Second Best

     I love the book of Genesis. I've been doing my morning reading from the Genesis series in She Reads Truth. I have a wonderful accountability partner, my sweet sister-in-law, who also loves studying this book. It's like a novel you can't put down, rich in popcorn worthy stories-yet all historical accounts of real people in real situations. Betrayal, destruction, death, infertility, polygamy, fresh starts, adultery, illness, reconciliation, and so much more, fill the pages of this action-packed book. I can read it over and over again, only to be amazed that I missed something each time I delve in again. That was the case with Leah.
     I've written a blog post about Leah before, but today's post is something that stood out to me just recently in my reading. It actually hurts my heart to think of life as Leah. The story takes place at the beginning of Genesis 33. Jacob is off to meet his estranged brother, nervous that Esau will take revenge on him for stealing his birthright and blessing. He is on his way from leaving his father-in-law, Laban, toward Canaan where he would settle with his own family. In preparation for meeting up with Esau, expecting that there could be trouble, he divides his family into groups. He placed his servants with their children in the front, just behind him. Leah and her children were placed in the middle, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. The most vulnerable to attack were the servants, followed by Leah and her sons, while most protection was given to Rachel and Joseph in the back. 
     Leah was a regular woman. She wasn't void of the emotions we all experience today. And honestly, I can't imagine what she must've felt being placed in front of her sister and nephew. Vulnerable. Angry. Jealous. Unwanted. Loved less. Second fiddle. All of these feelings are ones that are painful and angering, yet they were a reality of her life. It wasn't a life she chose for herself, but one her father orchestrated by deceiving Jacob. She was given to Jacob unknown to him, in the place of her sister, Rachel, whom Jacob loved. He didn't love Leah, yet she had no choice but to live as the unchosen wife. By giving Leah to Jacob, Laban opened both of his daughters up to a life of jealous rivalry, discord and anger. 
     Have you ever felt passed over? Overlooked? Second best? I think we all have at some point. Maybe you didn't get the job you applied for. Maybe your spouse left you for someone else. Maybe you didn't make the team. These types of things cause hurt feelings and even anger and bitterness. People will hurt us because they are people, but God won't. We never have to worry about being out of His protection. We are always Rachel- never Leah. It doesn't take the sting out of rejection, but it helps to know rejection is temporary. We can remind ourselves of how we are chosen by God. We are blessed and held in His loving hands. He will never thrust us forth into enemy territory- only Satan does that. 
     I think it's a beautiful thing that God chose Leah to be the line the Messiah would come through. While she maybe didn't know the story of her people, and how God would send His Son through future generations, she was shown favor in being the mother of many sons. I hope she felt comfort from her boys, but I know she eventually pinned her hopes that her sons would give her Jacob's love, to hope that God was with her. That was enough. And it's enough for me, too. Anything I am given isn't about gaining favor from mere humans, it's about giving glory to God for His mercy and grace toward me. 
     Being Leah must've been hard. And sometimes, being Ruth is hard too. But when I stop looking around me to see where I measure up, I'll find that all along I've been so loved. I've been chosen. I'll never, ever be overlooked or turned away. And while it's true that people will sometimes hurt us, we can draw comfort in knowing that God won't. Instead of leaving me in the front, exposed to the enemy, He swoops down and covers me with the safety of His wings. I don't have to be second best. And sometimes, that truth breathes life back into our sorrowing souls. 

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. Psalm 138:7 (ESV)
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah Psalm 32:7 (ESV)
So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:6 (ESV)
The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4:18 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, thank You for seeing us as Rachel, and not Leah. You don't love anyone more than me, and you don't love anyone less. You are righteous and good and our Protector and Friend. You promise to walk through trouble with us-never leaving us alone. We are so grateful for Your loving hand of protection. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!