Second Best

     I love the book of Genesis. I've been doing my morning reading from the Genesis series in She Reads Truth. I have a wonderful accountability partner, my sweet sister-in-law, who also loves studying this book. It's like a novel you can't put down, rich in popcorn worthy stories-yet all historical accounts of real people in real situations. Betrayal, destruction, death, infertility, polygamy, fresh starts, adultery, illness, reconciliation, and so much more, fill the pages of this action-packed book. I can read it over and over again, only to be amazed that I missed something each time I delve in again. That was the case with Leah.
     I've written a blog post about Leah before, but today's post is something that stood out to me just recently in my reading. It actually hurts my heart to think of life as Leah. The story takes place at the beginning of Genesis 33. Jacob is off to meet his estranged brother, nervous that Esau will take revenge on him for stealing his birthright and blessing. He is on his way from leaving his father-in-law, Laban, toward Canaan where he would settle with his own family. In preparation for meeting up with Esau, expecting that there could be trouble, he divides his family into groups. He placed his servants with their children in the front, just behind him. Leah and her children were placed in the middle, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. The most vulnerable to attack were the servants, followed by Leah and her sons, while most protection was given to Rachel and Joseph in the back. 
     Leah was a regular woman. She wasn't void of the emotions we all experience today. And honestly, I can't imagine what she must've felt being placed in front of her sister and nephew. Vulnerable. Angry. Jealous. Unwanted. Loved less. Second fiddle. All of these feelings are ones that are painful and angering, yet they were a reality of her life. It wasn't a life she chose for herself, but one her father orchestrated by deceiving Jacob. She was given to Jacob unknown to him, in the place of her sister, Rachel, whom Jacob loved. He didn't love Leah, yet she had no choice but to live as the unchosen wife. By giving Leah to Jacob, Laban opened both of his daughters up to a life of jealous rivalry, discord and anger. 
     Have you ever felt passed over? Overlooked? Second best? I think we all have at some point. Maybe you didn't get the job you applied for. Maybe your spouse left you for someone else. Maybe you didn't make the team. These types of things cause hurt feelings and even anger and bitterness. People will hurt us because they are people, but God won't. We never have to worry about being out of His protection. We are always Rachel- never Leah. It doesn't take the sting out of rejection, but it helps to know rejection is temporary. We can remind ourselves of how we are chosen by God. We are blessed and held in His loving hands. He will never thrust us forth into enemy territory- only Satan does that. 
     I think it's a beautiful thing that God chose Leah to be the line the Messiah would come through. While she maybe didn't know the story of her people, and how God would send His Son through future generations, she was shown favor in being the mother of many sons. I hope she felt comfort from her boys, but I know she eventually pinned her hopes that her sons would give her Jacob's love, to hope that God was with her. That was enough. And it's enough for me, too. Anything I am given isn't about gaining favor from mere humans, it's about giving glory to God for His mercy and grace toward me. 
     Being Leah must've been hard. And sometimes, being Ruth is hard too. But when I stop looking around me to see where I measure up, I'll find that all along I've been so loved. I've been chosen. I'll never, ever be overlooked or turned away. And while it's true that people will sometimes hurt us, we can draw comfort in knowing that God won't. Instead of leaving me in the front, exposed to the enemy, He swoops down and covers me with the safety of His wings. I don't have to be second best. And sometimes, that truth breathes life back into our sorrowing souls. 

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. Psalm 138:7 (ESV)
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah Psalm 32:7 (ESV)
So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:6 (ESV)
The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4:18 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, thank You for seeing us as Rachel, and not Leah. You don't love anyone more than me, and you don't love anyone less. You are righteous and good and our Protector and Friend. You promise to walk through trouble with us-never leaving us alone. We are so grateful for Your loving hand of protection. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!

Puzzles and Me

     Ask my kids- I hate puzzles. They call for this big investment of time where you put all these miniature pieces together, and then when you finish, you take them all apart and pack it back into the box. It seems so pointless and futile to me. Oh- and of course one piece will be missing, because that's just the way it goes around here. If I do lend any help, it's with the border pieces- the easiest part. My kids and my husband enjoy them, but I would rather spend my time doing almost anything else.
     Life is like a puzzle. All these small fragments of time and experiences- some full of joy, and others pain. It helps to know that the painful pieces are just a piece, and it's honestly one of the things that get me through harder times. Sometimes it seems other people don't have many painful circumstances in their life journey, but I'm betting they do. Others are called to walk seriously dark and trying times, and it can seem more than a human can tolerate. But those ugly pieces of our puzzles are where we truly learn about ourselves, and about our God.
     My painful puzzle pieces are areas where I've learned the most in life. It's easy to trust God when everything is in order and you're happy and carefree. But those times won't make you grow. Sometimes, I wish I could almost stay the same spiritual size- no pain, no worries, no issues. But is that really the best thing for me? God knows me enough to know I need my share of trials, because if I don't, I won't really learn about how He is there when I need Him. I won't learn about how He is trustworthy when others aren't. And I won't learn about how much I need His love nor how much comfort He offers. I'll stay comfortable and stagnant- the same, but never more refined. 
     What pieces is God fitting together in your life right now? You may be in an easier stage of life- the border pieces. Or, you may be in the difficult part of your life puzzle- fears, worries, loss, heartache and pain. These parts are so hard to experience, but in them is opportunity. We can use them to grow and learn and be more like our Father. And the comfort we have is that our difficulties and painful circumstances are only given a time period. They aren't indefinite or eternal. Sometimes, when I'm sitting in the dentist's chair (one of my least favorite places to sit), I remind myself that this place of discomfort has a time limit. I'll be nervous and uncomfortable for a while, but eventually, I'll be safely at home again with the dental procedure behind me. This is what I remind myself of when life gets messy. There is an expiration date on the situation, and one day, I will wake up and feel better- I will feel hope and joy again!
     So whatever you're up against today, may you know that it's one piece of your life puzzle. Some of those pieces forever change us, and cause us lifelong pain. But even in that, as Christians, we know what's ahead for us is free of all the mess that comes with this broken world. Our sadness, heartache, and pain have a time limit. One day, we will be free from all of it. And while we wait for that release from our life burdens, may we seek opportunity to use our experiences to enrich the lives of others. And may they deepen our love for our heavenly Father. Because 100 years from now, it'll all be behind us- the lessons of living in this world. And what will truly matter will be how we served Him in our lives, and how He used each puzzle piece to hopefully transform us more into the image of His Son. May I be clay in His hands, willing to be molded to fit His purposes for me- never unyielding and unteachable. 

For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:36 (ESV)
Strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God. Acts 14:22 (ESV)
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, while each piece of my life's puzzle isn't easy or enjoyable, I pray that Your purposes for me will blow me away. May the ugliest, most complicated pieces be a source of Your light in my life, leading others to want to know more about You. In Your name, I pray Jesus, Amen!

     
     
     
     
     
     

What are You Made Of?

     So, you're a Christian, and you're not afraid to say you are, but are you afraid to live like one? Like, really live like one. Not just attending your place of worship, reading the Bible occasionally and offering up prayers when you need something- I'm talking about much more than that. It's easy to proclaim something, but much harder to live something.

     In my recent study on the book of Daniel, I was amazed at the courage a few simple Jews displayed in light of the powerful, pagan King of Babylon. Take Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. These men were faced with a very tough decision- bow and worship the golden image made by the hands of men, or refuse to worship any god beside their Yahweh. The cost of refusing to obey the King's command meant they would be thrown into a fiery furnace, ensuring their certain death. Then there was Daniel. He could obey the King's decree that they should only bow down to him, or face being thrown into the lion's den for praying to God. These were hungry lions- vicious and strong. 

     What was it like for them in that moment, refusing to kneel before that image? And for Daniel- boldly praying in view of critical eyes? What kind of faith drew these men to willingly face a fiery furnace, or a den of lions? These aren't just stories; they are real-life encounters carefully recorded in biblical history. Place yourself in their shoes. Do you have the courage and the faith to willingly face certain death for God? Do you have the faith to believe that He can deliver you from these circumstances that are seemingly impossible to survive? 

     I love how these men believed God would deliver them. It may be easy to believe it when they were safely away from the fire and lions. But in the moment they were led to that fiery furnace and those hungry lions, they could have chosen, right then, to renounce their faith and save themselves. But they didn't. I think of myself in that moment, and I pray to have the same faith, obedience, and courage that these men displayed.

     In light of what they faced, I'm ashamed at the lesser trials I've shied away from out of fear. I've faced difficulties far easier than a fiery furnace or a hungry pack of lions- and I've complained. I've said, "It's not fair!" I've walked away, rather than boldly walked forward. I've argued my case for avoiding hard situations, wishing to be happy and comfortable instead. I've chosen to remain stagnant in this place of comfort and security, refusing to step out in blind faith. And I don't want to stay here- even though it feels nice, safe, and secure. Because "easy" won't allow me to experience the growth God desires for me. 

     Friend- are you afraid? Do you wish for the courage of a Daniel? Are you tired and frustrated with living in your comfortable space, free from any real cost? Maybe God will lead you through fire- I've been there a time or two, and it's a painful place to be. I bet you've been there, too. But my guess is that we will be faced with more. What will you do when the fire returns? Will you run, or will you stay? Will you trust Him to see you through, or will you be angry and bitter that He allowed it? Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were all delivered from certain death because of their great faith. We may not be delivered the way we hope to be, but we know He will deliver us. "Lord, give us courage to have faith with real substance- not a faith that fears!"

     Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, "O

     Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If 

     this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the 

     burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king.

     But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your

     gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." (Daniel

     3:16-18 ESV).

Asking for Help

     If you are having marital difficulties strong enough to question your durability and commitment, it's probably time for counseling. If you are seriously unhappy with your spouse, it's time for counseling. If you can't seem to understand one another, and it's causing an issue, it's time for counseling. If you have one partner that has been sexually unfaithful, it's definitely time for counseling. 
While there are a myriad of issues that can benefit from counseling, I can say personally that a counselor is invaluable in helping sort out the mess in your mind, when it comes to adultery. I found it causes anxiety to keep things in, and it released tension to talk things through. I am so thankful for the availability of counseling, and the choices I had open to me. 
     I lived an entire 47 years before I ever darkened the door of a counseling center. I am fortunate to have not felt it necessary in my past, but when I was faced with infidelity, I needed an outlet for my thoughts and feelings. While I had many friends and family I was able to talk to about my situation, at least to a degree, they were all connected to one side or the other. I loved having a safe person to share my thoughts with who was completely outside of the situation. This person had the necessary training to make sense of the issues I was dealing with, and offer ways to cope in a positive way.
     Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Many people feel that they should be able to deal with life's struggles on their own, but many times, we just can't do it well. When we try to handle big things on our own, we often don't heal in a healthy way. Not only did I find a listening ear in my counselor, I found an invaluable friend. While I went for close to a year by myself, I am thankful to have sessions now with both of us present. A counselor is so helpful in opening up our eyes and hearts to the needs and feelings of our spouse. 
     You may have grown up hearing that counseling is a waste of time, or that you can fix any problem on your own. I want to encourage you to remove any old thought patterns you may have heard against it, and look into a good christian counselor. Once you go and connect with one, you will soon see the rewards for having someone professional and safe, giving guidance and encouragement. 
     Having a christian counselor that supports the truths found in scripture is important. Not only did I find one of that fit that description, but I also received wonderful advice and help from others. None will be able to shed as much light as someone that has walked the journey of infidelity. And of course I had my Heavenly Father, always with me, and listening to my thoughts and my heart. Speak to Him- share your feelings, and know that He is completely invested in you. When we open our hearts to those willing to help, we will be on the road to healing, much faster!

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22 ESV
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14 ESV
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 ESV
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for always hearing me, and for Your Word that gives instruction and guidance. I thank You as well for providing those who can give us professional help when it is needed. I am thankful for the counsel of friends, and for the blessing of a good, christian counselor. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!