Maybe you've been here as a parent, and this same conversation played out in your own home. "Mom, he said the s-word!" Your mind likely goes to a 4-letter word- the magic number for bad words, it would seem. But on careful digging from your little one, the word turned out to be sex. That whispered word in my long ago childhood- unspoken by most, especially by the right people. And so we began childhood thinking sex bad, when in fact, if practiced God's way, is actually a beautiful good gift.
There likely isn't a subject with more books and articles than sex. Sex tips fill women's magazines. "What women really want", a hot topic in men's reading materials. Sex therapists. Sexual addiction. Pornography. Sex chat rooms. Prostitution. Human trafficking. Adultery. Fornication. Divorce. Abortion. Sexually transmitted diseases. There are so many by-products of unhealthy, ungodly sex. When we think of guidance for anything sexual, we likely don't think of the Bible, and yet God is the One who gave this gift to us. As the Creator of sex, He is the only One with answers to its purpose, and who it was created for. This is where our world gets so twisted in its view of all things sexual.
We read in Genesis that God instituted marriage and then told Adam and Eve to be "fruitful and multiply". He gave Eve to Adam to be his wife, and from them would come the descendants of the world. But sex wasn't just for procreation, it was intended to be pleasurable between a man and his wife. Reading in the Song of Solomon, we follow the passionate love story of a married couple. It is a story that shows the amorous side of sex- not only to be fruitful and multiply, but to enjoy! Our culture likes to think sex is for the young, the beautiful, the powerful- but God says it's for a man and his wife, and it's private and holy.
Sex used in the wrong way hurts people. I believe this is one powerful reason God takes sexual immorality seriously. His gift of sex was never meant to hurt others. Earlier in this post, I listed some of the ways misused sex causes pain. Adultery and fornication are two ways that are highly prevalent in our society, causing hurt and devastation. As someone who has felt the sting of adultery, I can tell you the result is painful and far reaching. And as a 40-something year old woman, I could tell you many examples of broken hearts from young people who gave themselves away before marriage and suffered painful consequences. Sexual baggage is heavy and hard to carry, and finds its way into healthy relationships, wreaking havoc on them. I know of young women who have horrible emotional pain following an abortion, in an effort to hide their situation from their parents. These are just some examples of how sex outside of God's plan cause pain and heartache.
When it comes to Microsoft, we would give Bill Gates words a lot of weight. He and Microsoft go together, and he would be considered an expert in this subject matter. And when it comes to sex, God is the expert. He created it, gave instruction on what and who it is for, and graciously gave it as a gift. There is no better authority than God on the subject of sex, and yet we listen far too often to the world's opinion on this topic. If you've been "doing it wrong", God is a God of second chances. I would invite you to investigate what His Word has to say on the subject, and talk to Him about your own thoughts and actions regarding sexual behavior and practices. While God is a God of love, He is also a God who gives us biblical principles He expects us to follow as Christians. Sex is beautiful, and it is a gift to enjoy within the confines of marriage. Don't buy Satan's lies about what sex is, and who it's for- because his lies are rooted in evil that will lead to pain and brokenness. God's ways will lead to joy and fulfillment, and sex- His way, is always, always worth the wait!
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4 (ESV)
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (ESV)
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; 1 Thessalonians 4:3 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, allow our thoughts of sex to be guided by Your Word. Help us to embrace Your principles, and to enjoy sex in the proper way. Remove negative baggage and Satan's lies, and help us to live in the freedom You meant for us in our marriages and relationships. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!
I love the book of Genesis. I've been doing my morning reading from the Genesis series in She Reads Truth. I have a wonderful accountability partner, my sweet sister-in-law, who also loves studying this book. It's like a novel you can't put down, rich in popcorn worthy stories-yet all historical accounts of real people in real situations. Betrayal, destruction, death, infertility, polygamy, fresh starts, adultery, illness, reconciliation, and so much more, fill the pages of this action-packed book. I can read it over and over again, only to be amazed that I missed something each time I delve in again. That was the case with Leah.
I've written a blog post about Leah before, but today's post is something that stood out to me just recently in my reading. It actually hurts my heart to think of life as Leah. The story takes place at the beginning of Genesis 33. Jacob is off to meet his estranged brother, nervous that Esau will take revenge on him for stealing his birthright and blessing. He is on his way from leaving his father-in-law, Laban, toward Canaan where he would settle with his own family. In preparation for meeting up with Esau, expecting that there could be trouble, he divides his family into groups. He placed his servants with their children in the front, just behind him. Leah and her children were placed in the middle, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. The most vulnerable to attack were the servants, followed by Leah and her sons, while most protection was given to Rachel and Joseph in the back.
Leah was a regular woman. She wasn't void of the emotions we all experience today. And honestly, I can't imagine what she must've felt being placed in front of her sister and nephew. Vulnerable. Angry. Jealous. Unwanted. Loved less. Second fiddle. All of these feelings are ones that are painful and angering, yet they were a reality of her life. It wasn't a life she chose for herself, but one her father orchestrated by deceiving Jacob. She was given to Jacob unknown to him, in the place of her sister, Rachel, whom Jacob loved. He didn't love Leah, yet she had no choice but to live as the unchosen wife. By giving Leah to Jacob, Laban opened both of his daughters up to a life of jealous rivalry, discord and anger.
Have you ever felt passed over? Overlooked? Second best? I think we all have at some point. Maybe you didn't get the job you applied for. Maybe your spouse left you for someone else. Maybe you didn't make the team. These types of things cause hurt feelings and even anger and bitterness. People will hurt us because they are people, but God won't. We never have to worry about being out of His protection. We are always Rachel- never Leah. It doesn't take the sting out of rejection, but it helps to know rejection is temporary. We can remind ourselves of how we are chosen by God. We are blessed and held in His loving hands. He will never thrust us forth into enemy territory- only Satan does that.
I think it's a beautiful thing that God chose Leah to be the line the Messiah would come through. While she maybe didn't know the story of her people, and how God would send His Son through future generations, she was shown favor in being the mother of many sons. I hope she felt comfort from her boys, but I know she eventually pinned her hopes that her sons would give her Jacob's love, to hope that God was with her. That was enough. And it's enough for me, too. Anything I am given isn't about gaining favor from mere humans, it's about giving glory to God for His mercy and grace toward me.
Being Leah must've been hard. And sometimes, being Ruth is hard too. But when I stop looking around me to see where I measure up, I'll find that all along I've been so loved. I've been chosen. I'll never, ever be overlooked or turned away. And while it's true that people will sometimes hurt us, we can draw comfort in knowing that God won't. Instead of leaving me in the front, exposed to the enemy, He swoops down and covers me with the safety of His wings. I don't have to be second best. And sometimes, that truth breathes life back into our sorrowing souls.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. Psalm 138:7 (ESV)
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah Psalm 32:7 (ESV)
So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:6 (ESV)
The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4:18 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, thank You for seeing us as Rachel, and not Leah. You don't love anyone more than me, and you don't love anyone less. You are righteous and good and our Protector and Friend. You promise to walk through trouble with us-never leaving us alone. We are so grateful for Your loving hand of protection. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!
Ask my kids- I hate puzzles. They call for this big investment of time where you put all these miniature pieces together, and then when you finish, you take them all apart and pack it back into the box. It seems so pointless and futile to me. Oh- and of course one piece will be missing, because that's just the way it goes around here. If I do lend any help, it's with the border pieces- the easiest part. My kids and my husband enjoy them, but I would rather spend my time doing almost anything else.
Life is like a puzzle. All these small fragments of time and experiences- some full of joy, and others pain. It helps to know that the painful pieces are just a piece, and it's honestly one of the things that get me through harder times. Sometimes it seems other people don't have many painful circumstances in their life journey, but I'm betting they do. Others are called to walk seriously dark and trying times, and it can seem more than a human can tolerate. But those ugly pieces of our puzzles are where we truly learn about ourselves, and about our God.
My painful puzzle pieces are areas where I've learned the most in life. It's easy to trust God when everything is in order and you're happy and carefree. But those times won't make you grow. Sometimes, I wish I could almost stay the same spiritual size- no pain, no worries, no issues. But is that really the best thing for me? God knows me enough to know I need my share of trials, because if I don't, I won't really learn about how He is there when I need Him. I won't learn about how He is trustworthy when others aren't. And I won't learn about how much I need His love nor how much comfort He offers. I'll stay comfortable and stagnant- the same, but never more refined.
What pieces is God fitting together in your life right now? You may be in an easier stage of life- the border pieces. Or, you may be in the difficult part of your life puzzle- fears, worries, loss, heartache and pain. These parts are so hard to experience, but in them is opportunity. We can use them to grow and learn and be more like our Father. And the comfort we have is that our difficulties and painful circumstances are only given a time period. They aren't indefinite or eternal. Sometimes, when I'm sitting in the dentist's chair (one of my least favorite places to sit), I remind myself that this place of discomfort has a time limit. I'll be nervous and uncomfortable for a while, but eventually, I'll be safely at home again with the dental procedure behind me. This is what I remind myself of when life gets messy. There is an expiration date on the situation, and one day, I will wake up and feel better- I will feel hope and joy again!
So whatever you're up against today, may you know that it's one piece of your life puzzle. Some of those pieces forever change us, and cause us lifelong pain. But even in that, as Christians, we know what's ahead for us is free of all the mess that comes with this broken world. Our sadness, heartache, and pain have a time limit. One day, we will be free from all of it. And while we wait for that release from our life burdens, may we seek opportunity to use our experiences to enrich the lives of others. And may they deepen our love for our heavenly Father. Because 100 years from now, it'll all be behind us- the lessons of living in this world. And what will truly matter will be how we served Him in our lives, and how He used each puzzle piece to hopefully transform us more into the image of His Son. May I be clay in His hands, willing to be molded to fit His purposes for me- never unyielding and unteachable.
For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:36 (ESV)
Strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God. Acts 14:22 (ESV)
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, while each piece of my life's puzzle isn't easy or enjoyable, I pray that Your purposes for me will blow me away. May the ugliest, most complicated pieces be a source of Your light in my life, leading others to want to know more about You. In Your name, I pray Jesus, Amen!
It was a cold, rainy night in downtown Atlanta. The street was dark and mostly deserted except for a few homeless people sitting on the sidewalk. He rounded the bend, anxious to be away from this area of town when he heard someone calling out to him. He was in a hurry and didn't really want to stop, but from somewhere deep inside him, he decided to listen to this man. In his eyes he saw a sadness and a hunger that touched his soul as he listened to the man's plea for a few dollars and a job. The money was the easy part, but the job—he wasn't likely to be serious about. Doubtful as he was he gave the man an address just a few streets over and asked him to come in the morning. He was in need of a few odd jobs, and this man said he needed work. If it didn't work out, no harm done.
To his surprise, the man did show up the next morning and worked hard to accomplish a few random tasks. This continued for the next few weeks until it eventually turned into a regular position. This man got his life on track and was able to help his sick mother and provide for their needs. It is not the way the story often goes, but it all started with one little act of kindness. We never know the lives we can touch when we do small simple gestures for someone else. These little things can turn into really big things, bringing glory to God the Father.
The flip side is we often get careless with our habits and behavior—small indiscretions with company finances. Unkind words said to our spouse. Holding a grudge. Shorting a customer of what they were promised. Overspending on unnecessary things when there are bills that need to be paid. These little daily actions may seem small, but with each indiscretion we become callous to what we are actually doing—disobeying God's Word (sin). We don't find ourselves in the middle of a relationship train wreck without first taking small steps in the wrong direction. No "big thing" that we become involved in is usually arrived at by surprise. We start down a slippery slope of little things that land us in hot water.
Your little things really do matter, because our small actions have a huge impact on where we go from there. If our little things are honest, kind, careful, considerate, godly and good, we won't have to worry that our big actions will be hurtful and damaging. So let's open our eyes to what we are doing in the routine, seemingly inconsequential moments of our days and make it our aim to do these small things with a pure heart motivated by the goodness of our gracious Father. Give money to that person who's in need. Give your neighbor a listening ear. Hug your spouse after a hard day at work—lending care and support. Give flowers to a sick friend. Whatever it is—do it. Because we never know how God will grow our small acts of obedience and completely transform someone's day or maybe even their life. The truth is, our little things are capable of making a difference—dare to see what God will do with your little things.
"One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much (Luke 16:10, ESV).
Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you (Luke 6:38, ESV)."
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10, ESV).
Dear Heavenly Father, guard our steps and keep us from disobedience. Help us instead to lend ourselves to others, giving and loving them with Your heart. Allow our eyes to see these small opportunities you open for us to show kindness, and we trust that You'll use these to do something bigger than we may ever know or imagine. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!
