Blank Notebooks

     I love a fresh, new notebook. The pages are perfect, crisp, and white. No mistakes, no wrinkled edges- just clean and neat. Writing on that first page is satisfying, but also frustrating if you start off the notebook with a mistake. If it's in pencil, the eraser can leave smudge marks. But I'm almost always writing with a pen or a fine-tip marker, so for me, it's just a mistake I can't hide. I can scribble over it, or I can use white-out- but there is no getting around the fact that I screwed up. Life is kind of like that too, isn't it? 
     As we finish off this year of 2019, our "notebooks" for the year are at the last pages. Riddled throughout them are mistakes- not one of us will come to the last page and think, "hey, no mistakes for me this year!" We all have some beautiful pages- neat and clean. Then we all have the pages that are messy- indicating failures, hurts, pain, frustrations, and loss. My pages will look different than yours. Yours will tell your own unique story, yet all of us fall short of perfection. 
     My year has been a healing year- a year of building and re-building. A story full of hurt, betrayal and pain that turned into hope, joy and restoration. The very first pages of my year had marks on it that are painful to recall. I spent the New Year celebrating with my kids while my husband was not with us at the time. I forged out into 2019 with a broken heart and faith that somehow, some way, God would open good doors for me. And He did. And just like my God, He did more than I could ever have hoped or imagined.
     Less than a week into 2019, God miraculously reached in and restored my husband. I'll never tire of hearing that story, and if you haven't read it yet, you can find it in my earlier blog posts. In February, we renewed our wedding vows, and since then, we are falling into our new normal in life. We still face challenges, and if you're married, you will experience your own challenges. We have spent most of this year healing and growing and learning and trying to be intentional with one another. And as we end the year, we know Who has given us this gift of second chances- our amazing Heavenly Father.
     I don't know your story, and I don't know how your year started or how it's ending. I'm not sure what challenges you've faced this year, but I would love to hear of challenges conquered by the power of God Almighty. I'm living proof that He still fights our battles, so whatever you may be up against that may seem too big, too scary, or too overwhelming- they simply aren't. Not when we realize Who fights for us, and understand that He is more powerful than any of our circumstances.
     We are all about the turn the page to a fresh start. What will 2020 hold for us? None of us really know- but we can all count on days that will bring joy, and others that will break our hearts. All of us will have mistakes and smudge marks. We don't get to re-do our past, but we do have a whole new year ahead of us, providing opportunity to learn from our past mistakes, and hopefully avoid making the same ones in 2020. So as we embark on this New Year, think about who is in control of your pen or pencil- if you are, the mistakes will be abundant. But if God is allowed to be the Writer of your story, your notebook will look a lot better, a lot neater, and likely a lot different than you thought it would look. Allowing Him to be the Author of our story is the best way to set out in 2020! When we give Him the ultimate control, we are removing a lot of our stress, and setting ourselves up for fitting neatly into His purpose for us- and we don't want to miss that!

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19 (ESV)
You crown the year with your bounty; your wagon tracks overflow with abundance. Psalm 65:11 (ESV)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, as we face a New Year, we thank You for the blessings of 2019. Some of our days were hard days, but we know You walked them with us. Help us to learn from our past mistakes, and to avoid making the same ones in the New Year. Help us to allow You to be the Author of our life story, and to relinquish control to You. We look ahead to 2020, knowing You will walk us through every joy and every trial. We thank You for that, Father. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

Silent Night

     Silence. Do you get enough of it? I don't. The world is a really noisy place, and often I wish to just get away and enjoy some peace and quiet. I love the Christmas song Silent Night. The tune is breathtakingly beautiful- especially when sung by one of my favorite artists. But the words silent and calm rarely are a reality for me. And if you're like me, I'm sure you can relate.
     I like to have fun. I like to be surrounded by people and talking and laughter. Nothing is wrong with that, but too much of it drowns out something I desperately need to hear- God's voice. We are a people full of our own problems- marriage problems, problems with our kids, problems with our jobs, problems with our health and financial problems. We want God to help us and often pray for His leading and guidance, then we surround ourselves with so much noise that we will never hear His answers. This is the first misstep toward finding real peace in our troubled situations. By avoiding silence, we inadvertently avoid His whispered words of wisdom and direction. 
     Christmas is my favorite time of year- there is no season that compares to all that Christmas offers us. It's a time of fellowship, family, food and festivities. It's shopping and baking and wrapping and decorating. It's rich in tradition, and warms even the coldest of heart. But here is another thing it is: busy! So how can we balance our holiday agenda while making sure we are listening to the One whom we are celebrating? 
     I've got quite an extensive prayer list right now. I have friends who are really sick. I have family members who are struggling. I have relatives that still need salvation. I'm praying for couples that are either in a battle for their marriage, or recovering from one (just like us). Our home is often faced with decisions that demand answers- some easier than others. I can pray, and pray, and pray, but if I'm not listening, then what's the point? I desperately need God- and I desperately long for clarity. I want to see my prayers answered, and I want to hear His voice as it leads me in the very best direction. 
     God won't force His way into our lives- He lets us choose. My choices hold a lot of eternal weight. Will I allow time for listening, or will I cram one more noisy activity into my day, ultimately crowding Him out? Sweet friends, Jesus is always listening. He craves interaction with us. I often don't understand how privileged I am to enjoy a two-way relationship with the God of the Universe. And so I encourage you, this busy, noisy Christmas season, to make time for a silent night. Listen for His voice- because missing it is such a loss. Missing it means we misstep, leading us down a path He never intended. I'm guilty of over-extending, and I need to be the first to own up to falling short of active listening- but I want to do better. I need to do better. And so I'm making myself a promise- a promise to allow more silence into this season, so I'll hear Him... really hear Him, when He speaks to me. 

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:1-5 (ESV)
Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. Psalm 25:4-5 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, I long for silence, amidst the noise of life. I need it, because without it, I'll never hear You. Help me to keep my heart and my ears open to Your Word and Your voice. May I take time this Christmas season for a little bit of silence- active silence that begs answers to my prayers. And in this silence, may my heart worship and praise You! In Your name, I pray Jesus, Amen!

     

Perfect Baby Jesus

     The night seemed endless as pain racked her body. Sweat rolled down her face and her body arched with each contraction. It's hard to catch your breath, so much so, that you are given lessons on how to breathe correctly through these painful contractions. As they move closer and closer together, the pain intensifies. And then the moment comes- a baby is born! Relief and the worst of the pain are behind, and every mother wants to see one thing: the face and body of their little child. We count toes. We count fingers. We look at that tiny face- scrunched up with the sudden assault of light. We listen for their cry. As mothers, this long-awaited child is finally here, and we are so thankful to see this little one we anxiously looked forward to meeting.
     Mary was no different- I'm sure of it. And when she looked at her newborn baby Jesus, she beheld perfection. No crying. No deformities. Ten fingers. Ten toes. While she was no different- this child surely was. And I have no doubt that she knew from the start that the news of the angels was truth- the Messiah had come, and passed through her very womb, into the world. In my mind's eye, I can see Him too. This perfect baby with no sin- no scars. And just like I did with my own little ones, I also look at His hands, feet, and face. Smooth and pink- healthy and whole. But it wouldn't last, and it wasn't because of His sin. No- it would be my own sin that would disfigure Him. 
     Yes, I rejoice at this precious Christ child that came to save us. He was Immanuel- God with us. His name was Jesus, meaning this : He shall save His people from their sins. But I also want to own up to my part in how His perfect body would be beaten and crushed- offered on that cross for the sins of the world... specifically, mine. Gone were the smooth cheeks that were once pink and healthy and whole. Hands and feet now bleeding from the nails that fastened Him to that cruel tree. A side that was once perfect, now split open from the sword of a malefactor. His sweet forehead- likely kissed often by the lips of Mary, punctured with thorns made into a crown- a crown that mocked His title: King of the Jews. 
     It's humbling to think of what happened to the body of this precious baby- the baby we celebrate at this season of Christmas. And yet His body only endured a fraction of the pain felt on that Cross. Most of His pain was a result of dealing with our sin in those hours that God shrouded His Son in darkness- a darkness that was protective of His suffering Son. It was in those hours that the punishment of my sin was taken upon the Son of God- and God made good on His promise to send us a Savior. 
     So while we often get caught up in thinking of that manger scene- the couple huddled up together in the likely shelter of a cave in nondescript Bethlehem, there is so much more to it than that.  Yes-we think of this little baby, lying in the manger, wrapped in swaddling cloths. But I ask you to look even closer- look at these little hands and feet. Look at His tiny face. In this moment, the cost of our sin isn't visible on His little body- but it will be, and it had to be if I would ever be rescued. Oh God, I'm so thankful for this little baby- but I'm filled with an unspeakable gratitude for the promise that baby held. Thank You, Lord, for coming here with a willing heart to be our Jesus- the very One Who would save us from our sins. May we never forget that He's so much more than just a baby in a manger- He is the Savior of the world. Hallelujah- Christ came! Celebrate with me as we remember this child- our Messiah!

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14 (ESV)
And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." Luke 2:12 (ESV)
And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn. Luke 2:7 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for the gift of Your perfect Son- sent into the world as a tiny baby. His purpose was huge- a purpose that would send Him to the cross and offer up His life in a terrible way. We can't understand the love You have for us- but we thank You for this precious gift of Your Son, and how You sent Him to rescue us from our sin. In Your precious name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

An Unmerry Christmas

     Christmastime is one of my favorites. It's generally a time of happiness and joy. There is nothing like a day that goes like this : Starbucks salted hot chocolate. 50% off everything in the store. The possibility of snow (a rarity around here). My favorite hoodie and jeans. Scents of the season. A fun dinner with family. A walk through McAdenville, NC (Christmas town USA). A Christmas movie on the couch. Gas logs burning. A beautifully lit tree casting a warm glow in my home. Laughter. Togetherness. These are days that bring great joy. But sometimes- some Christmas seasons don't go this way. In fact, happiness seems far removed and the season is more painful, than joyful.
     Perhaps you've been there. I have. Everyone around you seems full of Christmas cheer- wrapped up in holiday magic, and inside, you're lonely, hollow and sad. Death does that. A broken marriage does that. Poor health, a financial crisis, and loss, all cast painful shadows on this time of celebration. Death has robbed me of holiday joy, but most recently, it was a broken marriage and a broken heart. Quite honestly, I could have skipped the whole season had I not had children in the home that deserved this special time of year. 
     As Christians, we always have something to celebrate and feel joyful about- our Savior and how He rescued us from our sin! We have a wonderful future to look forward to- free of pain, suffering, death and loss. But in this moment, right now, loss may be stealing your happiness. You might be missing him. You may be wishing for better health- sick of laying on the couch in pain. You may be longing for some extra money to buy gifts for the kids this year. You are tired from being a caretaker of an elderly parent. You may long for peace over the chaos of your current home situation. Some seasons seem unfair, as the world around you seems to be celebratory and jovial, but you aren't. You just can't find the energy to get into the Christmas season. Memories from years past cause a real sense of emptiness on this present season. 
     God understands your hurt, and He longs to comfort you. We can get caught up in wondering why God would have allowed this painful season in our life. We can get angry. But because of sin, we don't live in a perfect world. People die. People have affairs. Money is tight. Kids rebel and turn away. Addictions are a reality. This wasn't the way God wanted this world to be- His way was the in the Garden before Adam and Eve disobeyed God and our world fell into sin. But because of sin, He sent His only Perfect Son into this imperfect world, to die so that we can be set free. So while we live here, sin touches our world. We will experience pain and loss, but for those who know Him as Lord, we have the assurance that when we take our last breath, He will make good on His promise of redemption. This world, and the master of it, only has a little while to cause us pain and grief. 
     Some seasons- even Christmas seasons, won't bring us happiness or joy. The magic of the season won't make it to our hearts- but may we always allow the Hope of the season to warm us, even when the lights and traditions let us down. This hope says our hurting is temporary. One day, He will heal all hurts and mend all hearts. That tiny baby in the manger is the fulfillment of our hope. During this Christmas season, if you aren't feeling it this year because you're hurting, may you allow your heart to be warmed by His promises, and may you feel the comfort only He can give. 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27 (ESV)
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)
You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away. And your life will be brighter than the noonday; its darkness will be like the morning. And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security. Job 11:16-18 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we pray for comfort for those hurting this Christmas season. This world is broken from sin, and often causes us pain and suffering. We look forward, with anticipation, to that day when You will redeem us and forever remove death and sin from us. We thank You, Lord, for coming to redeem us- for giving Your life as a ransom for ours. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!
     

Loving Away Needs

     It was a cold, drizzly Sunday evening. His family was hungry and he didn't have enough money to feed them. Big, hollow, sad eyes looked at him. He was the family leader- the provider, and he had failed them all. Disability had robbed him of his ability to aptly provide, and they were in debt up to their ears. They had three kids- all in the growing up stage of life, where they seemed to be able to eat endless supplies of food. He hated to do it- but the church down the street may be able to help them.
     He pulled in to the parking lot and saw the service was just getting underway. He kept his family in the car and made his way inside. Ashamed and nervous, he was approached by a couple of the men who obviously attended this place of worship. After stating his situation, he hated looking up into the eyes of these men who saw him possibly as a beggar- because that's what he felt like in this moment. The men asked him to take a seat and they stood a ways away from him. He could see them- dressed nice, apparently well-fed, and clean. What must they think of him? He once looked very much the same as they did- but life had taken a hard turn, and the rest was history. 
    The men seemed to make a decision and came his way. They told him they would follow him to the nearest grocery store and purchase groceries to feed his family. No questions. No statements about why he didn't have a job. No feelings of judgment- just a kindness he was desperate for. Why would they help a perfect stranger- one who hadn't darkened the door of a church for many years? What led them to open their pockets to people they had never met before, or knew nothing about? The man had an idea of the answer, though, which is why he had come to this place- God. His grandma had believed in Him, and she had lived a life of sacrifice. She helped anyone who seemed to need it, and some who didn't. And she had always told him this was what servants of Jesus should live like- because we should love like Jesus loved.
     Jesus says that everyone is our neighbor. Each person we see with a need- our neighbor! Each person with a longing to be loved- our neighbor! Each person in need of forgiveness and grace- our neighbor! When we really understand this concept, it makes it a lot easier to let go of grudges. It makes it easier to open our pockets, our hearts, and our arms to those in need. And if we refuse, or allow someone else to do it in our place, we lose. We lose the chance to love like Jesus.
     The holidays are here- a time of giving and loving. Sometimes, the ones around us with the greatest needs, are the ones we live with. They may need words of encouragement, white flags of surrender, an apology with no strings attached, a tank of gas, a hot meal, a listening ear, a warm hug, or the gift of forgiveness. And when we meet these needs, let's then look a little further out from our homes and families, and see what other needs we can meet. This is written to you, yes, but it's also for me. I can get so wrapped up in all the things I want, and miss the fact that I'm surrounded by people who have needs I could meet. Not all of them will require money- in fact, often, they just require me to notice and care. God help me to be more like You; to allow Your love to flow from me. There would be no greater blessing than to have it said of me- "she loved." 

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 (ESV)
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; Romans 13:10a (ESV)
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Luke 6:35 (ESV)
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, there are so many around us in need. Some may need material things, but some may only need love. Help us, Lord, to love like You do- generously, unconditionally, intentionally and faithfully. May this season be a time to lay down any differences, and reach out to those we may be struggling with. May we be characterized as people with Your heart- willing to meet the needs of those around us, and even those who aren't. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

When My Face Lied

     It's still hard to write about that time- the time when my life fell apart. Some days, I can almost forget it happened to me as life begins a new normal. But for many reading, you may still be in that broken place. It could be an unfaithful spouse that broke you, it could be the death of a loved one, or it could be another piece of tragic news that completely caught you off guard. Some days, I allow myself a visit to the past, if only to recall how far God has brought me- and has brought us. 
     I joked about my thoughts with my closest friends and family, but honestly, there was some truth to what I was feeling. While I liked to look put together and sane on the outside, the inside of me was a disaster. The mirror often lied about how I really was. Somedays this made me feel crazy and the outside of me seemed to mock what I felt. Truth be told, I suddenly had an understanding of Brittany Spears' bald head. While it doesn't really make a lot of sense to people who haven't been emotionally devastated, I could now understand the desire to make the outside of me match what was in my heart.
     This way of thinking isn't new- take the Old Testament custom of those who sat in sackcloth and ashes. When faced with circumstances that led to mourning and despair, they would remove their clothing and replace it with sackcloth. Sackcloth was made of coarse black goat hair- it was itchy, scratchy and terribly uncomfortable. Then to make matters worse, they would sit in a pile of ashes and pour them over their heads. This practice was an outward sign of what was going on inside. It was a physical picture of mourning, despair, grief and pain.
     I had my own "sackcloth and ashes" desires that likely make me sound a little nuts. I wanted to hide away in the woods, and cover myself in dirt. I don't feel very comfortable sharing those thoughts, but given the custom of the Old Testament Jews, I don't feel quite as crazy. This longing was my outward display of what was inside of me- grief and despair. By the way, I didn't carry through on this, but these were some of the thoughts of my broken heart. 
     Maybe you've never had feelings like this, and if you haven't, I'm happy for you. But if you have, you have an intimate understanding of grief. Grief leaves us wounded and in need of a Healer. Eventually, my feelings gave way to hope. Today, the thought of sitting in the woods covered in dirt doesn't have the same appeal, because with time, He healed the most broken parts of my spirit. Today, my smile is genuine, but for quite some time, it just didn't reach my heart. 
     We live around people who are grieving their own personal losses. They may smile and seem "okay" on the outside, but inside, they are a broken mess. We don't know what everyone is facing in their lives, and because of that, we need to be people of compassion. As God's children, it's our privilege to offer the same love, grace and compassion to the hurting- the ones we know are hurting, and the ones we think are doing better than they actually are. There really are people who are fighting battles we know nothing about- being kind and gracious may be just what they need to carry them through the day. May we allow God's love to pour from our own mended spirits, knowing His power to repair the brokenhearted in a very personal way. 

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 (ESV)
"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1 (ESV)
Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also. Psalm 31:9 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for being an ever present help in my time of grief and sorrow. Lord, heal those who are still hurting and in despair, and give me a heart of compassion and love for those who are broken. I thank You, Lord, for allowing me this opportunity to intimately relate to others experiencing loss, and showing them the comfort You have shown me. In Your name, I pray, Jesus, Amen!

     

Thanksgiving isn't About Turkey and Pie

     I'm getting really excited. Thanksgiving ushers in my favorite time of year- it's full of food, family, Christmas music, football, Black Friday planning, and more food. It is the opening of the whole Christmas season, complete with most of my favorite things. Thanksgiving, in my opinion, is the best holiday, because of what follows. I'm one of those people that have all trees in place to celebrate Thanksgiving- it's a mood all in itself.
     But Thanksgiving really isn't about all those things. It's not about turkey and pumpkin pie. It's not even about family. While those things bring plenty of gratefulness from my heart, they aren't the basis for the holiday. Thanksgiving is about being thankful- a season of reflection, appreciation and gratitude to the One who has blessed us with each gift we've been given. And often, if I'm being completely honest, I celebrate the season and get caught up in tradition, rather than the Giver of good things.
     Forgetting to really show thankfulness isn't a new problem, although it seems to be getting more rampant as years pass by. This brings to mind the story of the ten lepers Jesus healed in Luke 17. Ten healed, yet only one came to thank Jesus for healing him. Nine of them walked away celebrating their healing without thanking, or even caring to know their Healer. But one did. Man, I want to be like that one leper. I don't want my life to be like the nine that knew no real sense of gratitude. Their life had been doomed, and with their healing, their life sentence removed. You think to yourself, how rude and ungrateful- yet often I am sadly no better. 
     The season is upon us as Thanksgiving draws closer, yet we don't need a special day to live a life of gratitude. We are so blessed no matter what our situation is. God has given us life, yes, but if we know Him as Savior, He has given us the hope of what really matters. Life won't always be easy- in fact, most often it isn't. If you're like me, you've had your share of heartache and hard times, but it's so great thing to remember it's all temporary. If we could truly get a glimpse of our eternal home, our life would be completely transformed. We wouldn't be so focused on staying here. We wouldn't be so earthly minded. We have just a short span of living in a world tainted with hurt and brokenness. The best is yet to come for those of us who belong to Him. This helps us to better live in a spirit of thankfulness despite our circumstances. 
     Our God is a good God, but our God also loves to hear our words of thanksgiving. When we give good things to others, we expect to hear words of thanks- if we don't, we are hurt, disappointed and feel taken for granted. Why do we treat God differently, forgetting to thank Him for our many blessings and for what He has done for us? At this time of Thanksgiving, I want to encourage and challenge each of you to speak words of gratitude. Tell your family words of thanks. Tell your spouse how much you appreciate them. Tell your friends how grateful you are for them. But don't forget the Giver of all these blessings, and how much we owe Him. Because in the multitude of a debt I can never re-pay, I can say "thank You." 

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! Psalm 107:1 ESV
I will give to the LORD the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the LORD, the Most High. Psalm 7:17 ESV
Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Ephesians 5:20 ESV
Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, ... Psalm 50:14a ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, there is so much we should thank You for- for Your life, Your great sacrifice on the cross, for providing a way of salvation. Lord, we are thankful for Your love, for Your physical provisions for us. And Father, for the blessing of loved ones and family, we thank You. Help us to live a lifestyle of gratitude- that we would show it always and not just in this season of Thanksgiving. In Your name we pray, Lord Jesus, Amen!

She's Prettier Than Me

     Comparison. The thief of self-confidence. The lurking doubt in our mind that we don't measure up. Women are notorious at playing this game, and it steals our joy and confidence. Men play it too, but they are known to give themselves a pass far sooner than we are. We are often our own worst enemy when it comes to our appearance. While we know as fact that we are created a masterpiece, in the image of God, our hearts lack the knowledge that this is actual truth.
     These are the words of our enemy, and they are likely present in your mind, no matter how aesthetically pleasing your features are:
She is prettier than I am.
I don't like my ______.
I would look better if only _____.
I would be more accepted if I ______.
Trust me. I know these phrases, because I've heard them over and over again in my own spirit. They hurt, and they cause fear, doubt and uncertainty. If you've been betrayed or rejected, they are louder than they ever were in the past. We all hear them though, so what do we do about it?
     It is absolutely true that God looks on the inward appearance, and finds our value there. But sadly, we live in a world that looks on the outside first, and then decides our value. It's a backward culture, but one we must learn to live in with a measure of confidence. Over-confidence is another subject altogether, and one we often link to vanity and narcissism. So what is the balance we hope to embrace, as children of God? How do we live with a sense of confidence that God made us beautiful, and accept that as truth with a humble spirit?
     If I claimed to have all the answers, I would be lying- because I still wrestle with these whispered words that cause self-doubt. I look in the mirror and notice my faults much more than any other physical feature I possess. So I write this to myself- and not just to you! If you're married, it's important to make an effort to look your best, but it's also important to know they love you when you look your worst. Yet the hardest reality we face is that we often feel less attractive, due to our opinion of someone we believe to be more attractive than we are. Women often allow this to cause feelings of insecurity and jealousy, especially in the face of sexual betrayal.
     If you are married or in a relationship, I want to encourage you to build up your partner. We have tremendous power to squelch the feelings of insecurity in our spouse by our words and actions. Another valuable resource we have to combat insecurity is to see what God has to say about us in His Word. God would not send His only Son to die for someone He deemed worthless. We know from scripture that God doesn't love us based on our physical appearance- in fact, He is far more interested in our heart. 
     Our beautiful Savior, Jesus, was described as One without majesty or beauty that we should be attracted to Him for His physical appearance (see Isaiah 53). Yet was there ever One more beautiful than our Lord? Real beauty flows from our heart- outpouring into our attitude, presence, words, and actions. And while we live here, we have a distorted view of beauty, failing to recognize the beauty that truly counts. God help us to shed our insecurities and embrace the heart of Your Spirit within us. Help us to turn our eyes from the mirror and instead, fasten them on You. May I, like You, look on the hearts of others, rather than assign worth on physical attributes. Forgive me, Lord, for often being critical of who You created me to be!

Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4 (ESV)
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 (ESV)
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to remember how You see me- precious and so loved. It's so easy to get sidetracked with beauty and vanity and miss real beauty- the beauty of a heart of loving devotion to You. In Your name I pray, Lord, Amen!

     

My Mysterious God

     Why do bad things happen, and what is my response when they do? If I'm honest, my first response is often an angry cry towards God asking why this was allowed in my life. I doubt my ability to handle it, and I doubt that God really knew me well enough in giving me something this large to manage. I am most comfortable with things I can know for certain, but my God is a God of mystery. His Word tells us that He moves in ways that are mysterious to us—too big for me to understand. This begins the seesaw of my faith—my desire to control my circumstances, and His will for me to trust what He's doing.
     So many days I've wished for God to come down in bodily form and sit with me a while. I have so many questions, and unless He speaks the answers to me in person, I often feel unsure and anxious. In the middle of a hard situation, I'd love to have Him meet me for coffee and tell me specifically what will happen, and what I should do. And yet if He did, I would never develop my faith—a faith He longs for me to have. 
     The truth is, sometimes I'm not ready for the answer. God is going to use experiences, people, His Word and circumstances to bring me to the point of acceptance of what will be. Had God told me that one day my husband would have an affair and leave me for over a year, I would not have been able to move forward for fear and heartache. Instead, He worked mysteriously in my life giving me circumstances to better prepare me for the news I would one day receive. The delay of immediate answers if often gracious, and preparing me for things I can't yet see or understand.
     What are you up against that you wish you had answers for? We all have things that we face that leave us feeling anxious and uncertain. Some of these are bigger than others and cause us serious distress and anxiety. We may not understand why God is allowing us to face these things, but we know He is good. In the middle of my darkest moment He was there—I felt Him and knew He was present, even if He didn't reveal what I really wanted to know right away. Because God is interested in the spiritual realm of our circumstances the most, we often feel slighted in the physical and emotional issues facing us. This is due to our worldly vision in contrast to His spiritual vision. He sees what we can't and He knows how each life event will fit His greater plan for us. 
     While God's ways are mysterious, we shouldn't allow that mystery to diminish our faith. If we even know a little about Him, we can trust that what we are experiencing is not without purpose. I don't have to know all the answers because He does. I don't have to feel afraid, because He walks through any storm with me. Some days, this is easier said than done and I still wish for a face-to-face visit with my heavenly Father. The future is unknown to me, but I serve a God that holds it all in His hands and knows exactly what He's doing. Somedays, even when my heart screams for answers, that's all I really need to know.

Oh, the depths and the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable are his ways! Romans 11:33 (ESV)
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all the mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:2 (ESV)
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 (ESV)
"Can you find out the deep things of God? Can you find out the limit of the Almighty? Job 11:7 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we can feel afraid and insecure when we face certain trials. We long for answers and we long for brighter days, but we can trust that You are with us in those broken places and have a good plan for us. We cannot understand Your ways—they are mysterious to us. But we can see Your character in Your Word, and we can trust You and place our faith in You. Help us to believe even when it's hard, that You love us and are working in ways too big for us to understand. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

     

Soften My Heart, Lord

     I wasn't always so understanding of other people's problems. In fact, I would've been quick to notice it and shake my head in bewilderment. Troubled teens? You probably didn't discipline them enough. Isn't it true that many times the most judgmental people about your parenting, often don't even have children? A bad marriage? Date nights, looking your best, and having fun together should take care of the problem. How ridiculous and naive I was about that one- I never saw it coming until the day it happened to me.
     The least compassionate people you know likely have suffered very little in their lives. Some people seem to cruise through life with very few serious knock-downs. I'm not one of those people, and in many ways, I am thankful. When my life was characterized by what appeared to be God's favor over me, I was shallow, judgmental and cynical at best. And when my life plunged into various painful trials, God's favor wasn't removed- He was simply taking my heart of stone, and making it soft and pliable. 
     There won't come a day when I hear of someone miscarrying a baby, that I won't hurt for them. Having been there twice, I can offer understanding sympathy. When I was stuck in a period of infertility, it was truly a painful, frightening place to be. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, and the thought that it may never happen was deeply discouraging. I am so blessed that God gave me my son and daughter, and because of those previous losses, I appreciate my kids on a different level. I'm grateful for opportunities I've been given to show compassion and understanding for those suffering similar losses. This was one area of my heart being softened, but God wasn't finished with me yet.
     The biggest example of heart softening in my life thus far, has been in my marriage. I see it in so many- and I used to be one of them. It won't ever happen to us, I would say. I was naive and clueless when it comes to the workings of Satan. If you're married, don't ever doubt it could happen to you, but do make your commitment a very serious point of consideration. Marriage takes work, and just as any goal we have, in order for us to see it through, we will have to put in the effort on both sides. I assumed we would always be okay and that, dear friend, was a dangerous assumption.
     Our marriage fell apart in the fall of 2017. And because it did, I've been given a platform- my writing, even this blog, is all part of that. God has given me a unique opportunity to share my journey through infidelity to reach others. In the process, He has softened my heart to not only broken marriages, but broken hearts in general. We have a choice when we face painful valleys- become cynical and unhappy, or allow God to use us to reflect His Son through our brokenness. If we choose the latter, we will live life with a greater compassion for the hurting and lost. 
     If you've been called to suffer trials that have left you wounded and sad, I pray that you'll allow God to use them for good. My hope for you is that you'll reach out to others who understand your pain and show them the healing power of our Savior. While God doesn't relish in your pain, He can use it to soften you and give you a more compassionate heart. Ask God to place people in your path that need you, and when they come along, show them an understanding, compassionate heart- you have great power to assist others in healing from what almost broke you, had it not been for Jesus. Not everyone is able to help them, but God in His wisdom and love prepared you for this day and this person- don't miss it!

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, Colossians 3:12 (ESV)
Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 1 Peter 3:8 (ESV)
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15 (ESV)
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:3 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, don't let us miss out on using our own life experiences to show a compassionate and understanding heart to those who need us. We learned compassion from You, and we desire to imitate Your ways in our lives. Thank You for the trials that softened our hearts to the pain of others. In Your name, we pray, Amen!

     

Welcome Home, My Love!

     I was at the airport the other day, and a touching scene played out before me. I don't know the back story, but what I saw made my eyes tear up a little. There was a little boy holding balloons with an older couple. A woman, whom I believe was his mother, walked in the airport and they flew into each other's arms. The mom had tears running down her face, and the boy kept looking up at her with a huge smile. A homecoming, played out right there in the airport, as I watched with a teary smile. That little homecoming brought out a memory of my own- a wonderful, happy memory that still brings me so much joy!
     It was a cold January, Monday night, earlier this year, and I was waiting at home for a visitor. Not just any visitor, a very special one- my husband. He didn't used to be a visitor- he used to live here, but in this period of time, he did not. We had just gone through a little over a year of absolute turmoil. An affair had wrecked our marriage, and seriously damaged my heart. But on this night, the worst of it was behind us. A few days earlier, God had reached the heart of my husband in the most miraculous way, and the result was spiritual restoration. This story wouldn't have happened without God's intervention; I know that in the very depths of my heart.
     I had no doubt that this time we were finally headed in the right direction, and while I was nervous for him to show up at our home, I was also very excited. I was excited because this was a homecoming of sorts- my husband was coming back to me! The lies, betrayal and deceit were behind us, and the present moment of this day was an incredible gift, because both of us knew how close we came to losing it all. Most of what we said, and what happened that Monday night is a treasure we share between only the two of us- a precious, tender blessing. But what I can tell you is that when he got out of his car, I was in the garage waiting, and what followed was the most touching scene of my entire life. Tears, hugging, prayers of thanksgiving to God, talking, and a love bigger than any love I've ever yet felt for him, were all components of that special evening. While Satan had hoped to destroy us- God stepped in and turned it all around! Sometimes I wonder why He gave me such an incredible gift, and yet He opens my eyes daily to what He plans to do with it. This was a healing homecoming- two hearts being knit back together after being torn apart. 
     I know another homecoming awaits me- one I look forward to with anxious anticipation. I can get pretty caught up in living, and I think it's something we naturally do. But while I'm here, I am living short of the very best homecoming I'll ever be a part of. One day, when my family and friends say goodbye to me, I'll be experiencing the most wonderful welcome of all time- Jesus will be welcoming me home! Sin and pain will be behind me, and only good things ahead! No more bad days. No more death. No more sickness or heartaches or worry. Safe in the arms of my Savior- forever home! And while my heart warms with the scene from the airport, and more so over the story that unfolded with my own dear husband, they are mere glimpses of what awaits me. One day, we'll never say goodbye again. We will finally be home at last. I hope to see you there- there is no place better than our heavenly home!

But, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him"- 1 Corinthians 2:9 (ESV)
In my Father's house are many rooms. If It were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? John 14:2 (ESV)
But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, Philippians 3:20 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we look with anticipation to Your second coming to take us home. While we love our earthly homes, and the joys we experience here, we know they pale in comparison to what awaits us in heaven. Until we are home, may we have the courage to share the way to heaven with others. In Your precious name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

Messy Me

          having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a 
          sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure
          heart, 1 peter 1:22 (esv)

     It was a busy morning- the kind of morning where you take a quick shower and put your wet hair up and throw on gym clothes. I had some errands to run and needed to stop by the store for a couple things while I was out. I usually take the extra time to dry and style my hair, but not today. While I was wandering around Walmart, I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen for years. I was tempted to dart around the aisle and escape, considering my look for the day, but I wasn't fast enough. I made excuses for my appearance and wished they had seen me on my better days. 
     Conversation catch up was light, including only the good things going on in our lives. We shared about our kids, where we lived, our spouses, and where we went to college. We smiled, and did our best to make the conversation one that was neat, clean, and tidy. Because that's what we feel the most comfortable with, isn't it? Can you imagine bumping into an acquaintance and actually telling them the truth about life? They would likely want to make a quick escape and even possibly feel sorry for me, if I were honest.
     Why do we feel the need to present the best version of ourselves to others? Are we afraid of being vulnerable and messy? Why do we put on the show that we live in a pain-free, perfect world? Why can't I be real with other people, letting them know that life has had its rough moments, without shame or embarrassment? The honest answer to that question unsettles me, because it points to one word- pride! 
     We often get wrapped up in being polished. We want the best clothes, good hair, pretty nails, and a nice ride- I'm no exception. I like to look my best, and be my best. Some days, I can almost pull it off, but most days, I'm messy. I don't necessarily mean on the outside as much as I mean inside of me. I say dumb things. I hurt people's feelings. I forget to pay attention to the person that feels left out. I make "mom mistakes." I gossip, even though I know it's wrong. I snap at my husband. I nag my kids. The truth is, the outside of me may look just fine, but the inside of me can be ugly. 
     Jesus isn't afraid of my mess. I may try to hide it from people, but I know God sees the truth of me. I can't fool Him with a polished exterior- scripture even tells us that God doesn't look on the outward appearance, He looks at our hearts. I may have it all together on the outside, but be falling apart on the inside- emotionally and spiritually. That's been true for me, more days than I care to recall. Hard days where pain, fear and insecurity were crippling me on the inside, yet I try to present a version of myself that isn't faulty. I'm thankful for those who really know me and can see past the facade. And I'm thankful that God loves me despite my failures.
     God has been working to remove the polished me, and replace me with a more authentic version of myself. I'm beginning to accept my imperfections, knowing God will use them in ways I never imagined. Being open about our messes, opens doors. I see the old me in so many others, especially Christians, that are still hiding. They have the outward appearance that everything is just perfect, yet inside, they're falling apart. I want to hug them and tell them it's okay to take off the mask and share their burdens. Are you afraid, friend, of sharing your heart- mess and all? I pray that God reminds me daily to have compassion for those who are brave enough to be vulnerable and open up, and that He gives me insight and wisdom to know when someone is hiding. Let's be genuine in a world full of knock-offs. God intends for us to be honest and real- may He give me the courage to live my imperfect life, and help me use my experiences to help others who may also be struggling. God loves "messy me", and He loves you too. No matter what. 

Faith or Freaking Out?

     It was a cool December day, and I remember it all too well. Something was wrong in my marriage, and I felt weighed down with anxiety. Something wasn't right, and for the first time in my 24 1/2 year marriage, I felt very fearful. My husband's location did not match what he had verbally told me, and that's all it took to make that sick feeling way down in the pit of my stomach. It wasn't a fear you could easily hide, no, my face said it all! I couldn't act normal, instead, I felt on the verge of hysteria. In that moment, I desperately needed God, yet it was almost too much to comprehend, let alone pass it on to Someone more capable, as crazy as that now sounds.
     Even this past weekend, I felt that awful familiar feeling of dread once again. A warm, relaxing Saturday shower was my current agenda, followed by a day of household chores and some baking. As I dried off and checked my phone, a text thread between my siblings grabbed my attention. It's not an easy piece of news to swallow hearing that the woman who cared for me, supported and loved me for all of my 49 years, was being rushed to the ER for a suspected stroke. Fear again- an awful enemy that the devil uses to derail us, and shift our faith from God, to helplessness. 
     I thank God for His willingness to be an intimate part of my life. Not only as an observer, but an integral help and support system that I can't imagine living without. God calls us to faith- faith that He is able to handle all of the awful, and not so awful circumstances of our lives. While I know that in theory, it's often hard to recall when I receive crushing news. I am guilty of feeling panic first, until I remember that isn't His way for me. 
     How do you respond to bad news, a serious illness or even suspicions? Do you feel immediately fearful? Does anxiety get the best of you, like it often does for me? It's true, that some news you'll receive, will forever change your life. Some news means an end to an earthly relationship with someone we dearly love. Some news means my own life is in jeopardy. In those moments, it's naturally hard not to feel panicked, yet God wants us even then, to trust Him and lean on Him for stability and help. But too often, it's a process for me- panic first, try to re-gain some sort of control I actually don't even possess, and then remember that God is available to help me through the good and the bad. 
     My marriage did fall apart from infidelity, but thank God that wasn't the end of our story! God is restoring our marriage one day at a time. And my sweet mom? She is recovering at home with only minor evidence of the TIA she was diagnosed with. Sometimes, the answers from God are really good ones, but sometimes, things don't work out the way we desperately longed for. Even then, God asks us to trust Him. It doesn't mean we won't feel hurt and heartbroken- He understands that we will. But even on those harder days, He is working out a story that involves all of us- saved or lost. We are all a piece to a puzzle of ultimate redemption, and while some of the working together of the pieces causes us heartache and pain, the finished product is exactly as it should be- a perfect picture revealing the glory of God. So in these days of living and learning, gains and losses, God is reminding me often of how I really need Him. He's tenderly calling out to me, "Ruth- just trust Me, I won't ever leave you!" So when my heart gives in to fear, my prayer is that I'll remember He calls me to something infinitely better than panic- faith that He will see me through.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)
I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4 (ESV)
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. Proverbs 29:25 (ESV)
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, how often I'm guilty of fear before faith. I pray that each day, I'll be reminded of Your perfect ability to handle the things that are too big for me. I confess that when things are really painful, it seems difficult to trust it's all known to You, and permitted to happen. Help me especially in those times, to remember Your faithful love toward me, and how You long to walk me through the fire, carrying me safely through. In Your precious name I pray, Jesus, Amen!

     

When You Don't Speak the Same Love Language

     I'm going to guess that most couples speak their love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman teaches about five love languages—ways we demonstrate our love for our spouse. Some give their time, so the language they speak to show their love is quality time. Some are very touchy people—they show their love by touches, hugs, kisses, and sexual intimacy. Some love to give gifts—they shower their spouse with flowers, jewelry, shoes, golf clubs, candy or whatever he/she loves the most. Their language is giving gifts. Then we have those who like to do things for their spouse—they pick up the kids, vacuum the carpet, run to the store, fix the leaky faucet, or any number of ways to lend a helping hand. These are people who speak love in forms of service. Last, we have those who say the good stuff—they shower with compliments, offer praise, speak thankfulness and affirm through their words that they love you. 
     Since opposites attract, our primary love language is likely not going to match up with our spouse. While learning the language of your spouse is of value, what if they just don't? What if you long to be loved in the same way you speak love? Are you unloved if your spouse is trying to show their love by vacuuming for you, when you show yours by giving him back rubs and kisses? The answer is no, but it can unsettle us when their language doesn't match our needs.
     I'm going to be honest here—my husband and I don't speak the same love language. He shows his love by spending time with me and doing things for me. I show my love for him by my words. I'm comfortable with words and don't mind speaking what's on my heart. He's comfortable sitting beside me and enjoying time spent together. Do I long for flowery speech and mushy notes? Of course I do, and sometimes he does fall onto my planet of affirming words. But on days when they don't come, what then? Did he forget how to love me?
     I think it's important to look for love in any healthy form that it's offered. It's wise to know the different ways love is expressed and accept that sometimes, it's spoken in ways we don't use to express it ourselves. I could choose to feel unloved when I am not hearing things like, "you are my world—the best thing that ever happened to me." Or, "you're the most beautiful woman." And if I make that choice, I'm missing the love he is speaking into the countless hours he puts aside to spend with me—eating a meal out, riding around running errands, asking me to accompany him on business trips, or even just hitting our local gym together. And I could also miss his love when he works long hours to provide for me to have a really comfortable life.
     Are there ways your spouse is speaking love to you that you may be missing? Are you guilty of feeling unloved or unappreciated because they speak love differently than you? I know I have been guilty of that. Rather than feeling discouraged and disappointed, start looking for ways your spouse is trying to demonstrate their love to you. I think you may be surprised at how much love they are showing that you may be missing because you are waiting for something more familiar—your language. If your spouse learns your language and speaks it fluently, that's great. But if they do not, don't assume you aren't valued and loved. God creates some of us with the gift of words, some affectionate, and some with hearts that want to please with their helping hand. He makes us all different—we will always be a blend of two very different people learning to love in our own unique way. 
     Satan wants us to be unsatisfied with our spouse. He wants marriages to fail. He wants us to feel unloved and unhappy with what we have. He loves discontentment—it's where he begins to dismantle our marriages. He speaks lies promising something much better—much more pleasing than your own spouse. Don't listen to him. Instead, love your spouse selflessly. Don't expect them to meet your every need—only God can do that. And often when we love the way God loves us, without expectations, we will receive love in ways that will humble us, encourage us, and open our eyes to the gift we've been given in our spouse. My prayer today, is that you find you've been loved all along, even when the language is foreign to you. 

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 (ESV)
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:34 (ESV)
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19 (ESV)
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, it can be easy to complain and feel unloved when our spouse doesn't speak our love language. Help us rather than feel disappointed and unloved, to look for ways they may be speaking love differently than we do. And always help me remember the perfect love You have for me. In Your name I pray, Jesus, Amen!

It Probably Won't Go the Way I Planned

     Let me introduce you to the "high school me". I'll grow up and travel the world. I'll be a travel agent and marry later, after I get my business established. I'll be a mom- 3 or 4 kids. I'll be successful, forever thin, and live a happy, carefree life. I'll find time to spend with God, and manage to make an impact on other's lives. I'll stay healthy. I'll marry a perfect guy. Blah, blah, blah- how unrealistic I was.
     Goals are good, and I encourage them in others- specifically my children and myself. But while it's true that goals are good, and having a future vision important, it's also true that things often don't go as we planned. I'm living proof of this statement, because I'll now introduce you to "grown up me". I did graduate with a bachelor's degree- in social work/sociology. I am not a travel agent, but I sure like to travel. I am blessed to have two children after the loss of two pregnancies. I didn't foresee those losses, and they sure were painful. I am usually in need of losing ten pounds- sometimes more. There have been times when I didn't feel close to God, usually because I allowed too much extra stuff to crowd Him out. And I did marry a great guy- he's perfect for me, but we've had our struggles. One of the biggest unplanned life events we faced together, was infidelity. That wasn't supposed to be on my agenda- but it was. 
     The truth is, we usually have detours- life experiences that we never expected to be a part of our story. We wouldn't ever choose these painful parts of our story, but oftentimes, we need them. I know I do. Had I lived that high school version of myself, I wouldn't be where I am today! I wouldn't have experienced God's love, grace and mercy to the extend that I have, and frankly, that would be a loss. Losing pregnancies made me appreciate my children. Losing my husband, made me appreciate a restored marriage. Losing weight would also be cool, but hey, you can't have it all;)
     How we handle our detours is crucial in our spiritual walk with our Father. We may not have planned those detours, but He knew they would be a part of our journey. He equips us to handle them. He gives us what He can handle, not what we can handle on our own. We are supposed to learn things from our trials. We are supposed to grow. We should learn more about who He is. And our goal should be to become more like Jesus- humble, compassionate, loving, forgiving and kind. Sometimes we may become shocked and alarmed at the way our story goes, and struggle to understand the "why". When we stay locked in that place, we won't experience the growth God wants for us through those bends in the road. We won't know Him better, and we won't be more like Him.
     If you're walking through a detour right now, wondering why, try to shift your focus. Instead, think of ways God will use this detour to point others to Him. Allow His strength to be witnessed in your own walk, so that others may desire to know the Source of that strength. Don't allow Satan to trip you up, blaming God for your hardships. While God doesn't relish the pain you're experiencing, He does want to use it for His glory. Life often doesn't turn out the way we thought it would. But when it doesn't, our response to the detour has great power. May God help us to illuminate His light through the dark bends in the road, and that others may want to know Him, through our own walk through the valley. 

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit."- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. James 4:13-14 (ESV) 
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:3-4 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to allow You to handle the bumps in the road that feel too big for me. May I not become full of anxiety, wishing to quickly make it to safer ground, without really experiencing how You work in those detours. Help me to trust You when my world takes a painful spin, and to know You will bring me through. Help me be a living witness of what You have done for me. In Your name I pray, Jesus, Amen!

The Power of Kindness

She felt defeated- bruised, and down on herself. From being the kid that never did anything that pleased her parents, to feeling like a failure as a wife, her self-esteem was at an all-time low. She found respite in food and tacked on unwanted pounds. This only made her feel worse about herself in the end, even though food gave her short-lived comfort. It didn't matter that she was an excellent mom. It didn't matter that she had a high I.Q. Inside, she was hurting and desperately insecure. Her husband didn't help with his negativity and absence of compliments. Was she seen? Did anyone appreciate her? 

When this woman met Jesus through the pages of a self-help book, she clung to Him with a desperation she never experienced before. He promised her love without conditions. He said she was beautiful—a masterpiece of His making. He told her she had purpose—words she longed to hear. A purpose bigger than mopping the floors and washing clothes. And He taught her about fellowship, friendship, and worship. In time, she found a place that followed Jesus and biblical doctrine. She met people that instantly showed her love and acceptance. She began to flourish under their love, attention, and care. 

It started with God, yes, but it also started with appreciation from others. "Thank you for being so helpful", some would say. "You look beautiful today!" "You are such a blessing to our group, and we are so thankful to have you with us here." Little sentences that took minimal effort, yet they were building up a broken woman. This story is fictional, and in no way represents my own story. However, we all need to be mindful of those who need a word of encouragement. We often won't know the power our words of love will have in someone's life. Don't be stingy with building people up. If you think kind thoughts, just say them!
     

Having dealt with infidelity, I see, and experienced, how security is stripped away as a result of betrayal. I cannot tell you how healing it was to hear kind words from others, and how it bandaged hurtful thoughts placed in my head by none other than Satan. We see it said on social media often: "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about." This is such a true statement, and one we need to not only "like", but put into practice. We are given an opportunity countless times a day, to encourage someone. Say the good things you think. Give a hug. Speak to those who visit your place of worship, and make them feel special. Let people know they matter. And in doing so, we are being like Jesus- loving and living to bring joy, peace, and healing to others. So in case you wondered, and need to hear this today- you are treasured. You are beautiful. You are so loved. Never forget that, my friend.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 ESV
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 ESV
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14 ESV
Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. Psalm 63:3 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to really see others with eyes like Yours. Help us to build up one another, and show kindness and appreciation to everyone we meet. Thank You Father, for loving us despite our many failures and shortcomings, and for always making us feel welcome in Your presence. In Your precious name we pray, Amen!