I am Thomas

I sat beside his bed, holding the hand of my husband. Thirty years of doing life together conjured up so many rich memories. How could I go on without him, I wondered? We were a team—partners, lovers, and best friends. And now this. The doctors had given us news that literally shook us: stage 4 cancer. How are you supposed to handle that kind of news? 

In another home across the world a woman sat alone. Fearful and heartbroken, she faced the awful news that her husband had left her. The clothes and books and his well-worn recliner seemed to mock her in his absence. Was it over? Would things ever be okay again? How was she supposed to move forward alone? She missed him desperately, yet here she was—broken and filled with doubt.

Centuries earlier, a similar situation played out in a distant land. As he looked on, he saw his friend hanging on a cross. Broken and bloodied and dying. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He had placed all of his faith in this Man, and now He was dying—leaving them and shattering his hopes that Jesus was truly the long-awaited Messiah. Why had he been so foolish to believe, he thought to himself? Why did it have to end this way?

The disciples were gathered together and Jesus appeared to them after that awful day of His death. While Jesus had told them prior to His death that He would indeed die and raise from the dead, they didn't understand what He meant. So when they saw Him, their hope was restored—He really was the Messiah. He really was Who they had believed Him to be. This caused them great joy and I'm sure, a huge sense of relief. But Thomas wasn't there. He didn't get to see Him, and when he was told that Jesus had appeared to them, he refused to believe it.

Not only did Thomas refuse to believe the news, but he adamantly refused. In fact, these are his words:

"Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe (John 20:25, ESV)."  Never.

Eight days later, Jesus appeared to His disciples again, except this time Thomas was with them. How do you think Thomas felt when Jesus, knowing his heart and his words, asked him to place his finger in the nail print in his hand and to place his hand on His side and feel the place where the sword had pierced Him? I would imagine in that moment, Thomas felt an ocean full of regret and sorrow. He had doubted the Lord, and the Lord had called him out on it. Not in a mean way—but in a very direct way. And Jesus then told Thomas: "Do not disbelieve, but believe (John 20:27b, ESV)." 

It's so easy to point fingers at Thomas and judge him for his doubting heart. How could he have seen the works of the Lord and then doubt His identity? He had watched Him perform many miracles in the three years he spent with Him—healing people, feeding multitudes from only a few loaves and fish, raising people from the dead. How could he have been an eye-witness to these miraculous acts, only to doubt Him as He hung on the cross? It seems foolish, and yet I've been there, and maybe you have too.

The truth is, God heals cancer. God restores broken marriages. God gives the addict freedom from substance abuse. God makes a way when it seems there is none. God cures. God rescues. That's what He does, and I often easily forget that when I'm faced with situations that seem absolutely impossible. I doubt Him. I forget what He's done. I'm no different or better than Thomas.

But Thomas didn't stay a doubter. After he touched the wounds of Jesus, he appropriately addressed Him as "my Lord and my God." History records that later Thomas would lose his life as a martyr. He could have stayed in a place of disbelief, but he didn't—and I don't have to stay in a place of doubt either. Why? Because I've personally seen the hand of Jesus miraculously move in my own life. I've had a front row seat to witnessing the power of God transform people—transform my marriage, and transform lives. When I stop to consider these things I can release worry and doubt that grips my heart when I'm the one sitting by the hospital bed or facing an unfaithful spouse or a child addicted to drugs. Is it hard—yes. Does it hurt—absolutely. But I serve a God who is able.

Even though He is able, God doesn't always heal that stage 4 husband. He doesn't always bring back a wayward child or spouse. The addict will take the final dose that takes their life. Our world is broken, and sin has touched every part of it. But as believers, we don't have to live in a place of doubt. God will make all things new and restore His creation. He cares about us and wants us to hope in Him. He can do all things, and in His strength, so can we. And sometimes–somedays, that's enough to remove every bit of doubt from our hearts no matter what we are facing. May we, like Thomas remember—truly see Him, and then address Him as our Lord and our God. 

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind (James 1:6, ESV). 

Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him (Mark 11:23, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to be remembered by our faith, and not our doubts. May we be Christians that leave a legacy that says "they trusted in God, and lived it." In Your name we pray, Amen!

Comfortable Me

 It had been a long day full of working in the yard in the North Carolina heat. Our heat is heat you swim around in—thick, humid and dehydrating. My body finds extremes harder and harder as it ages and a whole day on my feet against the elements quickly saps my energy. But all along I kept pushing myself while I mentally reminded myself that at the end of it all, there would be rest and comfort.

Shedding my sweaty, dirty clothes, I stepped into a cool shower; washing away heat, dirt and weariness. Even just this simple process of getting clean began reviving my spirit. My favorite lounge clothes, a soft blanket on my couch, and a cold drink made me sigh with relief. This was what I had pictured all along, waiting for me at the end of the day. It's what pushed me through when I felt like quitting and putting off the work for another day.

Comfort has been a topic that has been popping up in my life lately. I've had devotionals focus on it and a sermon about it this past Sunday. It's made me pay attention to the topic and give it some extra thought. Comfort is something my body and spirit crave, yet when I think of Jesus' life here, He had very little of it. Jesus was often weary as people clamored for His attention and rest was not in abundance for Him. As far as personal comforts, we know He had little of that as well, knowing the work His Father sent Him to do was the focus of His life and ministry.

We never read that Jesus was grumpy and rude because He was not comfortable. He didn't act poorly because He was too hot, too hungry, or tired. But I do. I have a strong desire for comfort and when I lack it, I often become upset and cranky. I think one of the biggest reasons for this is because I'm selfish in nature—I feel entitled to feel comfortable and when I don't, I get irritable.

Comfort isn't wrong, it's just that my thoughts about it often get turned around a little. God doesn't dislike the fact that I appreciate my bed, a warm shower and a good meal—but I'm not actually entitled to those things; they are a blessing given to me from His gracious hand. My thoughts of comfort should instead be "others oriented". That means that my motivation for comfort should shift from myself, to the comfort of people around me.

I think of the many times people have ministered to my need for comfort when I've been upset or sad. They have sat with me, prayed with me, and brought things to me that would offer care and love. There is nothing like the hug from a loved one when we are faced with something emotionally challenging. A warm meal dropped off from a caring friend offers comfort that is hard to match. These are ways we can comfort others and in doing so, be more like Jesus.

The Holy Spirit has many names—one being Comforter. I cannot even begin to name the ways He has proven this to be true in my own life. His Word is full of comfort and encouragement and I've leaned heavily on Scripture to receive His comfort. Being able to pray to the Father gives us a great source of comfort and relief. The simple act of laying our burdens at His feet means laying aside troublesome thoughts and resting in His ability to handle them all for us.

While I'll forever be a gal here that longs for a soft blanket, a comfy spot to rest a while, and a warm fire on a cold night, I hope my thoughts of comfort shift. I hope that I'll realize how important it is to seek the comfort of others above my own. May I be a source of comfort to those around me that have real needs and desire someone to draw alongside and just offer them love and care–even if it costs me my own personal comfort to do so. If I stay in my place of comfort, I'll not be used in the capacity that God longs to use me. I must throw aside that soft blanket and cup of coffee and really see what's going on around me. Only when I put aside my own comforts will I be able to actively pursue meeting the needs of others. May God help me to be less selfish and more of a servant.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, ESV).

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18, ESV).

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help me shift my focus for personal comfort to meeting the needs of those who need comfort from me. Help me to follow Your example and offer love and encouragement to those who need it most. In Your name I pray, Amen!

Vine to Branches

 Endlessly scrolling through study after study, I realized I had completed most of what was available on the site I do much of my reading on. The same was true of the other app I use for my morning devotions. How many other people are there like this?—I thought to myself. This went on for a few months as God began to plant an idea in my heart. What if a team could be built that would offer short topical studies for both men and women—young and old. Single and married. A team that would share studies written from their hearts for the Lord that could be a blessing to others. What would it take to make this happen, and would God open the way for this idea to become a reality? How could I take an idea this large and make it actually happen? The key point here is this: it would take help from a small village, and God opening the doors in order for success.

A good friend of mine is great at this sort of thing. He is my go-to for all things "tech" related. I knew before I could even take another step that I needed to talk to him and get his take on whether this was a possibility or not. I definitely am incapable of building a website on my own, but I knew this particular friend's capabilities—he was my best chance at getting the ball rolling. By the end of our conversation I had an action list of 'to-do's' and felt greatly encouraged and excited. 

The biggest hurdle I faced was knowing I desperately needed writers—people willing to write for free;) Writing takes a lot of time and effort, and I knew it would take no less than 6-7 to get started. What  I love so much about V2B (our nickname) is how each person involved is a newbie. We are all forging into new territory and each one of these willing people that join our team are just precious people. They sure aren't in it for the money (although I get teased a lot about them wanting free swag) since we are currently a free website. And so each person involved writes from the heart, uploads and designs from the heart, posts from the heart and edits from the heart. 

God has opened doors for us in ways that make my heart so happy. We are still really small, but we have a team I am so proud of. We currently have 12 people that do writing for us, 3 that take care of social media, 2 that do editing and then the behind the scenes developer that takes care of our website. Without these wonderful humans our site would not be possible and I'm so thankful for them. 

Our name is taken from John 15:5 ("I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing"). Jesus is our Vine, and when we connect to Him, only then will we bear spiritual fruit. Being connected to our Vine is where true life is—He is the Source of it, and His Word is our instruction manual for living for Him. Studying, reading and praying are our pathways to knowing Him better and understanding His desire for us.

Our mission at Vine to Branches is simple:to provide material that will encourage and challenge people in their faith. We pray that even those who may not know the Lord may find answers here. We also pray that God will use our studies to be a source of hope to those who may experience similar trials our writers have faced. The message of the gospel and in living for Christ is the best news ever—we are privileged and honored to share it with the world. 

I don't share this information in any way as a desire for a pat on the back or any acknowledgment. What I do want to share is that God has a plan for each one of us, and when He lays things before us, what will we do with it? Sometimes the call seems bigger than we are capable of, but when it's from Him, He will supply the help needed to see it through. Our "following" is small, but our prayer is that as we pour out our work with open hands, that God will be pleased and use it for His glory—that God will take this small act on our part and allow the seed to fall on receptive ground. One day it may become clear that He is closing these doors, but until then, may we continue to labor together in this way, looking to Him for blessing and for guidance. 

*For any of you who do visit vinetobranches.com, we appreciate you. We are humbled by the sacrifice of your time, and for how you greatly encourage us. May God bless each one of you.

The Pull

 This week I was struck with how easily our flesh is drawn to the temporary pleasures the world has to offer. I felt sick and tired of the pull—the constant lure toward sin. How often I exchange a few moments of fun for something of real value. Something that could have a positive impact on my eternal reward. In almost 40 years of following Christ, I've never yet outgrown the desire for earthly pleasures and the lust of the flesh, and I suspect that won't change until I leave here, taking my final breath when I'll finally be set free.

But I'm not there yet, so I pray that God will touch my heart for His Presence and that I'll stop short-selling Jesus for lesser things. Somedays, I feel disgusted with my wasted days and months and seasons. I wish every moment had been in surrender to His will for me. But in reality, when compared to the length of time I've spent here, the moments of surrender have been few. I feel sin-sick and too often drawn to the things I shouldn't be drawn to.

I've been enjoying a new Gaither Vocal Band song this week titled 'Out of Bondage'. Here are a few lines from the song:

Out of bondage, into freedom

From the chains that held me fast,

Out of bondage, into freedom

From my prison free at last.

While this song is written about our freedom from our past and the sin that stood between us and God, I love to think of this in another way: the day my heart will forever be free from the pull toward this world and its shallow offerings. The day my chains will be forever loosed from my body—set free in my eternal home.

It's not that I don't love my life, and appreciate the blessings God has given me in so many areas. I love my husband and kids and family and friends. I love my church family, my dogs and my home. It's not that I long for death. But friends, some days I just feel weary of the brokenness here. The pain of wrong choices. The corruption of leaders. The indulgence in sin. The perversion of sex. The profane and idle chatter. The jealousy. The betrayal and lies. It's all so ugly and so heavy, and yet God stands with His arms wide open, beckoning me to fall into them and find peace and joy I could never find here. 

And so I run to Him, asking Him to forgive me—forgive us for this filth in our hearts. I hurt for Him as He looks on and sees it all—every single sin that cost Him His precious, only Son. And I wonder how we so easily forget. How can we be so callous? Why are we so drawn to things that hurt our Savior? I want to hunger for Him above all other persons or things. But I'll feel this away again more times than I care to admit. I'll feel pulled away from Him for something temporary. Something shallow. I'll waste more days and more opportunity. But today, I don't want to. I want my life to be spiritually rich and abundantly valuable in His eyes. 

"God, touch our hearts for You. May we hunger for You each day, weighing up our choices for where we pour our hearts. Help us to remember the tremendous cost of our sin, and may we truly have a desire to live a surrendered life. Forgive us for our constant desire for worldly offerings. And until the day I'm finally set free from the pull, hold me fast in Your loving arms."

Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age (Titus 2:12, ESV),

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:16, ESV).

Jesus and a Donkey

 Now when they drew near to Jerusalem and came to Bethphage, to the Mount of Olives, then Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, "Go into the village in front of you, and immediately you will find a donkey tied, and a colt with her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, you shall say, 'The Lord needs them,' and he will send them at once." This took place to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet saying, "Say to the daughter of Zion, 'Behold, your king is coming to you, humble, and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a beast of burden.'" The disciples went and did as Jesus had directed them. They brought the donkey and the colt and put on them their cloaks, and he sat on them. Most of the crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and other cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. And the crowds that went before him and that followed him were shouting, "Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest (Matthew 21:1-9, ESV)!"

The woman rubbed the back of her arm, bloody and bruised from a fall. Frustrated, she gave a look of disgust at the animal that refused to follow her commands. "They really are stubborn animals," she muttered under her breath. Returning the donkey to the barn where she had chosen to board her relatively new purchase, she openly chided him to the manager of the stable. With a smile on his face, and words of patience, he taught her a little about her boy, Carl.

"How long have you had him", he asked? "Just a few months", she replied. "He is as stubborn as their reputation, and doesn't seem to want me to ride him." The older gentlemen explained that it takes about a year of working with a donkey before they are ready to be ridden. And in that span of a year, they need time to get to know their owner so a relationship can be built in order for there to be success. "Donkeys are not so much stubborn as they have a strong sense of self-preservation," he added. Donkeys are great at reading people, and their training, though similar to horse training, can't be rushed. "Be patient with him, and give it time."

Friends—this information about donkeys was taken from research done on these animals. They are not a strange animal you can grab from a post, and hop on their back for a gentle ride down the road—but Jesus did just that. I've read this story often shared on Palm Sunday, never really taking in the miracle that happened on that donkey's back. And yet I have no doubt that it sensed Him as Creator. How privileged this donkey was to carry the King of kings on his back as He made His way into Jerusalem.

It's interesting that Jesus chose a lowly donkey—not a horse. That is, until we stop to think about His purpose. A horse is a creature that usually signifies war, while a donkey signifies peace. When we look at it that way, we know that Jesus is the only true Source of peace, so it was tremendously fitting that He came into the city on a donkey—not a horse. While the events ahead would look anything but peaceful, they were necessary to buy our own peace through His death and resurrection.

This story always touches my heart. At long last, people were praising Him as He entered the city, waving palm branches and laying their garments in the street. It almost seems He is finally embraced for the King He was, but this celebration lasted only one short week, and then the crowd would switch from praise to condemnation. This final ride held significance—it was fulfillment of Old Testament prophecy, and it led Him to a place He would ultimately sacrifice His life for mine. As we look ahead this weekend to all we celebrate in Him—His death and resurrection, may we remember even this simple miracle at the beginning of the story when He climbed on the back of an untrained donkey. 

All creation will worship the LORD. Even the mountains and the trees. He made all things for His glory. "For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands (Isaiah 55:12, ESV). When we consider this, perhaps this simply donkey recognized the One he bore, and was honored to carry his Creator on his humble back. Perhaps he held his head a little higher as he carried the King of kings into the great city of Jerusalem. Just as this donkey was created for this specific purpose, you also have a purpose—while it may not seem as majestic as carrying our King, may we all be obedient to whatever He calls us to.