I love a fresh, new notebook. The pages are perfect, crisp, and white. No mistakes, no wrinkled edges- just clean and neat. Writing on that first page is satisfying, but also frustrating if you start off the notebook with a mistake. If it's in pencil, the eraser can leave smudge marks. But I'm almost always writing with a pen or a fine-tip marker, so for me, it's just a mistake I can't hide. I can scribble over it, or I can use white-out- but there is no getting around the fact that I screwed up. Life is kind of like that too, isn't it?
As we finish off this year of 2019, our "notebooks" for the year are at the last pages. Riddled throughout them are mistakes- not one of us will come to the last page and think, "hey, no mistakes for me this year!" We all have some beautiful pages- neat and clean. Then we all have the pages that are messy- indicating failures, hurts, pain, frustrations, and loss. My pages will look different than yours. Yours will tell your own unique story, yet all of us fall short of perfection.
My year has been a healing year- a year of building and re-building. A story full of hurt, betrayal and pain that turned into hope, joy and restoration. The very first pages of my year had marks on it that are painful to recall. I spent the New Year celebrating with my kids while my husband was not with us at the time. I forged out into 2019 with a broken heart and faith that somehow, some way, God would open good doors for me. And He did. And just like my God, He did more than I could ever have hoped or imagined.
Less than a week into 2019, God miraculously reached in and restored my husband. I'll never tire of hearing that story, and if you haven't read it yet, you can find it in my earlier blog posts. In February, we renewed our wedding vows, and since then, we are falling into our new normal in life. We still face challenges, and if you're married, you will experience your own challenges. We have spent most of this year healing and growing and learning and trying to be intentional with one another. And as we end the year, we know Who has given us this gift of second chances- our amazing Heavenly Father.
I don't know your story, and I don't know how your year started or how it's ending. I'm not sure what challenges you've faced this year, but I would love to hear of challenges conquered by the power of God Almighty. I'm living proof that He still fights our battles, so whatever you may be up against that may seem too big, too scary, or too overwhelming- they simply aren't. Not when we realize Who fights for us, and understand that He is more powerful than any of our circumstances.
We are all about the turn the page to a fresh start. What will 2020 hold for us? None of us really know- but we can all count on days that will bring joy, and others that will break our hearts. All of us will have mistakes and smudge marks. We don't get to re-do our past, but we do have a whole new year ahead of us, providing opportunity to learn from our past mistakes, and hopefully avoid making the same ones in 2020. So as we embark on this New Year, think about who is in control of your pen or pencil- if you are, the mistakes will be abundant. But if God is allowed to be the Writer of your story, your notebook will look a lot better, a lot neater, and likely a lot different than you thought it would look. Allowing Him to be the Author of our story is the best way to set out in 2020! When we give Him the ultimate control, we are removing a lot of our stress, and setting ourselves up for fitting neatly into His purpose for us- and we don't want to miss that!
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19 (ESV)
You crown the year with your bounty; your wagon tracks overflow with abundance. Psalm 65:11 (ESV)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, as we face a New Year, we thank You for the blessings of 2019. Some of our days were hard days, but we know You walked them with us. Help us to learn from our past mistakes, and to avoid making the same ones in the New Year. Help us to allow You to be the Author of our life story, and to relinquish control to You. We look ahead to 2020, knowing You will walk us through every joy and every trial. We thank You for that, Father. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!
Silence. Do you get enough of it? I don't. The world is a really noisy place, and often I wish to just get away and enjoy some peace and quiet. I love the Christmas song Silent Night. The tune is breathtakingly beautiful- especially when sung by one of my favorite artists. But the words silent and calm rarely are a reality for me. And if you're like me, I'm sure you can relate.
I like to have fun. I like to be surrounded by people and talking and laughter. Nothing is wrong with that, but too much of it drowns out something I desperately need to hear- God's voice. We are a people full of our own problems- marriage problems, problems with our kids, problems with our jobs, problems with our health and financial problems. We want God to help us and often pray for His leading and guidance, then we surround ourselves with so much noise that we will never hear His answers. This is the first misstep toward finding real peace in our troubled situations. By avoiding silence, we inadvertently avoid His whispered words of wisdom and direction.
Christmas is my favorite time of year- there is no season that compares to all that Christmas offers us. It's a time of fellowship, family, food and festivities. It's shopping and baking and wrapping and decorating. It's rich in tradition, and warms even the coldest of heart. But here is another thing it is: busy! So how can we balance our holiday agenda while making sure we are listening to the One whom we are celebrating?
I've got quite an extensive prayer list right now. I have friends who are really sick. I have family members who are struggling. I have relatives that still need salvation. I'm praying for couples that are either in a battle for their marriage, or recovering from one (just like us). Our home is often faced with decisions that demand answers- some easier than others. I can pray, and pray, and pray, but if I'm not listening, then what's the point? I desperately need God- and I desperately long for clarity. I want to see my prayers answered, and I want to hear His voice as it leads me in the very best direction.
God won't force His way into our lives- He lets us choose. My choices hold a lot of eternal weight. Will I allow time for listening, or will I cram one more noisy activity into my day, ultimately crowding Him out? Sweet friends, Jesus is always listening. He craves interaction with us. I often don't understand how privileged I am to enjoy a two-way relationship with the God of the Universe. And so I encourage you, this busy, noisy Christmas season, to make time for a silent night. Listen for His voice- because missing it is such a loss. Missing it means we misstep, leading us down a path He never intended. I'm guilty of over-extending, and I need to be the first to own up to falling short of active listening- but I want to do better. I need to do better. And so I'm making myself a promise- a promise to allow more silence into this season, so I'll hear Him... really hear Him, when He speaks to me.
My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:1-5 (ESV)
Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. Psalm 25:4-5 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, I long for silence, amidst the noise of life. I need it, because without it, I'll never hear You. Help me to keep my heart and my ears open to Your Word and Your voice. May I take time this Christmas season for a little bit of silence- active silence that begs answers to my prayers. And in this silence, may my heart worship and praise You! In Your name, I pray Jesus, Amen!
The night seemed endless as pain racked her body. Sweat rolled down her face and her body arched with each contraction. It's hard to catch your breath, so much so, that you are given lessons on how to breathe correctly through these painful contractions. As they move closer and closer together, the pain intensifies. And then the moment comes- a baby is born! Relief and the worst of the pain are behind, and every mother wants to see one thing: the face and body of their little child. We count toes. We count fingers. We look at that tiny face- scrunched up with the sudden assault of light. We listen for their cry. As mothers, this long-awaited child is finally here, and we are so thankful to see this little one we anxiously looked forward to meeting.
Mary was no different- I'm sure of it. And when she looked at her newborn baby Jesus, she beheld perfection. No crying. No deformities. Ten fingers. Ten toes. While she was no different- this child surely was. And I have no doubt that she knew from the start that the news of the angels was truth- the Messiah had come, and passed through her very womb, into the world. In my mind's eye, I can see Him too. This perfect baby with no sin- no scars. And just like I did with my own little ones, I also look at His hands, feet, and face. Smooth and pink- healthy and whole. But it wouldn't last, and it wasn't because of His sin. No- it would be my own sin that would disfigure Him.
Yes, I rejoice at this precious Christ child that came to save us. He was Immanuel- God with us. His name was Jesus, meaning this : He shall save His people from their sins. But I also want to own up to my part in how His perfect body would be beaten and crushed- offered on that cross for the sins of the world... specifically, mine. Gone were the smooth cheeks that were once pink and healthy and whole. Hands and feet now bleeding from the nails that fastened Him to that cruel tree. A side that was once perfect, now split open from the sword of a malefactor. His sweet forehead- likely kissed often by the lips of Mary, punctured with thorns made into a crown- a crown that mocked His title: King of the Jews.
It's humbling to think of what happened to the body of this precious baby- the baby we celebrate at this season of Christmas. And yet His body only endured a fraction of the pain felt on that Cross. Most of His pain was a result of dealing with our sin in those hours that God shrouded His Son in darkness- a darkness that was protective of His suffering Son. It was in those hours that the punishment of my sin was taken upon the Son of God- and God made good on His promise to send us a Savior.
So while we often get caught up in thinking of that manger scene- the couple huddled up together in the likely shelter of a cave in nondescript Bethlehem, there is so much more to it than that. Yes-we think of this little baby, lying in the manger, wrapped in swaddling cloths. But I ask you to look even closer- look at these little hands and feet. Look at His tiny face. In this moment, the cost of our sin isn't visible on His little body- but it will be, and it had to be if I would ever be rescued. Oh God, I'm so thankful for this little baby- but I'm filled with an unspeakable gratitude for the promise that baby held. Thank You, Lord, for coming here with a willing heart to be our Jesus- the very One Who would save us from our sins. May we never forget that He's so much more than just a baby in a manger- He is the Savior of the world. Hallelujah- Christ came! Celebrate with me as we remember this child- our Messiah!
Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14 (ESV)
And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." Luke 2:12 (ESV)
And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn. Luke 2:7 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for the gift of Your perfect Son- sent into the world as a tiny baby. His purpose was huge- a purpose that would send Him to the cross and offer up His life in a terrible way. We can't understand the love You have for us- but we thank You for this precious gift of Your Son, and how You sent Him to rescue us from our sin. In Your precious name we pray, Jesus, Amen!
Christmastime is one of my favorites. It's generally a time of happiness and joy. There is nothing like a day that goes like this : Starbucks salted hot chocolate. 50% off everything in the store. The possibility of snow (a rarity around here). My favorite hoodie and jeans. Scents of the season. A fun dinner with family. A walk through McAdenville, NC (Christmas town USA). A Christmas movie on the couch. Gas logs burning. A beautifully lit tree casting a warm glow in my home. Laughter. Togetherness. These are days that bring great joy. But sometimes- some Christmas seasons don't go this way. In fact, happiness seems far removed and the season is more painful, than joyful.
Perhaps you've been there. I have. Everyone around you seems full of Christmas cheer- wrapped up in holiday magic, and inside, you're lonely, hollow and sad. Death does that. A broken marriage does that. Poor health, a financial crisis, and loss, all cast painful shadows on this time of celebration. Death has robbed me of holiday joy, but most recently, it was a broken marriage and a broken heart. Quite honestly, I could have skipped the whole season had I not had children in the home that deserved this special time of year.
As Christians, we always have something to celebrate and feel joyful about- our Savior and how He rescued us from our sin! We have a wonderful future to look forward to- free of pain, suffering, death and loss. But in this moment, right now, loss may be stealing your happiness. You might be missing him. You may be wishing for better health- sick of laying on the couch in pain. You may be longing for some extra money to buy gifts for the kids this year. You are tired from being a caretaker of an elderly parent. You may long for peace over the chaos of your current home situation. Some seasons seem unfair, as the world around you seems to be celebratory and jovial, but you aren't. You just can't find the energy to get into the Christmas season. Memories from years past cause a real sense of emptiness on this present season.
God understands your hurt, and He longs to comfort you. We can get caught up in wondering why God would have allowed this painful season in our life. We can get angry. But because of sin, we don't live in a perfect world. People die. People have affairs. Money is tight. Kids rebel and turn away. Addictions are a reality. This wasn't the way God wanted this world to be- His way was the in the Garden before Adam and Eve disobeyed God and our world fell into sin. But because of sin, He sent His only Perfect Son into this imperfect world, to die so that we can be set free. So while we live here, sin touches our world. We will experience pain and loss, but for those who know Him as Lord, we have the assurance that when we take our last breath, He will make good on His promise of redemption. This world, and the master of it, only has a little while to cause us pain and grief.
Some seasons- even Christmas seasons, won't bring us happiness or joy. The magic of the season won't make it to our hearts- but may we always allow the Hope of the season to warm us, even when the lights and traditions let us down. This hope says our hurting is temporary. One day, He will heal all hurts and mend all hearts. That tiny baby in the manger is the fulfillment of our hope. During this Christmas season, if you aren't feeling it this year because you're hurting, may you allow your heart to be warmed by His promises, and may you feel the comfort only He can give.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27 (ESV)
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)
You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away. And your life will be brighter than the noonday; its darkness will be like the morning. And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security. Job 11:16-18 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, we pray for comfort for those hurting this Christmas season. This world is broken from sin, and often causes us pain and suffering. We look forward, with anticipation, to that day when You will redeem us and forever remove death and sin from us. We thank You, Lord, for coming to redeem us- for giving Your life as a ransom for ours. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!
It was a cold, drizzly Sunday evening. His family was hungry and he didn't have enough money to feed them. Big, hollow, sad eyes looked at him. He was the family leader- the provider, and he had failed them all. Disability had robbed him of his ability to aptly provide, and they were in debt up to their ears. They had three kids- all in the growing up stage of life, where they seemed to be able to eat endless supplies of food. He hated to do it- but the church down the street may be able to help them.
He pulled in to the parking lot and saw the service was just getting underway. He kept his family in the car and made his way inside. Ashamed and nervous, he was approached by a couple of the men who obviously attended this place of worship. After stating his situation, he hated looking up into the eyes of these men who saw him possibly as a beggar- because that's what he felt like in this moment. The men asked him to take a seat and they stood a ways away from him. He could see them- dressed nice, apparently well-fed, and clean. What must they think of him? He once looked very much the same as they did- but life had taken a hard turn, and the rest was history.
The men seemed to make a decision and came his way. They told him they would follow him to the nearest grocery store and purchase groceries to feed his family. No questions. No statements about why he didn't have a job. No feelings of judgment- just a kindness he was desperate for. Why would they help a perfect stranger- one who hadn't darkened the door of a church for many years? What led them to open their pockets to people they had never met before, or knew nothing about? The man had an idea of the answer, though, which is why he had come to this place- God. His grandma had believed in Him, and she had lived a life of sacrifice. She helped anyone who seemed to need it, and some who didn't. And she had always told him this was what servants of Jesus should live like- because we should love like Jesus loved.
Jesus says that everyone is our neighbor. Each person we see with a need- our neighbor! Each person with a longing to be loved- our neighbor! Each person in need of forgiveness and grace- our neighbor! When we really understand this concept, it makes it a lot easier to let go of grudges. It makes it easier to open our pockets, our hearts, and our arms to those in need. And if we refuse, or allow someone else to do it in our place, we lose. We lose the chance to love like Jesus.
The holidays are here- a time of giving and loving. Sometimes, the ones around us with the greatest needs, are the ones we live with. They may need words of encouragement, white flags of surrender, an apology with no strings attached, a tank of gas, a hot meal, a listening ear, a warm hug, or the gift of forgiveness. And when we meet these needs, let's then look a little further out from our homes and families, and see what other needs we can meet. This is written to you, yes, but it's also for me. I can get so wrapped up in all the things I want, and miss the fact that I'm surrounded by people who have needs I could meet. Not all of them will require money- in fact, often, they just require me to notice and care. God help me to be more like You; to allow Your love to flow from me. There would be no greater blessing than to have it said of me- "she loved."
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 (ESV)
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; Romans 13:10a (ESV)
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Luke 6:35 (ESV)
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, there are so many around us in need. Some may need material things, but some may only need love. Help us, Lord, to love like You do- generously, unconditionally, intentionally and faithfully. May this season be a time to lay down any differences, and reach out to those we may be struggling with. May we be characterized as people with Your heart- willing to meet the needs of those around us, and even those who aren't. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!
