Clean Feet

     Nothing stings quite like betrayal- especially when it comes from your spouse. It's painful and unexpected, yet it happens more frequently than we'd like to think. Forgiving betrayal isn't easy, and takes working through a complicated process of emotions. Some never get past it, while others are able to with time. Jesus was no stranger to betrayal, and He understands our feelings and emotions as we face our own Judas's. The marked difference in how I face being betrayed, is my own sin throughout the process, and my failure to see myself as a Judas to Jesus in my own ways. 
     In my personal Bible reading, I've read a lot about Judas lately, as we walked through the story of Jesus being crucified and raising Himself back to life. I love how we can read scripture over and over again, and yet new things grab you each time. A particular scene caught my attention- one of Jesus washing His disciples feet in the Upper Room before the Passover Meal. He removed his garment and wrapped a towel around His waist, and got to work. He didn't exclude Peter- knowing Peter would deny Him those three times. And He didn't exclude Judas- even though He knew his betrayal would be the catalyst allowed to lead to His own death. And I have no doubt, had I been there, that He would have included me- dirty with my own sin.
     I wonder about Judas, and the thoughts following his betrayal of Jesus. I don't really believe that Judas didn't notice Jesus was different- special even. But I do believe that money mattered more to him in the end. Maybe he was tired of living a simple life without riches and the comforts of the world, as was the way of Jesus and His disciples. He wanted something more, and money seemed to be the answer for him. But I also wonder if he ever looked down at his feet, clean from the careful cleansing of the Master, and felt shame. Did his mind go back to Jesus washing his feet and being told that he wasn't clean, because Jesus knew his traitorous heart? And did he remember Jesus calling him "Friend", when he kissed Him to signify to those seeking to capture Him that He was the One they sought?
     The ways of Jesus should always be the pattern I follow in my own life. Judas deserved harsh treatment from Jesus in our way of thinking- but He asks us to reconsider our thirst for retaliation and justice and do something ultimately harder, though much better. As Christians, we are asked to mirror the grace of Jesus in our own life choices and behavior. While an extramarital affair is a painful situation, it would be worse to have my husband hatch up a plan that led to my death- and even in something of this magnitude, Jesus loved Judas. If you're walking through life with feelings of bitterness and anger over your own betrayal, allow me to suggest the freedom we find in letting it go. We may or may not get the remorse and apology we so desire, but we do have the ability, through Him, to forgive without them. We can see the heart of Jesus more clearly when we allow ourselves to picture washing our own betrayer's feet with love and compassion, knowing what they would do to us. Living like Jesus isn't easy, but to hear Him say of us in a coming day, "well done, My faithful servant" will make it worth all the sacrifice. How will you love your Judas? Are you willing to love them like Jesus? It will be hard, but it'll be rewarded in a coming day, and His reward is always worth it. 

But Jesus said to him, "Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?" Luke 22:48 ESV
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15 ESV
After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, "Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me." John 13:21 ESV
And when they heard it, they were glad and promised to give him money. And he sought an opportunity to betray him. Mark 14:11 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to love and forgive others like You do. When I am heartbroken and angry from the sting of betrayal, may I extend grace- even then. May I remember that on my best days, I'm still no better than a Judas- guilty and dirty from my own sin and failures. Father, help me to serve others like You taught us, by washing the feet of Your disciples. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen!