I am Thomas

I sat beside his bed, holding the hand of my husband. Thirty years of doing life together conjured up so many rich memories. How could I go on without him, I wondered? We were a team—partners, lovers, and best friends. And now this. The doctors had given us news that literally shook us: stage 4 cancer. How are you supposed to handle that kind of news? 

In another home across the world a woman sat alone. Fearful and heartbroken, she faced the awful news that her husband had left her. The clothes and books and his well-worn recliner seemed to mock her in his absence. Was it over? Would things ever be okay again? How was she supposed to move forward alone? She missed him desperately, yet here she was—broken and filled with doubt.

Centuries earlier, a similar situation played out in a distant land. As he looked on, he saw his friend hanging on a cross. Broken and bloodied and dying. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He had placed all of his faith in this Man, and now He was dying—leaving them and shattering his hopes that Jesus was truly the long-awaited Messiah. Why had he been so foolish to believe, he thought to himself? Why did it have to end this way?

The disciples were gathered together and Jesus appeared to them after that awful day of His death. While Jesus had told them prior to His death that He would indeed die and raise from the dead, they didn't understand what He meant. So when they saw Him, their hope was restored—He really was the Messiah. He really was Who they had believed Him to be. This caused them great joy and I'm sure, a huge sense of relief. But Thomas wasn't there. He didn't get to see Him, and when he was told that Jesus had appeared to them, he refused to believe it.

Not only did Thomas refuse to believe the news, but he adamantly refused. In fact, these are his words:

"Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe (John 20:25, ESV)."  Never.

Eight days later, Jesus appeared to His disciples again, except this time Thomas was with them. How do you think Thomas felt when Jesus, knowing his heart and his words, asked him to place his finger in the nail print in his hand and to place his hand on His side and feel the place where the sword had pierced Him? I would imagine in that moment, Thomas felt an ocean full of regret and sorrow. He had doubted the Lord, and the Lord had called him out on it. Not in a mean way—but in a very direct way. And Jesus then told Thomas: "Do not disbelieve, but believe (John 20:27b, ESV)." 

It's so easy to point fingers at Thomas and judge him for his doubting heart. How could he have seen the works of the Lord and then doubt His identity? He had watched Him perform many miracles in the three years he spent with Him—healing people, feeding multitudes from only a few loaves and fish, raising people from the dead. How could he have been an eye-witness to these miraculous acts, only to doubt Him as He hung on the cross? It seems foolish, and yet I've been there, and maybe you have too.

The truth is, God heals cancer. God restores broken marriages. God gives the addict freedom from substance abuse. God makes a way when it seems there is none. God cures. God rescues. That's what He does, and I often easily forget that when I'm faced with situations that seem absolutely impossible. I doubt Him. I forget what He's done. I'm no different or better than Thomas.

But Thomas didn't stay a doubter. After he touched the wounds of Jesus, he appropriately addressed Him as "my Lord and my God." History records that later Thomas would lose his life as a martyr. He could have stayed in a place of disbelief, but he didn't—and I don't have to stay in a place of doubt either. Why? Because I've personally seen the hand of Jesus miraculously move in my own life. I've had a front row seat to witnessing the power of God transform people—transform my marriage, and transform lives. When I stop to consider these things I can release worry and doubt that grips my heart when I'm the one sitting by the hospital bed or facing an unfaithful spouse or a child addicted to drugs. Is it hard—yes. Does it hurt—absolutely. But I serve a God who is able.

Even though He is able, God doesn't always heal that stage 4 husband. He doesn't always bring back a wayward child or spouse. The addict will take the final dose that takes their life. Our world is broken, and sin has touched every part of it. But as believers, we don't have to live in a place of doubt. God will make all things new and restore His creation. He cares about us and wants us to hope in Him. He can do all things, and in His strength, so can we. And sometimes–somedays, that's enough to remove every bit of doubt from our hearts no matter what we are facing. May we, like Thomas remember—truly see Him, and then address Him as our Lord and our God. 

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind (James 1:6, ESV). 

Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him (Mark 11:23, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to be remembered by our faith, and not our doubts. May we be Christians that leave a legacy that says "they trusted in God, and lived it." In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Pull

 This week I was struck with how easily our flesh is drawn to the temporary pleasures the world has to offer. I felt sick and tired of the pull—the constant lure toward sin. How often I exchange a few moments of fun for something of real value. Something that could have a positive impact on my eternal reward. In almost 40 years of following Christ, I've never yet outgrown the desire for earthly pleasures and the lust of the flesh, and I suspect that won't change until I leave here, taking my final breath when I'll finally be set free.

But I'm not there yet, so I pray that God will touch my heart for His Presence and that I'll stop short-selling Jesus for lesser things. Somedays, I feel disgusted with my wasted days and months and seasons. I wish every moment had been in surrender to His will for me. But in reality, when compared to the length of time I've spent here, the moments of surrender have been few. I feel sin-sick and too often drawn to the things I shouldn't be drawn to.

I've been enjoying a new Gaither Vocal Band song this week titled 'Out of Bondage'. Here are a few lines from the song:

Out of bondage, into freedom

From the chains that held me fast,

Out of bondage, into freedom

From my prison free at last.

While this song is written about our freedom from our past and the sin that stood between us and God, I love to think of this in another way: the day my heart will forever be free from the pull toward this world and its shallow offerings. The day my chains will be forever loosed from my body—set free in my eternal home.

It's not that I don't love my life, and appreciate the blessings God has given me in so many areas. I love my husband and kids and family and friends. I love my church family, my dogs and my home. It's not that I long for death. But friends, some days I just feel weary of the brokenness here. The pain of wrong choices. The corruption of leaders. The indulgence in sin. The perversion of sex. The profane and idle chatter. The jealousy. The betrayal and lies. It's all so ugly and so heavy, and yet God stands with His arms wide open, beckoning me to fall into them and find peace and joy I could never find here. 

And so I run to Him, asking Him to forgive me—forgive us for this filth in our hearts. I hurt for Him as He looks on and sees it all—every single sin that cost Him His precious, only Son. And I wonder how we so easily forget. How can we be so callous? Why are we so drawn to things that hurt our Savior? I want to hunger for Him above all other persons or things. But I'll feel this away again more times than I care to admit. I'll feel pulled away from Him for something temporary. Something shallow. I'll waste more days and more opportunity. But today, I don't want to. I want my life to be spiritually rich and abundantly valuable in His eyes. 

"God, touch our hearts for You. May we hunger for You each day, weighing up our choices for where we pour our hearts. Help us to remember the tremendous cost of our sin, and may we truly have a desire to live a surrendered life. Forgive us for our constant desire for worldly offerings. And until the day I'm finally set free from the pull, hold me fast in Your loving arms."

Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age (Titus 2:12, ESV),

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:16, ESV).

The Gift of Heaven

 Looking down, the view was heartbreaking. Sin was rampant in every corner of the world. Lust, hatred, violence, and deceit. Lying, betrayal, pride, and jealousy. Sinful behavior resulted in crime, broken families, broken marriages, and broken hearts. It would be tempting to look away, and never allow the planned rescue, but that was not a part of God's plan.

Can you imagine the anticipation of Heaven, all through the period of time before Christ came? They waited—longing for the day He would come in human form as the ransom needed to redeem our sin, setting us free. The thrill they must've felt as the angel appeared to Mary, knowing the time was drawing ever so close. The stories we love to read from Matthew and Luke's gospels were known to them long before it ever happened. The star? The shepherds? The wisemen? The angels? All of these were placed right where they were needed to usher in the best gift this world has ever been given—Emmanuel, God with us.

If you're anything like me, you're busy right now. You're baking, decorating, shopping and wrapping. The tree is up, and you're basking in the warm glow of lights and the wonderful scents of Christmas. Cinnamon, clove, pine, and orange scents, are some of my favorites of the season. Even with all the differences this season with Covid 19, there are still many of the traditions we are enjoying as we anticipate the big day. And yet our anticipation pales in comparison to that of Heaven, as the day of His birth finally came to pass. They were sending the best—God's own Son. And even though Heaven knew He was our Rescue, they also knew the rest of the story.

The truth is, we didn't deserve that Gift. We certainly didn't merit a rescue, yet Scripture tells us love was the reason for both the Gift, and the motivation for the rescue. As humans, we can't understand a love like this. Our love is always based on relationship, or mutuality. God's love is unlike any love—unconditional, and unprejudiced. We can't earn it, because our sin disqualifies us. So when you think of this Gift—Jesus, we can't help but feel unspeakable joy for the sacrifice God made to send His Son to be our Rescue. 

It's easy to get sucked into the traditions of the season, allowing them to get much of our attention. These traditions are not bad—but they aren't the reason for all we enjoy and anticipate at Christmastime. The reason is Christ, and the great sacrifice of Heaven as they sent Him not only to be born, but to die so that we might have hope! I love to give gifts, and I love to receive gifts. It's an exciting part of the season. But there is no gift like the One Heaven sent, when they sent the long-awaited Messiah. Receiving Christ was the best gift I have ever been given. It will not expire, or go out of style. It won't break or disappoint. It's eternally valuable, and indescribably wonderful. May each of us who have received Him, remember the price Heaven paid to send this Gift to us. As we do enjoy the season, and all it brings—may our primary focus be on the beautiful Gift of Heaven, and may we remember to be thankful for our Savior's willingness to come down for us. 

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14, ESV).

She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins (Matthew 1:21, ESV)." 

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman (Galatians 4:4, ESV)...

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for the incredible Gift of Jesus—sent to save us from our sins and provide the Rescue we desperately needed. You are so good to us, and we thank You for Your willingness to redeem us. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Neglecting to do What's Right

My personal readings lately have been convicting me of a biblical truth I have often neglected. In an easy to understand message, and yet often overlooked, James reminds us of this very simple truth: "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin (James 4:17, ESV)." It isn't complicated. It's not a mysterious statement. It's a very straight forward declaration, and one that I often fail to practice in my own life. Because it isn't about me not understanding, nearly as much as it is about my willingness to obey what I already know.

Can you relate? Have you been there many more times than you'd care to remember? You see, the Bible isn't an out-of-date, antiquated set of rules that were for another time and place-it's as relevant today as it was the day it was written. Yet we often want to argue away our sin, because it makes us vulnerable and accountable before a holy God. Misusing company time? Overspending because we covet? Wanting what isn't mine to take? Sex before marriage? "That's so anti-2020", many would say. Shouldn't we try out our partner before we commit to them for the rest of our lives? Shouldn't we make sure there is good chemistry between us? All it takes is a few simple biblical references, to know what God thinks about this vein of thinking-it's sin and knowing what His Word says, yet refusing to obey, makes us guilty and in need of repentance. 

We are a people who embrace a God of grace. A God who forgives us and showers us with His mercy is well within our comfort zone. We love this aspect of God, and prefer thinking of Him in light of His grace and mercy-who wouldn't? And while it really is a big part of who He is, there is much more to Him. By His grace my sin is washed away. His mercy and love moved Him to redeem me through His sacrifice on the cross. But I can't only be a taker of what Jesus has done without giving something back-unless my love is shallow and my heart lacks true gratitude. When it does, I will find myself living with a lack of obedience to the Word of God, and His Spirit within me. 

Here are some less obvious ways James 4:17 may be applied in my life. These may be a little more relatable. I see someone in need and turn my head, knowing someone else will come along to help. I stand in a group of gossipers, and instead of speaking up in defense of the person being discussed, I remain quiet and possibly even join in. I can't afford to buy a pair of expensive shoes, so I charge them because I refuse to deny myself this luxury. I make promises to pray for a struggling sister, then never give it another moment's thought. These are real life, every day examples of disobedience to this scripture passage, and with each, we would be guilty before God. It may not seem like a big deal, but each time we don't do what we know in our hearts is right-we sin. 

The best way to become more aware of this sin pattern, is to give greater thought to our actions. As we discipline ourselves to pay attention, a new habit will be established-a habit that reminds us to do what we know is right. Sometimes, this will require me to re-arrange my schedule. Sometimes, I may have to stop my online window shopping. At times, I may have to either walk away, or speak up-even though it makes me uncomfortable. Acting the way we know we should will require sacrifice. It won't usually be easy, and sometimes the cost will be greater than I anticipated. I can candidly say I wrestle in this area, and often come up short. I write this to my own heart, just as I share it with yours. May each of us put the truth of this verse deep into our hearts and our minds. Starting today, pay greater attention to the choices you make, and ask yourself if they line up with God's Word. When they don't, may God open our eyes and our hearts to making the choice to do what is right-even when we don't really want to. 

Dear Heavenly Father, touch our hearts with this truth written in James many years ago. My flesh wars against doing what is right so often, and I find myself giving in, resulting in sin and creating distance from You, Father. Help me to pay more attention to what I do, and to make the choice to do what is right-not what I want to do. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Real Me

Posturing is something we're all guilty of. We talk ourselves up when we first meet someone, and try to put our best self forward. Who would want to meet up with us a second time if we introduced ourselves and divulged all of our shortcomings right from the start? "Hey, I'm Ruth, and I tend to hold people to my standards, and have a problem with thinking I'm better than I really am." Or, "Hey there, I try to control people's behavior, by dropping comments that are meant to manipulate their response." If I presented myself in light of all my flaws, I would have zero friends, and no husband. And so we do our best to hide our imperfections, hoping to make connections with people before they know we have a laundry list of real issues. But spend a little time with someone and those flaws begin to come to the surface. We begin to notice that they have their own deficiencies, and we find that the real versions of each of you are different than when you first met.

Genuine relationships can't be built when authenticity isn't present. Have you ever struck up a friendship with someone, only to realize that they were completely different when you really got to know them? Sometimes these differences make your personalities clash, and you drift apart. And other times, you find that they become unexpected lifelong friends. But it takes spending time together, and communicating well, to uncover the real version of a person. This is because initial meetings generally lack a depth of sharing the deepest part of who we are-the good along with the bad.

I remember a friend that met a charming young man-attentive and attractive. He doted on her and she thought she struck gold. He took her to nice restaurants, bought her jewelry, and complimented her often. But the more time she spent with him, the more his hidden flaws began to surface. He was no longer charming, but rather manipulative and abusive. What she initially saw in him was a cover up for who he really was. She felt duped, embarrassed, and heartbroken. This is often the case in abusive relationships, as no one would sign up for that kind of treatment if they knew their true nature from the start. And while this is an extreme version of hiding our flaws, we all do it to an extent.

Nothing uncovers the "real me" quite like marriage. Living with someone 24/7 makes it impossible to hide all our flaws-even though we may be successful in hiding some of them. While we won't be able to hide our tendency for being messy, oversleeping, being habitually late, being a bad cook, or losing things, we will be able to hide more secretive things like a pornography addiction, overspending, lying or flirting with co-workers. But when our true identity isn't known to our spouse or our closest friends, we lack the support we desperately need to help us in our weaknesses. And so I need to let the ugly out, in vulnerability and honesty before those we allow to truly know us, because I need that accountability and the depth that comes from being loved despite our failures.

No matter how successful we may be in hiding from others, we know that God really knows us. There isn't anything we can hide from Him-He sees it all. He sees that I have a Pharisee's heart, an honesty that teeters on being brutal, and a tendency to pout when I don't get my way. I try my best to hide these behaviors-especially around new people, but in the deepest part of me, these sinful tendencies lurk. Yet I love how God doesn't write me off, and refuse to love me because of my shortcomings. He knows me intimately and completely, and yet He sees past all of the junk and offers me Himself-fully able to step into my faults and transform me. 

One thing that's become clear to me the older I get is how important it is to let people in and allow them to know the real me. I need relationships like that-deep, and honest in nature. People that will call me out when necessary, and also encourage me when I need it most. If I refuse to open up, I miss out on what's best for me, and my relationships will suffer from lack of authenticity. Hiding our flaws won't help us find victory over them. In my closest relationships, I need to be open to constructive criticism, accepting that there are areas of my true self which really do need a makeover. We often want to make positive changes in ourselves, yet lack the courage to face our worst character flaws, and then exercise discipline to make necessary changes.

What flaws are you hiding in your relationships? Whatever it is, your relationship cannot be genuine if you continue to conceal the areas you wrestle with the most. And when we really love someone, we should be willing to step in and be a help when they are vulnerable enough to share their shortcomings with us. It won't help to judge them and treat them with a condescending manner. Instead, what they likely would appreciate would be your ability to listen, encourage and share the love of Christ. The people who really know me somehow still choose to love me. Loving me in spite of my faults makes their love not only special, but real. Let's be authentic in our relationships, and trust that God has placed people in our lives that will help us be the best version of ourselves, calling us to live more like our Savior. And for those who do this for me, my heart is so grateful, and I thank God for those special relationships. Being genuine takes courage, but when we stand in the strength of our Lord, we have no reason to doubt or fear.

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good (Romans 12:9, ESV).

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working (James 5:16, ESV).

Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him (Proverbs 30:5, ESV).

God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship him in spirit and truth (John 4:24, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to be more authentic with others, bringing to light the things I try so hard to hide. May I find love and compassion when I am courageous enough to share the ugliest parts of me. I thank You, Father, that despite all of my flaws, You loved me so much that You died to redeem me. In Your name I pray, Amen!

 

God Hates

     The church has been remiss lately, to properly teach who God really is. We are comfortable with God's grace, speak easily of His love and forgiveness, and encourage others with His words of mercy and kindness. We easily share this message of Jesus with others, yet shy away from the rest of the story. But when we don't tell the whole story, the half we are comfortable with causes other to have a false idea of the gospel-one that fails to show their real need of redemption. The truth is, there are things that God hates, and when we understand that we all are guilty before Him, we can appreciate His purpose of coming to save us. 
     While it's true that God is love, we cannot soften the message of Jesus by forgetting the very things scripture tells us He hates. Solomon writes of seven things God hates in the book of Proverbs. God hates pride, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift at running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among others. (See Proverbs 6:16-19). And when each of us is honest, we are guilty before God. Churches are failing to proclaim this message, and instead, feed their flock messages that make them feel good about themselves.
This failure has led many to fall into the delusion of spiritual safety when in fact, their need has never been recognized.
     If we were good people, God would not have had to send His perfect, holy Son to the world to die for us. It would have been a waste and completely unnecessary, yet God never does anything without a clear purpose. Our generation enjoys sin, and I don't think this is a new concept. Sin gives us a season of pleasure, and we want to excuse our actions because we don't want to stop them. We also don't want to face the fact that our behavior requires reconciliation with God. If you attend a place of worship that is failing to teach the truth about the need for redemption from sin, the message being taught is inaccurate and deceptive. If you attend a place that preaches of sin and the consequence for it, including the good news of the Cross, thank God you are in a place sharing the whole message of Jesus.
     Our world wants a sin tolerant God. We make excuses for sinful behavior, claiming God's love for all, as a way to reconcile our choices. The truth is, God does love each person, regardless of our behavior. But the flip side is that God hates sin. Scripture is clear about what sin is, and how God feels about it. God's Word is not open to negotiation, and what was recorded in His Word is no less relevant today. Satan has been masterful in infiltrating the message and hearts of God's people with a disconnection from the true state of each of us before a Holy God. The sobering truth is that our failure to reconcile our sin before God results in an eternity in hell. It's a message that makes us squirm. It isn't a feel good message, but the gospel is.
     We can't share the truth about what God hates without remembering what He loves-He loves us! Our sin is only a temporary barrier when we allow God's grace to remove it from us through His sacrifice at Calvary. His blood cleanses us from our sin, removing the punishment for the sins He hates. God's love transforms us, bringing us out of spiritual darkness into light! And when we realize the depravity of our hearts, we have such a deeper appreciation of God's sacrifice! Yes, we need saving, but thank God He made a bridge through the blood of Jesus! Let's be responsible with sharing the whole message of Jesus-not shying away from the truth of our real need for rescue!

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23, ESV).
For we all must appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil (2 Corinthians 5:10, ESV).
Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out (Acts 3:19, ESV),
And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire (Revelation 20:15, ESV).

Dear heavenly Father, give us courage to share the whole message of Your gospel, and the need we have of redemption from sin. May we speak an accurate message filled with Your truth, and may we see it transform the lives of the lost. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     

Living Without Sin

     Today, my heart is heavy when I think of the world we live in. Depravity of every kind fills the hustle of modern day cities, as well as the quiet gentle slopes of the countryside. You can't turn on the news without hearing awful things. Nor could you scroll through social media without squirming with discomfort. School cafeterias buzz with plans-plans that involve sin. Hospital corridors are teeming with patients suffering the results of sin. Co-workers whisper of things that should never be said. Church walls witness sinners in desperate need of a Savior. And my own heart is a place that is in a constant battle against that 3-letter word-sin!
     Without sin, we would live in a perfect world. This is a world only experienced by two humans-Adam and Eve. A world unstained before the fall of mankind. A world fully connected with God. This world was pain-free. It was open and trusting and completely harmonious. No wars. No racism. No worry. No sickness. No sadness. No divorce. No sexual sin. No selfishness. No natural disasters. No hunger. No death! Nothing at all that could hurt us. It's a world that I honestly can't imagine, because I've never lived there. But I know that someday, I will.
     I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to heaven. But even though I am, I'm unable to grasp what it will be like to no longer be tempted. I can't begin to understand never feeling worry, pain, or sadness. I don't know a world that isn't self-absorbed. I worry about illness, or the loss of a loved one. I am in a constant war against aging and body image. I feel a craving for more-a craving that can't ever be fully satisfied because my list of wants continually grows. This is all we know, because we live after the fall of Adam and Eve. But I long for better.
     If I assigned a mental picture to entering heaven's gate, there would be a huge pile of burdens, too high to measure, laying just outside of it. I would walk through with such relief after such a weary journey through life. Oh, how I long to see the face of Jesus-for sure, but I also long to feel the absence of sin and how deeply it affects every aspect of my life. I long to finally be at complete peace with no worries or cares weighing heavily on my mind and my heart. I long to be holy. And while many days here make me smile with joy, the burden is always there, always lingering, and always beckoning me to succumb to the desires of my flesh. 
     You've been hurt by sin. We all have. None have been exempt from its wages. But if you belong to Christ, it's all just temporary. And while we can claim victory over temptation through His Spirit each day, it's a constant war. Some wars we will win, and some we will falter and fail. As our hearts are heavy with the devastating current events-we long for better days, yet we cannot experience complete peace and unity in a sin broken world. What our souls long for is heaven-a place where sin will be forever put away. And while I can change my own actions, the world will continue to disappoint me. Until I'm home in heaven, sin will be an issue for me. I'll wrestle with it until the day I die. But one day-one day soon, it'll lose its hold on me. I long for the release of its deadly grip, and I daydream of how wonderful it will to finally be free.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23 (ESV).
Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned- Romans 5:12 (ESV).
Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins Ecclesiastes 7:20 (ESV).
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me Psalm 51:10 (ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we long for the day sin will be forever removed from us. It hurts others, and it hurts me. Our sin had such a cost to Your Son, Jesus, and through that cost, He made a way for us to be free! We look forward to the day we will no longer struggle with it, and are at perfect rest in Your presence. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     
     

Forcing Penance Payment

     Exactly one month ago today, she had allowed a distraction to interfere with her driving. A crying baby in the backseat shifted her focus for one second- one little second, and it resulted in a costly car accident. Thankfully, she and the baby were both perfectly okay. However, their new family SUV had suffered moderate damage, putting them out a few thousand dollars and the inconvenience of being down a vehicle while it was being repaired. She gave an honest tear-filled apology, and a promise to pay more attention in the future. It was over- and it was the best she could do.
     As the weeks passed, he dropped comments. Things like "money wouldn't be as tight right now if you hadn't had that accident." And "be careful today and try to stay focused while you drive." He asked her for favors after reminding her of her mistake. He mentioned it around a co-worker, and he teased her about her driving skills. And every single action and word revealed a simple truth- he really hadn't forgiven her. Real forgiveness doesn't look like that. Because of her mistake, he was making her pay penance, and it really stunk. 
     I wish I could say this was rare in relationships, but it's not. We tease. We bring up the past. We remind. We lecture. And each of these behaviors shows an unwillingness to truly forgive. Forgiveness that requires penance isn't real. And it reveals something else about us too- pride in self and insecurity. Some do this on some pretty obvious levels, and some do it less conspicuously. I've been guilty myself, of using a moment of confession as an opportunity to get my way. And when we think of how a marriage is to resemble a picture of Jesus and His church (all Christians), it makes us shrink back in shame. Because penance is the very opposite of what Jesus requires from us. 
     My mind goes back to my childhood, and a trip we took to Mexico City. As a young girl, I was stunned to see an older man crawling on the street toward the huge, ornate church building. He had pulled up his pant legs to allow the hot, cement pavement to burn and shred away the skin on his knees. I remembering just staring, feeling sad and asking my parents why he was doing this. I learned he was paying "penance" for his sin- hoping with this painful sacrifice, that he would receive forgiveness. And yet 2,000 years ago, the price for our sin was put away through the painful, substitutionary action of our Savior- Jesus. He paid for our sins with His own body on the cross, so that we would never have to pay the price for them. His gospel says this: "no penance required" on our part. 
     In light of His gift to us, it's so wrong that we often feel others owe us for their past mistakes. We feel they should be indebted, and are tempted to bring up their past behavior. Friends- God never does this with His own. He doesn't withhold love from us, simply because we sin against Him. My own life should mirror this same principle, when faced with hurtful actions of others. If they apologize (and even if they don't), no penance is required from them. And nothing on my end should make them feel they owe me for what they did in the past. If you're flinging up dirt from the past- especially in your marriage, can I encourage you to stop? If you truly have forgiven them- an action mirroring God's grace to us, then leave it in the past. Don't bring it up. Even when you really want to. Because when we can give them freedom for their mistakes, we find that we are a little bit more like Jesus- and that's the real goal. 

For by grace you have been saved, through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:9 (ESV)
For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more." Hebrews 8:12 (ESV)
"I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Isaiah 43:25 (ESV)
"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Matthew 5:7 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, it's so easy for us to hold grudges, and to bring up the sins of others. We feel entitled because they have wronged us, and we remind them of the debt they owe us. Jesus- this behavior is completely unlike Yours. Help us to change our ways, and truly forgive and let it go. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Should it be Me?

     The older I get, the more opportunities I've witnessed where I felt led to speak up, and speak out. Whether it's been a boy-crazy young girl, a flirtatious married woman, an inappropriate relationship, harsh treatment of another, or spiritual bullying, I feel something needs to be said. And to be quite frank, sometimes "that person" doing something inappropriate has been me. I've sat on both sides of this fence, and neither is a pleasant place to be. However, as Christians, we have a responsibility to uphold our spiritual testimony and represent Him well. But before I am in a place to speak out, I must first look deep within my own heart before I can justify the calling to approach another. While there are many things that may qualify or disqualify me, I'd like to look at just four.
     Before it should be me, I'll need to first check myself. Am I in a spiritual position to speak up, or do I have my own issues to resolve first? Will I speak to someone about lust, and have a problem with overspending (revealing my own lust for "things")? While we all have our own personal wrestlings, we don't want to point out others without first addressing our own. If you feel led to approach another, pray for wisdom in your words, timing, and to reveal any hidden issues of your own heart. 
     The second area for qualifying you to speak up is in relationship. Before it should be my responsibility, I should first have a solid, loving, personal, connected relationship with this person. My words will never be taken to heart unless they first felt wholly loved by me. This means that we have one-on-one dialogue- learning and sharing life issues and triumphs with one another. This person would call me "friend" and not just a fellow believer. If the relationship is there, my words will not be heard as harsh judgment, but as loving instruction and advice to be considered. 
     No one will ever respond well to correctional words spoken without love. You should be known as one who loves them, and your words should come forth in a spirit of love. This means there is no trace of anger or malice in your tone or your motives- your words and intentions are purely coming from a heart of love. Why do kids generally respond well to a parents correction? Because they understand that correction is generated from a heart of love and concern. So if you don't have a mutually loving relationship with this person- you aren't the best one to speak up.
     Last- use scripture. If you feel they need rescued, make sure it's based on what God has to say, and not your own opinions. When there is an obvious battle between a person's behavior, and God's Word, it should be easy to point out. In the face of scripture, the initial response to retaliate may vanish in light of Who gives us our model for spiritual behavior. Find a few clear, concise scriptures that identify the root of what you're observing that led you to approach them. Do not skip the first three, and only use this qualification, or it won't be well received.
     I'll be the first to admit that it stinks to be approached by even a qualified person, and how often the first response I feel is to defend myself. I may list a number of reasons to try to excuse my behavior- that's my spirit of pride. And it also stinks to be the person who is qualified that has to speak out- it's a very difficult thing to do, and yet it's going to be necessary at times. If you see a sister or brother whom you feel needs addressed, please make sure you fit the qualifications to do so. Being a leader in title only will not qualify you. Please only approach someone if you can put a check mark beside the above qualifications. Sometimes- things have to be said. And sometimes- you won't be the best one to speak up. God, give us wisdom to know when it should fall on us, and please grant us grace when we are the recipients of correction. 

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1 (ESV)
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray. Proverbs 10:17 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, please open our eyes and our hearts to the spiritual needs of others. But Lord, help us to see our own shortcomings before we speak out. Help us to speak out of love and relationship, and not title and selfish motives. Give us courage when we are the one qualified to speak, and help others to hear us and know our words come from You. In Jesus name we pray, Amen!

Hester's Shame

     Perhaps one of my favorite required novels to study in high school, was the infamous Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. The tale is sordid and a real page turner- drawing in the reader for more. I fell in love with Hester Prynne, even as the fictional community in which she lived, destained her. After the assumed death of her husband, and a moment of vulnerability, she had an affair with Reverend Arthur Dimmesdale, resulting in her pregnancy, and birth of their daughter, Pearl. At this time in history, it was extremely uncommon for someone to have a child out of wedlock, and so her shame was a real, tangible thing.
     The basis of this novel is that Hester protects the Reverend from being exposed, and bears the sole public shame of her condition. As a result, she is forced to wear a scarlet "A" on her clothing, revealing her identity as an adulterer. Reverend Dimmesdale goes on with his life- free from the public humility of what he had done. He isn't exposed. He doesn't carry the burden. Hester does. I remember thinking, as a young teenager of how unfair this was- and it truly was unfair. This is a sin of two- not one, yet she paid the price alone.
     I don't think any of us are walking around with physical letters emblazoned on our chests, spilling the details of our sinful history. For this, I thank God! For if this were required, none of us would be without our own various letter jackets, full of multiple offenses. And yet, we often carry the burden of our past within our very souls. We refuse to release ourselves from the identity of our crimes, even though as Christians, God has erased them. And I think if we look a little deeper, we will see that we carry these burdens, because we often, in like manner, assign past offenses to others.
     Let's think a minute about some people that will give you further insight to what I mean : Michael Vick. Monica Lewinsky. Anthony Weiner. Tonya Harding. Paula Deen. Lindsay Lohan. Tiger Woods. Chris Brown. Lance Armstrong. Charlie Sheen. Now this is a short list, but if your mind went to doping, dog fighting, prejudice, sex scandals or violence, you understand the correlation between how we think of others- often, by the very thing they did wrong. These people may not wear badges displaying their dishonor, but we assign them anyway. Honestly, when I think of how I'm guilty of this, I'm ashamed.
     What unwelcome sins do you carry around from your own past? Do they negatively impact your identity? Do you believe them louder than what God says about you? We have this ugly part of our human tendency to hold onto our shame- and to remember the shame of others. This is not a habit easily tossed aside, and will take consistent effort to abolish from our mindset. The blood of Jesus has freed us from our sins- it washes us whiter than snow! Can I encourage you, dear sister or brother, to refuse to carry around the sins that Jesus already forgave? And can I also encourage you to release others from carrying their past burdens?
     I love how Christ Jesus has given us new life, and a new identity. Even sins we have committed as His children- they are covered by His blood! You are an heir to His heavenly kingdom. We are His sons and daughters. He has released us from the chains and bondage of sin- we are to live as free! Friends- let's eradicate the letters we choose to carry, and embrace His wonderful gift of grace. And let's not stop there- let's shower that same grace on others, refusing to see them as anything less than forgiven. We have kingdom work to do, and we can best do it when we believe we are who God says we are- forgiven!

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 (ESV)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we are so grateful for your gracious gift of forgiveness. You are so loving and kind, and we thank You for Your grace. And yet, Father, we often hold onto our sin- assigning it to our identity. Help us to abandon this unhealthy spiritual habit, and to fully embrace our identity as Your children- free and forgiven! In Your name, we pray, Amen!

I Love You More, Blue Pooh

     I don't have many relics saved from my childhood. I'm not a hoarder of things, and often like to purge and clean out my drawers and cabinets. In the span of fifty years, plenty has been thrown away- but not my Winnie-the-Pooh. I'll never forget a childhood trip to Disney World. In the eyes of a little girl, is there any place more magical? We rode rides, ate lots of food, waited in lines, and watched parades. And while it wasn't as commercialized then as it is today, it still held a pretty big thrill in the heart of my little girl world. I took away memories that would follow me through life, but I also took away a little Winnie-the-Pooh stuffed animal as a souvenir to remember my trip. 
     It was a typical hot Florida day and on the way home from the park we stopped for dinner. As much as I wished to take Pooh inside with me, my parents told me he had to stay in our van. And so I tucked him in the floorboard of the van, and headed in for dinner. When I came back to the van later, I scooped him up, only to see that one of my blue crayons had melted all over his leg and lower body. My eyes filled with tears, and there was no way I could return him to a pre-blue state. He was stained forever. 
     Maybe it's the fact that I always seem to root for the underdog. Maybe it's the fact that my heart hurts for the hurting. Maybe it's because I feel sadness for the outcast. Or maybe, I loved that Pooh extra, because I saw myself in him.  I connected with him, because I often felt unpopular and insecure, as a small child. No stuffed animal ever rivaled the love I had for that blue-stained bear. His flaws made him more special to me. He was always placed closest to me in bed, and always came along for adventures. In him, I could see the broken loved and accepted. That blue stain didn't disqualify him from my love- it made me love him more.
     Maybe that Pooh was preparing me for loving broken people, I'm not really sure. But maybe he also showed me a little picture of how God loves us. Stained. Broken. Messy. Different. Yet all of those things are the very reason we desperately need Jesus. Because in the heart of every human being is the intense craving to feel wanted, accepted and loved. People can only fulfill that craving to a degree, but only God can fill it perfectly. I'm just like that blue-stained Pooh, looking for love and acceptance, and only through the blood of Jesus do my stains wash away. And only through the cross can I be made clean again. Through His great gift of salvation, I can be accepted into God's family- secure in His love, and free from the sin that once stained me. 
     What blue stains do you carry around? Is it abuse? Betrayal? Are you dirty with sexual sin? Do you carry around guilt from your past? Whatever your "blue" is, it doesn't have to stay with you. You can be free. Not only unbelievers are carrying around stains- we often do, too. One of the most beautiful things in life is to see the broken made whole through the blood of Jesus. I'll forever be grateful for His love that removed my sin stains, and gave me exactly what I needed - His perfect love. If there's something you carry around with you still- something that eats at your soul, take it to the Cross. Jesus has great compassion for the hurting and the broken. And like I loved that crazy, blue Pooh, He loves us infinitely more. My little bear was stained forever, but thank God our sins can be forever wiped clean!

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 (ESV)
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:7 (ESV)
Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God. 2 Corinthians 7:1 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for washing away our stains and giving us freedom from the guilt of our sins. No one loves us like You- and in Your love, we find acceptance, joy, hope, peace and life. Thank You, Father, for loving us and for offering Your Son as a way to make us clean and whole. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Love Keeps No Record of Wrong

     Love is hard. Not new love- but real love that stands the test of time. New love is blind to faults and failures. It's hopeful and naive in nature. It sees the good and glosses over the bad. But real, honest to goodness love is not only hard- it's messy, and reveals a real need for Jesus in my loving. Chances are, you're familiar with keeping score in your relationships. Like me, you probably aren't proud of this weakness, it's just a sad reality that's a part of you.
     Scripture reminds us in the love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) what love is. Love is patient, kind, doesn't envy or boast. Love is not proud or envious, nor does it dishonor others. It's not self-seeking or easily angered. Love doesn't delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. It protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres, and never fails. And it keeps no record of wrongs. I don't know about you, but this one has been speaking to my soul the past few weeks, and convicting me of how often I fail to love without any record keeping.
     The older I get, the more my memory stinks. I've never been great at remembering names, dates in history, or when I'm due for my next colonoscopy (who wants to remember that?). But chances are pretty good that if you've wronged me in word or action, I remember. And while I will readily admit that, I'll also acknowledge how wrong this behavior is. There are life lessons to learn from being hurt or betrayed, wronged or assaulted. But when you love someone, you aren't to keep tabs. In fact, as far as love goes, they didn't happen- they're simply gone. Apart from the Holy Spirit, this would be an impossible request, until we take a really good look at how God loves us.
     God has every reason to not only remember my wrongs, but to disqualify me from His love and redemption because of them. Every sin I've ever committed has been against Him, and yet because of the blood of Jesus, He chooses to love me and forget my sin. This form of love is more powerful than I could ever understand, because there isn't a laundry list of great things about me that should earn His favor. Yet this is how God loves us, and He asks us to love others this same way. He doesn't command us to do something we aren't capable of doing, but He often asks us to do things that are impossible without His help. Like keeping no record of wrong. 
     What words and actions are you holding on to from the past that you believe justify you from loving the offender? Is it an insult from a friend? A rude comment about one of your children that was brought to your attention? Have you been betrayed by an affair? Have you been hurt by a parent? Has someone criticized your work or your appearance that left you angry and insecure? Friends- loving is hard business, and somedays it almost seems impossible to love without keeping score. Especially in marriage- yet it's crucial that we learn how to let go. Air out your differences and confess your faults and failures, and then you'll need to leave them in the past, relinquishing the right to bring them up again. Because this is what God has done for us. When we confess our sins before Him, He not only forgives us, but removes them from our record. They are erased- gone! 
     Somedays, following Jesus is easy- days when our cost of following is low. But other days, following Him is hard- especially in the realm of loving like He loves us. But the reward will always, always be worth it. So whatever records you're keeping against others, it's time to erase the slate. Release them. Free yourself- and simply love, knowing that by choosing to love when it's hard is a true reflection of His Spirit within you. A person who doesn't keep records from past wrongs is a breath of fresh air. Go ahead- be that person. It won't go unnoticed. It'll only make your light shine brighter. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

Dear heavenly Father, help me to let go of the past offenses of others against me. It goes against my flesh, but we know that when we love in this way- forgiving and forgetting, we reflect Your very nature within us. Thank You, Father, for erasing the record of my sin, bought by Your precious blood. In Your name we pray, Amen!

                                     

Temple Cleaning

          Has a mess ever made you want to pitch a fit? My mind only has to go back about 15 hours to the last time I felt that way. A well-exercised dog left while we did our "corona virus evening walk" (replacement exercise for our usual gym routine) ended in a terrible mess on my carpet. My daughter was first in the house and promptly came out to warn me and said, "Mom, you're gonna be mad." Honestly- I knew immediately what had happened, yet even that couldn't have prepared me for the state of my floors. Thank goodness for carpet shampooers and some elbow grease. Now- my house isn't quite a temple, but it's our place to enjoy and relax. I like things clean and neat, but I also love that dog! 
     I've been thinking lately of Jesus when He entered the temple and "threw a fit" (as a good southerner might say). Preceded by cursing a fig tree that didn't produce fruit in its off season, He enters the temple to see it being used for making a profit by some local merchants. This place, expected to uphold the holiness and dignity of a place of worship, had been turned into a "den of thieves". Jesus essentially walked in and said "this doesn't belong here", and began turning over the tables and casting out the money changers. 
     My body, according to 1 Corinthians 6:19, is a temple of the Holy Spirit. He lives in me, because I belong to Him. If Jesus was angry over things that don't belong in the temple, He has reason to be angry with me. What have I allowed in- and how does it make the Holy Spirit feel? The thing is- I can look like I have it all together on the outside, and be a total mess on the inside. While there was no way for the people to hide from the eyes of others, the filth allowed within the temple walls, it may not be so easy to see inside of me. While I may be able to fool others, God sees straight into my temple. 
     What mess could use a good cleaning inside of you? Maybe you struggle with pride, pornography, jealousy, or materialism. Maybe you have an addiction or have unconfessed sexual sin. Maybe you are unkind to others in your thoughts. Maybe you have a sharp tongue or a lack of grace toward others. There are so many dust bunnies tumbling around in our temples, and we need to clean them out daily. I don't say this to each of you without acknowledging my own need for some housecleaning. Pride and jealousy come easily for me- so easy, that I am too used to their presence, and don't often realize they are still tumbling around in my temple. And while they seem like regulars in my spirit, they are unwelcome invaders against the Spirit within me. 
     May I encourage you today to take a few minutes of your time to confess your mess to our Savior? Whatever things you've allowed to dirty up your temple- resolve to remove today. Will it just get dirty again? Likely- because we are human, we will need to practice our temple cleaning on the regular. Just as I would not be comfortable in my own home until that dog mess was removed and cleaned, the Holy Spirit doesn't like living in the mess I allow to junk up His temple. God- open my eyes to the messes I've grown accustomed to, and give me the courage and the help to do some temple cleaning. May my body, Your temple, be a place that glorifies You!

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 1 Corinthians 6:19 (ESV)
For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:20 (ESV)
Put to death what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5 (ESV)
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Romans 12:1 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, help us to keep our temples clean. May our hearts long to remove the things that are contrary to the Spirit within us. Only then can we enjoy complete fellowship with Your Son. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Freedom or Shackles

     I don't know about you, but I've been missing my freedom lately. With the restrictions this virus has placed upon us, I've never spent so many consecutive days at home. I love my home, and it's a place I enjoy spending time, but lately I feel a little like a prisoner inside these 4 walls. I'm thankful for the time with family, and I'm thankful for the efforts of our government to keep us safe. But these restrictions have opened my eyes to what it must feel like to live a life of restrictions- either by government structure, or even as a prisoner. 
     Freedom is something every Christian enjoys when the shackles of our sin are removed through the gift of salvation. Our sin is heavy, and wears us down. Just as we feel an emotional weight when we wish to be forgiven in one of our earthly relationships, the same is true before we are set free from the guilt of our sin. There is something so freeing when we hear those sweet words from someone we hurt : "I forgive you!" We immediately feel lighter and more at peace. This is the feeling we experience when we received forgiveness from our Savior- a burden too heavy for words was lifted as a result of His mercy and grace.
     It's hard to return to bondage after freedom. I can't imagine the feelings of those who for short time, escaped from the evil power of Nazi rule, only to be captured once again. For most, it would've meant certain death for them, but at best, a return to the worst imaginable life of bondage in a concentration camp. Their return to bondage wasn't voluntary- they would have never chosen to go back, yet we often willingly return to bondage when we misuse our freedom in Christ, leading us back to sin's shackles.
     Scripture reminds us of the danger of returning to the lifestyle of the lost after salvation. We are essentially putting on filthy garments and shackles, after being clean and set free. It makes no sense, this desire to return to this unhealthy spiritual state, and yet we often do. In my own life experience, I've seen it play out in my marriage. After enjoying decades of living a godly and fulfilling married life, sinful flesh took over and corrupted what was. While it may initially feel like freedom to forsake the "bondage" of marriage and pursue worldly passion, it is actually a return to Satan's control in our decisions and choices. The result of returning to a lifestyle of bondage to sin, will always hurt people. 
     While our freedom is feeling a little compromised at present, it's a good time to take stock of how we are doing spiritually. Are we living free, or are we returning to the shackles that once held us in the past? Freedom in Christ does not mean that we get to do what we want, but rather a freedom we experience through His gift of salvation, releasing us from Satan's captivity. It frees us from the ultimate price of sin- hell for eternity. While our earthly freedom may be subject to circumstances, government and yes- even a virus, our spiritual freedom can never be taken from us. And that, to me, is the best news ever!

For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. What the true proverb says has happened to them: "The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire." 2 Peter 2:20-22 (ESV) 

Dear heavenly Father, we thank You for the freedom You have given us, and acknowledge the great cost it was to You- the blood of Your Son, Jesus, shed for us on the cross of Calvary. Help us to remember the danger of returning to bondage after receiving Your precious gift of freedom. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Perfect Baby Jesus

     The night seemed endless as pain racked her body. Sweat rolled down her face and her body arched with each contraction. It's hard to catch your breath, so much so, that you are given lessons on how to breathe correctly through these painful contractions. As they move closer and closer together, the pain intensifies. And then the moment comes- a baby is born! Relief and the worst of the pain are behind, and every mother wants to see one thing: the face and body of their little child. We count toes. We count fingers. We look at that tiny face- scrunched up with the sudden assault of light. We listen for their cry. As mothers, this long-awaited child is finally here, and we are so thankful to see this little one we anxiously looked forward to meeting.
     Mary was no different- I'm sure of it. And when she looked at her newborn baby Jesus, she beheld perfection. No crying. No deformities. Ten fingers. Ten toes. While she was no different- this child surely was. And I have no doubt that she knew from the start that the news of the angels was truth- the Messiah had come, and passed through her very womb, into the world. In my mind's eye, I can see Him too. This perfect baby with no sin- no scars. And just like I did with my own little ones, I also look at His hands, feet, and face. Smooth and pink- healthy and whole. But it wouldn't last, and it wasn't because of His sin. No- it would be my own sin that would disfigure Him. 
     Yes, I rejoice at this precious Christ child that came to save us. He was Immanuel- God with us. His name was Jesus, meaning this : He shall save His people from their sins. But I also want to own up to my part in how His perfect body would be beaten and crushed- offered on that cross for the sins of the world... specifically, mine. Gone were the smooth cheeks that were once pink and healthy and whole. Hands and feet now bleeding from the nails that fastened Him to that cruel tree. A side that was once perfect, now split open from the sword of a malefactor. His sweet forehead- likely kissed often by the lips of Mary, punctured with thorns made into a crown- a crown that mocked His title: King of the Jews. 
     It's humbling to think of what happened to the body of this precious baby- the baby we celebrate at this season of Christmas. And yet His body only endured a fraction of the pain felt on that Cross. Most of His pain was a result of dealing with our sin in those hours that God shrouded His Son in darkness- a darkness that was protective of His suffering Son. It was in those hours that the punishment of my sin was taken upon the Son of God- and God made good on His promise to send us a Savior. 
     So while we often get caught up in thinking of that manger scene- the couple huddled up together in the likely shelter of a cave in nondescript Bethlehem, there is so much more to it than that.  Yes-we think of this little baby, lying in the manger, wrapped in swaddling cloths. But I ask you to look even closer- look at these little hands and feet. Look at His tiny face. In this moment, the cost of our sin isn't visible on His little body- but it will be, and it had to be if I would ever be rescued. Oh God, I'm so thankful for this little baby- but I'm filled with an unspeakable gratitude for the promise that baby held. Thank You, Lord, for coming here with a willing heart to be our Jesus- the very One Who would save us from our sins. May we never forget that He's so much more than just a baby in a manger- He is the Savior of the world. Hallelujah- Christ came! Celebrate with me as we remember this child- our Messiah!

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14 (ESV)
And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." Luke 2:12 (ESV)
And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn. Luke 2:7 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for the gift of Your perfect Son- sent into the world as a tiny baby. His purpose was huge- a purpose that would send Him to the cross and offer up His life in a terrible way. We can't understand the love You have for us- but we thank You for this precious gift of Your Son, and how You sent Him to rescue us from our sin. In Your precious name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

An Unmerry Christmas

     Christmastime is one of my favorites. It's generally a time of happiness and joy. There is nothing like a day that goes like this : Starbucks salted hot chocolate. 50% off everything in the store. The possibility of snow (a rarity around here). My favorite hoodie and jeans. Scents of the season. A fun dinner with family. A walk through McAdenville, NC (Christmas town USA). A Christmas movie on the couch. Gas logs burning. A beautifully lit tree casting a warm glow in my home. Laughter. Togetherness. These are days that bring great joy. But sometimes- some Christmas seasons don't go this way. In fact, happiness seems far removed and the season is more painful, than joyful.
     Perhaps you've been there. I have. Everyone around you seems full of Christmas cheer- wrapped up in holiday magic, and inside, you're lonely, hollow and sad. Death does that. A broken marriage does that. Poor health, a financial crisis, and loss, all cast painful shadows on this time of celebration. Death has robbed me of holiday joy, but most recently, it was a broken marriage and a broken heart. Quite honestly, I could have skipped the whole season had I not had children in the home that deserved this special time of year. 
     As Christians, we always have something to celebrate and feel joyful about- our Savior and how He rescued us from our sin! We have a wonderful future to look forward to- free of pain, suffering, death and loss. But in this moment, right now, loss may be stealing your happiness. You might be missing him. You may be wishing for better health- sick of laying on the couch in pain. You may be longing for some extra money to buy gifts for the kids this year. You are tired from being a caretaker of an elderly parent. You may long for peace over the chaos of your current home situation. Some seasons seem unfair, as the world around you seems to be celebratory and jovial, but you aren't. You just can't find the energy to get into the Christmas season. Memories from years past cause a real sense of emptiness on this present season. 
     God understands your hurt, and He longs to comfort you. We can get caught up in wondering why God would have allowed this painful season in our life. We can get angry. But because of sin, we don't live in a perfect world. People die. People have affairs. Money is tight. Kids rebel and turn away. Addictions are a reality. This wasn't the way God wanted this world to be- His way was the in the Garden before Adam and Eve disobeyed God and our world fell into sin. But because of sin, He sent His only Perfect Son into this imperfect world, to die so that we can be set free. So while we live here, sin touches our world. We will experience pain and loss, but for those who know Him as Lord, we have the assurance that when we take our last breath, He will make good on His promise of redemption. This world, and the master of it, only has a little while to cause us pain and grief. 
     Some seasons- even Christmas seasons, won't bring us happiness or joy. The magic of the season won't make it to our hearts- but may we always allow the Hope of the season to warm us, even when the lights and traditions let us down. This hope says our hurting is temporary. One day, He will heal all hurts and mend all hearts. That tiny baby in the manger is the fulfillment of our hope. During this Christmas season, if you aren't feeling it this year because you're hurting, may you allow your heart to be warmed by His promises, and may you feel the comfort only He can give. 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27 (ESV)
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)
You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away. And your life will be brighter than the noonday; its darkness will be like the morning. And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security. Job 11:16-18 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we pray for comfort for those hurting this Christmas season. This world is broken from sin, and often causes us pain and suffering. We look forward, with anticipation, to that day when You will redeem us and forever remove death and sin from us. We thank You, Lord, for coming to redeem us- for giving Your life as a ransom for ours. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!