Should it be Me?

     The older I get, the more opportunities I've witnessed where I felt led to speak up, and speak out. Whether it's been a boy-crazy young girl, a flirtatious married woman, an inappropriate relationship, harsh treatment of another, or spiritual bullying, I feel something needs to be said. And to be quite frank, sometimes "that person" doing something inappropriate has been me. I've sat on both sides of this fence, and neither is a pleasant place to be. However, as Christians, we have a responsibility to uphold our spiritual testimony and represent Him well. But before I am in a place to speak out, I must first look deep within my own heart before I can justify the calling to approach another. While there are many things that may qualify or disqualify me, I'd like to look at just four.
     Before it should be me, I'll need to first check myself. Am I in a spiritual position to speak up, or do I have my own issues to resolve first? Will I speak to someone about lust, and have a problem with overspending (revealing my own lust for "things")? While we all have our own personal wrestlings, we don't want to point out others without first addressing our own. If you feel led to approach another, pray for wisdom in your words, timing, and to reveal any hidden issues of your own heart. 
     The second area for qualifying you to speak up is in relationship. Before it should be my responsibility, I should first have a solid, loving, personal, connected relationship with this person. My words will never be taken to heart unless they first felt wholly loved by me. This means that we have one-on-one dialogue- learning and sharing life issues and triumphs with one another. This person would call me "friend" and not just a fellow believer. If the relationship is there, my words will not be heard as harsh judgment, but as loving instruction and advice to be considered. 
     No one will ever respond well to correctional words spoken without love. You should be known as one who loves them, and your words should come forth in a spirit of love. This means there is no trace of anger or malice in your tone or your motives- your words and intentions are purely coming from a heart of love. Why do kids generally respond well to a parents correction? Because they understand that correction is generated from a heart of love and concern. So if you don't have a mutually loving relationship with this person- you aren't the best one to speak up.
     Last- use scripture. If you feel they need rescued, make sure it's based on what God has to say, and not your own opinions. When there is an obvious battle between a person's behavior, and God's Word, it should be easy to point out. In the face of scripture, the initial response to retaliate may vanish in light of Who gives us our model for spiritual behavior. Find a few clear, concise scriptures that identify the root of what you're observing that led you to approach them. Do not skip the first three, and only use this qualification, or it won't be well received.
     I'll be the first to admit that it stinks to be approached by even a qualified person, and how often the first response I feel is to defend myself. I may list a number of reasons to try to excuse my behavior- that's my spirit of pride. And it also stinks to be the person who is qualified that has to speak out- it's a very difficult thing to do, and yet it's going to be necessary at times. If you see a sister or brother whom you feel needs addressed, please make sure you fit the qualifications to do so. Being a leader in title only will not qualify you. Please only approach someone if you can put a check mark beside the above qualifications. Sometimes- things have to be said. And sometimes- you won't be the best one to speak up. God, give us wisdom to know when it should fall on us, and please grant us grace when we are the recipients of correction. 

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1 (ESV)
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray. Proverbs 10:17 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, please open our eyes and our hearts to the spiritual needs of others. But Lord, help us to see our own shortcomings before we speak out. Help us to speak out of love and relationship, and not title and selfish motives. Give us courage when we are the one qualified to speak, and help others to hear us and know our words come from You. In Jesus name we pray, Amen!