New Mercies

 Maybe you have a special place where you love meeting with Jesus to talk and just spend time together. For me—it's our neighborhood gated boat ramp. It's generally empty during the day so it's the perfect place to be outdoors, enjoy His beautiful creation, and have a good visit. If people saw me, they would likely think I'm crazy because I love to talk out loud—it just feels more real that way for me. And sometimes I sing—also good I'm alone down there. But this week on one of our visits, I enjoyed the truth from the book of Lamentations. The book title itself sounds negative and oppressing—but there are some really beautiful truths we don't want to gloss over. Like this well-known one which touched my heart this week:

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV)."

This is a truth I know in theory from reading Scripture, but it often slips my mind as I rise another day, unsure or sometimes anxious at what may lie ahead for me. But as I strolled through our boat dock I saw the truth of it all around me—and in me. This is what I saw:

There was the sun—same as yesterday, giving light for us to see. And it'll be there tomorrow as well. I crave the light and He gives it faithfully each day.

I saw deer scurrying through the woods in search of a tender leaf or fleeing from the disruption from my intrusion into their world. This happens day after day, and there they were again—doing all things deer. There are new opportunities in this day—new adventures and new food choices. He provides for them because He cares for His creation.

I saw my favorite blue heron—Baby Blue is what I like to call her. She's in search of fish as she soars above the waters surface scanning for one to rise close enough to swoop it out of the lake. She's been there for months and I plan to see her again tomorrow. She's not worried today that she won't have food tomorrow. She's enjoying the hunt of today without anxiety or worry.

And there's me. The past is behind me and I've made plenty of mistakes for sure. There's no reason He should want to meet with me here in this place, or any place for that matter. But I know He craves this time with me and He won't hold yesterday against me—He beckons me to start fresh today with repentance and appreciation for the grace He liberally bestows on me. New opportunities are in this day and He faithfully provides for me in ways I often fail to notice or give thanks for. 

What kind of God does this for us—for me? What is it in Him that gives me a chance, day after day, to start fresh? It's His love for me—a love bigger than I can understand. These times spent with Him are precious and special and I think the most awesome part of it all is that He enjoys this time with me! He loves giving me new mercies every morning and His very character is one of faithfulness! My thoughts aren't deep or complicated this week, but I hope that they may encourage any who have not met with Him as much lately to make some time for a really good visit. May your hearts be warmed by His new mercies and His faithful love—they are such precious gifts and give us the opportunity to lay aside the burdens and mistakes of yesterday, and embrace this new day! 

An Accurate View of God

 Many people grow up with a warped view of God. He may be thought of as a huge etherial Creature that sits on a giant throne in some distant land in the sky. He's harsh, and ready to strike when you make a wrong move. He is impersonal and disinterested—unless you mess up. He makes rules that feel like punishment, and likes to hold back good things from us. He labels things as sinful that our nature naturally wants (sex outside of marriage, recreational drugs, excess alcohol, the love of money, etc)—depriving us. He's angry and menacing and watching with critical eyes. This view of God is completely wrong, and yet many people hold thoughts along these lines.

But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness (Psalm 86:15, ESV).

Other people fall on the other end of the spectrum and see God as a hip Friend in the sky. He loves us all (true) so much, that He will overlook our sin. He changes His mind about what His Word clearly says based on popular opinion of the present day. He's an "anything goes" kind of God who turns His face from sinful choices because He is our Friend and doesn't want to upset us or make waves. He's a God who takes every "good" person home to heaven when they die, no matter if they were a true believer or not. This is another completely false view of God that many hold as truth.

Worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness; tremble before him, all the earth (Psalm 96:9, ESV)!

The truth is, neither of these views is accurate. God is gracious and full of mercy, but He is also holy. God's holiness demands respect and reverence. God is also loving and kind, yet demands obedience, repentance from sin, and our whole hearts—a living sacrifice. He is fair and just and always in control. He isn't subject to change, which we should find refreshing and encouraging—we never have to wonder what He expects because He never changes. 

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8, ESV).

God is our Creator, and as such, He understands us perfectly. He knows what is bad for us and can cause us heartache and pain—that's why He asks us to keep our bodies pure. He doesn't hold things back from us to make us miserable; He asks us not to do certain things because they will damage us. God longs to have a relationship with each one of us, and yet He leaves our pursuit of Him as a choice we must make. He will pursue us, but He will never force us to choose Him. 

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me (Revelation 3:20, ESV).

Having an accurate view of God is important if we are to know Him and serve Him. The only way we can know Him is to come to Him through the Father. How is this possible? By putting our faith and trust in the gift of the cross of Calvary. There, Jesus died to put away sin forever, calling us to believe that He is the Son of God who died to rescue us from sin and hell, and rose on the third day, victorious over death. This truth is what we call 'salvation'—an act of acceptance in what Jesus accomplished for us on that cross. 

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16, ESV).

Once we come to intimately know Jesus as our Savior, our view of Him should change. The more we study the Bible, the more we learn about Him. The more we pray and spend time with Him, the more clearly we see and understand Him. We won't have a warped view—we will begin seeing the truth of who God is through the lens of time spent learning and communicating with Him. 

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path (Psalm 119:105, ESV).

God wants us to know Him—and He knows us better than anyone else ever could (and still loves us)! How we live and love as Christians has a loud voice. Our behavior reflects on our Savior. May we each live in such a way that the world has a clearer picture of who our God is, and that through us, they may have a desire to know Him better.

But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15, ESV),

Listen to Me!

     Do you remember how frustrating it was as a small child to feel unheard and ignored because you were "just a kid"? I had an aunt-a wonderful, special aunt, who no matter how young or insignificant I felt, always stopped to listen. I'll always remember my Aunt Carole that way-kind, compassionate, and an active listener. But I remember many times when I went unnoticed and unheard, and those times always got under my skin. As adults, we often ignore the words of others. People speak their hearts and we simply ignore them or choose not to listen and hear what they are saying. When we refuse to listen and understand, we often discourage and frustrate them.
     We know how prayer works. God hears the prayers of His people. He's always listening, and He always cares. If He does that for all of us, can we not listen to the words of others? Can we not acknowledge their words and reply with compassion? As an adult, one of my biggest pet peeves is not being heard. To be waved off without consideration always gets my dander up. Maybe you've also had situations where you weren't heard, and it hurt or frustrated you. Being heard doesn't mean that the other party agrees, but that they listened and gave real consideration to your thoughts or feelings.
     If you're married, you need to hear the words of your spouse. The old picture of the man grunting answers behind his morning newspaper is unhealthy. Conversation is necessary for connection-even in the mundane routines of life. You cannot have a deep relationship if you don't hear what your spouse is really saying. If you don't understand their thoughts-simply ask for clarification. The best ways to show you are listening is to give eye contact, repeat the information you are being told, and reply with feeling and knowledge regarding the words spoken to you. When you practice these three listening cues, your communication improves and you connect on a deeper level.
     If you're a parent, your child needs to know you hear them. The same three cues can be practiced with your kids. While you may not understand what's really being said, by listening and sharing dialogue, the chances are that by your interest in their words, understanding will follow. Your children need to know that you will not only listen to them, but you'll hear the feelings, ideas, and thoughts they are trying to convey. Giving your children your attention and a thoughtful reply will do a world of good in building your relationship with them. 
     If you are part of a church fellowship, those who worship with you need you to hear them. You cannot have a spirit of unity and connection if you don't hear your brothers and sisters. Again-believers won't always agree with one another, but the spirit of active and thoughtful listening should be a part of every relationship inside each fellowship. Be approachable. Be kind. Listen to the thoughts and ideas of others. By doing so, you validate each one of them and show the spirit of godliness. 
     In all of our relationships, we want to be heard. And in all of our relationships, we need to hear others. There hasn't been a time in my life when people have more to say, and there also hasn't been a time in my life where people refuse to give consideration and kindness to the words of others. People are daily accusing others of things that are untrue. We often refuse to listen to reason and make unnecessary comments. Hear, listen and love knowing that even though we may not come to an agreement, we cared enough to listen. I wish the world were full of Aunt Caroles, and may I learn myself to be a lot more like her. 

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear; slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19, ESV);
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice (Proverbs 12:15, ESV).
If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame (Proverbs 18:13, ESV).
Cease to hear instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge (Proverbs 19:27, ESV).
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion (Proverbs 18:2, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to really listen to others and not dismiss them without understanding. Your Word calls us fools when we do that, and so we humbly ask that You'll open our ears and our hearts. We thank You for always hearing us. It's in Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

Should it be Me?

     The older I get, the more opportunities I've witnessed where I felt led to speak up, and speak out. Whether it's been a boy-crazy young girl, a flirtatious married woman, an inappropriate relationship, harsh treatment of another, or spiritual bullying, I feel something needs to be said. And to be quite frank, sometimes "that person" doing something inappropriate has been me. I've sat on both sides of this fence, and neither is a pleasant place to be. However, as Christians, we have a responsibility to uphold our spiritual testimony and represent Him well. But before I am in a place to speak out, I must first look deep within my own heart before I can justify the calling to approach another. While there are many things that may qualify or disqualify me, I'd like to look at just four.
     Before it should be me, I'll need to first check myself. Am I in a spiritual position to speak up, or do I have my own issues to resolve first? Will I speak to someone about lust, and have a problem with overspending (revealing my own lust for "things")? While we all have our own personal wrestlings, we don't want to point out others without first addressing our own. If you feel led to approach another, pray for wisdom in your words, timing, and to reveal any hidden issues of your own heart. 
     The second area for qualifying you to speak up is in relationship. Before it should be my responsibility, I should first have a solid, loving, personal, connected relationship with this person. My words will never be taken to heart unless they first felt wholly loved by me. This means that we have one-on-one dialogue- learning and sharing life issues and triumphs with one another. This person would call me "friend" and not just a fellow believer. If the relationship is there, my words will not be heard as harsh judgment, but as loving instruction and advice to be considered. 
     No one will ever respond well to correctional words spoken without love. You should be known as one who loves them, and your words should come forth in a spirit of love. This means there is no trace of anger or malice in your tone or your motives- your words and intentions are purely coming from a heart of love. Why do kids generally respond well to a parents correction? Because they understand that correction is generated from a heart of love and concern. So if you don't have a mutually loving relationship with this person- you aren't the best one to speak up.
     Last- use scripture. If you feel they need rescued, make sure it's based on what God has to say, and not your own opinions. When there is an obvious battle between a person's behavior, and God's Word, it should be easy to point out. In the face of scripture, the initial response to retaliate may vanish in light of Who gives us our model for spiritual behavior. Find a few clear, concise scriptures that identify the root of what you're observing that led you to approach them. Do not skip the first three, and only use this qualification, or it won't be well received.
     I'll be the first to admit that it stinks to be approached by even a qualified person, and how often the first response I feel is to defend myself. I may list a number of reasons to try to excuse my behavior- that's my spirit of pride. And it also stinks to be the person who is qualified that has to speak out- it's a very difficult thing to do, and yet it's going to be necessary at times. If you see a sister or brother whom you feel needs addressed, please make sure you fit the qualifications to do so. Being a leader in title only will not qualify you. Please only approach someone if you can put a check mark beside the above qualifications. Sometimes- things have to be said. And sometimes- you won't be the best one to speak up. God, give us wisdom to know when it should fall on us, and please grant us grace when we are the recipients of correction. 

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1 (ESV)
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray. Proverbs 10:17 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, please open our eyes and our hearts to the spiritual needs of others. But Lord, help us to see our own shortcomings before we speak out. Help us to speak out of love and relationship, and not title and selfish motives. Give us courage when we are the one qualified to speak, and help others to hear us and know our words come from You. In Jesus name we pray, Amen!

Those Who Believe in Us

     I've been blessed in life with a large support group. These people believe in me, even when I doubt myself. They've encouraged me through the more difficult classes or exams in my years of education, prayed for me when I was ill, rallied me through child rearing, cheered for me during competition, and consoled me in my heartaches. These are people who love me, and they back up their words with action. I am thankful for this wonderful group of people, and oftentimes wonder what I would do without them. 

     Having people that believe in me is pretty powerful, but I am also blessed with people that believe in us- my marriage, specifically. Spending time with people who support my marriage, whether in good times or bad times, is so important. I've witnessed people who cheer for the individual, and not for the couple. They will encourage you to "do you", and that "we" aren't so much the focus. If you have people encouraging this way of thinking in you, I will boldly say this way of thinking is against scriptural teaching. 

     Marriage was God's idea. It is a covenant made before God, that isn't meant to be broken. While a marriage facing a sexual affair, like mine, breaks the covenant, God is always a God of restoration. He believes in mending broken things, just like He believes in saving sinners. People who supported our marriage in the darkest of times, were true warriors and champions of love. We were rich with many who prayed for us, visited us, encouraged us, and supported restoration, continuing to do the same today. They believed restoration would happen for us, not giving in to doubt.  

     While having people who believe in me is a gift I greatly appreciate, having people who believe in us is invaluable. Believing in us requires faith- faith that God would work a miracle in us. It required knowledge in One able to restore, transform, and heal. Without the hand of God intervening, I have no doubt we would have been finished. But I love how God gave us people early on in our marriage- people who understood marriage God's way. People who knew the Master Healer, and how He longed to heal the broken. People who refused to bash our spouse, even when they likely deserved it. People who knew, somehow, someway, that God would see us through. 

     If you are married, surround yourselves with people who believe in the two of you. When you do, you have a good support system in place if you ever find your marriage in a crisis. While we always have our Heavenly Father available to us in any situation, we know He gives us other believers to help hold us up through life's journey. I am thankful for each person God has placed in our lives for support and care. And I am thankful for those who not only believed in me, but believed in the truth that what God began in the two of us, He would bring to completion. Because of what they witnessed God do in their own lives, they knew that no situation was without hope- not even us! Thank you for never giving up on us, and believing in the beautiful reality of what we are enjoying in our present- a restored marriage! 

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 ESV
But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13 ESV
So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Romans 14:19 ESV
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, Hebrews 10:24 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for surrounding me with people who believe in my marriage. In the dark times, it must've seemed difficult to imagine a restored marriage for us, but there were those that continued to believe it would happen. Thank You for those who continued to remain hopeful, supporting us with encouragement,  because they knew the God we serve- A God who delights in restoration. In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen!

Dealing with Anger

     I'm not one to have a temper. I'm not a screamer or a slammer of doors. I like harmony and I really dislike conflict. I am known for being easy-going and gentle. But in the face of infidelity, anger is real. It isn't fair. The feelings of being put to the side include rejection, yes, but also anger. Infidelity holds many of the same emotions as death. But I think the worst truth we hear loudly is how this was chosen. And this truth leads to anger.
     It's understandable to be angry. The message we are getting from our spouse is beyond hurtful, and extremely selfish. How then, as christians, do we work through the feelings of anger without allowing it to fester and bring us down? Is being angry a sin? Does God understand our anger? Anger is an emotion, one that is part of the human emotional bank. God understands our feelings of anger, and was even angry Himself when He walked this earth. When Jesus entered the temple and saw it being used as a place to make money, He overthrew tables and displayed anger- RIGHTEOUS ANGER. He never sinned, we know that from scripture. His anger at the misuse of the temple was justified. Ephesians 4:26 says : Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, . We can see that anger isn't sinful, but what we do with it, and how we process it can lead to sin if we let it. 
     I confess, right here on this page, that I have sinned regarding the anger I feel over my marital situation. I have had some pretty bad thoughts, and while others may say that is understandable, God calls me to something harder, and ultimately better. Satan would love to use my anger to derail my usefulness to serving the Lord. I can let it be the emotion that gets the best of me, and jades my world with bitterness and self-pity. I can let it be the thought that pops in my head when I wake up, and go to bed at night. I could let this anger consume me and lead me down paths of unrighteousness. OR- I can choose to lay this ugly emotion down at the feet of Jesus, every single time it pops its ugly head up. I can acknowledge that I feel this way, and share those feelings with my Heavenly Father. I don't want to live bitter- I want to live a life of joy and peace. If I let anger be my controlling emotion, then joy will be stolen from me. 
     If you've walked this journey, or are currently walking it with me, you know the struggles associated with this powerful emotion. Satan longs to use anger to steal our peace. When we arm ourselves with God's Word, and His promises to us, we are better equipped to deal properly with anger, and protect ourselves from the havoc it can cause. What we are experiencing is terrible, and it can bring out the worst in us. We have had much taken from us, and anger will take even more- it will steal joy, contentment, and peace.  Make some healthy emotional decisions that will help you process these feelings, and find a trusted confidant to share them with. And as always, take it before our Father, and confess and leave it there. 

For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:20 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31 ESV
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 103:8 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me righteously work through my feelings of anger. Don't allow Satan to use it to derail me from Your good plans for me. I confess it is an emotion I am struggling with, and I pray that I will acknowledge it and lay it at Your feet. Restore to me the joy and peace You long for me to experience. Thank You for Your grace and mercy and love towards me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

The Pain of Rejection

     We all struggle with insecurities and things that make us feel like we come up short. We wish we were thinner, younger, smarter, more organized, more talented, better looking, and a handful of other things. We are usually our own worst critics. I can see my own flaws so easily, and fail to see the good qualities I possess. Couple that with rejection from your spouse, and you have a real recipe for feeling sad and insecure. 
     We've heard it since we were young if we grew up in church. We are told we are beautiful in God's eyes- a masterpiece. And while that sounds good to our ears, it doesn't seem to speak louder than being cast aside by our spouse. We get waylaid by the rejection, and wonder what is wrong with us. Why am I not good enough? Was it my extra pounds, double chin, or maybe my cellulite? Was I not interesting or exciting to be around? Maybe I was too silly or too serious. Whatever the case, we begin to doubt ourselves, and our qualities. When we listen to the voices of rejection, we fall into Satan's trap for us. It holds us captive in self pity and insecurity, and puts us in a form of bondage that God doesn't want for us. 
     The bottom line when it comes to marriage, is even if I tacked on 100 extra pounds, grew a second nose, or acquired a disfiguring injury, none of that disqualifies me from being chosen by my spouse. If I chose to talk less or laugh too loud, it may be annoying, but it isn't an excuse to look elsewhere. Marriage isn't based on our qualifications, but on a vow made before our Heavenly Father. When a married person forgets this, it is deeply disappointing to God, and is emotionally traumatic to their spouse. 
     If you're stuck in the hurt of feeling rejected, I am so sorry. I won't say I don't understand, because I do. I could sit beside you, shoulder to shoulder, and tell you "me too." It hurts to be told that you aren't wanted anymore. We touched on it earlier in this post, but we need to listen closer to God's voice. We really are a masterpiece! We really are fearfully and wonderfully made. Those are truths told to us by our Creator. He doesn't tell lies or change His mind about what He has said. These are statements that can set us free from our insecurities. God promises us, even in the middle of this painful journey, that better days are ahead for us. He DOES have good plans for us. He will never reject us, and His love will never fail. Let's cling to these words from God's Word: 

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14 ESV
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to live in truth rather than Satan's lies. Help me escape the trap of insecurity so I can live with purpose- Your purpose for me! Give healing and help in this dark part of my journey, and help me remember the hope of better days ahead. Thank you for Your faithful love, and for accepting all who come to You, and never rejecting us. It is a privilege to be accepted by You, Lord, and I thank You for not overlooking me, or setting me aside. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

A Little About My Story

     I am 48 years old, and have been married to my husband for 25 years. We are both christians, and have enjoyed a long life filled with happy times and family memories. We have 2 children- a son (22), and a daughter (20). As most every parent, I think the world of these two. They are smart, beautiful, kind, have a strong work ethic, and know the Lord as Savior. We raised our children to know about God's Word, and lived it in front of them. They were in church every Sunday, Wednesday evening, and other various times in the week. We poured ourselves into our church and community. We lived a comfortable life, surrounded by our families and friends. 
     Three years ago, we took in our ailing father-in-law. My husband's mother had a massive stroke more than a decade ago, and requires constant care. After years of caring for her, it took its toll on Papa. Nana had to go into an assisted living home, and Papa came to us. The first year, he did pretty well. But year two was a struggle. I took on a lot of Papa's care and it kept me busy. Satan loves busy people, because they get distracted.
     The final year of Papa's life was when my world exploded. In enters another woman engineered by Satan's design to bring my husband down. Busy people can make other people feel set aside. This was a recipe for disaster, and that is exactly what ensued. It isn't an excuse- infidelity never has a legitimate excuse, but being busy was the weak link that caused me not to notice what was happening until it was too late. Within two months after Papa's death, my husband walked out the door and planned to pursue a life that had little to do with me. I never saw it coming. We weren't "those kind of people." We both believed 100%, that marriage was a life long commitment. Never underestimate Satan- he truly does seek to kill and destroy and devour. That is exactly what happened to our marriage. 
     My kids are devastated. My life is forever changed. I didn't choose this to happen, but here I am. For over a year, he has been on and off with this other woman. For a brief 4 months, he returned home. Two days ago, he walked out again. You understand the feelings associated with this- and all of them will make their way into my future blog entries. But for today, I wanted to fill you in on my situation- at least the skeleton of my journey.
     For every bit of bad in this, there is also good. God has been faithful, just as He promises to be. He has revealed Himself in ways that humble me and bring me to tears. The day my husband left for the second time, two short days ago, I sat alone in the quiet of our home. The lines of an old hymn came to my mind, and with a tear-shaking voice, I sang it out loud to my Heavenly Father...

Have thine own way Lord
Have thine own way
Thou art the Potter I am the clay
Mold me and make me after Thy will
While I am waiting yielded and still.
(verse 1 - song by Jim Reeves)

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for Your faithfulness to me. When others aren't faithful to us it hurts, and so we thank You that You never turn from us. Help me, Lord to see the good when my heart hurts so badly, and to remember Your many blessings in my life. Forgive me for allowing my pain to distract me from Your purposes for me. Help me to look beyond my circumstances and see Your way and Your will. And may I follow You all the days of my life.
In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen!

Because of these afflictions...

          I am ordinary. I am not rich, famous, or unusually gifted. I am the typical christian wife, raising kids and running our home. There isn't really anything that would qualify me for a calling to write and share my thoughts, except for my husband's infidelity. So if you can relate to that experience, then we will understand each other just fine. I have many thoughts and feelings rumbling around in my mind and heart, and it is healing for me to share them. 
     I think of this verse found in 2 Corinthians :
for this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, ... (4:17 ESV)
Infidelity is an affliction, alright, and somedays it sure doesn't seem "light." It is painful and emotionally traumatic. Nothing I have ever faced in life felt as awful as the betrayal of my spouse of 25 years. So how can this affliction be considered "light?" But what if my marital trauma makes me more like Christ? What if it taught me how to show grace the way God lavishes it on us? What if, because of this trial, I can point others to the hope found in Jesus Christ? Would it be worth the pain?
     Sometimes, I have to step back, amid the tears and sorrow, and change my attitude towards my situation. I can look at this as a trial (because it is), OR I can choose to see it as an opportunity. These afflictions give me opportunity for spiritual growth. They connect me with others that are suffering in the same way and need an understanding friend. They bring me along the paths of others walking this journey without a Savior, giving opportunity to introduce the Source of my strength. These are things that are preparing me for an eternal weight of glory BEYOND ALL COMPARISON! I know that it hurts, I honestly do- I am in the thick of it as I write. But I will lay down these burdens at the feet of my Heavenly Father, and anxiously look forward to that eternal weight of glory! 
     Don't lose sight of the hope He offers us. Whether our marriage turns around for the better, or our spouse chooses to walk away, our hope remains. We find hope in our Savior, not in our marriages. Humans can mess up anything, but with Christ, there is always hope for restoration and redemption. The message I hope to relay to you in my blog posts is this: our journey is painful, and may seem unfair. But we have the opportunity to reach others, and use this for good. There is hope on the horizon for our hurting hearts. I pray that as we walk this journey together, we may feel His healing touch, and know that He will never leave us or forsake us. He is for us, and He is 100% invested in His children- we can count on Him to carry us through!