I have a confession to make, and I hope I don't cause any of you women readers to fall into the same obsession as me. I love Freebird boots, and can't seem to stop perusing their website, trying to choose my next pair. They are hand-made, and the sizes can be slightly off, so I read and read and read all the reviews in hopes of choosing the right size. I never buy them without some sort of promotional discount, but the best I usually get is 20% off. If they are discounted, the company won't accept returns or exchanges, so it's very important to choose precisely. There is an actual hashtag for #freebirdaddiction, and I guess I can say that resonates with me. And while choosing the perfect new pair of Freebirds has a cost investment, it won't ultimately change my life if I choose wrong.
Choices-we make them every day. Some are bigger and some are less consequential. I choose what to feed my family for dinner, I choose what to wear each day, and I choose where I need to go. All of these choices and decisions are pretty unimportant, and won't generally make a huge impact on my life. Then I find myself making bigger decisions. Where would I go to college? What do I want to do with my life? Should we buy a new car or a new house? Are we ready to be parents? Where does God want me to serve Him? These decisions are much more impactful, and need careful consideration when making a choice.
Life's biggest decision is the choice we make about Jesus Christ. Will we accept His free gift of salvation and allow Him to wash us clean of our sin and guilt, or will we ignore His gift and ultimately find ourselves eternally separated from God in a place of eternal punishment? Because this decision affects not only this life, but our eternal destiny, it's obviously the big one. And yet many people ignore His calling, and live a self-centered life, seeking pleasure and their own way. If you haven't yet made the decision to be a follower of Jesus, I urge you to choose Christ and accept His free gift today. This is the most urgent issue we face, and should be treated with seriousness and without hesitation.
But what's second in importance? What other decision has a huge impact on our life? I can't think of one more important than choosing a spouse. This choice should be given careful consideration, and should include a lot more than just physical attraction. Are you both on the same spiritual page? Do you have a similar desire to allow God to lead you in your lives together? Do you feel safe and secure with this person? Are there multiple red flags? Have you spent enough time together to really know one another? Do you share a future vision that you are mutually happy with? Do you both want a family? Are you committed to stay together, and learn from the things that make you so different?
Even after we make our choice, there will be issues that arise through the years. You'll disagree. You'll find certain habits annoying. Our spouse could become disabled or disfigured. They may lose their job or fall into periods of depression. They may gain weight or lose their hair. They'll get wrinkles, and wear their favorite shirt over and over again, even though you strongly dislike it. They'll leave clothes on the floor, and chew louder than you prefer. There will be a host of reasons why this person you chose so carefully, will occasionally drive you crazy. But here comes another very important choice-will you stay? Will you stay when life gets hard, and life changes each of you?
Marriage is such an important decision, because it's to last a lifetime. There shouldn't be an escape clause. This person is your person-flesh of your flesh. You have become essentially one when God joined the two of you together. So many people throw in the towel and walk away, only to be let down that the next person isn't perfect either. And so I want to encourage any who have not made this choice yet to choose well. Look past the exterior, and look deep at the heart. Is this a heart you trust and respect? Is this person someone you are excited to share your whole life with? Will this person be strength in your weak areas, and will you decide to love them-no matter what?
Our spouse will bring us joy and disappointment. And we will bring out those same feelings in our husband or wife. We aren't promised an easy road as God's children-but rather that we will be called to identify with suffering like Jesus did. That means sometimes life is hard, and bad things will happen. Looking at my own marriage, I am thankful for the choice I made. Some seasons have been difficult and heartbreaking, but most have been joy-filled. And the seasons that were hard, ultimately brought us closer together. Our journey is a story we have made and lived out together. God has revealed great purpose in our love story, and I am blessed each day to be living out His plans for us. So, weigh your decisions and seek His best for you. And just in case anyone wondered, my next pair of Freebirds are on the way!
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him (James 1:5, ESV).
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths (Proverbs 3:6, ESV).
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you (Psalm 32:8, ESV).
Dear Heavenly Father, may we seek Your way for us in our lives. We confess our need to bring our decisions before You, waiting on Your best for us, and yet we often choose without consulting Your Word. Help us to remember the value in seeking Your Word when we are faced with decisions-especially in choosing a spouse. We thank You for Your grace, mercy and wisdom. In Your name we pray, Amen!
**There are certain circumstances where it is biblical to leave. If your safety is in jeopardy, or the safety of your children, please seek shelter and help. There are other situations, such as infidelity, that may cause one to leave a marriage. But in most cases (not all, but most) , healing and restoration is possible.
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