The Importance of Belonging

 New social situations have always been difficult for me. You may not think that would be true if you know me, but I struggle with walking in a room of strangers and feeling comfortable. The older I've gotten, the more confident I feel in these situations, but I still wouldn't choose it. But when I was younger, the first day of college classes had my stomach in knots, and my breath a little short. There is no way to assess the layout of the classroom ahead of time-you simply open the door and then quickly decide where to sit and what to do. I also remember the new world of attending business networking events where I would walk in a restaurant, know almost no one, and have to find my way into the group. Why are these uncomfortable situations for most of us? It all comes down to our real need to belong and to feel accepted by others.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard someone say, "I don't care what people think about me"! And while it's an easy thing to say, it's almost impossible to fully believe. I don't honestly know anyone who would walk into a room full of strangers whispering and glancing their way, and not feel uncomfortable and upset. I remember studying Maslow's hierarchy of needs in sociology, a theory made up of the five essential human needs. And guess what made the list?-belonging! Belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group. This group can be made up of family, friends, co-workers, fellow believers or strangers. If you are human, you need to belong.

For many of us, it's a lifelong struggle. Even when you do find yourself in a group of familiar people, you question others thoughts of you. You wonder if shared glances and whispers are being made at your expense. You may feel inferior to certain members of your circle of friends or acquaintances. "So-and-so" makes more money than you. Someone else is more physically attractive. Everyone laughs at her jokes, but yours don't bring the same bang. Your co-worker may be the brains behind the project, making you feel inadequate. We come up with a million little reasons why we aren't quite accepted, and doubt our worth and ability to "belong" in this group. And when we do this, we feel less about ourselves than who God created us to be.

I think one of the most refreshing and amazing aspects of being in God's family, is how readily He accepts us. We don't deserve to be in this beautiful family, but through the blood of Jesus, we are made acceptable. In the darkest place of my life, the Son of God came into that space, seeking my rescue. If ever there was a time I wasn't acceptable, it was in the darkness of my sin, and yet the love of Christ was demonstrated in how He chose to meet me in that place. By His blood, I was made right before the Father. God's family is full of misfits-me being one of them. And yet when we come together, we belong because we have been adopted into the family.

When I think of how God sees me as His daughter, it should chase away my insecurities. Not in a way that makes me prideful, but in a humbling way, I can walk in the confidence of His love. Even if people choose to ignore me and not make me feel welcome. Even when I am surrounded by strangers. Because the truth is, I really don't belong here. I wasn't made to fit in with the world-I was made for heaven. Somedays this truth escapes me and I allow Satan to whisper words that cause me to feel anxious and unsure of myself. But I hope that the next time I feel a sense of anxiety in the presence of strangers or those who aren't welcoming, that I will remember who I really am. I pray I'll remember that I am a child of God, and in His Kingdom, I am always accepted. May each of us feel a real sense of belonging when we think of our identity in the best family of all-the family of God!

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God (John 1:12, ESV),

So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another (Romans 12:5, ESV).

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God (Ephesians 2:19, ESV),

Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God (Romans 15:7, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for accepting us. The cost was high-the very blood of Your Son, and we acknowledge this truth and offer our thanksgiving. Help us to remember when doubts and insecurities creep in, that we belong to Your family and nothing can change that. Help us to walk in Your love, and welcome others in the way you welcomed us. In Your name we pray, Amen!