Life's Second Biggest Decision

 I have a confession to make, and I hope I don't cause any of you women readers to fall into the same obsession as me. I love Freebird boots, and can't seem to stop perusing their website, trying to choose my next pair. They are hand-made, and the sizes can be slightly off, so I read and read and read all the reviews in hopes of choosing the right size. I never buy them without some sort of promotional discount, but the best I usually get is 20% off. If they are discounted, the company won't accept returns or exchanges, so it's very important to choose precisely. There is an actual hashtag for #freebirdaddiction, and I guess I can say that resonates with me. And while choosing the perfect new pair of Freebirds has a cost investment, it won't ultimately change my life if I choose wrong.

Choices-we make them every day. Some are bigger and some are less consequential. I choose what to feed my family for dinner, I choose what to wear each day, and I choose where I need to go. All of these choices and decisions are pretty unimportant, and won't generally make a huge impact on my life. Then I find myself making bigger decisions. Where would I go to college? What do I want to do with my life? Should we buy a new car or a new house? Are we ready to be parents? Where does God want me to serve Him? These decisions are much more impactful, and need careful consideration when making a choice. 

Life's biggest decision is the choice we make about Jesus Christ. Will we accept His free gift of salvation and allow Him to wash us clean of our sin and guilt, or will we ignore His gift and ultimately find ourselves eternally separated from God in a place of eternal punishment? Because this decision affects not only this life, but our eternal destiny, it's obviously the big one. And yet many people ignore His calling, and live a self-centered life, seeking pleasure and their own way. If you haven't yet made the decision to be a follower of Jesus, I urge you to choose Christ and accept His free gift today. This is the most urgent issue we face, and should be treated with seriousness and without hesitation. 

But what's second in importance? What other decision has a huge impact on our life? I can't think of one more important than choosing a spouse. This choice should be given careful consideration, and should include a lot more than just physical attraction. Are you both on the same spiritual page? Do you have a similar desire to allow God to lead you in your lives together? Do you feel safe and secure with this person? Are there multiple red flags? Have you spent enough time together to really know one another? Do you share a future vision that you are mutually happy with? Do you both want a family? Are you committed to stay together, and learn from the things that make you so different? 

Even after we make our choice, there will be issues that arise through the years. You'll disagree. You'll find certain habits annoying. Our spouse could become disabled or disfigured. They may lose their job or fall into periods of depression. They may gain weight or lose their hair. They'll get wrinkles, and wear their favorite shirt over and over again, even though you strongly dislike it. They'll leave clothes on the floor, and chew louder than you prefer. There will be a host of reasons why this person you chose so carefully, will occasionally drive you crazy. But here comes another very important choice-will you stay? Will you stay when life gets hard, and life changes each of you? 

Marriage is such an important decision, because it's to last a lifetime. There shouldn't be an escape clause. This person is your person-flesh of your flesh. You have become essentially one when God joined the two of you together. So many people throw in the towel and walk away, only to be let down that the next person isn't perfect either. And so I want to encourage any who have not made this choice yet to choose well. Look past the exterior, and look deep at the heart. Is this a heart you trust and respect? Is this person someone you are excited to share your whole life with? Will this person be strength in your weak areas, and will you decide to love them-no matter what?

Our spouse will bring us joy and disappointment. And we will bring out those same feelings in our husband or wife. We aren't promised an easy road as God's children-but rather that we will be called to identify with suffering like Jesus did. That means sometimes life is hard, and bad things will happen. Looking at my own marriage, I am thankful for the choice I made. Some seasons have been difficult and heartbreaking, but most have been joy-filled. And the seasons that were hard, ultimately brought us closer together. Our journey is a story we have made and lived out together. God has revealed great purpose in our love story, and I am blessed each day to be living out His plans for us. So, weigh your decisions and seek His best for you. And just in case anyone wondered, my next pair of Freebirds are on the way! 

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him (James 1:5, ESV).

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths (Proverbs 3:6, ESV).

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you (Psalm 32:8, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, may we seek Your way for us in our lives. We confess our need to bring our decisions before You, waiting on Your best for us, and yet we often choose without consulting Your Word. Help us to remember the value in seeking Your Word when we are faced with decisions-especially in choosing a spouse. We thank You for Your grace, mercy and wisdom. In Your name we pray, Amen!

**There are certain circumstances where it is biblical to leave. If your safety is in jeopardy, or the safety of your children, please seek shelter and help. There are other situations, such as infidelity, that may cause one to leave a marriage. But in most cases (not all, but most) , healing and restoration is possible.

Freedom or Shackles

     I don't know about you, but I've been missing my freedom lately. With the restrictions this virus has placed upon us, I've never spent so many consecutive days at home. I love my home, and it's a place I enjoy spending time, but lately I feel a little like a prisoner inside these 4 walls. I'm thankful for the time with family, and I'm thankful for the efforts of our government to keep us safe. But these restrictions have opened my eyes to what it must feel like to live a life of restrictions- either by government structure, or even as a prisoner. 
     Freedom is something every Christian enjoys when the shackles of our sin are removed through the gift of salvation. Our sin is heavy, and wears us down. Just as we feel an emotional weight when we wish to be forgiven in one of our earthly relationships, the same is true before we are set free from the guilt of our sin. There is something so freeing when we hear those sweet words from someone we hurt : "I forgive you!" We immediately feel lighter and more at peace. This is the feeling we experience when we received forgiveness from our Savior- a burden too heavy for words was lifted as a result of His mercy and grace.
     It's hard to return to bondage after freedom. I can't imagine the feelings of those who for short time, escaped from the evil power of Nazi rule, only to be captured once again. For most, it would've meant certain death for them, but at best, a return to the worst imaginable life of bondage in a concentration camp. Their return to bondage wasn't voluntary- they would have never chosen to go back, yet we often willingly return to bondage when we misuse our freedom in Christ, leading us back to sin's shackles.
     Scripture reminds us of the danger of returning to the lifestyle of the lost after salvation. We are essentially putting on filthy garments and shackles, after being clean and set free. It makes no sense, this desire to return to this unhealthy spiritual state, and yet we often do. In my own life experience, I've seen it play out in my marriage. After enjoying decades of living a godly and fulfilling married life, sinful flesh took over and corrupted what was. While it may initially feel like freedom to forsake the "bondage" of marriage and pursue worldly passion, it is actually a return to Satan's control in our decisions and choices. The result of returning to a lifestyle of bondage to sin, will always hurt people. 
     While our freedom is feeling a little compromised at present, it's a good time to take stock of how we are doing spiritually. Are we living free, or are we returning to the shackles that once held us in the past? Freedom in Christ does not mean that we get to do what we want, but rather a freedom we experience through His gift of salvation, releasing us from Satan's captivity. It frees us from the ultimate price of sin- hell for eternity. While our earthly freedom may be subject to circumstances, government and yes- even a virus, our spiritual freedom can never be taken from us. And that, to me, is the best news ever!

For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. What the true proverb says has happened to them: "The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire." 2 Peter 2:20-22 (ESV) 

Dear heavenly Father, we thank You for the freedom You have given us, and acknowledge the great cost it was to You- the blood of Your Son, Jesus, shed for us on the cross of Calvary. Help us to remember the danger of returning to bondage after receiving Your precious gift of freedom. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Silent Night

     Silence. Do you get enough of it? I don't. The world is a really noisy place, and often I wish to just get away and enjoy some peace and quiet. I love the Christmas song Silent Night. The tune is breathtakingly beautiful- especially when sung by one of my favorite artists. But the words silent and calm rarely are a reality for me. And if you're like me, I'm sure you can relate.
     I like to have fun. I like to be surrounded by people and talking and laughter. Nothing is wrong with that, but too much of it drowns out something I desperately need to hear- God's voice. We are a people full of our own problems- marriage problems, problems with our kids, problems with our jobs, problems with our health and financial problems. We want God to help us and often pray for His leading and guidance, then we surround ourselves with so much noise that we will never hear His answers. This is the first misstep toward finding real peace in our troubled situations. By avoiding silence, we inadvertently avoid His whispered words of wisdom and direction. 
     Christmas is my favorite time of year- there is no season that compares to all that Christmas offers us. It's a time of fellowship, family, food and festivities. It's shopping and baking and wrapping and decorating. It's rich in tradition, and warms even the coldest of heart. But here is another thing it is: busy! So how can we balance our holiday agenda while making sure we are listening to the One whom we are celebrating? 
     I've got quite an extensive prayer list right now. I have friends who are really sick. I have family members who are struggling. I have relatives that still need salvation. I'm praying for couples that are either in a battle for their marriage, or recovering from one (just like us). Our home is often faced with decisions that demand answers- some easier than others. I can pray, and pray, and pray, but if I'm not listening, then what's the point? I desperately need God- and I desperately long for clarity. I want to see my prayers answered, and I want to hear His voice as it leads me in the very best direction. 
     God won't force His way into our lives- He lets us choose. My choices hold a lot of eternal weight. Will I allow time for listening, or will I cram one more noisy activity into my day, ultimately crowding Him out? Sweet friends, Jesus is always listening. He craves interaction with us. I often don't understand how privileged I am to enjoy a two-way relationship with the God of the Universe. And so I encourage you, this busy, noisy Christmas season, to make time for a silent night. Listen for His voice- because missing it is such a loss. Missing it means we misstep, leading us down a path He never intended. I'm guilty of over-extending, and I need to be the first to own up to falling short of active listening- but I want to do better. I need to do better. And so I'm making myself a promise- a promise to allow more silence into this season, so I'll hear Him... really hear Him, when He speaks to me. 

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:1-5 (ESV)
Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. Psalm 25:4-5 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, I long for silence, amidst the noise of life. I need it, because without it, I'll never hear You. Help me to keep my heart and my ears open to Your Word and Your voice. May I take time this Christmas season for a little bit of silence- active silence that begs answers to my prayers. And in this silence, may my heart worship and praise You! In Your name, I pray Jesus, Amen!

     

If it Didn't Happen for You

     My broken marriage was restored earlier this year, and I can tell you this- it wasn't my doing. I've had people ask me what I did, that would maybe help their own situation. I can't say why it happened for me, or that I am more qualified to receive this amazing gift than any other person. Frankly speaking, it wasn't owed to me just because I prayed for it, even though I longed for it in the depths of my soul. Because the bottom line is this- I can want something all day long, but if God isn't in it, and if hearts aren't changed on both sides, it likely won't happen.

     In my case, I wanted restoration. I prayed for it almost without ceasing. I was willing to work for it, and make necessary sacrifices. I was willing to go to marriage counseling and work through the tough issues that drove us apart. I could wish and work for it all day long, but if my husband had not opened his own heart to the calling and convicting of God, it wouldn't have happened for us. 

     We are only responsible for our own choices, and sometimes that truth can unsettle us. Had my husband chosen to ignore God's voice, we would probably be in the middle of a painful divorce. What choices are your loved ones making that you'd love to influence, or change? You may wish for a child to find victory over a drug addiction. You may wish for your spouse to stop being physically abusive. You may wish you could say just the right thing to lead your brother away from a life of alcoholism. Your son may be battling pornography, and you feel helpless. Your spouse may be lying in the arms of another man, leaving you heartbroken and lonely. These are choices that are being played out right before our eyes, causing deep pain and despair. And yet they are their choices- outside of our own control. We can plead, wish, and pray; but we can't make their choices for them. 

     I have spoken to some dear friends who have waited decades for their wayward spouses. My heart hurts for them. They wish for reconciliation too, but they are only one half of the broken marriage. We can pray for God to work in the lives and hearts of our estranged spouse, hopefully bringing them back, but they must open their own heart to His voice. Nothing I did on my own is responsible for my restoration story. I don't have any hidden secrets I could share that would make you say, "Ahh.. that's what it is!" I don't hold the key to success for a restored marriage. I honestly don't deserve the grace and mercy God has poured into my life and marriage, and yet that didn't stop Him. All I can tell you is this- God did it! He worked a miracle for us, and He can work one in your situation as well. Your child, your husband, your wife, your brother, your mom, your best friend- all can be reached by Him. No one is too far from His reach, no matter how bad it looks today! 

     If you're still waiting, know that He knows how hard the waiting is, and He cares so much about your situation. If you gave up, His heart hurt along with yours. You are only responsible for the choices you make- and sometimes the ones we love the most will make bad choices that will change the course of our lives forever. You are not responsible for their unwillingness to listen to God's voice. But you are responsible for your own choices- are you choosing well? My own marriage wasn't restored because I'm special, or God loves me more. It simply happened because both of us listened to what God had to say about it, and because of this, He is mending what our sin broke- because that's what God does!

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Psalm 51:12 ESV
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24 ESV
"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1 ESV
"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for the gift of restoration. I pray that others who are not given this opportunity, and are hurting today, will feel Your comfort and peace. Heal broken hearts, Lord, and turn back the ears of those who have wandered far from Your voice. In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen!

     

Living With Regrets?

     Regrets- things I wish I had never done or said, yet they remain unchangeable in nature leaving me with bad memories. From lies, to friend choices, to spending habits, to perms in just the front of my hair in high school (not even kidding); the list is pretty extensive in reality. Some of these regrets are easily forgettable, and some change the course of our lives. Maybe you understand the bigger regrets in painful ways- things like unsaid apologies, a loss of time spent with a parent who has passed away, a poor example of behavior in front of your children, substance abuse, or even infidelity. These are regrets that can cause deep pain and psychological issues, yet we can't undo what we've done. When I look behind me, I see a trail of mistakes and missed opportunities, some which are painful to recall. But looking back keeps me locked in regret, rather than focusing on what's ahead with more discerning eyes and a wiser heart.
     The truth is, we all have regrets. We all have those painful choices we made that hurt others and led to disappointment and heartache. We chose paths motivated by our sinful flesh rather than the leading of the Spirit. But we must choose to learn from our mistakes without allowing them to define our present. People have asked me if I would wish away the affair that assaulted our marriage, and I confess this is a difficult question. While the affair stripped away my security and trust initially, it also brought about some pretty amazing things as well- a keen awareness of God as Comforter and Friend, and a more tender husband and marriage relationship. 
     While we all have regrets, we need to learn to leave them behind us and not allow them to bring us down in our present. It doesn't really matter if I could make changes in the past, because I can't. What's done is done, and it simply can't be changed, so why waste time and energy thinking about it? But today- today is full of new possibilities and opportunities! I can make a difference today and make better choices with spiritual discernment. I can pray about my decisions and wait on God's leading for today and the future. I can appreciate the marriage I have today. But I can't make different choices in my yesterdays. 
     Regret is a thief. It will rob you of peace, joy and contentment. If we allow it to remain, it will rob our relationships. Regret has its place between sin and confession, and from there, we need to let it go. Whatever regrets you are facing today, make each one right and choose to release them. God can use our failures for good- that's part of what He does. I don't want to go through life carrying the identity of my past sin, and I'm sure you don't want to either. Release any whom you may be forcing into a lifetime sentence of regret by truly forgiving them and allowing them to move forward. And why not start with yourself? Release yourself from the burden of regret, and step into the future with  determination to let go of the past. Today is a new day- live it joyfully, without regret!

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, Philippians 3:13 ESV
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 2 Corinthians 7:10 ESV
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for the sins of my past- each one is against You. Help me to release myself from guilt and regret after forgiveness is given. None of us are perfect, Father, and I pray that I will truly allow Your blood and Your grace to cover my sins, allowing me to let them go. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen! 

Warning Label

     What if God gave us warning labels ahead of our sin, to help us more clearly see the disastrous result of our poor choices? Do you think we would proceed with what we wanted to do if we had a clearer picture of what our choice would cost? I think we may look at our sin differently, but I also think we get stuck in a selfish pattern of wanting what we want, regardless of what God has to say about it. This past summer, I wrote an article through a counseling exercise regarding a warning label for my husband's infidelity. I wanted to share a little of it, even though we find it painful to read now:

"You will feel disappointed with things as you get to be middle-aged. Did I do all the things I wanted to do before I was old? You’ll feel like you missed out on things you deserved and you’ll begin forgetting about Me, and about her. You’ll believe you are an exception to the rule and will be able to handle some harmless flirtation. The other guys do it, why can’t you? Who will know, and who would find out? You’ll stuff down My voice and My Word will get dog hair and dust on the cover. Flirtation will turn a little more serious, and you’ll ignore My warnings. You’ll lie to your wife and the people you love and care about. You’ll call her on your way home from work each day and build a relationship you have no business building. You’ll build all around your lust, and your family I blessed you with will fall like shattered glass. You will fail them. You won’t be there for them the way they always thought you would be. You’ll tell them lies about where you are and what you are doing and you’ll try not to hear Me.  You were once respected by all who knew you, but your lustful choices will bring you down. You are broken and weak and you still won’t listen to My voice. You will walk away from your family and leave your wife and children feeling vulnerable. You will destroy what was, with your selfish ways and insensitivity, but your focus is on yourself now. I warned you from the start that you had no business going down this path, but you didn’t listen to Me. You wanted your way. You can turn back and make things right, but you must love Me more than anyone- including yourself. Satan sent this woman- not Me. You forget the good plans I have for you and you will never find happiness serving your selfish desires. Had you read this warning label before you started down this road, would you have chosen differently? My love is for you, and I call to you still. Will you listen? I love you, My son, and I always will. Turn back to Me, and let Me show you the path to true joy and happiness." 

     When I found this the other day, I was struck with how good God is! Just like a loving parent, He speaks and urges us to listen. He longs to forgive us and offer grace when we ignore our warning labels- and I am guilty. If God is warning you today, friend, about a particular struggle you are facing, take time to really think it through and count the cost. 

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23 ESV

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Galatians 6:7-8 ESV

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 14:12 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for how often I ignore Your voice whispering words of wisdom in the face of my foolish, sinful choices. How thankful I am for Your wonderful grace- so undeserved yet such a gift. Help me to listen closer to Your voice, and to stay actively engaged in Your Word to protect from Satan's targets against me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Resentful of Others

     Have you ever looked around at other people and felt resentful of their easier life? Their seemingly perfect marriage? Or how about their effortless ability to hold on to their youthful figure, but if you eat ONE donut, you need stretch pants? There are always people with more money, bigger houses, people who get to travel more, or families with perfectly behaved children. We can get so focused on what others have, that instead of seeing the good things we possess, we resent the blessings others are enjoying.
     Sitting in the middle of a painful marriage is a hard place to sit. While statistics say otherwise, it can feel lonely in the harder days of your marriage story. I would look around at all of my family and friends and see few of them really struggling. It isn't that I wanted them to struggle, but at times, I resented that I was. While they had that special person they could always count on to be there for them, I was hurt that I did not. 
     We all want happy and healthy marriages, but we can lose sight of the truth of what love is. Love isn't a feeling. Love isn't based on passion. Love isn't conditional. Love is a choice- a simple choice to love no matter what. For my readers who are married, remember that. Choose to love on the hard days, and remember that commitment is a promise. Rather than looking somewhere else when your marriage is struggling, look at the changes you can make in yourself to improve your marriage.
     We are all resentful of others at time, and falling into the "everyone does it" camp, doesn't make it right. We all have our struggles- no one is without them. Some of us are called to walk harder lives than others, but for those called to walk a harder road, we have so much opportunity for Christ. How can I use the painful journey through infidelity to help others? How can I use it to point others to Jesus Christ? Whatever road you are called to walk, use it! The harder ones give us the biggest voice. It's easy for me to resent the ones with easier life journeys, but if we change our perspective, we can see our situation as an opportunity for something great. God doesn't want any situation to defeat us, but rather that we would use it to defeat the enemy instead. 

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31 ESV
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; Hebrews 12:15 ESV
Surely vexation kills the fool, and jealousy slays the simple. Job 5:2 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to be happy for the blessings others enjoy and not allow their blessings to be a point of resentment in my heart. It's so easy to be jealous of others, and yet You have blessings for me. Help me remember the things You bless me with, and to use my harder seasons to point others to Your Son. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
     

His Story- Playing with Fire

     This isn't something you set out to do. If I could have stepped back, and seen the destruction and ruin from my choices, I would have run the other way with abandon. But wisdom was no longer my friend, as I had ever so slightly turned my back on God. Satan only needs a tiny opening, and he attacks with vengeance. I had always considered myself strong, but I was about to be exposed for my lack of exercising His strength in me.
     It started innocently enough. I had met her two years prior in a business setting. A co-worker of mine introduced us, as they had gone to school together. She was in our corporate accounting department at our headquarters, and each month I had to email her new accounts for editing and corrections. At the beginning of the month, I would send the expected email,  and never thought anything of it. One particular month, I had an issue, and needed to call regarding it. We talked for a few minutes, and I found the conversation intriguing. The reason for intrigue, was her playfulness on the other end of the phone.
     I continued to send my monthly email, and found out she had been transferred to another department. I was curious as to why, as I felt she did a great job in accounting. I found out her cell number, to inquire about the transfer. I wanted to know where she planned to transfer, and the reason why. I now had a dangerous piece of information- a personal way to contact a woman who wasn't my wife. 
     We now had established a regular format of conversation, based on me lending advice and support. I would check in every few weeks, and eventually every week, and before I knew it- daily contact! The more contact we had, the more fun it seemed to me. It felt like an outlet from my hectic life- an escape from what I felt trapped in. Conversations would start with business related issues, and then drift into more personal things. I vividly remember talking to her while driving, and she asked me if I was married. I remember feeling guilty when I told her I was, and I remember her pause in the conversation, and then we moved on to other topics of discussion. 
     My heart felt guilt in these conversations and thoughts, and God convicted me throughout this time, but I pushed it aside. So often I would get a text from my wife, followed by one from her. It was if God was reminding me of what I was doing- and who my attention should be on. I thought I could handle it, but without acknowledging the Spirit within, I was vulnerable and weak- a perfect target for Satan.
     This is the beginning of a story I wish I could change, but I let down my guard, and left my First Love- Christ. It's so important to keep ourselves armed with the whole armor of God. His reasons for boundaries and warning of sin, isn't to punish us and keep us from good things. The fact is- He loves us, and wants to protect us from hurt and ruin. Had I been connected in a healthy way with the Lord, I would have avoided hurting my wife, my children, and so many others. If you have been there, you understand the guilt and devastation of your choices. But this is the beginning of my story- and I serve a God of amazing grace. As you journey with me through it, I pray you will see my story with eyes of compassion, and that you would use it as an example of a heart that grows cold to Jesus. Learn from my story- the great cost of turning from God.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. Proverbs 14:12 ESV
If we are faithless, he remains faithful- for he cannot deny himself. 2 Timothy 2:13 ESV
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10 ESV
Be sober-minded; be watchful, Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, how I wish I had listened to Your voice, and followed Your way for me. Instead, I allowed Satan to bring me down. I hurt those who love me the most, and I hurt You. Father, forgive me for the pain I have caused, and I thank You for grace I don't deserve, yet You liberally offer it to us without end. Help me to have the courage to share my journey, praying it will show others redemption found only in You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Grace like Hosea

     If we could see our whole life picture ahead of us when we choose someone to marry, I wonder what we would do differently. If you saw your spouse, unfaithful in the future, would it change your choice? What if they were repeatedly unfaithful, and caused you a great deal of hurt? Wouldn't you want to run from what you saw, and choose differently? And what if God asked you to marry that person anyways, what would you think about that?
     There is a book in our Bible called Hosea- it's one of the minor prophets in the cleaner part of your Bible;) Hosea was instructed, by God, to marry an unfaithful woman. It seems pretty ludicrous, that God would ask this of him, but He did. I love how Hosea was obedient, and didn't pitch a fit- he simply obeyed. Gomer was an unfaithful wife that surely caused a lot of heartache for Hosea. But God had a reason, as He always does for what He asks of us. 
     In Gomer, He saw me; and in Hosea, He saw Himself. By requesting that Hosea marry Gomer, He was allowing a picture of His immeasurable grace. I am the unfaithful one, when it comes to God. And time and time again, He takes me back because that is His character- a God of love and endless grace. It doesn't make sense to us that He would reach out to us every time we turn away from Him, because it is against our nature. We like to hold on to grudges, and refuse to give grace and compassion to those that have hurt us, but when we refuse to extend grace, we are saying our standards are higher than His. 
     The older I get, the more I realize God asks hard things of us, sometimes. But He never does it to cause us pain or harm, He does it out of love- to make me more like Him. God led me to this book of Hosea often after my husband left, and I knew He had a reason. It popped up in my devotions, it popped up in sermons, and it popped up in conversations. I couldn't argue that He was asking me to apply this story to my own marriage. 
     If you're struggling with extending grace to the one who has betrayed you, remind yourself of the grace God shows you. Hosea didn't partially obey, he chose to be obedient, and love his unfaithful wife. This is a hard thing for our hearts to comprehend, and sometimes, we don't quite make it there. Other times, we may not be given the opportunity to repair what has happened. But if you do have the opportunity, and if you're willing to be like Hosea, you have an opportunity to be a picture of God's love towards us. In any situation, grace is yours to offer- and in it, you'll find freedom!

And from his fullness we all have received, grace upon grace. John 1:16 ESV
You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, 2 Timothy 2:1 ESV
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. 2 Peter 3:18 ESV
But as you excel in everything- in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you- see that you excel in this act of grace also. 2 Corinthians 8:7 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to show grace like Hosea. In light of the grace You have shown me, I have no right to hold it back from others. Give me the strength to be liberal in extending it to those who have hurt me. I thank You for Your grace towards me, for it shows a love greater than I can understand. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Satan's Attack on my Marriage- Part Two

     It's easy to see Satan at work in the lost. We can assign his hand to murderers, alcoholics, drug abusers, prostitutes and a long list of people whose lives are characterized by sin. But he doesn't just have jurisdiction on the lost, he most definitely goes after God's children as well- with fervency. According to 2 Corinthians 4:4, Satan blinds the eyes of unbelievers to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel. Satan once again doesn't stop there- he desperately seeks to blind the eyes of believers, with sin, to mess with their usefulness to God. Here is the scripture focus for today:
In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers,      to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who        is the image of God. 2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV
     In my earlier blog post, I mentioned that Satan goes after the active ones- people that are considered a threat to his evil plans. He can make our blessings look like burdens. He can dangle things in front of us that seem like a much better path for us. Prettier women. Men with flattering words. Someone that seems to understand us better. A life without the restraints of God's Word. Better sex. Freedom. It all feels so alluring, and appealing. But these are all lies, things he will use to bring us down and cause ruin. Instead of living in the freedom we experienced through the blood of Jesus, we shrug back into the filthy bondage of guilt and shame. It's a familiar garment, one we wore well for far too long before we were His. But it has no place on the backs of believers.
     There is no freedom in sin. There is no freedom in Satan. When we fall for his tricks, we lose joy and peace. We lose respect and confidence. This isn't a place God plans for believers, and His best plans are certainly not found in Satan's lies. Yet it happens, doesn't it? We see people who are prominent, useful, and active in the church fall. When we allow Satan to lure us away from God's ways for us, we will be temporarily blinded to what he is doing. We will question our blessings, and make excuses for why they are burdens. We will sit back, and watch marriages and families crumble, and shrug our shoulders. It won't look as ugly in the moment to the spiritually blind, but those with open eyes will look on with shock and horror at the awful price of sin. We know God won't stop pursuing a believer, and I'm so thankful for that. We can find hope in knowing that He will search for the missing sheep, speaking softly at times, and louder at others. And eventually, we pray that God will humble the blind. He is a God of restoration and healing, and He often does it when it looks completely impossible. Pray for the heart of those blinded by sin. Pray that God will open their eyes to the mess, chaos and ruin in the wake of Satan's destruction. And always- praying that through restoration, God will be glorified and honored. 

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 ESV
And give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:27 ESV
For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:3 ESV
For we do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for any who are spiritually blinded by Satan. Open their eyes to truth, and help them to clearly see the destruction of their choices. Guard me against this same blindness, and help my eyes to be fixed on You. Restore the lost and broken, and give healing to the hurt and set aside. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!