Where I Belong

 I walked into the room full of men and women with a dry mouth and a pounding heart. I knew no one and felt completely out of my element. Everyone was mingling, engrossed in groups of conversation. Coffee in hand, I glanced around the room looking for even one person that was alone only to find none. Why had I come, I wondered? I would do about anything to be home right now and not standing awkwardly outside of my comfort zone. I made eye contact with a few people as I slowly walked the perimeter, but didn't seem to connect with anyone. Finding my way to a seat, I tried to look confident and comfortable alone with my coffee. Pretending to peruse my social media thread, I mentally ticked the amount of time I would spend in this uncomfortable place.

Have you ever felt out of place—like a fish out of water? As I've gotten older I've gotten much better at being "good" with new situations, but they still cause a little anxiety for me. These are the thoughts that whirled through my mind as I thought this week of Ruth (not myself, but the Old Testament version of Ruth). As a Moabite woman, she left behind her family and her heritage for something completely different when she married Mahlon. As an Israelite family from Bethlehem, Mahlon's family was unlike the Moabite family Ruth would have been raised in. After a short time together, Ruth became a widow along with her mother-in-law and sister-in-law as all three lost their husbands.

Naomi, Ruth's mother-in-law, encouraged Ruth to return to her family and her homeland. This would have been more comfortable, perhaps, but it wasn't what Ruth believed to be right. Somewhere along the way, Ruth saw that Mahlon's family served the true God, and she loved Naomi and was willing to leave all she knew to follow her to a whole new place. But how did she feel in her heart as she set out for this city she knew nothing about nor anyone who lived there, apart from Naomi? I'm guessing she felt a little like I did in that room full of strangers, yet her resolve was firmly in place to follow Naomi wherever she decided to go.

Ruth wasn't an Israelite, but God didn't exclude her from His people because she had a different nationality. In fact, He made a place in His own family for her. How so? By weaving her into the very bloodline that would lead to the birth of Jesus Christ. I find this very special as well as encouraging for those of us who are Gentiles. While God chose the Israelites to be His chosen people, He opened up the way for those who sought Him—regardless of their lineage. His heart always craved a heart who desired Him. Rahab, another Old Testament woman with a sordid past was not a Jew either, yet she also shared in the bloodline that led to the birth of the Messiah. 

When we come into the New Testament, we see the open door for the Gentiles through Paul's preaching. The gospel was for everyone—even me. No matter your skin color or the country you were born and raised in, you're welcome in the family of God. If you have a colorful past or a family full of crooks, you're welcome in the family of God. He doesn't exclude—we do that. It's precious to think that God desires us and that as His children we are always wanted—we never have to worry about fitting in or feeling like a misfit. 

Do you ever feel a little lost in this world, overcome by feelings of inadequacy? Do you ever feel alone and out of your element? Humans judge and accept us based on their perceptions of us, but God accepts us based on something better—the shed blood of His Son on the cross of Calvary. If ever love was perfectly displayed, it was there on that cross. Through His invitation to come, it points to His intense desire for us. We will forever belong to Him and we never have to feel insecure or alone. Ruth was engrafted into His family despite her nationality. While she was considered a "foreigner", God saw her as a daughter. There are a million reasons why I shouldn't be accepted into God's family, but His love covers them all. I am chosen, wanted and fully accepted as a daughter in God's family—what a tremendous privilege and blessing it is.

Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all (Colossians 3:11, ESV).

Therefore let it be known to you that this salvation of God has been sent to the Gentiles; they will listen (Acts 28:28, ESV)."

And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd (John 10:16, ESV).

The Importance of Belonging

 New social situations have always been difficult for me. You may not think that would be true if you know me, but I struggle with walking in a room of strangers and feeling comfortable. The older I've gotten, the more confident I feel in these situations, but I still wouldn't choose it. But when I was younger, the first day of college classes had my stomach in knots, and my breath a little short. There is no way to assess the layout of the classroom ahead of time-you simply open the door and then quickly decide where to sit and what to do. I also remember the new world of attending business networking events where I would walk in a restaurant, know almost no one, and have to find my way into the group. Why are these uncomfortable situations for most of us? It all comes down to our real need to belong and to feel accepted by others.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard someone say, "I don't care what people think about me"! And while it's an easy thing to say, it's almost impossible to fully believe. I don't honestly know anyone who would walk into a room full of strangers whispering and glancing their way, and not feel uncomfortable and upset. I remember studying Maslow's hierarchy of needs in sociology, a theory made up of the five essential human needs. And guess what made the list?-belonging! Belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group. This group can be made up of family, friends, co-workers, fellow believers or strangers. If you are human, you need to belong.

For many of us, it's a lifelong struggle. Even when you do find yourself in a group of familiar people, you question others thoughts of you. You wonder if shared glances and whispers are being made at your expense. You may feel inferior to certain members of your circle of friends or acquaintances. "So-and-so" makes more money than you. Someone else is more physically attractive. Everyone laughs at her jokes, but yours don't bring the same bang. Your co-worker may be the brains behind the project, making you feel inadequate. We come up with a million little reasons why we aren't quite accepted, and doubt our worth and ability to "belong" in this group. And when we do this, we feel less about ourselves than who God created us to be.

I think one of the most refreshing and amazing aspects of being in God's family, is how readily He accepts us. We don't deserve to be in this beautiful family, but through the blood of Jesus, we are made acceptable. In the darkest place of my life, the Son of God came into that space, seeking my rescue. If ever there was a time I wasn't acceptable, it was in the darkness of my sin, and yet the love of Christ was demonstrated in how He chose to meet me in that place. By His blood, I was made right before the Father. God's family is full of misfits-me being one of them. And yet when we come together, we belong because we have been adopted into the family.

When I think of how God sees me as His daughter, it should chase away my insecurities. Not in a way that makes me prideful, but in a humbling way, I can walk in the confidence of His love. Even if people choose to ignore me and not make me feel welcome. Even when I am surrounded by strangers. Because the truth is, I really don't belong here. I wasn't made to fit in with the world-I was made for heaven. Somedays this truth escapes me and I allow Satan to whisper words that cause me to feel anxious and unsure of myself. But I hope that the next time I feel a sense of anxiety in the presence of strangers or those who aren't welcoming, that I will remember who I really am. I pray I'll remember that I am a child of God, and in His Kingdom, I am always accepted. May each of us feel a real sense of belonging when we think of our identity in the best family of all-the family of God!

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God (John 1:12, ESV),

So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another (Romans 12:5, ESV).

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God (Ephesians 2:19, ESV),

Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God (Romans 15:7, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for accepting us. The cost was high-the very blood of Your Son, and we acknowledge this truth and offer our thanksgiving. Help us to remember when doubts and insecurities creep in, that we belong to Your family and nothing can change that. Help us to walk in Your love, and welcome others in the way you welcomed us. In Your name we pray, Amen!