The Things that Got Better

 While it's true that somethings get worse with the passing of time, I'm thankful that some things get better. I can easily think of things that have gotten worse as I've grown up. For example, the change in social connection from the overuse of technology—there isn't anything like face-to-face interaction. Through written text, you miss the tone of the words spoken and the emotions of the person you're speaking to. In our era it's harder to develop communication skills that are vital to lasting, healthy relationships. 

My childhood days look so different from modern day childhood. We played outside until dark and were safe to ride our bikes a mile away and not have worried parents that we would be abducted or killed. Not that it never happened, but certainly less than today. We drank from water hoses, got spanked for misbehavior, and couldn't be contacted by our friends unless they phoned our home or rang the doorbell. It was a different world—one that was safer and in my opinion, a lot more fun. This is an area where change over the years was not for the greater good, and I think many would agree with that.

But I think back to thoughts from some Christians that were standard when I was younger that have changed for the better in many places around the globe. A "good" Christian was marked by their outward appearance much more than the state of their heart. Make-up was worldly. Women wearing pants raised eyebrows. Missing church for viable reasons was frowned upon. Jewelry—no! And on and on the list could go. So much of our christianity was placed on our physical appearance and not on spiritual transformation. Not that the inner heart won't spill over into our exterior, but too often being "godly" meant following a list of legalistic rules. Maybe you didn't grow up with this as the norm but many did.

While this is in no way excusing immodesty or irreverence, there is much to be said for turning away others by legalism (rules based on personal preferences). The true character of a Christian should be seen in how we communicate with others, compassionately seek to help and understand others, and lovingly share the gospel with those who are lost. It's displayed in the heart of one who seeks the good of others above themselves. It's in the acts of kindness toward strangers and loved ones alike. It's being the hands and feet of Jesus as we serve those we rub shoulders with. 

While I'm no longer a "young person", I find many of them refreshing these days. I see our own youth serving the Lord by reaching out to the younger kids in our community, teaching them about Jesus and showing a real care for them. I see them brushing away the "rules" of the past for something better—a heart willing to serve. I see them stepping up to help someone who needs encouragement, a babysitter, or help with a broken down car. I watch them and feel encouraged and hopeful that they are connecting with the call to be Christlike—loving and caring for the needs of others. And this does something to their outward appearance too—they exude joy. 

Some things do get worse with time, but I'm thankful for the things that get better. They give me hope and it warms my heart to see how all these centuries later, the Holy Spirit is still thriving in the hearts of many. Our world overall is certainly not improving and can discourage us when we see all that is happening around us, but God is still actively working and using His people to fulfill His purposes. May we place value on changed hearts over something less important. May we look closer than our outside judgments about another Christian and search instead for a changed life. And may we seek to have a heart like our Jesus and show kindness, grace and compassion to a hurting, sinful world. They need us, and they need God's love demonstrated through us and it should be our privilege to do just that.  

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast (Ephesians 2:8-9, ESV).

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path (Psalm 119:105, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to have gracious hearts that really see the hearts of others. May we push aside the temptation to pass judgment solely based on appearance, and may we ourselves have hearts that reflect Your light and love for others. May others identify us as Your children because of how we act. In Your name we pray, Amen.

 

The Jealousy Of Cain

In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. And the LORD said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood is crying to me from the ground. And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it shall no longer yield to you its strength. You shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth.” (Genesis 4:3-6, 8, 10-12 ESV)

Jealousy. A sin we easily commit daily. We play the comparison game and often feel like we are getting the short end of the stick. They have more money. He has a better job. She has a better body. They have a nicer home. She has trouble-free kids. His wife is sweeter than mine. Her husband is more attentive. Dangerous, jealous thoughts enter our minds and steal the joy of our own marriage blessings. It's an unhealthy game we often play, and it never leads to good. 

Cain had a pretty good situation going on for him. He was an accomplished farmer. He had been blessed with a green thumb, and before his curse, the ground easily produced for him. He was just missing one thing- a heart for God. This one missing character trait cost him everything. He was jealous of his younger brother, Abel. Abel understood God’s requirements regarding sacrifice, and took great care to give an acceptable offering. Cain hated his brother for outshining him in the presence of God. This led to a jealousy that turned his heart and hands to murder his very own brother. The price of this evil deed led to a curse on Cain that was almost too much for him to bear. Because jealousy and envy does that-it destroys and steals. 

Jealousy is a dangerous enemy to marriage. We can find ourselves feeling bitter about our spouse’s shortcomings when we shift our gaze to other couples and begin making comparisons. What we aren’t seeing, is the inside, day-to-day struggles, we all face in the confines and privacy of our own homes. Nobody is perfect, and no one has it all, no matter what you think you observe in them. Instead of wishing for something someone else has, why not invest that energy into bettering ourselves and our own marriage? When we put in the effort, even if its one-sided, our marriage will be much better for it. 

One of the best ways to get rid of jealousy is voicing gratitude for what you’ve been given. The more you do it, the more natural it will become to have a heart of thankfulness for your spouse. Then thank God for your spouse, and focus on their positive attributes. Don't take them for granted. Talk to your spouse about their strengths, and let them know what you specifically appreciate about them. The more we focus on being grateful, the more jealousy will not take root and destroy. Don’t be like Cain. Satan will try any tactic to destroy the joy in your marriage. Refuse to allow jealousy to lessen the gift you have been given in your own spouse. Your marriage is the one to focus one. Anything different will only lead to discontent. 

*What are you specifically jealous of? Take a moment to think of even one thing that is a dangerous jealous thought, standing in the way of fully enjoying your own marriage. 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the blessing of marriage-my marriage. Help us guard our hearts against jealousy, as it can easily cause us to be full of discontentment in all of our relationships-especially the one I share with my spouse. Thank You for the gift we have in one another. Help us to regularly speak thankfulness for the one you’ve given to us. In the name of Jesus, we pray, Amen.