Lessons from Mistletoe

 What comes to mind when you think of mistletoe? It's likely your thoughts are  linked to a Christmastime tradition—a small section of greenery that's known as a kissing plant. Whoever passes beneath the mistletoe at the same time is supposed to kiss one another. It's a fun tradition (mostly) and one enjoyed during the holiday season. But mistletoe isn't just for Christmas, and it may surprise you to find out that it's a plant considered to be a parasite. Yep—that pretty bunch of greenery with white berries is a parasitic plant.

One day in November of last year, my husband and I were playing around in the front yard with our puppy when he noticed a new growth on our pear tree. He recognized it right away as mistletoe, grafted into the branch of our Bradford pear. I had never seen that before on the trees on our property, and it was discovered that two of our trees had a rogue growth of mistletoe. This encouraged me to read up on this plant and do a little research—having a landscaping business, it's great to know about these things. What I discovered had an astounding lesson—a great lesson for us as Christians. 

Mistletoe finds its way to a host tree from a bird who carries the seed of the plant after enjoying their white berries. Gross as it sounds, a bird passes the seed through droppings in the safety of the tree branch. As that seed lays, it may or may not grow and attach itself to the new tree. If conditions are ripe for the seed, it will successfully germinate and penetrate the bark of the host tree. As it grows, it steals nutrients from its host plant. While mistletoe grows relatively slow, over time, the host tree will be deprived of essential nutrients and loses its health.

Mistletoe must be removed completely from its host, or it will eventually destroy the tree it's attached to. The only effective way to remove it is to cut away the affected branch—cutting it off at least 12" under its attachment. Pulling away the mistletoe without taking the necessary steps will not destroy the parasite and regrowth can be expected. Now think about the lessons this plant can teach us as it pertains to sin.

Just like mistletoe, sin can destroy our "tree" if precautions are not taken. While we all deal with the daily wrestlings against temptation and sin, some are allowed to take root in our lives and while it's a seemingly slow process, Satan uses his  resourcefulness to allow that sin to penetrate us and slowly dismantle our testimony for Christ. He may whisper that it's okay—normal—and no big deal. And so it grows and removes the nutrients from our spiritual healthiness. It's in essence, a parasite of the worst kind.

Because of the prevalence of sin, we often become quite numb to its presence in our lives. I know I don't "examine myself" as we read about in the New Testament, as often as I should. And even when I do, I often fail to recognize the sneaky ways Satan filters into my mind with prideful thoughts and a need for control. If I don't realize its grip on me, that parasite grows and grows. The only way to remove it successfully is to remove it completely and allow Jesus to wash me clean. 

As my son sawed off the two branches with mistletoe growths, my heart was reminded of the need to purge sin from my own life at its root. If I fail to, it will grow and begin to take over the health of my "tree". I'll never look at mistletoe the same way again, and honestly, I think it's another amazing reminder from creation that teaches us godly principles and demonstrates our need for rescue from a holy God. 

May we be ever mindful of those seeds that come in the form of temptation—words we want to say, and things we want to do and filter them through what Scripture teaches us. Will they honor God, or will they take root and bring about spiritual decay or ruin that will bring dishonor to God? May we carefully guard our testimonies and prune any root of sin that we've allowed to germinate in our hearts and minds. 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9, ESV).

Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit (John 15:2, ESV).

Extravagant Worshipper

 In my reading this week, I was touched by the act of Mary's extravagant gift to Jesus—the gift of perfumed ointment. She sat at the feet of Jesus and poured out a whole bottle of very expensive oil on His feet, weeping as she did so. She used her hair to wipe the oil from His feet, and here's the thing—she used the whole container on Jesus.

We read in Scripture that this ointment was costly. How much are we talking here? It says it was worth about 300 pence which would equal the salary for almost an entire year of wages. Now if we convert this into modern currency, depending on whose math you choose to go with (there are many opinions), you're looking at a price tag of somewhere between $15,00 and $56,000 for this alabaster box of nard. That's a lot of money! Which brings this Bible verse to mind:

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21, ESV).

Our spending history reveals our hearts. This truth weighs heavily on me, revealing a lack in my heart for loving the LORD wholeheartedly. I hold back, and this is reflected in my spending which is why I know deep within my heart that I would only have used a little of that nard on Jesus and reserved the rest for another use. I'm unsettled by that truth and personally find it uncomfortable. I would love to think I would pour it all out on Jesus but I know myself well enough to know better.

What is it that may be holding you back from this type of extravagance? Maybe you would pour it all out, and if so, I want to be more like you. Or maybe like me, you would feel pretty accomplished and happy with yourself for giving a little bit of something so unbelievably expensive, thinking it was a sacrificial offering—but Jesus would know the truth. 

Mary's love for Jesus was evidenced in this act of worship. She didn't hold anything back from Him—she gave Him all of it. This shows her heart for Jesus, and how she properly understood His place in her life. Money wasn't greater than Him—she placed her own wants and needs under her worship of Him. Mary was a worshipper and this scene in Scripture gives us a front row seat to what that looks like.

God doesn't ask us to give gifts with a certain price tag, He just asks for our hearts. Not in part—but our whole heart. He is truly worthy of my heart and it saddens me to think of how often I reserve parts of it for other people or stuff. I don't do it intentionally, but when I stop to evaluate my own heart alongside the heart of Mary, I see myself falling far short. It's not wrong to love other people—in fact, as believers, we certainly should. But God should have the place of priority in my life and should be on the throne of my heart.

As I've thought of Mary's gift this week, it's humbled me. It's made me realize how far I fall short in my worship of Christ. I want to be more like Mary, yet the temptation to indulge myself often stands in the way. Jesus doesn't deserve being pushed down the totem pole while I place lesser things above Him. He is the Everlasting LORD—the King of kings. And all He asks of me is to love Him wholeheartedly. May that become more a more a reality in my heart and may it be reflected in my worship. 

If we want to be worshippers, we will have to remove the gods we place above Jesus—gods that have familiar names like money, comfort, materialism, sexual pleasure, food, and other worldly temptations. None of those will bring us the joy and satisfaction found in worshipping the only true God—Jesus. May our hearts be touched with how great His love is for us, and in return, may we worship Him with our whole hearts—hearts like Mary's. 

 

Looking Ahead and Standing Guard

It's a New Year—2022! It seems hard to believe we are where we are, and that we've come through some really difficult years and face a new one with all its challenges ahead of us. While we've closed out 2021, we still have some of the same issues staring us in the face as we begin 2022. And yet among all of the challenges, we still serve the same Faithful God. But as we look ahead, it's great to take stock of where we are today, where we've been, and how we can do better tomorrow.  

There's much to be said about being committed and faithful to fulfilling our spiritual purpose, and yet Satan is no less interested today in manipulating our spiritual demise. The fact is, he's very good at what he does, and if we don't guard ourselves, we will fall spiritually. When we fall, every other area of our life will suffer. Our families will suffer, our marriage will suffer, our relationships will suffer and we will not be an employee or employer that exemplifies integrity or godliness. In no way is it true that as believers, we are promised an easy ride—that's called prosperity gospel, and is unscriptural at its core. But when we fail to guard ourselves and give in to Satan's temptations when life gets tough, it will dismantle us spiritually—affecting us and those we love. 

Perhaps one of the most powerful sermons I recently heard spoke of how it's a good practice to walk yourself mentally through a fall. Imagine yourself sitting down those you love and respect the most, confessing your failure to them—eye to eye, one by one. Imagine their response as they hear news that will disappoint them or break their hearts—and how it will break yours to see the pain caused by bad choices. It's an exercise that's sobering and frightening and helps us visualize the damage that comes from bad choices. And here's the honest truth—it's a possibility for every single one of us no matter our age or how long we've walked with Christ so we must be on guard. 

As we embark on a new year, it's a good time to reflect on our priorities. Where is the biggest chunk of my time spent? Who am I focused on the most? Am I being obedient to God's call on my life, and living to serve and please Him? Somedays, the answer may look much better than the next. And somedays, I feel pricked in my heart that its primary focus isn't first on Jesus. We don't set out to rearrange our priorities, it happens little by little and day by day in the choices we make. If we are too busy, we often cut out the most vital part of what we need spiritually—unhurried time with our Father in heaven. 

It's true that we've maneuvered through some pretty challenging years—years we couldn't have even begun to imagine. We've faced physical challenges, social challenges, emotional challenges and when you group all of those together, it can spill over into our spiritual health, crippling us and making us vulnerable to Satan's attacks against us. But I think one of the most precious truths we can hold on to is this: Jesus is the same—He never changes no matter what our circumstances may look like today. He's the same compassionate, grace-filled, loving Savior He was yesterday, last year, and even 1,000 years ago. Whatever we face this year, He's with us and He's for us.

As I think of 2022, I want to see my priorities balance out a little more than they've looked like previously. I want to stop living as a believer on auto pilot, going through the motions at times yet lacking spiritual fervor. I want to lay out further groundwork to protect my marriage, my family, my local church and the relationships I enjoy with family and friends. I want to acknowledge the propensity each day for slow steps in the wrong direction, and make corrections that will keep me on a path that pleases Christ. And should I live long enough to close out 2022, I pray that I'll see growth, development, enhanced relationships and harmony and joy in my home as I look back on the year. I pray I'll be committed to continually loving and better serving my husband, my family, my church family and most of all Jesus. And then I also pray that I'll strive for even more the following year so that each year, little by little, I'm starting to look a lot more like Him and a lot less like me. 

The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps (Proverbs 16:9, ESV).

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change (James 1:17, ESV).

When The World Shakes Around You

A number of years ago, I recall sitting on my couch in the living room when my house began to rattle and shake. Living in the Lake Norman area of North Carolina, earthquakes are not common, nor are they quakes that cause significant damage. They fall relatively low on the scale of intensity, but it's a weird and unsettling feeling nonetheless, and one I had never felt before.

Lately, our world is shaking. Earthquakes—yes, but in a very real sense, the world around us is unsettled—full of chaos and frightening events. My heart breaks for Haiti. My spirit feels shaken by the events in Afghanistan. Our country is at war over the handling of Covid19, dividing families and friends. The stock market has been impacted by all of these events causing fear and uncertainty in people's financial welfare. 

Personally, your world may be shaking, too. Maybe it's one of your children facing a terminal illness. Maybe it's your spouse, unfaithful and uncaring. Maybe it's your business—struggling to survive in an unstable economy. Or maybe it's even you—sick and tired of life and the struggles you're facing day after day. The world around you seems to not only be shaking, but tumbling down on top of you.

These feelings aren't new, in fact, they take me back to the early Church believers and the many trials they faced. Persecution was a daily worry. They were well-acquainted with suffering. We read often in Scripture where Paul and other New Testament writers wrote words to encourage them in the midst of these trials. We know from history that these believers faced be-heading, death in the arena by hungry lions, and many other forms of torture and imprisonment. And in the middle of these thoughts my heart is bolstered by these precious words from Scripture—the same words spoken to them many years ago:

"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you (1 Peter 5:10)."

"So they went on their way from the presence of the Council, rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name (Acts 5:41)."

"If we endure, we will also reign with Him; if we deny Him, He will also deny us (2 Timothy 2:12)."

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us (Romans 8:18)."

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4)."

"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison (2 Corinthians 4:17),"

Today, if your load is heavy, rest on these words from Scripture. God longs to comfort us in our deepest struggles and offers us His strength to endure to the end. Some days our souls feel so weary and our body is tight with worry, stress or fear. Jesus has great compassion for our feelings and our worries and our shaken world. He calls us to Himself with these beautiful, hope-giving words:

"'Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30).""

Our world may shake, but if our foundation is built on Jesus, we are safe and secure. He will not be moved or shaken so we can hold onto Him with confidence—no matter what we are facing in this season. May these simple words and thoughts offer comfort and encouragement when your world shakes and threatens to bring you down with it. Hold fast to Jesus, trusting Him to see you through.

RPM

Wedding Planning

 As the 31st of July approaches at the speed of a freight train, we are all about wedding planning around here. As the family of the groom, we certainly have less on our plates to handle, but there is still a lot going on to prepare for the big day. From rehearsal dinner menus and guest lists, to all the right clothing for the family, that's just the start to what we've been up to. The thing is, wedding planning is pretty fun, even though it's also pretty expensive. But if no effort is put into the planning, the day won't go smoothly and it wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable for the bride, groom or any of the guests. 

All of this commotion has got me thinking about something, though. As special as this wedding is, it pales in comparison to the wedding we will be a part of as believers in Christ Jesus. This celebration just gives a small peek into something much bigger and much more meaningful—the wedding where all of us are the Bride of Christ. The one really big difference is this: the Groom did most of the work and this work was costly beyond our scope of understanding.

In order for us to be a part of the bride of Christ, we had to be redeemed. This redemption cost God His only Son, Jesus, dying on the cross to offer us all the priceless gift of salvation. After His death, He was resurrected and ascended into Heaven where He went to prepare a place for us—you, me and every believer in Christ. He stated that He would "go to prepare a mansion for us." And so we can trust that this is exactly what He is doing as we wait here for Him to rapture His church. So we can see how He is doing His part to bring us into the marriage celebration in Heaven, but what about me? What about you? What are we doing to prepare for that wedding in the sky?

In all honesty, it's humbling to admit that I am not preparing at the same feverish pitch as I am for my son's wedding. It's like I think I have my whole life to prepare—but we have no idea how long we have before God calls us home. I have today, I have now, but that's all I can be sure of. So in these days or moments or years, I need to be preparing for my Groom—but what does that look like?

We put a lot of focus on the Bride in our worldly weddings. Their dress, hair, make-up and jewelry are all well thought out. We hire stylists and make-up artists. We get alterations until the dress fits perfectly. We shop around until we find the perfect pair of shoes. All of this is important, but quite different from how we prepare for our heavenly Bridegroom. Our preparation involves work on our hearts and our willing obedience to living to serve our Lord. 

Should Jesus call us home today—or if it is your last day here, how do you look from our Groom's perspective? While His blood covers our sin and cleanses us, we still are responsible for how we lived and loved. Would you feel prepared to meet Him today, or would you feel regret at misplaced attention on less important things? This gives me pause as I write this, because it's clear to me that I have much more I wish to do for the Lord and yet I'm pouring a great deal of attention in places that don't reap an eternal reward. 

I'm looking forward to July 31st—for sure. It's a day to celebrate these two people we love and their love for one another. But the day will come when I will meet my own heavenly Bridegroom—Jesus. I want to be ready for that day, and I don't want to feel unprepared when I stand before Him. And so I have work to do to prepare for that wedding in Heaven—I have serving and following and loving left to do in abundance. Not for my sake, no, but for the purpose of fulfilling my calling in the family of Christ. 

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also (John 14:3, ESV).

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure"—for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, "Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb." And he said to me, "These are the true words of God (Revelation 19:7-9, ESV)."

Dear Heavenly Father, help us be more aware of the preparation we should be doing as we prepare to be called home to You. The biggest wedding celebration ever will be our wedding to You–our Perfect and Precious Bridegroom. May it not be true that we stand before You fully unprepared with empty hands and hallow hearts. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Passing Through the Waters

 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you (Isaiah 43:2, ESV).

With the enemy thundering at their heels, the Children of Israel rushed forward hoping for an escape from Pharaoh's army. The Egyptians had set them free, only to change their minds and pursue them on their flight from bondage. God had delivered them—or so they thought. As they were pursued, they came to a roadblock. The Red Sea lay before them and the enemy behind. They were trapped. Fear, doubt, anger and uncertainty likely held each of them captive. Why would God deliver them only to bring them to certain death at the banks of the sea?

"Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the Lord drove the sea back by a strong east wind all night and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided (Exodus 14:21, ESV)."

Deliverance came for them through the gracious hand of God and their enemies perished in the waters as they closed on those Egyptians. The waters did not overwhelm them.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to kneel down to the golden image King Nebuchadnezzar had made. Refusal to worship this false god would result in a serious punishment—they would be thrown into a fiery furnace. What a terrifying verdict, and yet when we read further we read these words in Scripture:

"Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished and rose up in haste. He declared to his counselors, "Did we not cast three men bound into the fire?" They answered and said to the king, "True, O king." He answered and said, "But I see four men unbound, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods (Daniel 3:24-25, ESV).""

Deliverance came for these men through the gracious hand of God for their faithfulness to Him. The fire did not consume them.

What waters are you currently facing? Is there something you're facing that seems impossible? Do you feel trapped by your circumstances and can't seem to find a way out? Is it finances? An addiction? A troubled relationship? An affair? Or maybe you're facing foreclosure. What waters have you feeling fearful and discouraged?

What fires are you facing? The loss of a loved one? An unfaithful spouse who abandoned you? A pregnancy that is seriously in jeopardy? A family scandal or job insecurity? Do you feel the heat and wonder how you'll ever survive it? 

Deliverance doesn't always look like we think it should, but the God who parted that sea, and the same God who walked through the fire with those Hebrew men is still God today. When waters or fires threaten to consume and overwhelm us, He is our only solid answer and the only true Source of hope. 

May we be encouraged today in trusting that God knows our situation and He also knows our need. While He won't always remove hardships we experience, He will always meet us in the middle of them. He does always give us the strength and courage we need to face our trials and in these trials we face the promised refining—being made more like Jesus each day.

The Things that Got Better

 While it's true that somethings get worse with the passing of time, I'm thankful that some things get better. I can easily think of things that have gotten worse as I've grown up. For example, the change in social connection from the overuse of technology—there isn't anything like face-to-face interaction. Through written text, you miss the tone of the words spoken and the emotions of the person you're speaking to. In our era it's harder to develop communication skills that are vital to lasting, healthy relationships. 

My childhood days look so different from modern day childhood. We played outside until dark and were safe to ride our bikes a mile away and not have worried parents that we would be abducted or killed. Not that it never happened, but certainly less than today. We drank from water hoses, got spanked for misbehavior, and couldn't be contacted by our friends unless they phoned our home or rang the doorbell. It was a different world—one that was safer and in my opinion, a lot more fun. This is an area where change over the years was not for the greater good, and I think many would agree with that.

But I think back to thoughts from some Christians that were standard when I was younger that have changed for the better in many places around the globe. A "good" Christian was marked by their outward appearance much more than the state of their heart. Make-up was worldly. Women wearing pants raised eyebrows. Missing church for viable reasons was frowned upon. Jewelry—no! And on and on the list could go. So much of our christianity was placed on our physical appearance and not on spiritual transformation. Not that the inner heart won't spill over into our exterior, but too often being "godly" meant following a list of legalistic rules. Maybe you didn't grow up with this as the norm but many did.

While this is in no way excusing immodesty or irreverence, there is much to be said for turning away others by legalism (rules based on personal preferences). The true character of a Christian should be seen in how we communicate with others, compassionately seek to help and understand others, and lovingly share the gospel with those who are lost. It's displayed in the heart of one who seeks the good of others above themselves. It's in the acts of kindness toward strangers and loved ones alike. It's being the hands and feet of Jesus as we serve those we rub shoulders with. 

While I'm no longer a "young person", I find many of them refreshing these days. I see our own youth serving the Lord by reaching out to the younger kids in our community, teaching them about Jesus and showing a real care for them. I see them brushing away the "rules" of the past for something better—a heart willing to serve. I see them stepping up to help someone who needs encouragement, a babysitter, or help with a broken down car. I watch them and feel encouraged and hopeful that they are connecting with the call to be Christlike—loving and caring for the needs of others. And this does something to their outward appearance too—they exude joy. 

Some things do get worse with time, but I'm thankful for the things that get better. They give me hope and it warms my heart to see how all these centuries later, the Holy Spirit is still thriving in the hearts of many. Our world overall is certainly not improving and can discourage us when we see all that is happening around us, but God is still actively working and using His people to fulfill His purposes. May we place value on changed hearts over something less important. May we look closer than our outside judgments about another Christian and search instead for a changed life. And may we seek to have a heart like our Jesus and show kindness, grace and compassion to a hurting, sinful world. They need us, and they need God's love demonstrated through us and it should be our privilege to do just that.  

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast (Ephesians 2:8-9, ESV).

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path (Psalm 119:105, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to have gracious hearts that really see the hearts of others. May we push aside the temptation to pass judgment solely based on appearance, and may we ourselves have hearts that reflect Your light and love for others. May others identify us as Your children because of how we act. In Your name we pray, Amen.

 

The Manipulation Game

 It starts as very young children—innocently enough initially until they figure out they own power over a caretaker. It's different than a new baby crying to signal hunger or discomfort, it's an action backed with intention. A temper tantrum is a clear sign of early stage manipulation—I'll scream and carry on until I get on your nerves so much that you'll give me what I want. As soon as you give them what they wanted to make the screaming stop, they think to themselves, "hey, that works!" And so it begins.

This behavior often follows us into our growing up years. We say things to manipulate a response: "If you really loved me, you wouldn't ground me for 3 weeks." The parents talk among themselves and reduce the punishment. They have in short, been manipulated. Why do we fall for this? Because our love is short-sighted and we don't enjoy punishing the people we love. By short-sighting our relationships though, we are failing to raise children who realize that A) sin has consequences, and B) manipulating us is not an option.

What is manipulation? It is defined as an action "to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner." (www.dictionary.com). The older we get, the better we often become at being manipulators. We learn what works with certain people and we skillfully use words or actions to influence them to do what we want them to do. This is a very damaging way to manage our relationships, and often leads to the parting of ways. If we manipulate our children, they are watching us and learning from our own behavior, thus, pouring this same manipulation into their own familial relationships. So, what do we do about it, and is there any hope to re-train ourselves to find value in differing opinions, behaviors and decisions other than what we prefer?

Manipulation is said by behavioral experts to be rooted in fear and insecurity. What we know from Scripture is that fear is not from God. ("For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline- 2 Timothy 1:7, NLT.") We also read in the Bible that there is no fear in love ("There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love- 1 John 4:18, NIV.) So we can surmise that fear is from Satan, and fear has no place in love. This poses a problem for allowing manipulation into our relationships as believers, and yet it is often prevalent in how we handle our kids, co-workers, and especially our spouse. 

Manipulation is a form of controlling others. When we practice controlling behavior, we are removing God from the equation. We may not be aware that we are essentially doing that, but isn't God the One who should be in control? Now here is another uncomfortable bit of truth. I've been a manipulator and I've been manipulated—and you have also played on both sides of the field. Some have a bigger struggle with it than others, but as believers, it's a behavior we need to eliminate from our lives. The only way we can even begin to tackle it is to understand that we have this problem and sincerely desire change. When we get to this point, only then is there hope for God to move in and work to change our hearts. When our hearts are changed, what flows from our words and our actions will also change as those are directly impacted by the state of our spiritual hearts.

If you recognize this damaging behavior in your own life, my prayer today is that you would acknowledge it, then learn to take it to the feet of Jesus. He longs to banish our fears and insecurities, and He promises to give us strength and help for anything we face. Depending on the severity and the root cause of our manipulative behaviors, we may find ourselves in need of counseling from a professional. But most of us can find what we need in Christ to kick this bad habit to the curb. May we allow God to purge us from using skillful influence to get what we want from the ones we love, because at the very core of it all, we are damaging our relationships. God, help us today to see ourselves with open eyes and open hearts, and be willing to allow You to work in us for our spiritual and relational good. 

Examples of Manipulative Behavior: (a very short list)

*Compliments before giving your parents your report card

*Withholding sex from your spouse over an argument

*Guilting your child to stay home because you're lonely

*Complimenting a co-worker so they do something that should be       your job to do

*Putting someone down to elevate yourself

*Pouting because your guy chose to play basketball instead of shopping   with you

*Crying to get out of a speeding ticket

*Using a loud, angry voice to intimidate

*Preaching a sermon that was tailored to jab at one person in the   congregation

*Misrepresenting a product to make a sale

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive us for this sinful, damaging behavioral pattern we often portray in our lives. Purge us from manipulation and help us to see how damaging it is to our relationships. Lord, may we remember that You are in control, and it is best left that way. In Your precious name we pray, Amen!