Extravagant Worshipper

 In my reading this week, I was touched by the act of Mary's extravagant gift to Jesus—the gift of perfumed ointment. She sat at the feet of Jesus and poured out a whole bottle of very expensive oil on His feet, weeping as she did so. She used her hair to wipe the oil from His feet, and here's the thing—she used the whole container on Jesus.

We read in Scripture that this ointment was costly. How much are we talking here? It says it was worth about 300 pence which would equal the salary for almost an entire year of wages. Now if we convert this into modern currency, depending on whose math you choose to go with (there are many opinions), you're looking at a price tag of somewhere between $15,00 and $56,000 for this alabaster box of nard. That's a lot of money! Which brings this Bible verse to mind:

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21, ESV).

Our spending history reveals our hearts. This truth weighs heavily on me, revealing a lack in my heart for loving the LORD wholeheartedly. I hold back, and this is reflected in my spending which is why I know deep within my heart that I would only have used a little of that nard on Jesus and reserved the rest for another use. I'm unsettled by that truth and personally find it uncomfortable. I would love to think I would pour it all out on Jesus but I know myself well enough to know better.

What is it that may be holding you back from this type of extravagance? Maybe you would pour it all out, and if so, I want to be more like you. Or maybe like me, you would feel pretty accomplished and happy with yourself for giving a little bit of something so unbelievably expensive, thinking it was a sacrificial offering—but Jesus would know the truth. 

Mary's love for Jesus was evidenced in this act of worship. She didn't hold anything back from Him—she gave Him all of it. This shows her heart for Jesus, and how she properly understood His place in her life. Money wasn't greater than Him—she placed her own wants and needs under her worship of Him. Mary was a worshipper and this scene in Scripture gives us a front row seat to what that looks like.

God doesn't ask us to give gifts with a certain price tag, He just asks for our hearts. Not in part—but our whole heart. He is truly worthy of my heart and it saddens me to think of how often I reserve parts of it for other people or stuff. I don't do it intentionally, but when I stop to evaluate my own heart alongside the heart of Mary, I see myself falling far short. It's not wrong to love other people—in fact, as believers, we certainly should. But God should have the place of priority in my life and should be on the throne of my heart.

As I've thought of Mary's gift this week, it's humbled me. It's made me realize how far I fall short in my worship of Christ. I want to be more like Mary, yet the temptation to indulge myself often stands in the way. Jesus doesn't deserve being pushed down the totem pole while I place lesser things above Him. He is the Everlasting LORD—the King of kings. And all He asks of me is to love Him wholeheartedly. May that become more a more a reality in my heart and may it be reflected in my worship. 

If we want to be worshippers, we will have to remove the gods we place above Jesus—gods that have familiar names like money, comfort, materialism, sexual pleasure, food, and other worldly temptations. None of those will bring us the joy and satisfaction found in worshipping the only true God—Jesus. May our hearts be touched with how great His love is for us, and in return, may we worship Him with our whole hearts—hearts like Mary's. 

 

New Mercies

 Maybe you have a special place where you love meeting with Jesus to talk and just spend time together. For me—it's our neighborhood gated boat ramp. It's generally empty during the day so it's the perfect place to be outdoors, enjoy His beautiful creation, and have a good visit. If people saw me, they would likely think I'm crazy because I love to talk out loud—it just feels more real that way for me. And sometimes I sing—also good I'm alone down there. But this week on one of our visits, I enjoyed the truth from the book of Lamentations. The book title itself sounds negative and oppressing—but there are some really beautiful truths we don't want to gloss over. Like this well-known one which touched my heart this week:

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV)."

This is a truth I know in theory from reading Scripture, but it often slips my mind as I rise another day, unsure or sometimes anxious at what may lie ahead for me. But as I strolled through our boat dock I saw the truth of it all around me—and in me. This is what I saw:

There was the sun—same as yesterday, giving light for us to see. And it'll be there tomorrow as well. I crave the light and He gives it faithfully each day.

I saw deer scurrying through the woods in search of a tender leaf or fleeing from the disruption from my intrusion into their world. This happens day after day, and there they were again—doing all things deer. There are new opportunities in this day—new adventures and new food choices. He provides for them because He cares for His creation.

I saw my favorite blue heron—Baby Blue is what I like to call her. She's in search of fish as she soars above the waters surface scanning for one to rise close enough to swoop it out of the lake. She's been there for months and I plan to see her again tomorrow. She's not worried today that she won't have food tomorrow. She's enjoying the hunt of today without anxiety or worry.

And there's me. The past is behind me and I've made plenty of mistakes for sure. There's no reason He should want to meet with me here in this place, or any place for that matter. But I know He craves this time with me and He won't hold yesterday against me—He beckons me to start fresh today with repentance and appreciation for the grace He liberally bestows on me. New opportunities are in this day and He faithfully provides for me in ways I often fail to notice or give thanks for. 

What kind of God does this for us—for me? What is it in Him that gives me a chance, day after day, to start fresh? It's His love for me—a love bigger than I can understand. These times spent with Him are precious and special and I think the most awesome part of it all is that He enjoys this time with me! He loves giving me new mercies every morning and His very character is one of faithfulness! My thoughts aren't deep or complicated this week, but I hope that they may encourage any who have not met with Him as much lately to make some time for a really good visit. May your hearts be warmed by His new mercies and His faithful love—they are such precious gifts and give us the opportunity to lay aside the burdens and mistakes of yesterday, and embrace this new day! 

The Things that Got Better

 While it's true that somethings get worse with the passing of time, I'm thankful that some things get better. I can easily think of things that have gotten worse as I've grown up. For example, the change in social connection from the overuse of technology—there isn't anything like face-to-face interaction. Through written text, you miss the tone of the words spoken and the emotions of the person you're speaking to. In our era it's harder to develop communication skills that are vital to lasting, healthy relationships. 

My childhood days look so different from modern day childhood. We played outside until dark and were safe to ride our bikes a mile away and not have worried parents that we would be abducted or killed. Not that it never happened, but certainly less than today. We drank from water hoses, got spanked for misbehavior, and couldn't be contacted by our friends unless they phoned our home or rang the doorbell. It was a different world—one that was safer and in my opinion, a lot more fun. This is an area where change over the years was not for the greater good, and I think many would agree with that.

But I think back to thoughts from some Christians that were standard when I was younger that have changed for the better in many places around the globe. A "good" Christian was marked by their outward appearance much more than the state of their heart. Make-up was worldly. Women wearing pants raised eyebrows. Missing church for viable reasons was frowned upon. Jewelry—no! And on and on the list could go. So much of our christianity was placed on our physical appearance and not on spiritual transformation. Not that the inner heart won't spill over into our exterior, but too often being "godly" meant following a list of legalistic rules. Maybe you didn't grow up with this as the norm but many did.

While this is in no way excusing immodesty or irreverence, there is much to be said for turning away others by legalism (rules based on personal preferences). The true character of a Christian should be seen in how we communicate with others, compassionately seek to help and understand others, and lovingly share the gospel with those who are lost. It's displayed in the heart of one who seeks the good of others above themselves. It's in the acts of kindness toward strangers and loved ones alike. It's being the hands and feet of Jesus as we serve those we rub shoulders with. 

While I'm no longer a "young person", I find many of them refreshing these days. I see our own youth serving the Lord by reaching out to the younger kids in our community, teaching them about Jesus and showing a real care for them. I see them brushing away the "rules" of the past for something better—a heart willing to serve. I see them stepping up to help someone who needs encouragement, a babysitter, or help with a broken down car. I watch them and feel encouraged and hopeful that they are connecting with the call to be Christlike—loving and caring for the needs of others. And this does something to their outward appearance too—they exude joy. 

Some things do get worse with time, but I'm thankful for the things that get better. They give me hope and it warms my heart to see how all these centuries later, the Holy Spirit is still thriving in the hearts of many. Our world overall is certainly not improving and can discourage us when we see all that is happening around us, but God is still actively working and using His people to fulfill His purposes. May we place value on changed hearts over something less important. May we look closer than our outside judgments about another Christian and search instead for a changed life. And may we seek to have a heart like our Jesus and show kindness, grace and compassion to a hurting, sinful world. They need us, and they need God's love demonstrated through us and it should be our privilege to do just that.  

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast (Ephesians 2:8-9, ESV).

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path (Psalm 119:105, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to have gracious hearts that really see the hearts of others. May we push aside the temptation to pass judgment solely based on appearance, and may we ourselves have hearts that reflect Your light and love for others. May others identify us as Your children because of how we act. In Your name we pray, Amen.

 

Vine to Branches

 Endlessly scrolling through study after study, I realized I had completed most of what was available on the site I do much of my reading on. The same was true of the other app I use for my morning devotions. How many other people are there like this?—I thought to myself. This went on for a few months as God began to plant an idea in my heart. What if a team could be built that would offer short topical studies for both men and women—young and old. Single and married. A team that would share studies written from their hearts for the Lord that could be a blessing to others. What would it take to make this happen, and would God open the way for this idea to become a reality? How could I take an idea this large and make it actually happen? The key point here is this: it would take help from a small village, and God opening the doors in order for success.

A good friend of mine is great at this sort of thing. He is my go-to for all things "tech" related. I knew before I could even take another step that I needed to talk to him and get his take on whether this was a possibility or not. I definitely am incapable of building a website on my own, but I knew this particular friend's capabilities—he was my best chance at getting the ball rolling. By the end of our conversation I had an action list of 'to-do's' and felt greatly encouraged and excited. 

The biggest hurdle I faced was knowing I desperately needed writers—people willing to write for free;) Writing takes a lot of time and effort, and I knew it would take no less than 6-7 to get started. What  I love so much about V2B (our nickname) is how each person involved is a newbie. We are all forging into new territory and each one of these willing people that join our team are just precious people. They sure aren't in it for the money (although I get teased a lot about them wanting free swag) since we are currently a free website. And so each person involved writes from the heart, uploads and designs from the heart, posts from the heart and edits from the heart. 

God has opened doors for us in ways that make my heart so happy. We are still really small, but we have a team I am so proud of. We currently have 12 people that do writing for us, 3 that take care of social media, 2 that do editing and then the behind the scenes developer that takes care of our website. Without these wonderful humans our site would not be possible and I'm so thankful for them. 

Our name is taken from John 15:5 ("I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing"). Jesus is our Vine, and when we connect to Him, only then will we bear spiritual fruit. Being connected to our Vine is where true life is—He is the Source of it, and His Word is our instruction manual for living for Him. Studying, reading and praying are our pathways to knowing Him better and understanding His desire for us.

Our mission at Vine to Branches is simple:to provide material that will encourage and challenge people in their faith. We pray that even those who may not know the Lord may find answers here. We also pray that God will use our studies to be a source of hope to those who may experience similar trials our writers have faced. The message of the gospel and in living for Christ is the best news ever—we are privileged and honored to share it with the world. 

I don't share this information in any way as a desire for a pat on the back or any acknowledgment. What I do want to share is that God has a plan for each one of us, and when He lays things before us, what will we do with it? Sometimes the call seems bigger than we are capable of, but when it's from Him, He will supply the help needed to see it through. Our "following" is small, but our prayer is that as we pour out our work with open hands, that God will be pleased and use it for His glory—that God will take this small act on our part and allow the seed to fall on receptive ground. One day it may become clear that He is closing these doors, but until then, may we continue to labor together in this way, looking to Him for blessing and for guidance. 

*For any of you who do visit vinetobranches.com, we appreciate you. We are humbled by the sacrifice of your time, and for how you greatly encourage us. May God bless each one of you.

The Manipulation Game

 It starts as very young children—innocently enough initially until they figure out they own power over a caretaker. It's different than a new baby crying to signal hunger or discomfort, it's an action backed with intention. A temper tantrum is a clear sign of early stage manipulation—I'll scream and carry on until I get on your nerves so much that you'll give me what I want. As soon as you give them what they wanted to make the screaming stop, they think to themselves, "hey, that works!" And so it begins.

This behavior often follows us into our growing up years. We say things to manipulate a response: "If you really loved me, you wouldn't ground me for 3 weeks." The parents talk among themselves and reduce the punishment. They have in short, been manipulated. Why do we fall for this? Because our love is short-sighted and we don't enjoy punishing the people we love. By short-sighting our relationships though, we are failing to raise children who realize that A) sin has consequences, and B) manipulating us is not an option.

What is manipulation? It is defined as an action "to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner." (www.dictionary.com). The older we get, the better we often become at being manipulators. We learn what works with certain people and we skillfully use words or actions to influence them to do what we want them to do. This is a very damaging way to manage our relationships, and often leads to the parting of ways. If we manipulate our children, they are watching us and learning from our own behavior, thus, pouring this same manipulation into their own familial relationships. So, what do we do about it, and is there any hope to re-train ourselves to find value in differing opinions, behaviors and decisions other than what we prefer?

Manipulation is said by behavioral experts to be rooted in fear and insecurity. What we know from Scripture is that fear is not from God. ("For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline- 2 Timothy 1:7, NLT.") We also read in the Bible that there is no fear in love ("There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love- 1 John 4:18, NIV.) So we can surmise that fear is from Satan, and fear has no place in love. This poses a problem for allowing manipulation into our relationships as believers, and yet it is often prevalent in how we handle our kids, co-workers, and especially our spouse. 

Manipulation is a form of controlling others. When we practice controlling behavior, we are removing God from the equation. We may not be aware that we are essentially doing that, but isn't God the One who should be in control? Now here is another uncomfortable bit of truth. I've been a manipulator and I've been manipulated—and you have also played on both sides of the field. Some have a bigger struggle with it than others, but as believers, it's a behavior we need to eliminate from our lives. The only way we can even begin to tackle it is to understand that we have this problem and sincerely desire change. When we get to this point, only then is there hope for God to move in and work to change our hearts. When our hearts are changed, what flows from our words and our actions will also change as those are directly impacted by the state of our spiritual hearts.

If you recognize this damaging behavior in your own life, my prayer today is that you would acknowledge it, then learn to take it to the feet of Jesus. He longs to banish our fears and insecurities, and He promises to give us strength and help for anything we face. Depending on the severity and the root cause of our manipulative behaviors, we may find ourselves in need of counseling from a professional. But most of us can find what we need in Christ to kick this bad habit to the curb. May we allow God to purge us from using skillful influence to get what we want from the ones we love, because at the very core of it all, we are damaging our relationships. God, help us today to see ourselves with open eyes and open hearts, and be willing to allow You to work in us for our spiritual and relational good. 

Examples of Manipulative Behavior: (a very short list)

*Compliments before giving your parents your report card

*Withholding sex from your spouse over an argument

*Guilting your child to stay home because you're lonely

*Complimenting a co-worker so they do something that should be       your job to do

*Putting someone down to elevate yourself

*Pouting because your guy chose to play basketball instead of shopping   with you

*Crying to get out of a speeding ticket

*Using a loud, angry voice to intimidate

*Preaching a sermon that was tailored to jab at one person in the   congregation

*Misrepresenting a product to make a sale

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive us for this sinful, damaging behavioral pattern we often portray in our lives. Purge us from manipulation and help us to see how damaging it is to our relationships. Lord, may we remember that You are in control, and it is best left that way. In Your precious name we pray, Amen!

Lies We've Been Sold

I stood in front of my mirror the other morning and actually felt a little disgusted with myself. I blame Covid quarantine, but the truth is—it's rooted far deeper than that excuse. A little extra weight, gray roots and cellulite were enough to bring me frustration and a feeling of discontentment. We can't seem to see beyond the exterior, no matter how hard we wish we all could. "She's nice though", they say, which means she's lacking in less important ways. Does all of this resonate with you, or have you not "heard" what's expected of us—or so we've been disillusioned to believe?

The truth is, we've bought into the lies of Hollywood. It doesn't matter if I'm 50 because 50 is now the new 30. Really? Tell that to my body. If you aren't slim, dressed well, tan and have beautiful teeth and hair, you don't measure up. In fact, we have the audacity to say things like: "you could hardly blame him" when we lose the attention of our spouse. Do you know how ridiculous that statement is?  

This lie transfers to our relationships. There are those who choose a circle of friends that look a certain way or act a certain way—attractive and affluent. These relationships are often built on things that have no real lasting value and crumble when faced with adversity. The same is true of marriages. If they were based solely on looks and sexual attraction, they were built on a faulty foundation and won't be able to stand the test of hardship and the realities of life.

Who has ever thought their life would be better if they only looked better? There is a whole retail world full of proof that this is a common vein of thought. The fitness industry is also proof that we are a people who suffer greatly from insecurity. Yes—exercise is important, but oftentimes the sad reality is that we've bought into the perception that being fit is required for being loved and valued. So how do we combat the lies we've bought into and free ourselves from them? 

I'm going to share with you what God has to say about us, but understand that I'm in no way presenting to you that I'm free of insecurity myself. It's crazy to me how I can listen to the lies of Hollywood but refuse to believe the truth of my Creator. When I think of it that way, it honestly makes no sense. But on those days you may struggle yourself, with unwanted weight, thinning hair, wrinkles, or whatever it is you dislike about yourself (because we all have things we don't like), we can find comfort in God's Word. In It, we won't find condemnation for falling short of the world's standards; we will only find we are deeply loved and treasured by God.

First off—we are reminded from God's Word that outward beauty is not where it's at. Beauty fades and oftentimes produces vanity. What God sees as beauty is found inside of us. We may think to ourselves, "well, that won't get me married" but marrying someone based on our looks won't satisfy us or build a relationship that will last. What God sees as beautiful has to do with our hearts and our response to serving and loving Him. Here are a few scriptures that prove this truth:

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30)."

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious (1 Peter 3:3-4)."

I'm not sure about you, but I know for me, one of the joys of Heaven will be the relief found in laying aside the pressures of this world's standards. None of it will matter anymore, and none of what I invested myself in for furthering my outward beauty will follow me there. What will matter will be my inner beauty—or absence of it. Some of the most insecure people are those who seem to have everything on the outside but are empty inside. Let's make building up treasure in Heaven a greater goal than the effort we put in looking attractive on the outside.

For women especially, body image is a real struggle. We measure ourselves against 3-5% of the population considered "beautiful". The reality is, most of us don't fall into that tiny slice of the pie, but in God's eyes, all of that doesn't matter. What does matter is my heart. I hope, like me, you can remember these things when you have a morning where you feel overly critical of your flaws. I hope it helps you see yourself through God's eyes and releases you from the lies we've bought into. I hope that today, you remember how loved and treasured you are, and how you are made in the very image of God. 

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to see beyond the exterior and see what really matters in ourselves and in others. The world lies to us. Satan lies to us. But in You, we are loved and treasured. Thank You, Father, for that wonderful truth. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Heart of Mary

I distinctly remember the weeks following the birth of my firstborn son. I remember sitting with him on our couch, pondering many things about him. Where would those little feet travel? What would his first word be? What would his hands touch, and who would they provide for? I hung on every sound he made, listening intently for signs of distress. After two miscarriages, God had given me the treasure of this child, and I would love him forever. 

Even as I had these thoughts, I also thought about the bad things that would surely happen to him. I hoped his hands and feet would not lead him into trouble, but I also was wise enough to know they likely would. His mouth would say things that would be hurtful, because he was human. He would make choices I would not like and he would do things that would bring us disappointment. This is the normal course of life for us as fallible humans—falling and failing because ultimately, we are all sinners.

But Mary. Can you imagine the thoughts she must have had about her firstborn Son? As I've enjoyed readings of late of the Christmas story, Mary has spoken to my mother's heart. What must it have been like to mother the Savior of the world? The differences she would see in her Son must've been striking, and unlike anything she had ever heard about or seen before. It all began in the most unconventional way with a visit from an angel.

For the first decade and a half of Mary's life, she surely had been around other babies with their mothers. She surely saw the natural way that children want their way—temper tantrums and all. She surely saw them cry and whine and disobey. She would have watched as exasperated moms exercised discipline to alter the behavior of their disobedient children. But all of that would be absent in her mothering of Jesus, the Holy and Perfect Son of God. 

All of this would be included in the pondering of Mary's heart that we read about in Luke 2:19. In addition would possibly be the visits from the shepherds and the wisemen. The virgin birth would have also been admittedly astounding, yet would solidify the validity of this Child's title as Messiah. Simeon's message to them in the temple would also stand out in her mind. But aside from all of this would be the notable difference in His character and behavior, beginning at infancy.

What must it have been like to love Jesus as mother and Savior? I love how this same Scripture says she "treasured up all these things" as she pondered them. The thoughts of our sweet babies are thoughts we treasure. But even as we have many thoughts we treasure, we also know our children will bring us disappointment at some point along the way. They will make mistakes. They will disobey and need correction. But Jesus never did. 

As I enjoyed the thoughts Mary surely had, my heart was touched by the character of Jesus. Pure, holy, loving and kind. This Child would become the Bridge between us and God. He would offer Himself as a substitute for the punishment that should have been ours, because He deeply loved us. And for me, that conjures up quite a bit of pondering in my own heart for Jesus—our promised Messiah and Savior. Hope was woven into this Baby whom Mary treasured. Hope not only for Mary, but for me and for you. As Christmas has passed for another year, the real story behind it remains. And just like Mary, may I also treasure up thoughts of Him as I ponder Who He is, and the reason He came: to rescue sinners like me. 

But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart (Luke 2:19, ESV). 

And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart (Luke 2:51, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we are so grateful You came to rescue us and save us from our sin. May our hearts be like Mary's—touched with treasured thoughts of You. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Little Things Matter

     It was a cold, rainy night in downtown Atlanta. The street was dark and mostly deserted except for a few homeless people sitting on the sidewalk. He rounded the bend, anxious to be away from this area of town when he heard someone calling out to him. He was in a hurry and didn't really want to stop, but from somewhere deep inside him, he decided to listen to this man. In his eyes he saw a sadness and a hunger that touched his soul as he listened to the man's plea for a few dollars and a job. The money was the easy part, but the job—he wasn't likely to be serious about. Doubtful as he was he gave the man an address just a few streets over and asked him to come in the morning. He was in need of a few odd jobs, and this man said he needed work. If it didn't work out, no harm done.
     To his surprise, the man did show up the next morning and worked hard to accomplish a few random tasks. This continued for the next few weeks until it eventually turned into a regular position. This man got his life on track and was able to help his sick mother and provide for their needs. It is not the way the story often goes, but it all started with one little act of kindness. We never know the lives we can touch when we do small simple gestures for someone else. These little things can turn into really big things, bringing glory to God the Father.
     The flip side is we often get careless with our habits and behavior—small indiscretions with company finances. Unkind words said to our spouse. Holding a grudge. Shorting a customer of what they were promised. Overspending on unnecessary things when there are bills that need to be paid. These little daily actions may seem small, but with each indiscretion we become callous to what we are actually doing—disobeying God's Word (sin). We don't find ourselves in the middle of a relationship train wreck without first taking small steps in the wrong direction. No "big thing" that we become involved in is usually arrived at by surprise. We start down a slippery slope of little things that land us in hot water.
     Your little things really do matter, because our small actions have a huge impact on where we go from there. If our little things are honest, kind, careful, considerate, godly and good, we won't have to worry that our big actions will be hurtful and damaging. So let's open our eyes to what we are doing in the routine, seemingly inconsequential moments of our days and make it our aim to do these small things with a pure heart motivated by the goodness of our gracious Father. Give money to that person who's in need. Give your neighbor a listening ear. Hug your spouse after a hard day at work—lending care and support. Give flowers to a sick friend. Whatever it is—do it. Because we never know how God will grow our small acts of obedience and completely transform someone's day or maybe even their life. The truth is, our little things are capable of making a difference—dare to see what God will do with your little things.

"One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much (Luke 16:10, ESV).
Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you (Luke 6:38, ESV)."
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, guard our steps and keep us from disobedience. Help us instead to lend ourselves to others, giving and loving them with Your heart. Allow our eyes to see these small opportunities you open for us to show kindness, and we trust that You'll use these to do something bigger than we may ever know or imagine. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!

Loving Away Needs

     It was a cold, drizzly Sunday evening. His family was hungry and he didn't have enough money to feed them. Big, hollow, sad eyes looked at him. He was the family leader- the provider, and he had failed them all. Disability had robbed him of his ability to aptly provide, and they were in debt up to their ears. They had three kids- all in the growing up stage of life, where they seemed to be able to eat endless supplies of food. He hated to do it- but the church down the street may be able to help them.
     He pulled in to the parking lot and saw the service was just getting underway. He kept his family in the car and made his way inside. Ashamed and nervous, he was approached by a couple of the men who obviously attended this place of worship. After stating his situation, he hated looking up into the eyes of these men who saw him possibly as a beggar- because that's what he felt like in this moment. The men asked him to take a seat and they stood a ways away from him. He could see them- dressed nice, apparently well-fed, and clean. What must they think of him? He once looked very much the same as they did- but life had taken a hard turn, and the rest was history. 
    The men seemed to make a decision and came his way. They told him they would follow him to the nearest grocery store and purchase groceries to feed his family. No questions. No statements about why he didn't have a job. No feelings of judgment- just a kindness he was desperate for. Why would they help a perfect stranger- one who hadn't darkened the door of a church for many years? What led them to open their pockets to people they had never met before, or knew nothing about? The man had an idea of the answer, though, which is why he had come to this place- God. His grandma had believed in Him, and she had lived a life of sacrifice. She helped anyone who seemed to need it, and some who didn't. And she had always told him this was what servants of Jesus should live like- because we should love like Jesus loved.
     Jesus says that everyone is our neighbor. Each person we see with a need- our neighbor! Each person with a longing to be loved- our neighbor! Each person in need of forgiveness and grace- our neighbor! When we really understand this concept, it makes it a lot easier to let go of grudges. It makes it easier to open our pockets, our hearts, and our arms to those in need. And if we refuse, or allow someone else to do it in our place, we lose. We lose the chance to love like Jesus.
     The holidays are here- a time of giving and loving. Sometimes, the ones around us with the greatest needs, are the ones we live with. They may need words of encouragement, white flags of surrender, an apology with no strings attached, a tank of gas, a hot meal, a listening ear, a warm hug, or the gift of forgiveness. And when we meet these needs, let's then look a little further out from our homes and families, and see what other needs we can meet. This is written to you, yes, but it's also for me. I can get so wrapped up in all the things I want, and miss the fact that I'm surrounded by people who have needs I could meet. Not all of them will require money- in fact, often, they just require me to notice and care. God help me to be more like You; to allow Your love to flow from me. There would be no greater blessing than to have it said of me- "she loved." 

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 (ESV)
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; Romans 13:10a (ESV)
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Luke 6:35 (ESV)
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, there are so many around us in need. Some may need material things, but some may only need love. Help us, Lord, to love like You do- generously, unconditionally, intentionally and faithfully. May this season be a time to lay down any differences, and reach out to those we may be struggling with. May we be characterized as people with Your heart- willing to meet the needs of those around us, and even those who aren't. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

She's Prettier Than Me

     Comparison. The thief of self-confidence. The lurking doubt in our mind that we don't measure up. Women are notorious at playing this game, and it steals our joy and confidence. Men play it too, but they are known to give themselves a pass far sooner than we are. We are often our own worst enemy when it comes to our appearance. While we know as fact that we are created a masterpiece, in the image of God, our hearts lack the knowledge that this is actual truth.
     These are the words of our enemy, and they are likely present in your mind, no matter how aesthetically pleasing your features are:
She is prettier than I am.
I don't like my ______.
I would look better if only _____.
I would be more accepted if I ______.
Trust me. I know these phrases, because I've heard them over and over again in my own spirit. They hurt, and they cause fear, doubt and uncertainty. If you've been betrayed or rejected, they are louder than they ever were in the past. We all hear them though, so what do we do about it?
     It is absolutely true that God looks on the inward appearance, and finds our value there. But sadly, we live in a world that looks on the outside first, and then decides our value. It's a backward culture, but one we must learn to live in with a measure of confidence. Over-confidence is another subject altogether, and one we often link to vanity and narcissism. So what is the balance we hope to embrace, as children of God? How do we live with a sense of confidence that God made us beautiful, and accept that as truth with a humble spirit?
     If I claimed to have all the answers, I would be lying- because I still wrestle with these whispered words that cause self-doubt. I look in the mirror and notice my faults much more than any other physical feature I possess. So I write this to myself- and not just to you! If you're married, it's important to make an effort to look your best, but it's also important to know they love you when you look your worst. Yet the hardest reality we face is that we often feel less attractive, due to our opinion of someone we believe to be more attractive than we are. Women often allow this to cause feelings of insecurity and jealousy, especially in the face of sexual betrayal.
     If you are married or in a relationship, I want to encourage you to build up your partner. We have tremendous power to squelch the feelings of insecurity in our spouse by our words and actions. Another valuable resource we have to combat insecurity is to see what God has to say about us in His Word. God would not send His only Son to die for someone He deemed worthless. We know from scripture that God doesn't love us based on our physical appearance- in fact, He is far more interested in our heart. 
     Our beautiful Savior, Jesus, was described as One without majesty or beauty that we should be attracted to Him for His physical appearance (see Isaiah 53). Yet was there ever One more beautiful than our Lord? Real beauty flows from our heart- outpouring into our attitude, presence, words, and actions. And while we live here, we have a distorted view of beauty, failing to recognize the beauty that truly counts. God help us to shed our insecurities and embrace the heart of Your Spirit within us. Help us to turn our eyes from the mirror and instead, fasten them on You. May I, like You, look on the hearts of others, rather than assign worth on physical attributes. Forgive me, Lord, for often being critical of who You created me to be!

Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4 (ESV)
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 (ESV)
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to remember how You see me- precious and so loved. It's so easy to get sidetracked with beauty and vanity and miss real beauty- the beauty of a heart of loving devotion to You. In Your name I pray, Lord, Amen!

     

Welcome Home, My Love!

     I was at the airport the other day, and a touching scene played out before me. I don't know the back story, but what I saw made my eyes tear up a little. There was a little boy holding balloons with an older couple. A woman, whom I believe was his mother, walked in the airport and they flew into each other's arms. The mom had tears running down her face, and the boy kept looking up at her with a huge smile. A homecoming, played out right there in the airport, as I watched with a teary smile. That little homecoming brought out a memory of my own- a wonderful, happy memory that still brings me so much joy!
     It was a cold January, Monday night, earlier this year, and I was waiting at home for a visitor. Not just any visitor, a very special one- my husband. He didn't used to be a visitor- he used to live here, but in this period of time, he did not. We had just gone through a little over a year of absolute turmoil. An affair had wrecked our marriage, and seriously damaged my heart. But on this night, the worst of it was behind us. A few days earlier, God had reached the heart of my husband in the most miraculous way, and the result was spiritual restoration. This story wouldn't have happened without God's intervention; I know that in the very depths of my heart.
     I had no doubt that this time we were finally headed in the right direction, and while I was nervous for him to show up at our home, I was also very excited. I was excited because this was a homecoming of sorts- my husband was coming back to me! The lies, betrayal and deceit were behind us, and the present moment of this day was an incredible gift, because both of us knew how close we came to losing it all. Most of what we said, and what happened that Monday night is a treasure we share between only the two of us- a precious, tender blessing. But what I can tell you is that when he got out of his car, I was in the garage waiting, and what followed was the most touching scene of my entire life. Tears, hugging, prayers of thanksgiving to God, talking, and a love bigger than any love I've ever yet felt for him, were all components of that special evening. While Satan had hoped to destroy us- God stepped in and turned it all around! Sometimes I wonder why He gave me such an incredible gift, and yet He opens my eyes daily to what He plans to do with it. This was a healing homecoming- two hearts being knit back together after being torn apart. 
     I know another homecoming awaits me- one I look forward to with anxious anticipation. I can get pretty caught up in living, and I think it's something we naturally do. But while I'm here, I am living short of the very best homecoming I'll ever be a part of. One day, when my family and friends say goodbye to me, I'll be experiencing the most wonderful welcome of all time- Jesus will be welcoming me home! Sin and pain will be behind me, and only good things ahead! No more bad days. No more death. No more sickness or heartaches or worry. Safe in the arms of my Savior- forever home! And while my heart warms with the scene from the airport, and more so over the story that unfolded with my own dear husband, they are mere glimpses of what awaits me. One day, we'll never say goodbye again. We will finally be home at last. I hope to see you there- there is no place better than our heavenly home!

But, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him"- 1 Corinthians 2:9 (ESV)
In my Father's house are many rooms. If It were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? John 14:2 (ESV)
But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, Philippians 3:20 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we look with anticipation to Your second coming to take us home. While we love our earthly homes, and the joys we experience here, we know they pale in comparison to what awaits us in heaven. Until we are home, may we have the courage to share the way to heaven with others. In Your precious name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

See Them with Different Eyes

     You hear the conversation from the other room, and your whole world spins out of control. Can it be true? Doesn't cancer happen to other people and their families? We never thought it would part of our journey- not now! Or the phone rings, and you hear words you hoped you would never hear- "your husband had a heart attack, and has been taken by ambulance to the local emergency department. Please come right away." Or your son is in a serious battle with depression, and you are desperate to get him help! These are moments that forever change our lives, and we feel compassion and a strong desire to do anything possible for them. We long to alleviate their pain and assist them in their health crisis. 
     When health issues assault a loved one, we work hard to make life comfortable for them. We drive them to appointments, we lighten their work load, we buy them gifts, and offer them unlimited support. We shave our heads so they aren't bald alone, we encourage them to seek counseling, or try eating the same heart healthy diet. We cry with them, listen to them, and try our best to understand, on some level, the journey they are on. Why do we do it? Because we love them, and their pain is personal to us. Our compassion capacity is "all in" for them, and we make sure they know it.
     Why then, do we have such a hard time feeling compassion when the sickness isn't physical?. What about when the sickness is spiritual in nature? Why do we so easily walk away, offering little to those we claim to love? When we are able to see infidelity, among other spiritual struggles, as a real battle against our sinful flesh, it transforms how we see our spouse. Yes- what they have done has caused a great deal of pain, but it often wasn't intentional, but rather the result of the "slow fade" Casting Crowns sings about. 
     Many have asked, through our own journey through infidelity, how I felt about my husband during those difficult months and years. Choosing to feel bitterness and focus on the anger, would result in my own "slow fade". These feelings are not meant to be a part of who we are, as Christians, even though anger has its place in any affair. But when I chose to look on my husband with eyes of compassion for his fall, it changed my way of thinking altogether. This man that I loved, was in a crisis, and by golly, I wanted to help him! If we all walked away from those who have fallen and are broken, then we are quitters. We are prideful. We are hard-hearted. We are missing the call of the gospel. 
     If you know someone who has fallen away from their faith, struggling against their flesh and the devil, and walking in ways contrary to scripture, can I ask you to show them compassion? Pity and feeling sorry for them isn't the same being compassionate. Pity involves pride, while compassion understands our own ability to fall-  choose compassion over pity! They are spiritually sick, and they need help. They need love. They need wise counsel. They need a hug. They desperately need prayer. They need the body of Christ more than ever before. Please don't neglect those who are floundering in their faith. What I realized is this-  I am capable of the same fall. My sincere hope is that should it ever happen, you will faithfully pursue my restoration. Your help may not be accepted for a long time, or possibly ever, but God has called us to live out the gospel. This doesn't only pertain to the lost, but also to those who have fallen away. God never turns His back on us when we fail or fall, and I pray I will live out that same principle in my own life, regarding others! See them with eyes like Jesus, and you'll start to see that they look an awful lot like you.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, Colossians 3:12 ESV
"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12 ESV
Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 1 Peter 3:8 ESV
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God. Matthew 5:9 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, may we train our eyes to see others with compassionate eyes, like Yours. It's so easy to dismiss those who have hurt us, refusing to restore relationships, and seeking revenge, instead. Help us to see the hurting, even though they have hurt us, too. God, help us to draw alongside the spiritually ill, and love them through it. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen!

The Beauty of Scars

     I have an aunt whose face tells a story. Her sweet face, once very similar to my father's, is now full of scars. Years ago, she was in a very serious car accident and suffered multiple injuries to her face, resulting in scarring and a changed appearance. What you can't see, are the emotional scars- scars on her heart after losing her husband in that accident to a drunk driver on Valentine's Day. Yet one of the most beautiful features she possesses, is her positive attitude and bright smile. My aunt is a strong woman in many ways for what she has experienced in her life, and how she persevered with the strength of God.
     The older I get in life, the more drawn I am to scarred people. We easily spot the ones with physical scars, but emotional scars are revealed with more information. Whether it's the death of a loved one, sickness, parenting a wayward child, past addictions, caring for an elderly parent, infidelity, or other trials, these are people who are carrying around wisdom earned through their unseen scars. Just because we can't see the presence of them on their bodies, makes them no less real. 
     I have a friend, who in the darker days of our marital journey through the affair, gave me a gift. The gift was a beautiful stained-glass heart. On careful examination, you can see that the heart has a seam through the middle with iron stitch marks over the seam. She knew my heart had been broken, but she also knew that in time, it would heal. In the place of that break, a scar would develop as the break would seal together again. I remember holding that heart, wishing to speed the process of those "stitches", yet God has shown that His timing is purposeful, and ultimately good. Today, I have that beautiful red, glass heart hanging on the wall in my kitchen, where I can be reminded that yes- I was broken, but today, I'm full of some stitches, and receiving more!
     Society tends to shy away from scars. We feel uncomfortable looking at the physical effects of those who have endured extreme pain, yet survived. Burn victims show a vivid picture of how susceptible our bodies are to injury. Yet the person is still there- just the same, but with scars. Don't be afraid to be a friend to scarred people. The only difference is that they journeyed through some painful circumstances, yet here they are today! Scars are beautiful, as they are the mark of a survivor. They also are people who have learned to find strength in something or Someone greater than themselves. 
     I have many scars that you can't see, and I bet you have some too! The loss of two pregnancies left some pretty painful ones in my spirit. No parent has raised their children without gaining a few either- we all make mistakes and have our struggles. And infidelity. It left a pretty painful scar you would never know about if I chose to hide it. How many around us are hurting? We may never know if we don't take time to really know them. If they are scarred, they likely have some wisdom to offer. And remember that scars aren't ugly, they are proof that we lived through something difficult. May all of us scarred people have the courage to share our experiences, and the valuable lessons we learned through them. And my prayer is that you would each know my Heavenly Father, who has carried me through each painful experience and in the process, is making me more like Him. He is full of scars too, but His are for me and for you- and those scars make Him so beautiful, for they bought our freedom!

See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have." Luke 24:39 ESV
But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5 ESV
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, give us eyes that are compassionate towards those who have scars. And give us courage to share ours with others, and the wisdom we gained through acquiring them. May I use my scars to point others to You- the One Who bears the scars of the cross. The marks on Your body bought my freedom, and I thank You for paying such a great cost. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!


     

Broken

     I've heard it said of others, and often wondered exactly what it looked like when someone was "broken". Yes, in many ways, that can be said of us when we come to the point of accepting salvation from our Heavenly Father. But what about after that, when we fall and find ourselves deeply entrenched in sin? How long will God allow us to stay there, and what will it look like when we come to the breaking point? Will it be obvious? Will others notice the change?
     When my husband fell to adultery, I prayed countless times throughout every day that God would break him and change his heart. And a few times along the way, I thought maybe He had, but let me tell you- when it happens, it's so obvious! The end result of those days where God convicted and changed the heart of my husband ended in brokenness. It wasn't subtle. It wasn't vague- no, it was a complete change of heart, and a change with God's name stamped all over it. In short, it was nothing less than a miracle!
     When my husband was involved in the affair, his eyes had a hardness to them I had never seen before. But when I saw my husband after he was broken, his eyes were full of peace. The hard edge to his face was replaced by a softer, kinder look. And the moment I saw him, we fell into each other's arms with many tears of sorrow for what we had been through, and joy with for what God had done to bring us to this place. The absolute reality was this - he was forever changed, just as he stated in his deliverance story! That evening will forever be one of my most treasured memories.
     If you are a child of God and living in a lifestyle of sin, God won't leave you alone. You may not hear Him for stretches of time because you choose to drown out His voice, but He will relentlessly pursue His wayward children. I knew God would not give up on him, even though at times, my faith wavered. I prayed desperately for a changed heart- a heart that remembered Who God is, and a desire for lovingly serving Him. Because when we make God our priority, and read His Word, we will find our other relationships fall into a better place. 
     I will forever be grateful to the Lord for breaking my husband! While it was the most difficult trial we have faced to date, I have faith that God will use us in sharing our story with the world! Our story is a story that speaks of God's redemption. We pray it will point others to our Source of strength and hope, Jesus Christ- the Author of forgiveness, hope, and abundant grace!

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51:17 ESV
For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: "I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite. Isaiah 57:15 ESV
But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for relentlessly pursuing us when we wander from Your way and will for us. I praise You for the work You have done in our marriage, and for breaking our will when it opposes Yours. Your grace and mercy are gifts we often take for granted, and yet when we see them demonstrated in this way, they are precious gifts to us, dear Lord. We love You for Who You are, and for what You are doing, and for giving Your life for ours. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Social Withdrawal

     For as far back as I can remember, I have been a very social person. I love get togethers, talking with friends and family, coffee with a friend, or going somewhere with a group of people. Being alone has its place, but I like it in small doses (and in broad daylight;). I have never been accused of being a loner or recluse, but when our marriage faced infidelity and my husband left, I changed.
     I don't know if it's "normal" or considered customary in cases of separation and infidelity, but I know that for me, I socially withdrew. I had no clue what to say to people, and I didn't want to face their questions or pity. Somedays I handled it better than others, but other days I wanted to lock myself in my room for the entire day. Initially, I would sit on my couch for hours and wonder how this happened. I would read my Bible for hours on end and journaled verses that I found especially helpful. On my couch, I felt safer, and my family teased me about getting up, and out. 
     If you have been betrayed by your spouse, and were separated, you may know what I experienced. It was completely out of character for me, yet it was my unique way of trying to deal with a situation I never imagined would be mine. In many ways, it was an avoidance of enjoying life and moving forward. I felt so sad and heartbroken that I had little interest in doing things that used to bring me joy. Such a big part of who I had been for the past 25 years was wrapped up in my husband, and who we were together. Learning to be separate from "us" was difficult, and it was hard for me to find my way.
     While I avoided family functions, conversations with mutual friends in the grocery store, and other social situations, I found immense comfort in drawing close to the Lord. I felt Him with me, and I craved His soothing presence. Even though I felt alone in many ways, I was vividly aware of how He was present with me. It wasn't that I didn't have people that sat on my couch with me, because I did. My sister, daughter, and niece or nephew spent many hours of many days and evenings on it with me. But moving out of my safety zone was difficult for the first 6 months or so. Eventually, with the encouragement of others, and prodding from the Spirit, I was able to slowly come out of my social withdrawal, and begin the process of finding who I was, without him. The more I came out amongst others, the more I saw how many of us there were. And God began opening my heart to see my situation as a ministry of sorts. If you have been called to walk a difficult road in your life, look around you. There are those who are hurting, and need encouragement, a listening ear, and a friend. Our ministry as christians, is to reach out to those around us with a need. We have been given a unique opportunity to use our journey through a situation, as a way to show others the hope found in our Heavenly Father. And each of you that needed me, well- I thank you for helping me along my own path to healing, and restoring my "social butterfly" status!  

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15 ESV
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. Acts 20:24 ESV
And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here am I! Send me." Isaiah 6:8 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for helping me overcome social withdrawal. I thank You as well for sending those who encouraged me in my darkest times. I pray that You will give me a heart of compassion for those who have walked my journey, and offer them the hope I found in You. Help me to see the needs of others who are searching for answers, and may I always direct them to You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
     

His Story- Buried in Lies

     Have you ever found yourself caught in a lie? We have to all be honest here- we all lie. It's not okay, and it's doesn't make it excusable, but we are all guilty. It's an uncomfortable moment, to know you are caught, and yet we seldom just raise our hand, and say- I'm sorry, I lied. Instead, we usually tell another one to try to get out of the first. It's an ugly cycle, for sure. When it comes to infidelity, everything is pretty much a lie.
     An affair is not based on truth. We tell lies, or lies of omission, to cover up the truth. The simple act of slipping off a wedding ring to deceive, is a lie. Leaving out details of my marriage and family, is dishonest. Telling my wife lies to hide my actions became second nature. It was an ugly and exhausting place to live- a world of disillusionment. This was not what I had been saved for- rather it had been what I was saved from! And here I was, shrugging back into the cloak of sin and evil. 
     I have always been known by others for my integrity and honesty, and for the truth of who I had become to be uncovered, made me very uncomfortable, and shattered my image and self-esteem. The truth is this- lies are humbling. I had lived too long in a place of pride and dishonesty, and living a double life would eventually bring me to the bottom. 
     It's hard to lose respect of those who loved me the most, and yet it was because of my own actions. There wasn't a time I was comfortable with my actions or the lies I was telling, and yet I continued to do it out of selfishness. It took a long time for me to see what was driving me to this out-of-character behavior, but the bottom line was simply a selfishness that had no place in the life of a believer.
     You may struggle with lies as well, and find it hard to keep track of what you have said. Lies hurt those that love us, but they also hurt our Heavenly Father. Lies need to be confessed in order to be forgiven. If you are the one deceiving, own up to it and allow God to help make things right. If you have been hurt by the lies of your spouse, I pray you will get the apology you so deserve. But if you don't, you can still find freedom in forgiving them without ever receiving an apology. You can't ever make a marriage reconcile this way, but if reconciliation isn't possible, freedom always is. I am so grateful for the grace of God, for without it, I would be lost forever. His grace makes all things possible, and the grace shown to me by my wife was a gift I couldn't understand, apart from her knowing the heart of our Savior. I am thankful to share my journey with you, and pray that through my sin and betrayal, I can point you to the only One that can erase it all, and give hope and life through His Son!

Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who act faithfully are his delight. Proverbs 12:22 ESV
Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Colossians 3:9-10 ESV
For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to live in truth, and to let my words be acceptable in Your sight. Forgive me for lies, deceit, and selfishness. Help to restore my relationships, and to be a man after Your heart. I thank You for grace, and second chances. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Counting my Blessings

     When life borders on the miserable side, it's helpful to back up, and make a mental note of what I am grateful for. As a human, I tend to dwell on the negative issues I am facing, and fail to appreciate the positives. As Christians, we are encouraged to embrace our trials, recognizing their ability to draw us closer to Christ, but my flesh often gets in the way.
     My brain was saturated with my situation, and what the outcome would be. I worried about my husband, I struggled with insecurities, I feared the future, I wondered about finances, I felt for my children, and I wished for a different life journey. I felt anger at times, and frustration at other times. I longed for the second coming of Christ in a new way- a way to escape this mess. I cried often, I prayed fervently, I hoped and pleaded. This was my way of life for longer than I wished. Living in this state is not experiencing the joy the Lord offers us- a joy that is not dependent on our circumstances. 
     If you are walking in the more difficult areas of your life story, join me in looking for the many blessings we have, despite the heartache and pain. I have so many blessings, and I don't want to miss them, even amidst hard times. I don't want to live a life lacking thankfulness for the good things I am given, because I am too focused on the harder things. 
     When I step back, and look at my whole life picture, the painful parts of my story are much shorter than the joyful moments. Yes, the painful parts will forever change me, and I pray they change me for the better. I know that God will use those experiences to allow me opportunities to reach in and help others, that will walk similar roads. And honestly, that is also a blessing. 
     We will all feel heartaches and disappointments in life, from time to time. But if we can, in those moments, look to the One Who has blessed us in other areas, we can take a little breath and thank our Heavenly Father for the things we are able to enjoy. It doesn't make the pain go away, and it often doesn't change our circumstances- but it can change our perspective! I want a perspective that focuses on the good things He has given me, and the promises He has made. I can remind myself of the truth found in Jeremiah 29:11- He has GOOD plans for me! 

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, Psalm 103:2 ESV
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 ESV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, Ephesians 1:3 ESV
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, when my days are hard and painful, help me to look for the good You have given me. Focusing on the heartache and pain is exhausting and steals my energy and joy. Help me literally count my blessings, and remember to thank You for them. You have been so good to me, and I am thankful. Give me a grateful heart, In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!