When people do bad things to us, we like to get even. You hurt me; I'll hurt you. People misuse the biblical truth of "an eye for an eye" to retaliate when someone hurts us. But when we really know the whole picture of His Word, it couldn't be further from the truth. But I've been there, and I've done it. And I'm betting you can relate, because that's our nature.
I started this behavior as a little child with my siblings. If you hit me, I'll hit you back, and hopefully a little harder than you hit me. I carried it with me into my school years, where a friend would say something I didn't like, so I snapped back. Or there were even times when I just didn't like someone, for no particular reason, so how about I do or say something that will upset them, or hurt their feelings? I'm ashamed to say I'm guilty. And guess what? It didn't stop when I was a teenager- I have carried it into my adult relationships as well.
We get a little better at disguising it when we get a little older. If I don't like something you did, I may push you away to make you "pay". If I don't like something you said, I may use your words against you in the future to get a little dig in. Because the bottom line is, I'm selfish, and more interested in making myself feel good, than to make others feel good. And this carried over into my marriage. Can you relate?
I remember times when I wasn't getting my way in my marriage, or wasn't being heard, so I decided to do something "just for spite." You know, you only get momentary pleasure from that behavior, and then the Holy Spirit (if you're listening) will bring a feeling of remorse. In the end, I never felt great afterwards, and it showed a spirit of spiritual immaturity and selfishness. I can even think of examples in my parenting where their behavior had an uncalled for response from me to make them "sorry" for what they did or said. I'm not talking about proper discipline, because I'm a big advocate for that. I'm talking about preferences that didn't cater to what I really wanted.
Can you think of times when you did things for spite? Our spite hurts others, and is never the right approach to a wrong action taken against us. I am so thankful I love and serve a God Who doesn't play the games we play. If He were ever to get even with me, I can't tell you where I would be- but I can tell you I would not have a heavenly home. While it was my human nature to be spiteful towards my unfaithful spouse, it should not be in my spiritual nature. The very foundation of a christian life is found on the principles of grace, mercy and forgiveness. These attributes won't come easy for us, but when we follow the example of Jesus, we will extend them, rather than use spiteful behavior.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." Romans 12:19 ESV
Do not say, "I will repay evil"; wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22 ESV
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 ESV
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, keep my heart and mind from spiteful thoughts and actions. Help me to exercise grace, love, and mercy demonstrated by Your Son. May I learn to be patient and kind to everyone, and especially to those who hurt me. Teach me Your ways, and help me to live a life that pleases You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Showing posts with label revenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label revenge. Show all posts
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Wednesday, January 30, 2019
Caught in the Act
We have all seen movies, or maybe read a book about a couple found while committing adultery. Or maybe it hits closer to home- and you were the one that discovered them. Extreme emotions arise- emotions of anger and shock. We want to drag the adulterer out, and find a way for justice and even humiliation.
I can see myself, standing among the accusers. How dare this person dishonor me in this way? I'm hurt, and want revenge. Who will help me find the justice I am seeking for my betrayer? I have many who are angry with me. Every single one accompanying me wants this sinner to pay for the offense, and carries stones to throw at him. We bring the betrayer to a Man, sitting in the temple. We tell Him of what this person has done. Isn't it punishable to a high degree? This is a direct disobedience to one of the basic Ten Commandments- surely He will help us. He is known to many as One who has great authority.
The Man doesn't say anything. It's crazy, that He would just sit there. If He had seen what I saw, and felt the things I felt, surely He would help me. I look at my spouse with disapproval, and even something deeper- disdain. The more I argued my case, I began to see the others, drop their stones and slowly walk away. One by one they left me standing there with my husband, and this Man. How could they leave me, when they were supposed to be my friends? I felt betrayed by them as well. And so I looked at this Man, as He began writing in the sand with His finger.
And in the silence, I began to reflect on my life. This Man was quiet, yet His eyes caused me to begin a good self assessment. And it's as if a screen begins to unfold before me. I see myself telling lies to those who love me. I hear my voice whispering "I hate you," when I was punished by my loving parent. I see my hands hit my very own brother. I see myself make a choice to touch someone I shouldn't. I hear my thoughts daydream of killing someone that wronged me. I see myself drawn to sexual sin. I turn my back on those that are poor, and in need of help. I hear myself scream at my child that needed my attention, rather than disapproval. I disciplined out of anger. I spoke against my husband. I failed to show love to a neighbor. I judged other people's sins, and failed to see the severity of my own. And tears began to slip down my face. I turned to look at my spouse, and I no longer see him with anger. I look at this Man, and I feel loved, rather than judged. And I silently turn, let the stone drop from my hand, and leave this Man with my husband. And I walk away convicted of my own sin, and lovingly aware of overwhelming grace received from this Man, called Jesus.
***This is a story found in John 8:1-11. I have used it for the setting of my own story, to show how Jesus sees each one of us, carrying our own stones against our betrayers. I pray you'll join me, in having the courage to release your grip on the stones, and reflect on God's grace towards you <3
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, Matthew 5:44 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, it's so easy for me to see the wrong in my betrayers, and want retribution. What was done was wrong, and it hurt me. And yet when I am drawn to look closely at my own heart, I am convicted of my own story of sin, hurt and betrayal. Help me to drop any stone I may wish to cast at others, and offer the grace You offer me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
I can see myself, standing among the accusers. How dare this person dishonor me in this way? I'm hurt, and want revenge. Who will help me find the justice I am seeking for my betrayer? I have many who are angry with me. Every single one accompanying me wants this sinner to pay for the offense, and carries stones to throw at him. We bring the betrayer to a Man, sitting in the temple. We tell Him of what this person has done. Isn't it punishable to a high degree? This is a direct disobedience to one of the basic Ten Commandments- surely He will help us. He is known to many as One who has great authority.
The Man doesn't say anything. It's crazy, that He would just sit there. If He had seen what I saw, and felt the things I felt, surely He would help me. I look at my spouse with disapproval, and even something deeper- disdain. The more I argued my case, I began to see the others, drop their stones and slowly walk away. One by one they left me standing there with my husband, and this Man. How could they leave me, when they were supposed to be my friends? I felt betrayed by them as well. And so I looked at this Man, as He began writing in the sand with His finger.
And in the silence, I began to reflect on my life. This Man was quiet, yet His eyes caused me to begin a good self assessment. And it's as if a screen begins to unfold before me. I see myself telling lies to those who love me. I hear my voice whispering "I hate you," when I was punished by my loving parent. I see my hands hit my very own brother. I see myself make a choice to touch someone I shouldn't. I hear my thoughts daydream of killing someone that wronged me. I see myself drawn to sexual sin. I turn my back on those that are poor, and in need of help. I hear myself scream at my child that needed my attention, rather than disapproval. I disciplined out of anger. I spoke against my husband. I failed to show love to a neighbor. I judged other people's sins, and failed to see the severity of my own. And tears began to slip down my face. I turned to look at my spouse, and I no longer see him with anger. I look at this Man, and I feel loved, rather than judged. And I silently turn, let the stone drop from my hand, and leave this Man with my husband. And I walk away convicted of my own sin, and lovingly aware of overwhelming grace received from this Man, called Jesus.
***This is a story found in John 8:1-11. I have used it for the setting of my own story, to show how Jesus sees each one of us, carrying our own stones against our betrayers. I pray you'll join me, in having the courage to release your grip on the stones, and reflect on God's grace towards you <3
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, Matthew 5:44 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, it's so easy for me to see the wrong in my betrayers, and want retribution. What was done was wrong, and it hurt me. And yet when I am drawn to look closely at my own heart, I am convicted of my own story of sin, hurt and betrayal. Help me to drop any stone I may wish to cast at others, and offer the grace You offer me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
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