Just for Spite

     When people do bad things to us, we like to get even. You hurt me; I'll hurt you. People misuse the biblical truth of "an eye for an eye" to retaliate when someone hurts us. But when we really know the whole picture of His Word, it couldn't be further from the truth. But I've been there, and I've done it. And I'm betting you can relate, because that's our nature. 
     I started this behavior as a little child with my siblings. If you hit me, I'll hit you back, and hopefully a little harder than you hit me. I carried it with me into my school years, where a friend would say something I didn't like, so I snapped back. Or there were even times when I just didn't like someone, for no particular reason, so how about I do or say something that will upset them, or hurt their feelings? I'm ashamed to say I'm guilty. And guess what? It didn't stop when I was a teenager- I have carried it into my adult relationships as well.
     We get a little better at disguising it when we get a little older. If I don't like something you did, I may push you away to make you "pay". If I don't like something you said, I may use your words against you in the future to get a little dig in. Because the bottom line is, I'm selfish, and more interested in making myself feel good, than to make others feel good. And this carried over into my marriage. Can you relate? 
     I remember times when I wasn't getting my way in my marriage, or wasn't being heard, so I decided to do something "just for spite." You know, you only get momentary pleasure from that behavior, and then the Holy Spirit (if you're listening) will bring a feeling of remorse. In the end, I never felt great afterwards, and it showed a spirit of spiritual immaturity and selfishness. I can even think of examples in my parenting where their behavior had an uncalled for response from me to make them "sorry" for what they did or said. I'm not talking about proper discipline, because I'm a big advocate for that. I'm talking about preferences that didn't cater to what I really wanted. 
     Can you think of times when you did things for spite? Our spite hurts others, and is never the right approach to a wrong action taken against us. I am so thankful I love and serve a God Who doesn't play the games we play. If He were ever to get even with me, I can't tell you where I would be- but I can tell you I would not have a heavenly home. While it was my human nature to be spiteful towards my unfaithful spouse, it should not be in my spiritual nature. The very foundation of a christian life is found on the principles of grace, mercy and forgiveness. These attributes won't come easy for us, but when we follow the example of Jesus, we will extend them, rather than use spiteful behavior. 

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." Romans 12:19 ESV
Do not say, "I will repay evil"; wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22 ESV
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 ESV
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, keep my heart and mind from spiteful thoughts and actions. Help me to exercise grace, love, and mercy demonstrated by Your Son. May I learn to be patient and kind to everyone, and especially to those who hurt me. Teach me Your ways, and help me to live a life that pleases You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!