Forgive and Forget?

        I have a long trail of transgressions behind me that I simply don't remember- they were trivial in nature, and with 49 years of living and forgiving, who could recall them all? I've forgiven lies, backstabbing, gossip, fist fights (siblings only), and hurt feelings. I've given no less than I've received when it comes to hurting others. And while many of them are long forgotten, plenty of them are still fresh in my mind. 
     For all of you that love me, and know me well, I hope you still do when I tell you a story from my childhood. I was number two in a sibling pack of four. At any moment in time, any of us could be the one the others turned on, and I well remember a few times we turned on our littlest- my youngest brother, Daniel. We sound pretty uncivilized when I say we occasionally "dog piled our brother." Maybe it was because he screeched the loudest, and Mom always got after us when he did (and might I add he would smile at us behind her back when we did get it). But I recall my older sister, my other brother, and I waiting for him to come downstairs where we "jumped" him. My idea was to rub a nylon hairbrush on his arm, which I'm sure, felt awful! Just to clarify a little, we were all very young, and he didn't bleed. But in this moment, I needed forgiveness, but I didn't forget what I did all these years later, and maybe he hasn't either. 
     The thing is, we all have hurt others- and especially those we love the most. And while we may forgive them, we often can't forget the hurtful words or actions. They are locked away in our memory because they were painful enough to remember. Infidelity is like that. While we can forgive and move on, we don't forget what we came through, and how it changed us. Forgiving means we no longer hold the offense against the one that hurt us, but to forget doesn't seem possible when the hurt goes that deep. And I think it's important not to forget the valuable lessons we learned through our own journey, while forgetting the offense. The lessons learned help guard us in our "today moments", and helped strengthen our marriage and our relationships with one another and our Lord. I'm truly thankful for the lessons God taught us through our own story, and am certain He will use them for good. Yes, we forgave, but we also remember.
     That's what makes us so unlike God. When you think about it, every sin committed in all of history, is against Him. The hairbrush rubbing, the affair, the fighting, the lying, the hurting- every one is against Him. Should my sins be tallied up, I would cringe in embarrassment at how awful I really am. But on the cross, many years ago, my sins were washed away with the holy, precious blood of Jesus- forgiven forever! And not only did Jesus forgive my sins, but He chooses not to recall them. He doesn't assign my sins to me anymore, labeling me by them- which is such an amazing gift. While we look on others and remember the hurtful words or actions they did to us, He chooses not to do that. When we think of how God does this for us, I feel shame for what I choose to remember. While it's wise to remember the lessons learned from past hurts, it's grace that allows me to let go of the offense, and never again place that label on the offender. "God help me in all ways, to be more like You."

"I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Isaiah 43:25 ESV
Then he adds, "I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more." Hebrews 10:17 ESV
For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more." Hebrews 8:12 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I often don't realize just how far I fall short of being an example of Your Son, Jesus. Help me, Father, to not only forgive, but to forget the offense, while remembering the lessons learned from it. Help me to never assign labels to others that are human, just like me. We all sin because we are not perfect or holy. Help me to love others and forgive the way You do, Lord. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen!