Sometimes life is hard because I want my own way and I forget about serving others. The popular way of the world is to make myself happy, and to be honest, I often buy into this mindset, even while having the best of intentions not to. I want it all- that perfect husband, perfect life, and perfect marriage, and since that can never happen in an imperfect world, I can find myself discouraged and restless. Have you been there, friend? Do you often find yourself doing more wishing than being simply grateful for what is?
There isn't a better time than now to do a little soul searching in life. Amid the chaos and unrest resulting from Covid19, we've been given something many of us normally run short on- time to reflect. While we won't have a normal Easter this coming weekend, the basic truths of why we celebrate it can't be changed by circumstances. And when I think of the cost of my own spiritual freedom and eternal life, I feel ashamed of this constant pursuit of wanting. Because at the core of my spirit, I am honestly never truly satisfied when I'm hungering for things of this world. I'll never have enough. I'll always yearn for more if I lose sight of this simple truth: only Christ can satisfy.
It's not wrong to have dreams and goals. It's not wrong to want a better life for our family. It's not wrong to want a home and a good marriage. But it is wrong to make my life about pursuing "things" over pursuing Jesus. And if I'm honest, I often find myself failing here. I find myself feeling jealous of people that can travel the world, wear a size zero (like, does that mean they don't exist?), live on the tropical shores of the Caribbean, and never worry about bills. This part of me isn't who I wish to be, and it shows a lack of gratefulness for the blessings God has given me!
And so it's time for me to do a little focus shifting, as I think of the sacrifice of Jesus at Calvary. He went willingly to the cross to die for my sins. He suffered and paid the price in order to redeem me. He laid down His own life out of a love greater than any I could ever understand. And on the third day, He rose from the dead- claiming victory over the grave. And then, then.. He asks us to remember Him. To serve Him. And He taught us how to do that as He washed the dirty feet of His disciples. We can serve Him when we serve others. And that's where I often get turned around in life, because I'm serving me instead of my husband. I'm serving me over my church family. I want my own way instead of His way. And that's not how it's supposed to be.
If you're possibly also struggling at times in life to feel truly satisfied, the answers are likely the same- we are too focused on ourselves to appreciate what we have already been given. And I'll be the first to say I'm ashamed that it's true of me. So today, I'll choose to see the great things I have: a loving, caring, hard-working husband. Kids that love me and love Jesus. A home that while beautiful on the outside, is also a warm and inviting place to hang my hat. And this is just a smaller part of the countless blessings I enjoy. But the biggest blessing of all is what we are about to celebrate- my own redemption from what our Lord accomplished at Calvary. When I slow down and take time to really reflect, I'm much less restless and so much more thankful. I realize how easily I get sucked into the mentality of our world, and I feel shame. Dear Jesus, help me to have eyes that see like You see. A heart that loves and serves like You did. Because when I do, I'll see the beauty all around me, and forsake the foolish pursuit of satisfying myself.
Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. 1 Corinthians 10:24 (ESV)
For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. Psalm 107:9 (ESV)
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, forgive me for so often seeking to satisfy my own flesh and desires, and miss the blessings You have given me. Help me to learn from Your own example, the life of serving others. May I remember, each day, how satisfaction will never be found outside of You. In Your name I pray, Amen!
If there is anything our modern world struggles with, it's learning to be content with what we have. We always want more. We want better. We want something we don't have. A small dose of this means we have goals to achieve something greater than we are currently experiencing. But if we are unappreciative of what we have in this moment, we are missing the mark. The Apostle Paul made a remarkable statement, considering his circumstances. This is the statement he made: "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." (Philippians 4:11 ESV).
Paul wrote this statement during a very difficult time for him. He had been in prison for two years in Rome. He wasn't treated well, nor was he being held there for acts that would actually be considered "criminal". He had been beaten and mistreated. In our flesh, we see this as reason to be unhappy and angry. Paul learned something we should really try to learn ourselves- joy isn't circumstantial when you have Christ. Paul didn't consider this world to be "home", but rather a place of opportunity for building up the kingdom of Christ.
Life can bring about some pretty frustrating and heartbreaking situations. Our work can leave us feeling unappreciated and stressed. Our relationships can bring about pain and sadness. Our marriages can break our hearts. We may struggle to pay bills. We may want more than what we have. And while these are legitimate feelings we face, they shouldn't steal our contentment in Christ. We don't want to be entitled Christians. God doesn't owe us anything- certainly not material comfort. Jesus didn't have material comfort while He lived here, so we shouldn't feel like we are owed that from Him.
When it comes to infidelity, it is clear that discontentment led to the decision to betray a spouse. Often, it's not even discontentment with a spouse, but with ourselves. We become unhappy with our current state and want something better. The answers in looking for "better" will never be found outside of His best for us- and that won't ever include infidelity. If you're sitting inside of a marriage that doesn't thrill you, apart from abuse, look inside of yourself. Will making some personal changes for the better lead you to a healthier marriage? Being "content" doesn't mean that when we are living outside of His purposes for us, we don't make some changes. It doesn't mean that we don't try to improve our situations. But what it does mean is to appreciate the good in your current situation, seeing the blessings God has given you in this moment.
If you are stuck in a situation that is sapping your joy, Paul would ask you to consider what is ahead for you. We can get so focused on the here and now, and forget about our eternal destination- our forever home. Did I feel joy when my marriage was a mess? To be honest with you, I struggled with this same truth from Paul for quite some time. But I learned that I had to trust that God would turn the "bad" of my present, into "good" in the future. I had to come to grips with the fact that my joy couldn't be stolen by circumstances if it's firmly rooted in Christ and all that He offers. People can't make me content. A job can't make me content. A home and material goods can't offer contentment. Contentment is only found in Jesus Christ- He gives us so much more than the fleeting comforts this world offers. I want to be like Paul, and be happy and content in this place of of my life, enjoying the good things God has chosen to bless me with, and not focusing on what I'm missing out on.
Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 ESV
Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 1 Timothy 6:6-8 ESV
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for my selfish and greedy ways. My heart always wants more, and I forget to be content in this moment of my life. Help me to be truly thankful for the things You've blessed me with, and to never feel unthankful when I want more than You've given me. Help me to live with the attitude of the Apostle Paul, understanding that true contentment can only be found in You. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen!
