Comfortable Me

 It had been a long day full of working in the yard in the North Carolina heat. Our heat is heat you swim around in—thick, humid and dehydrating. My body finds extremes harder and harder as it ages and a whole day on my feet against the elements quickly saps my energy. But all along I kept pushing myself while I mentally reminded myself that at the end of it all, there would be rest and comfort.

Shedding my sweaty, dirty clothes, I stepped into a cool shower; washing away heat, dirt and weariness. Even just this simple process of getting clean began reviving my spirit. My favorite lounge clothes, a soft blanket on my couch, and a cold drink made me sigh with relief. This was what I had pictured all along, waiting for me at the end of the day. It's what pushed me through when I felt like quitting and putting off the work for another day.

Comfort has been a topic that has been popping up in my life lately. I've had devotionals focus on it and a sermon about it this past Sunday. It's made me pay attention to the topic and give it some extra thought. Comfort is something my body and spirit crave, yet when I think of Jesus' life here, He had very little of it. Jesus was often weary as people clamored for His attention and rest was not in abundance for Him. As far as personal comforts, we know He had little of that as well, knowing the work His Father sent Him to do was the focus of His life and ministry.

We never read that Jesus was grumpy and rude because He was not comfortable. He didn't act poorly because He was too hot, too hungry, or tired. But I do. I have a strong desire for comfort and when I lack it, I often become upset and cranky. I think one of the biggest reasons for this is because I'm selfish in nature—I feel entitled to feel comfortable and when I don't, I get irritable.

Comfort isn't wrong, it's just that my thoughts about it often get turned around a little. God doesn't dislike the fact that I appreciate my bed, a warm shower and a good meal—but I'm not actually entitled to those things; they are a blessing given to me from His gracious hand. My thoughts of comfort should instead be "others oriented". That means that my motivation for comfort should shift from myself, to the comfort of people around me.

I think of the many times people have ministered to my need for comfort when I've been upset or sad. They have sat with me, prayed with me, and brought things to me that would offer care and love. There is nothing like the hug from a loved one when we are faced with something emotionally challenging. A warm meal dropped off from a caring friend offers comfort that is hard to match. These are ways we can comfort others and in doing so, be more like Jesus.

The Holy Spirit has many names—one being Comforter. I cannot even begin to name the ways He has proven this to be true in my own life. His Word is full of comfort and encouragement and I've leaned heavily on Scripture to receive His comfort. Being able to pray to the Father gives us a great source of comfort and relief. The simple act of laying our burdens at His feet means laying aside troublesome thoughts and resting in His ability to handle them all for us.

While I'll forever be a gal here that longs for a soft blanket, a comfy spot to rest a while, and a warm fire on a cold night, I hope my thoughts of comfort shift. I hope that I'll realize how important it is to seek the comfort of others above my own. May I be a source of comfort to those around me that have real needs and desire someone to draw alongside and just offer them love and care–even if it costs me my own personal comfort to do so. If I stay in my place of comfort, I'll not be used in the capacity that God longs to use me. I must throw aside that soft blanket and cup of coffee and really see what's going on around me. Only when I put aside my own comforts will I be able to actively pursue meeting the needs of others. May God help me to be less selfish and more of a servant.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, ESV).

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18, ESV).

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help me shift my focus for personal comfort to meeting the needs of those who need comfort from me. Help me to follow Your example and offer love and encouragement to those who need it most. In Your name I pray, Amen!

His Hands and Feet

 It's a message we have heard many times within church walls—the commission to be the hands and feet of Jesus. In short, we are co-laborers with Christ which is quite a privilege. Who better to serve alongside than Jesus Christ? And yet the reality is, we allow so many things to distract us from sharing this responsibility with those hurting and in need of the gospel. We often are takers from others in active service for the Lord, and do not do our part in giving ourselves. In order to serve alongside Christ, we need to lay aside our own selfishness and desire for personal comfort. 

The Church is a place people are drawn to when they have a need. Sometimes, we judge the motives of those who come asking for money, groceries or help. We allow someone else to step in and help, but we feel most comfortable when it doesn't fall on us. But the reality is, the Church is a place people come for not only spiritual help, but a need they feel is more important. As believers, we know that the priority of Jesus was always meeting spiritual needs, but He often did that only after He addressed their physical needs. 

Take physical hunger, for example. Now I don't claim to understand real hunger even though I've been hungry, but for someone who is actually in serious need of food or water, their ability to think and reason is limited until that need is met. Or someone suffering from deep, searing burns on their body need pain management in order to think straight. Removing the discomfort allowed the people who came to Jesus to focus on what truly mattered—their spiritual need. 

Why is spiritual need the primary focus? The easiest way to answer this is because this need is the only need that transcends time. Physical discomfort is limited to our lifespan, but our spiritual need impacts our eternal destination. How foolish then to ignore our greatest need, brushing it aside for something less impactful. Jesus always sees past where we are now, to the place He wants us to be—in Heaven with Him for all eternity.

But back to being His hands and feet. In what ways has He called you to step in and actively meet the needs of others. Some may not have the finances to give money, but can instead offer their help. There are myriad of ways to step in and actively serve your part within the body of Christ. Perhaps the best place to start is to begin really seeing people. This means we not only watch, but listen. Only when we transfer focus from ourselves to others can we begin to see their needs. 

If you're like me, you have a natural fleshly desire toward selfishness. How seldom I give at personal cost to myself. Too many times, I give only after meeting my needs, and also most of the things I want. Because of this selfishness, I often miss the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus. 

We have a real need in our communities that are the responsibility of Christians to recognize and help meet. Whether it's a financial need, an emotional need, a spiritual need or a need for help, may we be willing to not only notice it, but to do something about it. I think in our moments of true generosity, Jesus allows us to experience a joy that no material possession can match. When we fulfill our purpose as believers, we fill ourselves with blessing. May we all be sensitive to the needs of others and actively pursue our purpose within the body of Christ.

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it (1 Corinthians 12:27, ESV).

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58, ESV).

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10, ESV).

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45, ESV)."

Dear Heavenly Father, give us eyes that see, and ears that hear. Then Lord, may we be willing to push aside our own selfishness and step in to be Your hands and feet. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Foolish Pursuit of Me

     Sometimes life is hard because I want my own way and I forget about serving others. The popular way of the world is to make myself happy, and to be honest, I often buy into this mindset, even while having the best of intentions not to. I want it all- that perfect husband, perfect life, and perfect marriage, and since that can never happen in an imperfect world, I can find myself discouraged and restless. Have you been there, friend? Do you often find yourself doing more wishing than being simply grateful for what is?
     There isn't a better time than now to do a little soul searching in life. Amid the chaos and unrest resulting from Covid19, we've been given something many of us normally run short on- time to reflect. While we won't have a normal Easter this coming weekend, the basic truths of why we celebrate it can't be changed by circumstances. And when I think of the cost of my own spiritual freedom and eternal life, I feel ashamed of this constant pursuit of wanting. Because at the core of my spirit, I am honestly never truly satisfied when I'm hungering for things of this world. I'll never have enough. I'll always yearn for more if I lose sight of this simple truth: only Christ can satisfy. 
     It's not wrong to have dreams and goals. It's not wrong to want a better life for our family. It's not wrong to want a home and a good marriage. But it is wrong to make my life about pursuing "things" over pursuing Jesus. And if I'm honest, I often find myself failing here. I find myself feeling jealous of people that can travel the world, wear a size zero (like, does that mean they don't exist?), live on the tropical shores of the Caribbean, and never worry about bills. This part of me isn't who I wish to be, and it shows a lack of gratefulness for the blessings God has given me! 
     And so it's time for me to do a little focus shifting, as I think of the sacrifice of Jesus at Calvary. He went willingly to the cross to die for my sins. He suffered and paid the price in order to redeem me. He laid down His own life out of a love greater than any I could ever understand. And on the third day, He rose from the dead- claiming victory over the grave. And then, then.. He asks us to remember Him. To serve Him. And He taught us how to do that as He washed the dirty feet of His disciples. We can serve Him when we serve others. And that's where I often get turned around in life, because I'm serving me instead of my husband. I'm serving me over my church family. I want my own way instead of His way. And that's not how it's supposed to be.
     If you're possibly also struggling at times in life to feel truly satisfied, the answers are likely the same- we are too focused on ourselves to appreciate what we have already been given. And I'll be the first to say I'm ashamed that it's true of me. So today, I'll choose to see the great things I have: a loving, caring, hard-working husband. Kids that love me and love Jesus. A home that while beautiful on the outside, is also a warm and inviting place to hang my hat. And this is just a smaller part of the countless blessings I enjoy. But the biggest blessing of all is what we are about to celebrate- my own redemption from what our Lord accomplished at Calvary. When I slow down and take time to really reflect, I'm much less restless and so much more thankful. I realize how easily I get sucked into the mentality of our world, and I feel shame. Dear Jesus, help me to have eyes that see like You see. A heart that loves and serves like You did. Because when I do, I'll see the beauty all around me, and forsake the foolish pursuit of satisfying myself. 

Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. 1 Corinthians 10:24 (ESV)
For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. Psalm 107:9 (ESV)
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, forgive me for so often seeking to satisfy my own flesh and desires, and miss the blessings You have given me. Help me to learn from Your own example, the life of serving others. May I remember, each day, how satisfaction will never be found outside of You. In Your name I pray, Amen!

Sunday Relationship Post- Speaking Thankfulness

     In our world of entitlement, there is a shortage of speaking gratitude. Saying "please" and "thank you" are seemingly dated phrases. But voicing thankfulness begins at home, and homes need to step it up. The more we both voice and show our thankfulness, the more enjoyable it is for the person to treat us generously. In a marriage, it's no different. In fact, showing appreciation is a healthy way to build a marriage up.
     There are two sides to thankfulness- the person who is giving, and the one receiving. We don't give in order to receive- that should never be our motive. But giving generously and lovingly is a big part of a relationship. Some provide financially for the family, some contribute by their care of the home, and some do both. These are actions that should be appreciated, as they take time, energy, effort, and careful attention. Saying "thank you" goes beyond manners- it shows appreciation for the efforts of others to make our life better and brighter. 
     Just as we need to hear appreciation for our hard work in our careers, we also need to hear it at home. Nothing makes a person more motivated to be a rock star on the job, then when their boss builds them up with compliments and encouragement. A great leader will encourage those who work under them, motivating them to give their best effort. Why not practice this same behavior in our homes? Encourage one another and show appreciation for the things we do- whether we made an excellent dinner, washed the car, earned a bonus at work, paid for a dinner out, or picked up the dry cleaning. 
     When we fail to say "thank you" over and over and over again, we leave the door open for the provider to feel unappreciated and taken for granted. We never want those feelings in any relationship- especially a marriage. Think of ways your spouse provides for you and voice your appreciation. Learn to speak thankfulness, and don't stop with people. We want to use this same principle with how we treat our Heavenly Father. He has blessed us with so much, and we need to acknowledge our blessings by thanking Him for them. So I pray for an attitude of gratefulness over expectedness. And I thank the Lord for blessing me with so many wonderful people and material comforts. 

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV
Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, Hebrews 12:28 ESV
Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! Psalm 100:4 ESV
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to live with a thankful spirit, and to let others know I appreciate them. May those closest to me never feel taken for granted because of my selfish, careless attitude of expectedness. I thank You for the many blessings I enjoy, and for giving Your Son to pay for my pardon. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen! 
     

His Story- Buried in Lies

     Have you ever found yourself caught in a lie? We have to all be honest here- we all lie. It's not okay, and it's doesn't make it excusable, but we are all guilty. It's an uncomfortable moment, to know you are caught, and yet we seldom just raise our hand, and say- I'm sorry, I lied. Instead, we usually tell another one to try to get out of the first. It's an ugly cycle, for sure. When it comes to infidelity, everything is pretty much a lie.
     An affair is not based on truth. We tell lies, or lies of omission, to cover up the truth. The simple act of slipping off a wedding ring to deceive, is a lie. Leaving out details of my marriage and family, is dishonest. Telling my wife lies to hide my actions became second nature. It was an ugly and exhausting place to live- a world of disillusionment. This was not what I had been saved for- rather it had been what I was saved from! And here I was, shrugging back into the cloak of sin and evil. 
     I have always been known by others for my integrity and honesty, and for the truth of who I had become to be uncovered, made me very uncomfortable, and shattered my image and self-esteem. The truth is this- lies are humbling. I had lived too long in a place of pride and dishonesty, and living a double life would eventually bring me to the bottom. 
     It's hard to lose respect of those who loved me the most, and yet it was because of my own actions. There wasn't a time I was comfortable with my actions or the lies I was telling, and yet I continued to do it out of selfishness. It took a long time for me to see what was driving me to this out-of-character behavior, but the bottom line was simply a selfishness that had no place in the life of a believer.
     You may struggle with lies as well, and find it hard to keep track of what you have said. Lies hurt those that love us, but they also hurt our Heavenly Father. Lies need to be confessed in order to be forgiven. If you are the one deceiving, own up to it and allow God to help make things right. If you have been hurt by the lies of your spouse, I pray you will get the apology you so deserve. But if you don't, you can still find freedom in forgiving them without ever receiving an apology. You can't ever make a marriage reconcile this way, but if reconciliation isn't possible, freedom always is. I am so grateful for the grace of God, for without it, I would be lost forever. His grace makes all things possible, and the grace shown to me by my wife was a gift I couldn't understand, apart from her knowing the heart of our Savior. I am thankful to share my journey with you, and pray that through my sin and betrayal, I can point you to the only One that can erase it all, and give hope and life through His Son!

Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who act faithfully are his delight. Proverbs 12:22 ESV
Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Colossians 3:9-10 ESV
For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to live in truth, and to let my words be acceptable in Your sight. Forgive me for lies, deceit, and selfishness. Help to restore my relationships, and to be a man after Your heart. I thank You for grace, and second chances. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Where I'm Setting my Mind

     I love big, and I love many. My husband, my kids, my family and friends hold my heart in a big way. I love to do things for them- cook their favorite meals, surprise them with something from Target, or send little texts that remind them of my love. I love things too- food (sadly), places (tropical), my Explorer, a good massage (Gayla- you're the best), and a good book. My laptop is awesome, and I'm a big fan of my own bed. I love my house, and I enjoy going out on our boat. But things are always less important than my people. 
     I put a lot of myself into the people I love. I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking of them, doing things for them, and loving them. And I like to take care of the things I love- keep them safe, clean and enjoy them. I love each person, and to a lesser degree, each thing- but they shouldn't be what I set my affection on. While my marriage was important, it should have taken its proper place after my affection for Jesus Christ.
     The world, including me, gets a lot of things backwards. We have a "me first" attitude, and it causes us to live selfishly, instead of selflessly. Healthy marriages aren't built on selfishness. When I put my own wants and needs first, my marriage won't thrive. And even if I put my husbands wants and needs first, while our marriage will be better, it won't be the best it could be. But when I put Jesus in the proper place of priority, our marriage has the best chance of being the best that it can be. 
     This scripture should be my motto for life: Set your minds on the things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2 ESV. If I give my Heavenly Father the proper place of authority in my life, all my other relationships will be better- healthier, and more satisfying. When I live and love according to the principles found in scripture, my marriage will benefit. When I look back over the past, I can see where I allowed my priorities to be out of order. While it is natural for a mother to love her kids ahead of herself, if I love the Lord more than them, I will be a better mom. If I love Jesus more than my husband, I will be a better wife. He must be first, and I should be last- loving others more than I love myself. This is the way Jesus lived, and loves. He loved me so much that He gave His life for me. I didn't deserve this love from Him, and yet He chose to give it to me anyway. When I love like Jesus did, every relationship I have will be much better. So I encourage each of you to love Him first, and others next. When you do, you will be amazed at the way it will enrich your relationships, and draw you closer to our precious Savior.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 ESV
He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30 ESV
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. Romans 8:5 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to properly prioritize my life, and my relationships. You should always come first, Lord, and yet I often fail to give you the prominence in my life that You deserve. Forgive me for my selfish ways, and help me to live and love like You did. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!