I remember the hot asphalt and my skinny 8-year old unshaved legs like it was yesterday. I was hunched over the track, ready for the race. I didn't want to be here-in fact, I wouldn't have been without the stern request of the P.E. teacher. A row of grade school girls beside me, we waited for the sound of the starting gun, signaling the start of the race. I didn't really sweat at that age, but I do remember my heart pounding-and if I could've done it, I would have plugged my ears. As soon as I heard the blast of the gun, I ran for all I was worth, winning a blue ribbon for our team on track-and-field day. A coach approached me, inquiring about my willingness to join the elementary track team (it was a thing back then, in Canada). And I surprised him by quickly turning him down. Why? My fear of the starting gun held me back from ever wanting to run a race again.
Fear. It's one of the weights that lay across the opportunities that life, and even God, have spread before me. Fear is just one of the weights that challenge me and hold me back from doing things I would otherwise excel in. While being a runner never really was one of my life goals, I've walked away from plenty of others, simply because I allowed one factor or another to keep me from accomplishing them. Owning my own bakery, or landscaping/produce shop are dreams that are hindered by financial obligations and risk. I feel sure of my ability to succeed in either dream, yet certain aspects of both have kept me from seriously pursuing them. If I never own my own bakery or landscaping supply shop, it really won't matter once I finish my race here in life. But spiritual hindrances have an eternal cost.
Maybe you want to be a missionary one day, but you're afraid to leave your homeland and all that's familiar. Maybe you want to write a daily devotional, but find the process too daunting. Maybe you want to read the whole Bible through, studying it carefully, book by book, but can't seem to find the time. Maybe God has placed in your heart, a burden to befriend a troubled church member, but you push away the whispers of His Spirit, longing to spend your time doing something easier. These spiritual goals or longings are good, and without proper focus, we will allow "weights" to hold us back from following through. Our faith journey is like a race-a starting point and the finish line is our goal, yet many things along the way will steer us off course.
The Apostle Paul had many weights that could have hindered his faith journey. He had a past that was guilty of shedding innocent blood of christian martyrs. He may have seen the stoning of Stephen night after night as he lay down to sleep, sorry for his part in it all. He could've allowed regret to keep him stuck, but he didn't. When I think of Paul, I am always so impressed with his spiritual focus-refusing to allow those weights to be an excuse to keep him stuck. He strived. He pushed aside the things that could hinder him, and allowed himself to wholly serve the Lord. Because of this, he did many great things for God's kingdom-maybe more than most others ever will achieve. But if I were to apply this same spiritual focus in my own life, how much more could I accomplish for God?
Friends, let's not continue to allow our past, or any other excuse to hold us back from finishing our faith journey well. When all is said and done, I won't want to feel regret for the many opportunities I turned my back on for one reason or another. I want to, instead, push aside these weights that are holding me back from what God wants me to do. Maybe you'll have to walk away from people who are standing in your way. Maybe you'll have to turn down obligations in order to make room for God. Whatever is holding you back-have the courage to remove them so that you may one day hear some of the best words ever: "well done, My good and faithful servant!"
You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth (Galatians 5:7, ESV)?
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14, ESV).
I can do all things through him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13, ESV).
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith (2 Timothy 4:7, ESV).
Dear heavenly Father, allow me to clearly see the weights that are holding me back from my spiritual potential, and then the courage to remove them. In Your name, I pray, Amen!
He was perfect- well, almost perfect. After a few months of dating, she liked most of what she saw. He had manners- he held the door for her, held her hand to cross the street, and always said "sir" or "ma'am" when speaking to her parents. He dressed nice. He took her to great restaurants and he made good money. His apartment was clean and neat. He was handsome. But he did have a habit of flirting with other women. Oh- and he had a mean streak that only occasionally came to the surface. Nothing out of hand- just mildly concerning. These were easily pushed away in light of all that he did right. She had confidence that in time, she would change him.
Naive, yes- but this happens every day. We know how the story goes from here. She won't change him. She will end up being hurt and disillusioned. And she will wonder how this happened to her. The thing is- we can't change people, only God can do that. But on a smaller scale, we still often fall into this trap of believing we can change someone. We try to use influence to do it. We try to nag them into change. And we may even try to use control to change someone. In the end, we will be frustrated and upset that our efforts weren't successful.
Friends, we must not be naive. If you are in the market for a serious relationship, don't expect perfection, but seriously consider any red flag warnings. If you see something that causes concern, address it now. Seldom is someone radically changed for the better by a spouse seeking to change them, but God does this kind of work every day in people from all walks of life. Take the Apostle Paul- a man who is responsible for killing many christians in cruel ways for their faith. God completely transformed him and he became one of the most influential preachers of all time! In the end, he lost his own life for his unshakeable faith in Jesus Christ.
Our spouse will never be perfect, and in reality, neither are we. We will have habits and characteristics that irritate one another. We may wish they were neater, funnier, more adventuresome or less impulsive. We may think they should be more romantic or have better manners. The thing is- we will never find someone that does nothing that bothers us. Instead of trying to change our spouse, we need to accept them- love them, and pray for any changes we hope to see. It's okay to kindly bring up a two-way discussion of changes you would both like to see- together. However, it's not good or right to nag them about the little things you don't like, or use ways to manipulate change.
If your spouse is using behaviors that cause you not just irritation, but concern- these are areas that need addressed. Often, the best people to help with this are trained professionals that counsel couples or individuals. Prayer is a powerful tool as well in these situations, as God can do what others cannot- He changes hearts and minds in a life-changing way. But you must accept that some behaviors are not going to be changed by you. They are simply too big for you to handle- but there is nothing too big for God to handle. When we truly grasp this truth, it frees us from the impossible responsibility of thinking we can change our spouse. Often, the best way to see real changes for the better in our spouse, begin with changing ourselves. What areas can you make improvements in your own life that will in turn, enrich your marriage? Why not start there, and see what God does for the two of you!
***the couple in this blog post is strictly fictional, and in no way reflects the character of my own husband.
An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. Proverbs 18:15 (ESV)
Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way. Proverbs 19:2 (ESV)
Who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself. Philippians 3:21 (ESV)
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for changing us- for radically transforming our lives. We pray that You will give us wisdom with others- to know You are the God of change, and we are not in control. Give us wisdom and guidance in our relationships, and help us to recognize that often, change should begin in our own hearts. In Your name we pray, Lord Jesus, Amen!
If there is anything our modern world struggles with, it's learning to be content with what we have. We always want more. We want better. We want something we don't have. A small dose of this means we have goals to achieve something greater than we are currently experiencing. But if we are unappreciative of what we have in this moment, we are missing the mark. The Apostle Paul made a remarkable statement, considering his circumstances. This is the statement he made: "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." (Philippians 4:11 ESV).
Paul wrote this statement during a very difficult time for him. He had been in prison for two years in Rome. He wasn't treated well, nor was he being held there for acts that would actually be considered "criminal". He had been beaten and mistreated. In our flesh, we see this as reason to be unhappy and angry. Paul learned something we should really try to learn ourselves- joy isn't circumstantial when you have Christ. Paul didn't consider this world to be "home", but rather a place of opportunity for building up the kingdom of Christ.
Life can bring about some pretty frustrating and heartbreaking situations. Our work can leave us feeling unappreciated and stressed. Our relationships can bring about pain and sadness. Our marriages can break our hearts. We may struggle to pay bills. We may want more than what we have. And while these are legitimate feelings we face, they shouldn't steal our contentment in Christ. We don't want to be entitled Christians. God doesn't owe us anything- certainly not material comfort. Jesus didn't have material comfort while He lived here, so we shouldn't feel like we are owed that from Him.
When it comes to infidelity, it is clear that discontentment led to the decision to betray a spouse. Often, it's not even discontentment with a spouse, but with ourselves. We become unhappy with our current state and want something better. The answers in looking for "better" will never be found outside of His best for us- and that won't ever include infidelity. If you're sitting inside of a marriage that doesn't thrill you, apart from abuse, look inside of yourself. Will making some personal changes for the better lead you to a healthier marriage? Being "content" doesn't mean that when we are living outside of His purposes for us, we don't make some changes. It doesn't mean that we don't try to improve our situations. But what it does mean is to appreciate the good in your current situation, seeing the blessings God has given you in this moment.
If you are stuck in a situation that is sapping your joy, Paul would ask you to consider what is ahead for you. We can get so focused on the here and now, and forget about our eternal destination- our forever home. Did I feel joy when my marriage was a mess? To be honest with you, I struggled with this same truth from Paul for quite some time. But I learned that I had to trust that God would turn the "bad" of my present, into "good" in the future. I had to come to grips with the fact that my joy couldn't be stolen by circumstances if it's firmly rooted in Christ and all that He offers. People can't make me content. A job can't make me content. A home and material goods can't offer contentment. Contentment is only found in Jesus Christ- He gives us so much more than the fleeting comforts this world offers. I want to be like Paul, and be happy and content in this place of of my life, enjoying the good things God has chosen to bless me with, and not focusing on what I'm missing out on.
Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 ESV
Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 1 Timothy 6:6-8 ESV
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for my selfish and greedy ways. My heart always wants more, and I forget to be content in this moment of my life. Help me to be truly thankful for the things You've blessed me with, and to never feel unthankful when I want more than You've given me. Help me to live with the attitude of the Apostle Paul, understanding that true contentment can only be found in You. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen!
