I'm "Just" a Housewife

     "What do you do?", they ask. It always seems to come up in conversation with new people you meet. There are a few terms generally given for an answer- things like stay-at-home mom, homemaker or a housewife. But oh how I've learned how the word "just" doesn't belong in my answer- and it doesn't belong in yours either. Whatever you do, you do wholeheartedly for the Lord (Colossians 3:23). There is no room for "just" - especially when we are answering the call to work within our homes full-time. As I've journeyed through approximately 24 years of being at home, I've chalked up a pretty extensive repertoire of expertise. Now I don't claim to be perfect in what I do- far from it! But I've learned a lot along the way, and can honestly say that should my presence be permanently removed from my home, the impact would be huge. Often times, it's then that our efforts and work is most noticed and missed. I don't believe my husband or kids take me for granted, but I do think they are somewhat unaware of the responsibilities that fall on a wife and a mom. So today, my post is not only for my fellow housewives, but also for those who wonder what we do with all of our time.
     Our duties and tasks are many. We vacuum, dust, clean bathrooms, clean the kitchen, organize closets and cabinets. We wash and fold clothes. We shop for groceries and make sure everyone has their favorite foods available. We prepare nutritious meals for our families and are in tune with what people prefer. We often are responsible for doing the family books, and try to keep our budget in check, looking for ways to save money. We look for sales, coupons and other ways to reduce expenses. We buy family gifts. We plan birthday parties and other family celebrations. We raise our children- this also comes with a large laundry list of responsibilities. We are chaperones and taxi drivers. We volunteer at the school. We mold the minds of our children. We get our kids ready for school and church and pack the lunchboxes. We go on field trips. We are holiday hostesses. We open our doors to family and friends. We do a lot of the planning for vacations and make reservations for date nights. We entertain. We schedule appointments. We pick up cleaning or run to the bank. We put effort into our physical appearance. We are usually responsible for the family pets- their care, feeding, vet visits and potty breaks. We make our husband and kids feel loved and cared for. We send encouraging notes and always seem to be their biggest cheerleaders (because we are). We feed ourselves spiritually so that we are the best wife and mom that we can possibly be. And so much more- and yet we often feel like what we don't just isn't enough. And sometimes, we feel like we are "just a housewife!"
     Sweet sisters- we are answering a call for the ministry God has for us in our homes. Not all of us have the privilege of being able to do this, but for those of us who do, we are doing exactly what God has for us. We are changing lives. We are making a difference. We are building up treasure in heaven. We are a vital presence in the walls of our homes- transforming it from being simply a house, to being "home". A place where the people we love feel safe, valued, treasured, cared for, and so very loved. I appreciate women who are out there doing their thing in the work force, but man I hope we can see the tremendous gift of those who choose to remain in the home. Somedays, there will be those who look down on what we do. I'll never forget being talked about with distain for my "just staying-at-home" self by someone else. I can't tell you how hurtful those words were to hear, even though they could never understand my life or the way I live it. But I've had to remind myself that those were words spoken in jealousy and insecurity, and they are completely untrue. God has me where He wants me, and that is exactly where I need to be.
     If you ever struggle with feeling like you aren't enough- simply because you work inside your home, don't believe it for a minute. God values what we do. He sees our work and He knows our hearts. He has given us a big responsibility within the walls of our own homes. Let's do this work with passion, love and a commitment to those He has called us to serve. When we are serving our husbands and our children, we are also serving Christ. This is the work He has entrusted to us- serving these gifts of our dearest loved ones. Our presence gives great comfort to the ones we are caring for, all while storing up heavenly treasure. So, the next time you're asked what you do- stand up a little straighter and never use "just" when you tell of how you are doing the best job of all- changing the lives of the ones you love the most! 

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Proverbs 31:10 (ESV)
And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:4-5 (ESV)
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. Proverbs 31:16 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, we thank You for the work You have given us to do within our homes. While not everyone has the blessing of doing what we do, we are thankful for this gift of serving those in our homes. Help us to do our work with a willing and loving heart, and to remember the value You see in what we are called to do. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     

The Foolish Pursuit of Me

     Sometimes life is hard because I want my own way and I forget about serving others. The popular way of the world is to make myself happy, and to be honest, I often buy into this mindset, even while having the best of intentions not to. I want it all- that perfect husband, perfect life, and perfect marriage, and since that can never happen in an imperfect world, I can find myself discouraged and restless. Have you been there, friend? Do you often find yourself doing more wishing than being simply grateful for what is?
     There isn't a better time than now to do a little soul searching in life. Amid the chaos and unrest resulting from Covid19, we've been given something many of us normally run short on- time to reflect. While we won't have a normal Easter this coming weekend, the basic truths of why we celebrate it can't be changed by circumstances. And when I think of the cost of my own spiritual freedom and eternal life, I feel ashamed of this constant pursuit of wanting. Because at the core of my spirit, I am honestly never truly satisfied when I'm hungering for things of this world. I'll never have enough. I'll always yearn for more if I lose sight of this simple truth: only Christ can satisfy. 
     It's not wrong to have dreams and goals. It's not wrong to want a better life for our family. It's not wrong to want a home and a good marriage. But it is wrong to make my life about pursuing "things" over pursuing Jesus. And if I'm honest, I often find myself failing here. I find myself feeling jealous of people that can travel the world, wear a size zero (like, does that mean they don't exist?), live on the tropical shores of the Caribbean, and never worry about bills. This part of me isn't who I wish to be, and it shows a lack of gratefulness for the blessings God has given me! 
     And so it's time for me to do a little focus shifting, as I think of the sacrifice of Jesus at Calvary. He went willingly to the cross to die for my sins. He suffered and paid the price in order to redeem me. He laid down His own life out of a love greater than any I could ever understand. And on the third day, He rose from the dead- claiming victory over the grave. And then, then.. He asks us to remember Him. To serve Him. And He taught us how to do that as He washed the dirty feet of His disciples. We can serve Him when we serve others. And that's where I often get turned around in life, because I'm serving me instead of my husband. I'm serving me over my church family. I want my own way instead of His way. And that's not how it's supposed to be.
     If you're possibly also struggling at times in life to feel truly satisfied, the answers are likely the same- we are too focused on ourselves to appreciate what we have already been given. And I'll be the first to say I'm ashamed that it's true of me. So today, I'll choose to see the great things I have: a loving, caring, hard-working husband. Kids that love me and love Jesus. A home that while beautiful on the outside, is also a warm and inviting place to hang my hat. And this is just a smaller part of the countless blessings I enjoy. But the biggest blessing of all is what we are about to celebrate- my own redemption from what our Lord accomplished at Calvary. When I slow down and take time to really reflect, I'm much less restless and so much more thankful. I realize how easily I get sucked into the mentality of our world, and I feel shame. Dear Jesus, help me to have eyes that see like You see. A heart that loves and serves like You did. Because when I do, I'll see the beauty all around me, and forsake the foolish pursuit of satisfying myself. 

Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. 1 Corinthians 10:24 (ESV)
For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. Psalm 107:9 (ESV)
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, forgive me for so often seeking to satisfy my own flesh and desires, and miss the blessings You have given me. Help me to learn from Your own example, the life of serving others. May I remember, each day, how satisfaction will never be found outside of You. In Your name I pray, Amen!

Loving Away Needs

     It was a cold, drizzly Sunday evening. His family was hungry and he didn't have enough money to feed them. Big, hollow, sad eyes looked at him. He was the family leader- the provider, and he had failed them all. Disability had robbed him of his ability to aptly provide, and they were in debt up to their ears. They had three kids- all in the growing up stage of life, where they seemed to be able to eat endless supplies of food. He hated to do it- but the church down the street may be able to help them.
     He pulled in to the parking lot and saw the service was just getting underway. He kept his family in the car and made his way inside. Ashamed and nervous, he was approached by a couple of the men who obviously attended this place of worship. After stating his situation, he hated looking up into the eyes of these men who saw him possibly as a beggar- because that's what he felt like in this moment. The men asked him to take a seat and they stood a ways away from him. He could see them- dressed nice, apparently well-fed, and clean. What must they think of him? He once looked very much the same as they did- but life had taken a hard turn, and the rest was history. 
    The men seemed to make a decision and came his way. They told him they would follow him to the nearest grocery store and purchase groceries to feed his family. No questions. No statements about why he didn't have a job. No feelings of judgment- just a kindness he was desperate for. Why would they help a perfect stranger- one who hadn't darkened the door of a church for many years? What led them to open their pockets to people they had never met before, or knew nothing about? The man had an idea of the answer, though, which is why he had come to this place- God. His grandma had believed in Him, and she had lived a life of sacrifice. She helped anyone who seemed to need it, and some who didn't. And she had always told him this was what servants of Jesus should live like- because we should love like Jesus loved.
     Jesus says that everyone is our neighbor. Each person we see with a need- our neighbor! Each person with a longing to be loved- our neighbor! Each person in need of forgiveness and grace- our neighbor! When we really understand this concept, it makes it a lot easier to let go of grudges. It makes it easier to open our pockets, our hearts, and our arms to those in need. And if we refuse, or allow someone else to do it in our place, we lose. We lose the chance to love like Jesus.
     The holidays are here- a time of giving and loving. Sometimes, the ones around us with the greatest needs, are the ones we live with. They may need words of encouragement, white flags of surrender, an apology with no strings attached, a tank of gas, a hot meal, a listening ear, a warm hug, or the gift of forgiveness. And when we meet these needs, let's then look a little further out from our homes and families, and see what other needs we can meet. This is written to you, yes, but it's also for me. I can get so wrapped up in all the things I want, and miss the fact that I'm surrounded by people who have needs I could meet. Not all of them will require money- in fact, often, they just require me to notice and care. God help me to be more like You; to allow Your love to flow from me. There would be no greater blessing than to have it said of me- "she loved." 

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 (ESV)
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; Romans 13:10a (ESV)
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Luke 6:35 (ESV)
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, there are so many around us in need. Some may need material things, but some may only need love. Help us, Lord, to love like You do- generously, unconditionally, intentionally and faithfully. May this season be a time to lay down any differences, and reach out to those we may be struggling with. May we be characterized as people with Your heart- willing to meet the needs of those around us, and even those who aren't. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

The Remember Stones

          As a little girl, my sister and I loved to collect pretty rocks. We had some shiny, smooth black rocks given to us by a sweet older gentleman. I don't have mine today, but I kept them for years. We had some crystalized purple and green rocks we bought from the gift shop of a mine. In all honesty, they were pretty, but apparently worthless, if they willingly sold them to little children for a couple bucks. And then we loved to find fool's gold. These rocks were plain, other than the dusting of gold that covered their outer layer. We always hoped that somehow, they weren't fool's gold, but rather authentic, and we would be rich from our fortunate find. Sadly, that was never the case for us. 
     These rocks were significant to the two of us, because they had sentimental meaning to them. There was no real value in them, other than our memories. I wonder if the children of Israel had those same sentimental thoughts, when they looked on the twelve stones retrieved from the bottom of the Jordan River. These stones had no value, other than they signified how God had opened the river to allow them to cross with the Ark of the Covenant. Joshua had one man from every tribe, carry a stone from the Jordan to where they lodged. While these rocks were likely plain to look upon, they told an amazing and miraculous story that pointed those who would look on them, to the redemptive and unmatchable power of God. 
     Wouldn't it be amazing if we had rock memorials from the many times God has touched us- rocks that signified His redemption and healing in our life events? If it were so, I would look behind me and be blown away by the sea of rocks telling stories of my own deliverance. I would see piles that showed how He saved me from being eternally lost, at the tender age of eleven. I'd see how He helped me through school, and provided opportunities for college and a degree. I would smile at the ones that reminded me of how He opened the door to being married to my best friend. I would be touched at the healing of multiple sicknesses, and heartaches. I would shed tears over His faithfulness in blessing me with a son and daughter, after years of infertility and pregnancy loss. And my heart would be undone each time I looked upon the rocks that reminded me of how He is restoring our hearts and our marriage, after being shattered by infidelity. 
     Yes, my past is littered with beautiful stories that point to a Savior- One who is intimately involved in my life. Answered prayers. Healed hearts. People who call me "mom". Each story is a testimony to who He is, and what He does. And should I have a rock in place to remember, it would cause me to overflow with gratitude each time my eyes fell upon them. While I may not have rocks to remind me of His goodness, I do have memories. How thankful I am for all He has done, and will do for me. I challenge you stop today, friend, and remember the times He has worked mightily in your own life. We serve a God who loves to save, deliver, restore, and work- His purpose for doing so isn't just to make us happy, but rather to point others to His Son. Celebrate with me, the goodness of our Father, and the wonderful works He does for His children.

I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. Psalm 77:11 ESV
I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the works of your hands. Psalm 143:5 ESV
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, Psalm 103:2 ESV
Then take care lest you forget the LORD, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, and out of the house of slavery. Deuteronomy 6:12 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for the many times You've saved and delivered me from danger. I thank You for the countless blessings I've received from Your gracious hand. I praise You, Father, for Your gift of salvation. Help me to recall the many wonders You've done for me. In Your name I pray, Amen!

If it Didn't Happen for You

     My broken marriage was restored earlier this year, and I can tell you this- it wasn't my doing. I've had people ask me what I did, that would maybe help their own situation. I can't say why it happened for me, or that I am more qualified to receive this amazing gift than any other person. Frankly speaking, it wasn't owed to me just because I prayed for it, even though I longed for it in the depths of my soul. Because the bottom line is this- I can want something all day long, but if God isn't in it, and if hearts aren't changed on both sides, it likely won't happen.

     In my case, I wanted restoration. I prayed for it almost without ceasing. I was willing to work for it, and make necessary sacrifices. I was willing to go to marriage counseling and work through the tough issues that drove us apart. I could wish and work for it all day long, but if my husband had not opened his own heart to the calling and convicting of God, it wouldn't have happened for us. 

     We are only responsible for our own choices, and sometimes that truth can unsettle us. Had my husband chosen to ignore God's voice, we would probably be in the middle of a painful divorce. What choices are your loved ones making that you'd love to influence, or change? You may wish for a child to find victory over a drug addiction. You may wish for your spouse to stop being physically abusive. You may wish you could say just the right thing to lead your brother away from a life of alcoholism. Your son may be battling pornography, and you feel helpless. Your spouse may be lying in the arms of another man, leaving you heartbroken and lonely. These are choices that are being played out right before our eyes, causing deep pain and despair. And yet they are their choices- outside of our own control. We can plead, wish, and pray; but we can't make their choices for them. 

     I have spoken to some dear friends who have waited decades for their wayward spouses. My heart hurts for them. They wish for reconciliation too, but they are only one half of the broken marriage. We can pray for God to work in the lives and hearts of our estranged spouse, hopefully bringing them back, but they must open their own heart to His voice. Nothing I did on my own is responsible for my restoration story. I don't have any hidden secrets I could share that would make you say, "Ahh.. that's what it is!" I don't hold the key to success for a restored marriage. I honestly don't deserve the grace and mercy God has poured into my life and marriage, and yet that didn't stop Him. All I can tell you is this- God did it! He worked a miracle for us, and He can work one in your situation as well. Your child, your husband, your wife, your brother, your mom, your best friend- all can be reached by Him. No one is too far from His reach, no matter how bad it looks today! 

     If you're still waiting, know that He knows how hard the waiting is, and He cares so much about your situation. If you gave up, His heart hurt along with yours. You are only responsible for the choices you make- and sometimes the ones we love the most will make bad choices that will change the course of our lives forever. You are not responsible for their unwillingness to listen to God's voice. But you are responsible for your own choices- are you choosing well? My own marriage wasn't restored because I'm special, or God loves me more. It simply happened because both of us listened to what God had to say about it, and because of this, He is mending what our sin broke- because that's what God does!

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Psalm 51:12 ESV
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24 ESV
"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1 ESV
"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for the gift of restoration. I pray that others who are not given this opportunity, and are hurting today, will feel Your comfort and peace. Heal broken hearts, Lord, and turn back the ears of those who have wandered far from Your voice. In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen!

     

Those Who Believe in Us

     I've been blessed in life with a large support group. These people believe in me, even when I doubt myself. They've encouraged me through the more difficult classes or exams in my years of education, prayed for me when I was ill, rallied me through child rearing, cheered for me during competition, and consoled me in my heartaches. These are people who love me, and they back up their words with action. I am thankful for this wonderful group of people, and oftentimes wonder what I would do without them. 

     Having people that believe in me is pretty powerful, but I am also blessed with people that believe in us- my marriage, specifically. Spending time with people who support my marriage, whether in good times or bad times, is so important. I've witnessed people who cheer for the individual, and not for the couple. They will encourage you to "do you", and that "we" aren't so much the focus. If you have people encouraging this way of thinking in you, I will boldly say this way of thinking is against scriptural teaching. 

     Marriage was God's idea. It is a covenant made before God, that isn't meant to be broken. While a marriage facing a sexual affair, like mine, breaks the covenant, God is always a God of restoration. He believes in mending broken things, just like He believes in saving sinners. People who supported our marriage in the darkest of times, were true warriors and champions of love. We were rich with many who prayed for us, visited us, encouraged us, and supported restoration, continuing to do the same today. They believed restoration would happen for us, not giving in to doubt.  

     While having people who believe in me is a gift I greatly appreciate, having people who believe in us is invaluable. Believing in us requires faith- faith that God would work a miracle in us. It required knowledge in One able to restore, transform, and heal. Without the hand of God intervening, I have no doubt we would have been finished. But I love how God gave us people early on in our marriage- people who understood marriage God's way. People who knew the Master Healer, and how He longed to heal the broken. People who refused to bash our spouse, even when they likely deserved it. People who knew, somehow, someway, that God would see us through. 

     If you are married, surround yourselves with people who believe in the two of you. When you do, you have a good support system in place if you ever find your marriage in a crisis. While we always have our Heavenly Father available to us in any situation, we know He gives us other believers to help hold us up through life's journey. I am thankful for each person God has placed in our lives for support and care. And I am thankful for those who not only believed in me, but believed in the truth that what God began in the two of us, He would bring to completion. Because of what they witnessed God do in their own lives, they knew that no situation was without hope- not even us! Thank you for never giving up on us, and believing in the beautiful reality of what we are enjoying in our present- a restored marriage! 

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 ESV
But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13 ESV
So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Romans 14:19 ESV
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, Hebrews 10:24 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for surrounding me with people who believe in my marriage. In the dark times, it must've seemed difficult to imagine a restored marriage for us, but there were those that continued to believe it would happen. Thank You for those who continued to remain hopeful, supporting us with encouragement,  because they knew the God we serve- A God who delights in restoration. In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen!

Renewing Our Vows

     When adultery assaults a marriage, the marriage is broken. Vows made before God were not kept, and while still married, that marriage is in ruin. Hearts are shattered, promises broken, and lives are changed. Looking behind us, we saw it all, and somehow survived it by God's grace. There were days I was sure I wouldn't pull through, and longed to run far away (seriously, I did..the tropics were calling me, but my kids needed me more). But here we were- products of God's amazing grace. This called for a celebration- one where we made new promises before God, our closest family, and our wonderful kids. 
     The morning of February 9th arrived- cold and sunny. A day much anticipated, and full of hope! We stood in front of one another speaking new vows- ones we had written ourselves and made fresh promises. While we had made promises 25 years earlier, these promises came with a lot more living under our belts, and a better grasp of what we were saying and Who had brought us through our toughest battle.  
     Tears were shed, new rings were exchanged,  and hugs and kisses were shared. We felt pure joy at what God has given us- a fresh focus on our gift in one another! Sharing this moment with our children and family members was so special. Each one of them had shared in our battle, and had prayed and loved us through it. It was fitting to have each of them there for this special occasion. 
     I used to find it amusing that so many people renew their vows after years pass. For me, ours were never broken and didn't need a re-do. But when an affair presented in our marriage, renewing our vows was important and gave closure to what we had experienced. Marriage is a blessing, and there is nothing like sharing life with your spouse. Ups and downs, highs and lows- always knowing someone is beside you, there for you, and supporting you. What Satan meant to steal from us, God saw fit to restore. While adultery is a real issue in today's marriages, the same God Who reached in and saved ours is available to all who simply come to Him. No matter if your problem is marriage related or personal- He's there, and I know He is dear friend, because in the darkest of times, He's revealed Himself to me in ways that amaze me. 

I'm including some of the words to a song that I played often during the past year:
I know the night won't last
Your word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus, You're still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again.

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed me yet

I've seen You move, come move the mountains
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I'll see You do it again.             - Elevation Worship "Do it Again"

And guess what? He did :)

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your faithfulness to us- for moving mountains! While the night is behind us, we know life will present new challenges and we pray that each day, we rely on Your strength to see us through. Thank You for making a way when there was no way! You have never failed us yet, and we know You never will. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Sunday Relationship Post- Speaking Thankfulness

     In our world of entitlement, there is a shortage of speaking gratitude. Saying "please" and "thank you" are seemingly dated phrases. But voicing thankfulness begins at home, and homes need to step it up. The more we both voice and show our thankfulness, the more enjoyable it is for the person to treat us generously. In a marriage, it's no different. In fact, showing appreciation is a healthy way to build a marriage up.
     There are two sides to thankfulness- the person who is giving, and the one receiving. We don't give in order to receive- that should never be our motive. But giving generously and lovingly is a big part of a relationship. Some provide financially for the family, some contribute by their care of the home, and some do both. These are actions that should be appreciated, as they take time, energy, effort, and careful attention. Saying "thank you" goes beyond manners- it shows appreciation for the efforts of others to make our life better and brighter. 
     Just as we need to hear appreciation for our hard work in our careers, we also need to hear it at home. Nothing makes a person more motivated to be a rock star on the job, then when their boss builds them up with compliments and encouragement. A great leader will encourage those who work under them, motivating them to give their best effort. Why not practice this same behavior in our homes? Encourage one another and show appreciation for the things we do- whether we made an excellent dinner, washed the car, earned a bonus at work, paid for a dinner out, or picked up the dry cleaning. 
     When we fail to say "thank you" over and over and over again, we leave the door open for the provider to feel unappreciated and taken for granted. We never want those feelings in any relationship- especially a marriage. Think of ways your spouse provides for you and voice your appreciation. Learn to speak thankfulness, and don't stop with people. We want to use this same principle with how we treat our Heavenly Father. He has blessed us with so much, and we need to acknowledge our blessings by thanking Him for them. So I pray for an attitude of gratefulness over expectedness. And I thank the Lord for blessing me with so many wonderful people and material comforts. 

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV
Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, Hebrews 12:28 ESV
Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! Psalm 100:4 ESV
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to live with a thankful spirit, and to let others know I appreciate them. May those closest to me never feel taken for granted because of my selfish, careless attitude of expectedness. I thank You for the many blessings I enjoy, and for giving Your Son to pay for my pardon. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen! 
     

Resentful of Others

     Have you ever looked around at other people and felt resentful of their easier life? Their seemingly perfect marriage? Or how about their effortless ability to hold on to their youthful figure, but if you eat ONE donut, you need stretch pants? There are always people with more money, bigger houses, people who get to travel more, or families with perfectly behaved children. We can get so focused on what others have, that instead of seeing the good things we possess, we resent the blessings others are enjoying.
     Sitting in the middle of a painful marriage is a hard place to sit. While statistics say otherwise, it can feel lonely in the harder days of your marriage story. I would look around at all of my family and friends and see few of them really struggling. It isn't that I wanted them to struggle, but at times, I resented that I was. While they had that special person they could always count on to be there for them, I was hurt that I did not. 
     We all want happy and healthy marriages, but we can lose sight of the truth of what love is. Love isn't a feeling. Love isn't based on passion. Love isn't conditional. Love is a choice- a simple choice to love no matter what. For my readers who are married, remember that. Choose to love on the hard days, and remember that commitment is a promise. Rather than looking somewhere else when your marriage is struggling, look at the changes you can make in yourself to improve your marriage.
     We are all resentful of others at time, and falling into the "everyone does it" camp, doesn't make it right. We all have our struggles- no one is without them. Some of us are called to walk harder lives than others, but for those called to walk a harder road, we have so much opportunity for Christ. How can I use the painful journey through infidelity to help others? How can I use it to point others to Jesus Christ? Whatever road you are called to walk, use it! The harder ones give us the biggest voice. It's easy for me to resent the ones with easier life journeys, but if we change our perspective, we can see our situation as an opportunity for something great. God doesn't want any situation to defeat us, but rather that we would use it to defeat the enemy instead. 

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31 ESV
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; Hebrews 12:15 ESV
Surely vexation kills the fool, and jealousy slays the simple. Job 5:2 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to be happy for the blessings others enjoy and not allow their blessings to be a point of resentment in my heart. It's so easy to be jealous of others, and yet You have blessings for me. Help me remember the things You bless me with, and to use my harder seasons to point others to Your Son. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!