Loneliness Along the Journey

     Perhaps one of the hardest things we face when left by a spouse, is loneliness. I am a "people person." I love being around people. They don't even necessarily have to be talking to me; it's nice to just know someone is there. This goes beyond a body being present with us- we like to know someone is there for us on every level. If we are sick, they are there to care for us. If we had a bad day, they are there to give us a hug and encourage us. If we are afraid, they are the first to show up for us. They are a hug when we walk in the door and a "goodnight" before we turn over to sleep. They are a hand to hold in the car, and a shoulder to cry on. They pray with us, laugh with us, dream with us, and listen to us. They are "our person." 
     Friends can step into some of those empty places, but at the end of the day, they go home to their own "person." It doesn't feel fair, to be left alone along the journey of marriage, by choice. The house feels empty. The bathroom sink has only my things. One toothbrush. Empty chair at the table. Quiet in bed. No plans for Valentine's Day. No kisses. No one to take care of the leaks and squeaks in the house. No call on the way home from work. Empty.
     I have a friend who understands this loneliness. I love how she works through it on the tougher days. She sits a chair in her bedroom and puts her Bible on it as a visual. And she talks to Jesus just as she would to her missing husband. She tells Him about her day. She tells Him about her worries and fears. She asks Him for help and wisdom. She finds courage and strength in His very real presence. He's closer than a chair to us- He is within us. 
     God isn't happy for my loneliness- it wasn't what He wanted for me. But He will use it to exercise my faith in Him, and call me to a higher level of trust in Him. It wasn't God's plan for me to be left alone this way, but He knew it would happen. And just as He knew it would, He will care for me in my loneliness. He will step into those lonely moments and days, in ways that are precious and humbling. I can choose to allow my loneliness to lead to bitterness, or I can choose to allow it to lead me to better places. Better than this present place of fear, rejection and being alone. God really does have blessings for me- even in the "here" that I don't really like. 
     As christians, we will experience valleys. It's part of living in a sin-filled world. Choices and decisions will be made that will hurt us. We will hurt others as well, along this life journey. But we must be able to look, even while we are in a valley, at our Savior- the One Who will bring us back up to a mountain top. It will happen, in His time. But for now, in the quiet of this phase of life, may God help us to grow in Him. May we depend on Him in ways we never have before. Whether our mountain top is here, or heaven, only He knows. But when we trust Him in the valley, we are promised an eternal reward that far outweighs the loneliness of this valley! Hold on to that hope, knowing our God always keeps His promises to us!

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 ESV
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, give me comfort in this lonely season of life. This valley is a challenge, but I pray You will exercise my faith and trust in You. Help fill the empty spaces with Your loving Presence. Help me to use this lonely time to reach out to others who are walking this same journey, pointing them to You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!