A Different Christmas

 The thing about Christmas celebrations are that they are often deeply rooted in tradition. I love traditions—especially Christmas traditions. I am a sentimental girl at heart and nothing pulls on those heartstrings like the things that make our Christmas unique and special to me and my own family. Just hearing Ray Conniff's version of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" conjures up memories from the time I was a little girl. It's a tradition we still have as a signal that it's time for Christmas festivities to begin.

But sometimes, traditions change. It's hard to part with those we held dear for so long, but life changes, so naturally, traditions change too. And there is good in that mixed with a little sadness as well. And because life changes, we often find ourselves with empty chairs at the Christmas table. Maybe our loved one is spending Christmas somewhere else this year, or maybe they've passed away.

This has been another difficult year for so many. Personally, I have lost friends of mine this year to Covid19, and it's been hard to come to grips with. Families will be celebrating, but with huge, gaping holes in their hearts. Some may not even be able to conjure up a Christmas plan—their pain is too deep. My heart aches for them.

Our own Christmas table has dwindled through the years—some from change, and some from death. And yet as we may feel a sense of disappointment or sadness, we must remember that Christmas isn't about tradition or even who is seated at our table. And while it doesn't necessarily erase the pain or the adjustment we face with change, it does prompt us to reflect on what this season is all about.

When I think of Christmas, what are my first thoughts about? I confess it's so easy to get caught up in the traditions and the commercialization of the holiday. I also confess to love those aspects of Christmas, but they don't touch my heart the way the greater story does—the birth of our Savior that long ago night in a stable in Bethlehem. I've spent perhaps more time reflecting on that story this year than any year prior, and I think one of the reasons is the story remains the same. Nothing about it will ever change, and that's a beautiful thing.

Change is inevitable. People change and life changes. We move on from certain things and never look back. We may change locations or career paths or find ourselves facing family changes. Empty nests and new babies—marriage and sadly even divorce—falling in love and feeling brokenhearted and alone—these are also everyday realities for us. And while some may feel joyful this Christmas season, some are also depressed, discouraged, lonely and heartbroken.

If you're facing some changes you may not feel happy about this season, maybe the unchanging, faithful story of Jesus birth can fill you with joy. His birth is the very hope the world had waited for—the hope for a Savior to rescue and redeem a broken world. That child was the fulfillment of promises made from the beginning of time, and the promise I still hold to for my own redemption. 

Christmas is Jesus—it's not in all the things we try to make it about, even as they may enhance our celebrating. And so whatever your Christmas looks like—different or the same—the reason behind it will never change. She brought forth her newborn Son and called His name JESUS—because He would save His people from sin. That's an unchanging truth worth celebrating with great joy.

She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins (Matthew 1:21, ESV)."

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever (Isaiah 40:8, ESV).

God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it (Numbers 23:19, ESV)?

Our Daily Bread

 Bread is one of my most pleasurable life indulgences. It's not good for my waistline, but it tastes incredibly delicious. Even just the smell of it can make my mouth water. Give me some cold butter (no substitutes!) and I'm a happy woman! Any other bread lovers out there? I get this love of bread from my dad. We often teased him about how happy it made him when they brought a fresh bread basket to the table at a restaurant. But seriously—I was no less happy than he. 

Bread is mentioned often in the Bible. In fact, I was pretty surprised when I googled the number, and found it is mentioned around 492 times. That's a pretty remarkable number and causes us to take note, recognizing it has extreme significance in God's Word. Perhaps one of the most notable Bible references that comes to mind is how God sent manna to sustain the Children of Israel in the wilderness. Each day, He sent what was necessary to fill each of them with their necessary food as this delightful bread was provided early each morning. The taste of manna is described as wafers with honey. I'm sold!

But the next mention of bread that stands out to me is in the Lord's Prayer. He states, "Give us this day, our daily bread." Now I believe this prayer includes our physical need for nourishment, but also—so much more. I think of this statement being whispered from our own lips in situations that call for help. Help that doesn't include physical hunger but reveals a need—needs that express a void or a situation that distresses us—a place only the Lord can fill.

"I don't know how we will pay all the bills this month!"

(Give us this day, our daily bread)

"I have no idea what to do about the state of my marriage!"

(Give us this day, our daily bread)

"How can I go on without her?"

(Give us this day, our daily bread)

"I feel so stressed out with all these deadlines."

(Give us this day, our daily bread)

"I feel inadequate as a wife, a mother, or an employee."

(Give us this day, our daily bread)

Scripture refers to Jesus as the Bread of Life—our Sustenance and our Sustainer. He isn't just the Provider of our food, but the Provision for our every need. When we are stressed, worried, afraid, insecure, or sick—He is our Bread. He longs to fill our hearts and minds—not just our stomachs. 

Whatever has you emotionally bogged down, whisper words of invitation to our Bread of Life—words that ask Him to fill the needs you have today. He created you and all of creation. He conquered the cross. He rose from the grave. He saves us from hell. And as we read in the Bible a handful of times: "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" The answer is no. 

Life is difficult and full of situations that distress us, and sometimes—life just hurts. But we aren't without hope. We haven't been left here to flounder on our own. Jesus—our Bread of Life longs to sustain us. We can face the impossible with expectance. As much as our shoulders want to droop and our breath may become short and shallow, we have every reason to stand tall and run the race set before us. Whatever is troubling you, release it at the feet of Jesus. Recall His great power and His perfect ability to stand in the midst of your inadequacies—even if it's just a whispered prayer for Him to supply your daily bread.

Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst (John 6:35, ESV)."

I Wasn't Ready Yet

 I received a message through my Instagram account the other day, and something in it really struck a chord with me: "I wasn't ready, yet", she said. I've said it, and maybe you have too. How many things do we not feel ready for? I know for me, the list would be pretty extensive. In this particular case, she wasn't ready for words of hope—because sometimes, we feel the need to flounder in our grief and pain as we grapple with reality. We wrestle with our shocking feelings surrounding painful circumstances, and need to spend some time there.

I can relate. I have my own lapse between discovery and the quest for healing. Or maybe that lapse is really just the very beginning of the process that leads us to healing. When we receive shocking news—whether betrayal in our marriage, the death of a loved one, a serious diagnosis, or some other painful discovery, our initial response is not usually acceptance—that comes later in the grieving/healing process.

It helps to know this is a natural response for most humans. It doesn't make me a bad person or a bad Christian if I spend a little time between discovery and acceptance. It doesn't mean I don't believe God is good—but it does mean my faith in His goodness is being called to the test, even as He patiently waits for me to learn to trust Him with this hard news.

The truth is, when I hear something especially difficult, I like to nurse that pain for a while. Whether it's minutes or days, those feelings match the bad news. I need time to properly grieve those hurts and disappointments before I feel ready to move on and move forward—maybe you need this space too. But even in those days of nursing my wounds and floundering in my feelings, I'm still so deeply touched with His tender presence—giving comfort until I'm ready. 

I lost a dear friend this week, and I wasn't ready to hear she had passed away. I had hoped for healing—healing that would place her back in this world—healthy and whole and pouring herself back into her family and friends once again. We prayed and we believed, yet God took her home. I feel pain over our temporary parting—space is needed until acceptance comes. God knows. He understands our need for this time, yet it won't stop Him from planting precious truths into our hurting hearts. This is the soil needed for future acceptance—knowing He deeply cares for our hurts and pains.

Maybe you're somewhere between hard news and acceptance. Maybe you're wrestling with the darkness of those painful feelings—the deepness of grief. Maybe you don't even want to think of God, and are pressing against His longing to comfort you. If He is in control, then He could have allowed a different outcome—different news than what you're facing. Does He care for your hurt and pain, and does He understand the feelings we face as we grieve? He does, friends, He does.

We need days where we wallow in the bad news and we ask God, "why?" And while it's a natural part of the process of grieving, let us not stay stuck there. The truth is, bad news will come to us all at some point in our lives—and it seems more and more often as we age. Sin has broken this world, and it's broken us, too. That's why we desperately need Jesus—the God of all comfort. 

Maybe today you don't feel ready to accept whatever it is you're facing. Maybe you just want to nurse your pain another day. Maybe you aren't ready yet—ready to move forward. To accept. To heal. To trust God with your broken heart. Maybe today, hope doesn't feel possible. But tomorrow is a new day. Pray about your heart. Know that Jesus cares so very deeply for you. His ways are best, even when they hurt. 

We don't always need to know why, but eventually we must accept the present reality. We must remember God's faithful love, and that He works all things for good–even when it doesn't feel good. One day, you'll be ready, and one day you'll look back and see how far He's brought you. Don't spend too much time wallowing and nursing your pain—you have big things He has planned for you—things you don't want to miss. You aren't alone in this—He is always with us. So today in that space between hard news and acceptance, may you feel His love beckoning you to trust Him. May you learn to lean into His tender, strong arms and carry you through. He is our Good, Good Father—every single moment of every single day.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, ESV). 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3, ESV). 

The Goodness of God- Psalm 103

 Before the death of Jesus at Calvary, I have often had different thoughts about who the Lord was to the Old Testament saints. Was He more of a Judge, throwing down verdict in form of fire and pestilence for disobedience, or was He the God of provision—shown to Abraham as his son lay on the altar awaiting death? Did He desire to have a close relationship with all of who would long for it, or did He choose certain people to bestow favor on—like Moses, Isaac, Abraham or a Joshua? Before the cross, I tend to think of Him as being less merciful and gentle, and yet when I stopped to read Psalm 103, I got a glimpse of David's good LORD. Let me share some of it with you:

Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me. 

He forgives my sins

and heals my diseases.

He redeems me from death

and crowns me with love and tender mercies.

He fills my life with good things,

My youth is renewed like the eagle's!

The LORD gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly.

The LORD is compassionate and merciful,

slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.

He will not constantly accuse us,

nor remain angry forever.

He does not punish us for all our sins;

he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.

For his unfailing love to those who fear him

is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.

He has removed our sins as far from us

as the east is from the west.

The LORD is like a father to his children,

tender and compassionate to those who fear him.

For he knows how weak we are;

he remembers we are only dust (Psalm 103:2-6, 8-14, NLT).

On this page, written many, many years ago, I see the heart of my own Savior. One who is Forgiver, Healer, Redeemer—compassionate and full of mercy and goodness. He doesn't deal harshly with us as we rightly deserve. He is a loving and tender Father. And He knows everything about us—even our weaknesses. He certainly knew David's, and yet this was the LORD David knew and loved—and the LORD that loved David, despite his many failures.

For any who may be longing for the LORD, this little Psalm is packed full of Him. If you read it with understanding, you will clearly see His good character and it will hopefully birth in you, a longing to know and serve Him better. Charles H. Spurgeon's Treasury of David states this about Psalm 103: "There is too much in the Psalm, for a thousand pens to write, it is one of those all-comprehending Scriptures which is a Bible in itself, and it might alone suffice for the hymn-book of the church." 

I am no David—or even a Charles Spurgeon. But I've come to know each characteristic listed in this song of my LORD, drawing me to a true longing for Him. The world is filled with discouragement and painful situations. Life presses upon all of us at times and fills us with a deep ache—an ache only the good LORD of Psalm 103 can fill. Do you want Him? Do you long for Him? He is our good, good Father who despite the circumstances of living in a broken and sinful world, fills our lives with good things. May we take some time today to reflect on His character and thank Him for His tender, compassionate love toward us. 

When The World Shakes Around You

A number of years ago, I recall sitting on my couch in the living room when my house began to rattle and shake. Living in the Lake Norman area of North Carolina, earthquakes are not common, nor are they quakes that cause significant damage. They fall relatively low on the scale of intensity, but it's a weird and unsettling feeling nonetheless, and one I had never felt before.

Lately, our world is shaking. Earthquakes—yes, but in a very real sense, the world around us is unsettled—full of chaos and frightening events. My heart breaks for Haiti. My spirit feels shaken by the events in Afghanistan. Our country is at war over the handling of Covid19, dividing families and friends. The stock market has been impacted by all of these events causing fear and uncertainty in people's financial welfare. 

Personally, your world may be shaking, too. Maybe it's one of your children facing a terminal illness. Maybe it's your spouse, unfaithful and uncaring. Maybe it's your business—struggling to survive in an unstable economy. Or maybe it's even you—sick and tired of life and the struggles you're facing day after day. The world around you seems to not only be shaking, but tumbling down on top of you.

These feelings aren't new, in fact, they take me back to the early Church believers and the many trials they faced. Persecution was a daily worry. They were well-acquainted with suffering. We read often in Scripture where Paul and other New Testament writers wrote words to encourage them in the midst of these trials. We know from history that these believers faced be-heading, death in the arena by hungry lions, and many other forms of torture and imprisonment. And in the middle of these thoughts my heart is bolstered by these precious words from Scripture—the same words spoken to them many years ago:

"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you (1 Peter 5:10)."

"So they went on their way from the presence of the Council, rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name (Acts 5:41)."

"If we endure, we will also reign with Him; if we deny Him, He will also deny us (2 Timothy 2:12)."

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us (Romans 8:18)."

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4)."

"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison (2 Corinthians 4:17),"

Today, if your load is heavy, rest on these words from Scripture. God longs to comfort us in our deepest struggles and offers us His strength to endure to the end. Some days our souls feel so weary and our body is tight with worry, stress or fear. Jesus has great compassion for our feelings and our worries and our shaken world. He calls us to Himself with these beautiful, hope-giving words:

"'Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30).""

Our world may shake, but if our foundation is built on Jesus, we are safe and secure. He will not be moved or shaken so we can hold onto Him with confidence—no matter what we are facing in this season. May these simple words and thoughts offer comfort and encouragement when your world shakes and threatens to bring you down with it. Hold fast to Jesus, trusting Him to see you through.

RPM

I am Thomas

I sat beside his bed, holding the hand of my husband. Thirty years of doing life together conjured up so many rich memories. How could I go on without him, I wondered? We were a team—partners, lovers, and best friends. And now this. The doctors had given us news that literally shook us: stage 4 cancer. How are you supposed to handle that kind of news? 

In another home across the world a woman sat alone. Fearful and heartbroken, she faced the awful news that her husband had left her. The clothes and books and his well-worn recliner seemed to mock her in his absence. Was it over? Would things ever be okay again? How was she supposed to move forward alone? She missed him desperately, yet here she was—broken and filled with doubt.

Centuries earlier, a similar situation played out in a distant land. As he looked on, he saw his friend hanging on a cross. Broken and bloodied and dying. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He had placed all of his faith in this Man, and now He was dying—leaving them and shattering his hopes that Jesus was truly the long-awaited Messiah. Why had he been so foolish to believe, he thought to himself? Why did it have to end this way?

The disciples were gathered together and Jesus appeared to them after that awful day of His death. While Jesus had told them prior to His death that He would indeed die and raise from the dead, they didn't understand what He meant. So when they saw Him, their hope was restored—He really was the Messiah. He really was Who they had believed Him to be. This caused them great joy and I'm sure, a huge sense of relief. But Thomas wasn't there. He didn't get to see Him, and when he was told that Jesus had appeared to them, he refused to believe it.

Not only did Thomas refuse to believe the news, but he adamantly refused. In fact, these are his words:

"Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe (John 20:25, ESV)."  Never.

Eight days later, Jesus appeared to His disciples again, except this time Thomas was with them. How do you think Thomas felt when Jesus, knowing his heart and his words, asked him to place his finger in the nail print in his hand and to place his hand on His side and feel the place where the sword had pierced Him? I would imagine in that moment, Thomas felt an ocean full of regret and sorrow. He had doubted the Lord, and the Lord had called him out on it. Not in a mean way—but in a very direct way. And Jesus then told Thomas: "Do not disbelieve, but believe (John 20:27b, ESV)." 

It's so easy to point fingers at Thomas and judge him for his doubting heart. How could he have seen the works of the Lord and then doubt His identity? He had watched Him perform many miracles in the three years he spent with Him—healing people, feeding multitudes from only a few loaves and fish, raising people from the dead. How could he have been an eye-witness to these miraculous acts, only to doubt Him as He hung on the cross? It seems foolish, and yet I've been there, and maybe you have too.

The truth is, God heals cancer. God restores broken marriages. God gives the addict freedom from substance abuse. God makes a way when it seems there is none. God cures. God rescues. That's what He does, and I often easily forget that when I'm faced with situations that seem absolutely impossible. I doubt Him. I forget what He's done. I'm no different or better than Thomas.

But Thomas didn't stay a doubter. After he touched the wounds of Jesus, he appropriately addressed Him as "my Lord and my God." History records that later Thomas would lose his life as a martyr. He could have stayed in a place of disbelief, but he didn't—and I don't have to stay in a place of doubt either. Why? Because I've personally seen the hand of Jesus miraculously move in my own life. I've had a front row seat to witnessing the power of God transform people—transform my marriage, and transform lives. When I stop to consider these things I can release worry and doubt that grips my heart when I'm the one sitting by the hospital bed or facing an unfaithful spouse or a child addicted to drugs. Is it hard—yes. Does it hurt—absolutely. But I serve a God who is able.

Even though He is able, God doesn't always heal that stage 4 husband. He doesn't always bring back a wayward child or spouse. The addict will take the final dose that takes their life. Our world is broken, and sin has touched every part of it. But as believers, we don't have to live in a place of doubt. God will make all things new and restore His creation. He cares about us and wants us to hope in Him. He can do all things, and in His strength, so can we. And sometimes–somedays, that's enough to remove every bit of doubt from our hearts no matter what we are facing. May we, like Thomas remember—truly see Him, and then address Him as our Lord and our God. 

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind (James 1:6, ESV). 

Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him (Mark 11:23, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to be remembered by our faith, and not our doubts. May we be Christians that leave a legacy that says "they trusted in God, and lived it." In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Manipulation Game

 It starts as very young children—innocently enough initially until they figure out they own power over a caretaker. It's different than a new baby crying to signal hunger or discomfort, it's an action backed with intention. A temper tantrum is a clear sign of early stage manipulation—I'll scream and carry on until I get on your nerves so much that you'll give me what I want. As soon as you give them what they wanted to make the screaming stop, they think to themselves, "hey, that works!" And so it begins.

This behavior often follows us into our growing up years. We say things to manipulate a response: "If you really loved me, you wouldn't ground me for 3 weeks." The parents talk among themselves and reduce the punishment. They have in short, been manipulated. Why do we fall for this? Because our love is short-sighted and we don't enjoy punishing the people we love. By short-sighting our relationships though, we are failing to raise children who realize that A) sin has consequences, and B) manipulating us is not an option.

What is manipulation? It is defined as an action "to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner." (www.dictionary.com). The older we get, the better we often become at being manipulators. We learn what works with certain people and we skillfully use words or actions to influence them to do what we want them to do. This is a very damaging way to manage our relationships, and often leads to the parting of ways. If we manipulate our children, they are watching us and learning from our own behavior, thus, pouring this same manipulation into their own familial relationships. So, what do we do about it, and is there any hope to re-train ourselves to find value in differing opinions, behaviors and decisions other than what we prefer?

Manipulation is said by behavioral experts to be rooted in fear and insecurity. What we know from Scripture is that fear is not from God. ("For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline- 2 Timothy 1:7, NLT.") We also read in the Bible that there is no fear in love ("There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love- 1 John 4:18, NIV.) So we can surmise that fear is from Satan, and fear has no place in love. This poses a problem for allowing manipulation into our relationships as believers, and yet it is often prevalent in how we handle our kids, co-workers, and especially our spouse. 

Manipulation is a form of controlling others. When we practice controlling behavior, we are removing God from the equation. We may not be aware that we are essentially doing that, but isn't God the One who should be in control? Now here is another uncomfortable bit of truth. I've been a manipulator and I've been manipulated—and you have also played on both sides of the field. Some have a bigger struggle with it than others, but as believers, it's a behavior we need to eliminate from our lives. The only way we can even begin to tackle it is to understand that we have this problem and sincerely desire change. When we get to this point, only then is there hope for God to move in and work to change our hearts. When our hearts are changed, what flows from our words and our actions will also change as those are directly impacted by the state of our spiritual hearts.

If you recognize this damaging behavior in your own life, my prayer today is that you would acknowledge it, then learn to take it to the feet of Jesus. He longs to banish our fears and insecurities, and He promises to give us strength and help for anything we face. Depending on the severity and the root cause of our manipulative behaviors, we may find ourselves in need of counseling from a professional. But most of us can find what we need in Christ to kick this bad habit to the curb. May we allow God to purge us from using skillful influence to get what we want from the ones we love, because at the very core of it all, we are damaging our relationships. God, help us today to see ourselves with open eyes and open hearts, and be willing to allow You to work in us for our spiritual and relational good. 

Examples of Manipulative Behavior: (a very short list)

*Compliments before giving your parents your report card

*Withholding sex from your spouse over an argument

*Guilting your child to stay home because you're lonely

*Complimenting a co-worker so they do something that should be       your job to do

*Putting someone down to elevate yourself

*Pouting because your guy chose to play basketball instead of shopping   with you

*Crying to get out of a speeding ticket

*Using a loud, angry voice to intimidate

*Preaching a sermon that was tailored to jab at one person in the   congregation

*Misrepresenting a product to make a sale

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive us for this sinful, damaging behavioral pattern we often portray in our lives. Purge us from manipulation and help us to see how damaging it is to our relationships. Lord, may we remember that You are in control, and it is best left that way. In Your precious name we pray, Amen!

Hope is Better than We Realize

 I was in the grocery store the other day, and I heard a little boy talking about getting a dog. "I really hope we get a new puppy, mom." I could see longing in his eyes and hear it in his voice. Getting a puppy is a pretty big deal for a kid, and I remember hoping for the same when I was a child. Lucky for me, I've come to be the owner of quite a few dogs—each very special to me.

Maybe like me, you have a laundry list of things you are hoping for. I hope I get to go somewhere warm, balmy and tropical this summer. I hope spring weather comes soon—I'm sick of rainy, cold days. I hope my children have the most amazing future and enjoy a close relationship with their Heavenly Father. I hope the money we invested in dog training produces the most well-behaved Jack Russell terrier around (quite the feat). The truth is, I hope for many things, yet my hoping does not guarantee they will come to pass. 

"Hope" is a word we use very differently in our culture than what it means when read it in Scripture. When we hope for something, we are essentially "wishing" for it. Our hope is something we long for, but it simply may not happen. If we applied this same meaning when we read this word in Scripture, it would imply that our hope in God isn't really secure—it's possible, but not guaranteed! When we understand God and His Word, we see how our use of this word today cannot be the same as when it was used in God's Word when relating to our hope being in God.

"Hope" is commonly used to mean a wish: its strength is the strength of the person's desire. But in the Bible "hope" is the confident expectation of what God has promised and its strength is in His faithfulness." (onlinelibrary.wiley.com)

When we speak of biblical hope, we speak of it with confidence. The weather, people, finances, and situations are all circumstantial things we may hope for, but they are not definite and we cannot know how those circumstances will play out. Our hope is a desire, but we may not get what we wish for.

In the Bible, hope and faith are interlinked. When we look at Hebrews 11:1, we see evidence of this: "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Our hope is a sure thing, because we have faith in God. This type of hope is only available and known by believers. Our hope is characterized by confidence and not just wishing for something. 

Another characteristic that accompanies our hope is anticipation for something far  better. We are waiting and hoping on our Lord's return to take us home. What is waiting for us—our eternal inheritance in Christ, is far better than the best we can possibly experience here. Our hope lies in a promise given by Jesus when He left this world: "Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done (Revelation 22:12, ESV)."

Friends, with all of the uncertainties and painful circumstances we experience, isn't it wonderful to have confidence in our Father? To know He is with us, for us, and coming soon to take us home? This isn't just something we wish for—it's an absolute. Somedays when life hurts—when people disappoint me and my heart is broken, I find such comfort in knowing my trials are temporary. Whatever situation you may be battling in this moment, it has an expiration date. Our hope is something we can be sure of—deliverance is coming!

Maybe when you use this word the next time, you'll remember what it means when it's rooted in God's promises. It can be confusing when we think of hope as only a possibility when we understand the faithfulness of God. And as we read it in Scripture regarding our future in Christ, understand it is a promise and God always keep His promises. Our hope in Christ isn't on shaky ground—it isn't tied to wishing or longing. May we know with absolute confidence that God is our hope, and one day soon, He will bring us into the good of that hope—our eternal inheritance. I long for it—yes. I wish for it—certainly. But oh how awesome it is to be assured of it. 

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience (Romans 8:24-25, ESV).

For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope (Romans 15:4, ESV).

"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you (Psalm 39:7, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for being the Source of our hope. Your faithfulness gives us confidence that our hope in You is secure. We don't have to wish or wonder, we can know. We look forward to our inheritance, Lord, and thank You for the hope You have given us. In Your name we pray, Amen.

The Heart of Mary

I distinctly remember the weeks following the birth of my firstborn son. I remember sitting with him on our couch, pondering many things about him. Where would those little feet travel? What would his first word be? What would his hands touch, and who would they provide for? I hung on every sound he made, listening intently for signs of distress. After two miscarriages, God had given me the treasure of this child, and I would love him forever. 

Even as I had these thoughts, I also thought about the bad things that would surely happen to him. I hoped his hands and feet would not lead him into trouble, but I also was wise enough to know they likely would. His mouth would say things that would be hurtful, because he was human. He would make choices I would not like and he would do things that would bring us disappointment. This is the normal course of life for us as fallible humans—falling and failing because ultimately, we are all sinners.

But Mary. Can you imagine the thoughts she must have had about her firstborn Son? As I've enjoyed readings of late of the Christmas story, Mary has spoken to my mother's heart. What must it have been like to mother the Savior of the world? The differences she would see in her Son must've been striking, and unlike anything she had ever heard about or seen before. It all began in the most unconventional way with a visit from an angel.

For the first decade and a half of Mary's life, she surely had been around other babies with their mothers. She surely saw the natural way that children want their way—temper tantrums and all. She surely saw them cry and whine and disobey. She would have watched as exasperated moms exercised discipline to alter the behavior of their disobedient children. But all of that would be absent in her mothering of Jesus, the Holy and Perfect Son of God. 

All of this would be included in the pondering of Mary's heart that we read about in Luke 2:19. In addition would possibly be the visits from the shepherds and the wisemen. The virgin birth would have also been admittedly astounding, yet would solidify the validity of this Child's title as Messiah. Simeon's message to them in the temple would also stand out in her mind. But aside from all of this would be the notable difference in His character and behavior, beginning at infancy.

What must it have been like to love Jesus as mother and Savior? I love how this same Scripture says she "treasured up all these things" as she pondered them. The thoughts of our sweet babies are thoughts we treasure. But even as we have many thoughts we treasure, we also know our children will bring us disappointment at some point along the way. They will make mistakes. They will disobey and need correction. But Jesus never did. 

As I enjoyed the thoughts Mary surely had, my heart was touched by the character of Jesus. Pure, holy, loving and kind. This Child would become the Bridge between us and God. He would offer Himself as a substitute for the punishment that should have been ours, because He deeply loved us. And for me, that conjures up quite a bit of pondering in my own heart for Jesus—our promised Messiah and Savior. Hope was woven into this Baby whom Mary treasured. Hope not only for Mary, but for me and for you. As Christmas has passed for another year, the real story behind it remains. And just like Mary, may I also treasure up thoughts of Him as I ponder Who He is, and the reason He came: to rescue sinners like me. 

But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart (Luke 2:19, ESV). 

And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart (Luke 2:51, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we are so grateful You came to rescue us and save us from our sin. May our hearts be like Mary's—touched with treasured thoughts of You. In Your name we pray, Amen!

A Visit to My Past

 Maybe some of you have thought about what you would write in a letter to yourself, should you be able to write one to the young version of you. Would you warn yourself of future mistakes, and tell yourself things to do to avoid them? Would you tell yourself not to worry about all the little things, and instead, focus on the big picture? Or maybe you would tell yourself to listen to the advice of parents, or godly friends who were seeking to lead you to better paths than the one you would choose. Whatever, the case, we all have lived and learned and through our victories and poor decisions, we've become who we are right now. 

I look back at myself as a young girl of eleven, trusting Jesus to be my personal Savior. Skinny legs and bucktoothed and innocent, I was just getting started in life. I was naive, bright-eyed, compliant, and timid. Life is pretty uncomplicated at eleven. Nothing major had shook the foundation of my life. Not death. Not sickness. Not relationship struggles. No financial strains or big decisions to make. No real responsibilities. No—life was easy for me as a little girl. And because of the lack of the pressures of life, my knowledge of Jesus lacked depth. My eleven year old self trusted Him as my Savior, but knew little about Him in a personal way at that time.

Fast forward almost four decades, and I wish I could sit beside that eleven year old girl, and give some advice. It would not include anything about making different decisions as much as it would be about encouraging myself to know that God would walk each wrong one, and each right one, right beside me. I would tell myself that hurt is real. Betrayal is devastating. Sickness can be discouraging. Parenting is tough. Marriage is work. Money can run short. Anxiety is a battle. Death shatters hearts. Bad decisions will be made. But no matter how low you may feel some days, God will make Himself known to you in those low places. I would encourage her in knowing that for the bad seasons that would surely come, there would be so many wonderful seasons—seasons of joy, hope and love. "Don't get discouraged and give up", I'd say.

Stepping away from looking back, I can really look at where I am today. I see how prayer has changed not only me, but circumstances. Over and over again, I've seen it happen. I see how God's Word really is living and active and gives us discernment and help. It's bursting full of wisdom, instruction, encouragement, and hope. On days when my heart was so broken, His Word soothed my wounds. I've heard His voice when I desperately needed to, giving me hope and strength for the moment. He's healed me many times. He intimately cares for me, for my marriage, for my family and my loved ones. His Spirit within me has been the constant that always, always carries me through.

Yes, life would be hard. Life is hard. But without all of the hard stuff, I would not have the opportunity to grow and to really know more of Jesus. And because that isn't best for me, I will have many challenges along the way. These are for my good, and not meant to destroy me or diminish my faith. Some would love to go back and do life differently, and I get it, because mistakes can be painful. Mistakes can hurt others as well as myself. But for me, I can see how all of the hard situations and hurt led me to a better place—they all led me to the arms of Jesus. And the more time I spend there, the more I know Him. The more I know Him, the more I love Him. 

So a message to my eleven year old self would be this:He is real. He is faithful. When everything seems wrong and impossible, that's when you see Him best. You'll learn to know Him, because you always need Him. But if you had an easy road ahead, you'd miss out on so much. You'll always be a work in progress, until the day the Lord calls you home. Keep pushing forward though, knowing it's a race, but that the prize is worth it. You are so loved, and you need His love to see you through. God is using every situation in your experience to make you ultimately aware of His plan for you, and His purpose for your life. So keep going, little one. Be courageous and strong, because He is Your Rock. Lots and lots of love, an older and wiser me.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9, ESV)."

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing (Zephaniah 3:17, ESV).

...And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20b, ESV)."

It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed (Deuteronomy 31:8, ESV)."

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for walking through life with me. It's such a privilege and blessing to know You are with me in all things—whether good or bad. May I remember that the hard seasons drive me closer to You, and without them, my relationship with You would be shallow on my part. Give me Your strength for all that's ahead, and hope that You will carry me through every situation. In Your name I pray, Amen!

Accepting Disappointments in Life

 I was in eleventh grade and I liked this guy. I was sure he could be the one for me. He was nice, loved God, and was easy on the eyes. I prayed about him, and waited. I waited a while longer, and prayed a little more. The days passed and then the months passed, and it still didn't happen. Next thing I knew, he had a serious girlfriend, and it wasn't going to happen. Freshman year of college-the same scene played out in my heart. I liked him, I hoped for him, but no matter what I prayed, or how long I waited, it just didn't happen. My heart was bruised and I was disappointed, yet God held out longer still before my soul mate would be revealed. My friends all seemed to be dating, and I remained unhappily single. 

I can go back to my late 20's and see a similar situation play out in my life once again. All I ever really wanted was to be a wife and a mom. God finally had given me my long awaited love, but I was still waiting to be a mother. My first pregnancy ended in a surgery room. What was left of my baby was removed as my heart was shattered in a million pieces. I had longed for that child. I had prayed for that child, yet God didn't allow me to parent my first little one-nor did He allow my second baby to safely live until delivery. My heart once again faced severe disappointment as I waited for its desire to be granted. 

Elusive love and delayed motherhood are just some of the disappointments I've faced in life. I've had my writing material rejected, I've been passed over for projects I hoped to work on, I've had dreams that fizzled and died, and I've lost friends and family members I prayed would make it through. I've watched my husband walk out the door, devastating my heart in ways nothing else could. The truth is, life can be really hard, and if we aren't prepared for those disappointing seasons, we won't be able to stand firm when they hit us like a ton of bricks.

One of the hardest truths out there is realizing that just because I'm God's child, I'm not promised an easy path. In fact, we are told in scripture that if we are His children, we will experience heartache and pain. Just as we discipline our own kids in order that they will mature and grow into responsible adults who contribute well to society, God disciplines us in order to make us grow and mature into children He can use for His kingdom work. Withholding discipline from us would result in lazy children-children unwilling and unable to fulfill our spiritual purposes. 

Looking back now behind me, I can see how many of my disappointments were for my own good. Had I been given the first guy I prayed for, I would not have the privilege of the love God gave me in my husband. And that guy? He wandered from God and did not live a life of spiritual purpose and usefulness. I can now see God's hand of protection in denying the prayers of my young heart. And while I did not get to mother my first two children, I can see how God placed a more tender love in my heart for the two He did allow me to mother. I clearly see the gift in being their mom, and my heart was softened toward my two blessings in ways I can't put into words. 

Maybe life isn't going the way you wish today. Your heart may be struggling with rejection. You may have been led along and then painfully dumped. You may be waiting for motherhood, wondering why God is holding out. Your heart may be shattered by infidelity or abuse. You may be grappling with a diagnosis that doesn't seem fair, and God seems so far away. Our world is broken, and it's not possible to live here and not have the cost of sin touch our lives. But we are given a promise as God's children-we are never, ever, ever alone. We are not forgotten. He always hears our prayers. He always loves us and because He does, He will allow painful things to transform us from being "self-focused" to "God-focused." 

Disappointments are part of life-it's true. But when we look at them as being an integral part of refinement, we can better accept that we must face disappointment if we are to grow. And we will not grow the way God wants us to, if we despise our disappointments and blame God for not giving us what we wanted. We would be like spoiled kids, mad that we didn't get our way, even when our way isn't what's best for us. We won't have all the answers this side of eternity-some disappointments may never make sense here. But when we understand that our God is a good God, then we have to trust Him even when we don't get it. So whatever you're battling today, hold on to the promise that God is doing something good through your disappointing circumstances. He has a better plan, and we don't always need to understand it-we just need to be willing to allow Him to work His good purposes through us. 

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10, ESV).

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world (John 16:33, ESV)."

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV).

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:18, ESV).

Dear heavenly Father, forgive me for how often I long for my own way, despising Yours. Disappointments will come, and when they do, help me to remember that even when my heart is hurting, You will bring about good through my obedience to Your plan and purpose for me. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Lowest Places

 It was a cold and sunny winter day. I was on the way home from rehab for my "runner's hip"- even though I've never been a runner. But Zumba creates stress on the hip flexors, and I had just left my appointment headed for home. My heart was so sick with the reality of my marriage, and the realization that my husband was gone. It was new, and it was so unwelcome- this intrusion in my peaceful and safe life. I had no idea how to process this reality and in my despair, I swerved over to a vacant lot and literally fell apart. I stayed there for some time-I have no idea how long, just until my tears and yelling were spent. It was one of the lowest places of my life, and I look back at that moment with assorted feelings. One-life can be really painful, and two, in those low places, we are not alone.

I think of the life of Job in the Old Testament. He lost his health, wealth, his livestock and all of his children. How can you handle that sort of loss? It's a staggering thought, and so difficult to truly enter into his suffering. His friends were not the kind to bring hugs and prayers and homemade meals. Instead, they pointed out reasons why they believed he was being punished. His wife urged him to curse God, rather than offer encouragement, support and care. This "low" goes beyond the scope of my imagination. One of the most remarkable men to have lived, he refuses to curse God and throw in the towel. In contrast, he recognized God as his only Source of hope. If he could've seen down the road, he would've seen himself healthy, wealthier and enjoying a full household of children and grandchildren. Yet in his lowest place, he simply had to trust that God had a plan in his suffering.

My lowest place in no way compares to Job's, yet it was my lowest place. It was a time when I had to choose to either be angry at God and turn bitter, or believe that He had a good purpose that would spring from this painful situation. It didn't happen overnight, but I had known God long enough to know He isn't cruel and He doesn't allow us to suffer without purpose. I also physically felt Him with me through each painful moment of that season. Lowest places are terribly unpleasant, yet necessary for our spiritual growth. They show His faithfulness in ways we don't see in our better days, because we often forget His goodness when we aren't as aware of our need of Him.                                           

I bet you can go back to your own low place in life. A time when your heart was devastated and your dreams were shattered in a million pieces. Your low place may be a lot worse than mine-yet if you know Jesus, you know you were not left to handle it alone, either. Life is hard, but life with Jesus gives us hope and help in those lowest places. When you stop to think of someone in a "low" place, you realize they need rescued. They need help getting back up again. While Jesus is the biggest Resurrector of our low places, we also need the love and encouragement of friends and loved ones.

If someone comes to mind today that is sunken in their own place of despair and pain, God wants you to move in and reach out your hand to help them recover. It may be that meal, a hug, a listening ear, a check, or your prayers. Especially if that person is walking a similar trial to your own past experience, you have a unique ability to understand, encourage and lend support. God is doing good things through my own painful past-a blessing I couldn't have seen when I was in the thick of it. While it wasn't something I would have chosen for myself, God allowed it to happen because He can see past the painful event and straight to the purpose that would grow from it. What good have you seen spring forth from your past hurts? Are you allowing God to use it for His purposes, or holding on to bitterness and nonacceptance? The truth is, if we are called to walk through low places, why not allow God to redeem them? One day, the pain will be past, but what we did through it will last forever.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us (Romans 8:18, ESV).

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2, ESV).

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28, ESV).

And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me (Psalm 50:15, ESV)."

Dear heavenly Father, help us truly depend on You to bring us through our lowest places, and remove the foolish notion that we can do it on our own. Help us as well to see the needs of others, and to bear their burdens, fulfilling one of our purposes as the body of Christ. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Recovery Is Possible

Most days I forget the pain of the past. I can make it through the whole day without thinking once about where we were a few years ago, and how it forever changed me. But some days I remember. Some days, I look at myself and I'm amazed that with God's help, I survived-our marriage survived! So my blog post today is for any who may be going through a really difficult situation in your marriage, or even in your own life that seems impossible to make it through. God seems far away and you feel uncertain and skeptical that your heart will feel joy again. Your days are filled with fear, sadness and discouragement. You feel you'll never smile again, and your heart will never heal. If that's you-I want to encourage you to have hope that better days are ahead for you. It may seem like I speak empty words in this season for you, but I know-I've been there. I want to promise you that God can restore your broken heart. I want to whisper words that will allow you to believe, today, that healing will come for you. It won't mean you'll be the person you used to be, and if you really think about it, do you want to be?

I remember it as clear as if it were yesterday. I sat in my counselor's office, leaning forward on that couch and with a pained heart, I asked her, "how long? How long will it take for healing?" She told me that the average amount of time was right around two years. But she also told me that some parts of infidelity would forever change my reaction in certain situations. She truthfully told me that I would never return to the exact woman I used to be. She stressed how important it was for both partners to actively do their part in the recovery process if our marriage had a chance to heal from the affair. Weeks later, I was joined by my husband in therapy, and we began formulating our own recovery plan. The road ahead would be difficult, but we knew that we were following God's plan in our decision, and that with His help, we had a really good shot at this. 

Whatever you're up against, don't forget that God is in it with you. I often wonder how people make it through big life obstacles without His help, comfort, wisdom, and guidance. I look at the broken woman I was back in the worst of it, but on closer inspection, I can see how God was actively using others to help restore my hope and my joy. He hugged me through the arms of other believers. I can see how His Word spoke life and hope into my wounded heart. I needed almost constant reassurance from Him, and He provided each and every time. That same God is with you, too. He longs to carry your burden for you. He wants to heal us-He really cares! We read of many He healed physically, emotionally, and spiritually in the New Testament, and we see evidence of His faithful healing all around us still today. Even yet-we often doubt it will happen for us. We long for it, but our hearts feel skeptical. 

My marriage is just one example in a long thread of answered prayers in my life. God doesn't always heal in the ways we ask for. But even when He says "no", recovery is possible when we realize He understands a bigger picture than what we could ever see or comprehend. While I am forever changed in many ways, I am also truly recovering. I am living proof that God is a Healer of the brokenhearted. It won't happen overnight because there are lessons to learn in the broken places of our circumstances. Recovery is a process. It's a process of learning to trust God in those painful seasons when hope is hard to grasp. It's a transformation in our self-dependence to dependence on Him. It will hurt, but I want you to believe it'll happen for you, too. Because the same God that walked me through the fire and out the other side, longs to walk with you as well. Recovery is real-and my prayer today is that each one stuck in a place of pain can have renewed hope that your heart will sing with joy again. Believe-because He is able.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you (1 Peter 5:10, ESV).

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3, ESV).

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28, ESV).

He restores my soul (Psalm 23:3a, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for the hope we have in You for our recovery from brokenness and pain. Sometimes, we feel unable to manage the hurts of the day, yet we know that in our inability, You are our Perfect, Able Father. Help us to remember, no matter how bad the day, that our recovery will come. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     

Knowing the God of the Storm

     I've had the pleasure of knowing God in very unpleasant circumstances. Is it a different God than the God of my other days? Is it the God that is right along with me, when I'm totally oblivious to Him? Is He the same God that hears my daily prayers, and is the subject of my daily reading? Well, He is always the same God, but He feels so much different to us when we are in the middle of a crisis or a storm. God hasn't necessarily changed in those moments, but my awareness of Him does, and He exemplifies different characteristics than the God of my usual days.
     The likelihood that you know the God of the storm is relatively high. If you're His child, and you live in this broken world, then storms will naturally come into our lives. We can choose in those moments to draw close to God, or we can choose to cast unwarranted blame at His feet. Our petulant nature feels He owes us a storm-free life as Christians. This is a naive way of thinking, and we are so much better prepared if we expect them to come our way, and choose to draw our strength from God when they do. 
     I've been a follower of Jesus for 39 years. I'm ashamed to admit there have been days I've forgotten He was with me. I've been guilty of allowing life's responsibilities and pleasures to crowd Him out of my mind. I've taken Him for granted, even though I owe no one more than I owe Him. He's never left me, even when I took the wrong path and did sinful things. God is faithful even when we stray. The days where storms were absent didn't change who God was, but they foolishly permitted me to take Him for granted, until storms hit my own life.  
     The God of the storm is so compassionate, so full of comfort, so encouraging, so strength-giving, and so very near. I'll be the first to admit that the storms of life are painful, and experiences I wish I didn't have to wrestle face. But I'm so blessed to know that aspect of God. When I struggled with infertility and lost pregnancies, He was my Comforter and Friend. When I wrestled with my identity as a mom and a wife, and needed guidance, He was my Guide and my Source of wisdom and encouragement. When my heart was broken from a broken marriage, He filled the sad places of my heart and whispered words of love and hope. I desperately needed Him, and He loved being needed and wanted by me.
     Friends, isn't it humbling and yet precious to know He wants to be needed by us? I often shake my head in disbelief that God would want me or need me. And I also feel sorrow that storms are often necessary to drive me to His waiting arms. God is no less sweeter or stronger when I think I don't need Him-and I wish it didn't take a storm for me to love Him and bring Him into every moment of my life, no matter the situation. If you've walked through a storm and allowed Him to carry you through, you know the God of the storm. Such precious help and hope and healing He brings to us who call on Him. Forgive me Father, for the days I take You for granted, and I thank You for Your unfailing love and devotion to me. God-You want me- I'm so amazed by that and I'm forever grateful.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10 ESV). 
The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you (Psalm 9:9-10 ESV). 
When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:17-18 ESV).  

Dear heavenly Father, we thank You for always being present with us as Your children, and we thank You for drawing so close when we are in the middle of a storm. Your presence gives us hope, peace and comfort. May we appreciate Your unfailing love for us each day, no matter our circumstances. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     

Waiting On Your Answer

     The days ticked by, and still it wasn't happening. It just didn't seem to matter how much I prayed, or how much hope I tried to muster, he still wasn't home. I believed God was able, but I couldn't figure out why He wasn't stepping in and giving me the desires of my heart. I waited. I hoped. I prayed. I believed-yet, God chose to allow the situation to continue. I couldn't understand it in those days and months-it simply didn't seem right. I felt much like the father in the story of the prodigal son, faithfully waiting for my own prodigal to return, only to go to bed each night again, disappointed and lonely.
     Waiting doesn't come easy for any of us when we are waiting for something we desperately want. Surgery dates, root canals, court dates and the last day of vacation don't work that way. Those come much quicker than we can even imagine, but not the anguished prayers of our hearts-those take time. Even so, God has great purpose in our waiting, and oftentimes He withholds our answer because He is doing a greater work in our own hearts and lives. It's our moment of being purified by His fire, and the goal is the become more like Him. It burns and it hurts, but the process is for our spiritual good-good that has eternal value. 
     What are you waiting for today? What desperate pleas are you lifting up to our heavenly Father? Is it a child that has wandered from their faith? Is it a husband that has fallen to alcoholism? Is it a daughter who carries a child conceived out of marriage? A husband content to play video games and skip church? A wife who is unfaithful and unwilling to return home? Is it a sick child-fragile, and too young to die? Or maybe your job situation is less than ideal, and causes you great anxiety and stress. Some of us are in the middle of some pretty big trials, and some much less, yet we all have walked inside situations we longed to escape. 
     If you're one of the ones that feel desperate today, can I encourage you not to lose hope? Can I remind you that in this season of waiting, God is refining you? Can I encourage you that He only refines His own children, and that by walking through this trial, you can feel connected to Him as your Father? I won't profess to love my own seasons of waiting, because I can promise you, those seasons are painful. And while they are painful, they are also sweet. I've never felt closer to Jesus than in those dark valleys of waiting. Because it was in those moments that I knew my absolute need of Him. And He never lets us down in those seasons-He is always faithful and always giving us the strength and comfort we need to wait another day.
     Friend, keep praying, and don't lose heart! There is no situation too difficult for God, and there is no situation He doesn't walk with us. We are not left alone to figure it out on our own. We often feel we are, and take matters into our own hands only to make a bigger mess of it. As hard as it is somedays, trust Him with it all. Believe that He's working, even when you can't see it. And never stop looking for your own prodigal to walk down that long road toward home. And when it happens-praise the God of Heaven each day for His goodness to us. 

I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, ... Ezekiel 34:16a (ESV)
For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost Luke 19:10 (ESV).
For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found." And they began to celebrate Luke 15:24 (ESV).

Dear heavenly Father, we are all prodigals, and You've waited so long for each of us so many times. You know the anguish of our hearts, and are no stranger to waiting. Give us patience and hope as we wait for You to do a marvelous work through our prayers for Your ultimate glory. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Living Without Sin

     Today, my heart is heavy when I think of the world we live in. Depravity of every kind fills the hustle of modern day cities, as well as the quiet gentle slopes of the countryside. You can't turn on the news without hearing awful things. Nor could you scroll through social media without squirming with discomfort. School cafeterias buzz with plans-plans that involve sin. Hospital corridors are teeming with patients suffering the results of sin. Co-workers whisper of things that should never be said. Church walls witness sinners in desperate need of a Savior. And my own heart is a place that is in a constant battle against that 3-letter word-sin!
     Without sin, we would live in a perfect world. This is a world only experienced by two humans-Adam and Eve. A world unstained before the fall of mankind. A world fully connected with God. This world was pain-free. It was open and trusting and completely harmonious. No wars. No racism. No worry. No sickness. No sadness. No divorce. No sexual sin. No selfishness. No natural disasters. No hunger. No death! Nothing at all that could hurt us. It's a world that I honestly can't imagine, because I've never lived there. But I know that someday, I will.
     I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to heaven. But even though I am, I'm unable to grasp what it will be like to no longer be tempted. I can't begin to understand never feeling worry, pain, or sadness. I don't know a world that isn't self-absorbed. I worry about illness, or the loss of a loved one. I am in a constant war against aging and body image. I feel a craving for more-a craving that can't ever be fully satisfied because my list of wants continually grows. This is all we know, because we live after the fall of Adam and Eve. But I long for better.
     If I assigned a mental picture to entering heaven's gate, there would be a huge pile of burdens, too high to measure, laying just outside of it. I would walk through with such relief after such a weary journey through life. Oh, how I long to see the face of Jesus-for sure, but I also long to feel the absence of sin and how deeply it affects every aspect of my life. I long to finally be at complete peace with no worries or cares weighing heavily on my mind and my heart. I long to be holy. And while many days here make me smile with joy, the burden is always there, always lingering, and always beckoning me to succumb to the desires of my flesh. 
     You've been hurt by sin. We all have. None have been exempt from its wages. But if you belong to Christ, it's all just temporary. And while we can claim victory over temptation through His Spirit each day, it's a constant war. Some wars we will win, and some we will falter and fail. As our hearts are heavy with the devastating current events-we long for better days, yet we cannot experience complete peace and unity in a sin broken world. What our souls long for is heaven-a place where sin will be forever put away. And while I can change my own actions, the world will continue to disappoint me. Until I'm home in heaven, sin will be an issue for me. I'll wrestle with it until the day I die. But one day-one day soon, it'll lose its hold on me. I long for the release of its deadly grip, and I daydream of how wonderful it will to finally be free.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23 (ESV).
Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned- Romans 5:12 (ESV).
Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins Ecclesiastes 7:20 (ESV).
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me Psalm 51:10 (ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we long for the day sin will be forever removed from us. It hurts others, and it hurts me. Our sin had such a cost to Your Son, Jesus, and through that cost, He made a way for us to be free! We look forward to the day we will no longer struggle with it, and are at perfect rest in Your presence. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     
     

Will You Love Me Tomorrow?

     I've not been feeling exactly like myself, lately. I feel a little messier and a less put together. My nails are a wreck- short, thin and brittle from chipping off my own gel polish. We don't really have any reason to get dressed up or to get our make-up just right. It's a lot of gym clothes and pony tails. It's a "we're stuck in the house, and snacks beckon us", kind of month. Gyms are closed. So while I'm a fan of self care, I've been a little re-miss lately at doing a great job in this department. I know many of my girlfriends feel the same way- a little unpolished and unkempt. And if we aren't careful, this feeling will carry over into our spirit, whispering lies about who we really are and what our true worth is. Can you feel me? Have you felt a little out of sorts during this quarantine way of life?
     Self image is an age old ploy of the devil to rob us of how God sees us. And while a little effort is important, it still comes down to one basic bottom line in love- it's a choice. My mind goes to a couple  I follow through social media. Two attractive people, married only a few years. A disfiguring accident changed the whole course of their life. She no longer looked beautiful on the outside, at least according to the world's standard of beauty. Her life would now include the need for round the clock care, a wheel chair and diapers. As far as self image- this is a helpless place to live, day in and day out. You can't will yourself to look like you used to, or navigate like you used to- this is the new reality for this lovely couple, and they are ...thriving. How is this possible, given their current state? Again, we go back to the basic truth -love is a choice!
     Can you love like this? Selfless. Serving. Exhausting. It's one of the deeper, darker trials of life, and yet it's possible when we understand what love really is. For those of us who have been betrayed in love, it's hard to believe that we could be loved in this way. We may doubt it's possible, but our worth does not rest in who we think we are, or even in who our spouse thinks we are, but rather in who God says we are. And when we understand that God loves us in our lowest state, it should shame us to think of how shallowly we often love others. When Jesus willingly died an excruciating death to save me, out of His great love for me, He set the bar really high for how I'm to love. If I'm honest, I fall short far more often than I hit the mark. 
     Your words and actions have the power to eradicate doubt and fear in your spouse. We all go through periods of insecurity and we all feel "less than" at some point in our lives. Right now, we are all missing our hair stylists, nail techs and fitness instructors. We may be feeling a little less attractive, but it doesn't change the heart of who we are, or the choice to love through those messier seasons. Let's not listen to the lies that this changes our worth or makes us less worthy of love. Let's heed the call of Scripture that encourages us to build others up, fulfilling a real need in every one of us. One day, hopefully soon, my nails may look better. One day soon, I can get back to my gym routine. But I'm no less today, than I was or will be. Every day, I'm chosen. Every day, I'm loved. Every day, I'm reminded that God found me worth dying for. My circumstances don't change that. And when we love one another in this way, fears and doubts are cast out. And we know- we really know, we will be loved tomorrow.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (ESV)
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18 (ESV)
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, help us to remember our value does not rest on our outward beauty- but as we read in Your Word, You look in our hearts. May we learn to love like You love, without conditions. And may we learn to listen to what Your Word says about us and not the lies Satan whispers in our ears. May I love my spouse every day- no matter what. In Your Name I pray, Amen!