I love big, and I love many. My husband, my kids, my family and friends hold my heart in a big way. I love to do things for them- cook their favorite meals, surprise them with something from Target, or send little texts that remind them of my love. I love things too- food (sadly), places (tropical), my Explorer, a good massage (Gayla- you're the best), and a good book. My laptop is awesome, and I'm a big fan of my own bed. I love my house, and I enjoy going out on our boat. But things are always less important than my people.
I put a lot of myself into the people I love. I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking of them, doing things for them, and loving them. And I like to take care of the things I love- keep them safe, clean and enjoy them. I love each person, and to a lesser degree, each thing- but they shouldn't be what I set my affection on. While my marriage was important, it should have taken its proper place after my affection for Jesus Christ.
The world, including me, gets a lot of things backwards. We have a "me first" attitude, and it causes us to live selfishly, instead of selflessly. Healthy marriages aren't built on selfishness. When I put my own wants and needs first, my marriage won't thrive. And even if I put my husbands wants and needs first, while our marriage will be better, it won't be the best it could be. But when I put Jesus in the proper place of priority, our marriage has the best chance of being the best that it can be.
This scripture should be my motto for life: Set your minds on the things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2 ESV. If I give my Heavenly Father the proper place of authority in my life, all my other relationships will be better- healthier, and more satisfying. When I live and love according to the principles found in scripture, my marriage will benefit. When I look back over the past, I can see where I allowed my priorities to be out of order. While it is natural for a mother to love her kids ahead of herself, if I love the Lord more than them, I will be a better mom. If I love Jesus more than my husband, I will be a better wife. He must be first, and I should be last- loving others more than I love myself. This is the way Jesus lived, and loves. He loved me so much that He gave His life for me. I didn't deserve this love from Him, and yet He chose to give it to me anyway. When I love like Jesus did, every relationship I have will be much better. So I encourage each of you to love Him first, and others next. When you do, you will be amazed at the way it will enrich your relationships, and draw you closer to our precious Savior.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 ESV
He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30 ESV
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. Romans 8:5 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to properly prioritize my life, and my relationships. You should always come first, Lord, and yet I often fail to give you the prominence in my life that You deserve. Forgive me for my selfish ways, and help me to live and love like You did. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Sunday, January 27, 2019
Thursday, January 24, 2019
His Story- Playing with Fire
This isn't something you set out to do. If I could have stepped back, and seen the destruction and ruin from my choices, I would have run the other way with abandon. But wisdom was no longer my friend, as I had ever so slightly turned my back on God. Satan only needs a tiny opening, and he attacks with vengeance. I had always considered myself strong, but I was about to be exposed for my lack of exercising His strength in me.
It started innocently enough. I had met her two years prior in a business setting. A co-worker of mine introduced us, as they had gone to school together. She was in our corporate accounting department at our headquarters, and each month I had to email her new accounts for editing and corrections. At the beginning of the month, I would send the expected email, and never thought anything of it. One particular month, I had an issue, and needed to call regarding it. We talked for a few minutes, and I found the conversation intriguing. The reason for intrigue, was her playfulness on the other end of the phone.
I continued to send my monthly email, and found out she had been transferred to another department. I was curious as to why, as I felt she did a great job in accounting. I found out her cell number, to inquire about the transfer. I wanted to know where she planned to transfer, and the reason why. I now had a dangerous piece of information- a personal way to contact a woman who wasn't my wife.
We now had established a regular format of conversation, based on me lending advice and support. I would check in every few weeks, and eventually every week, and before I knew it- daily contact! The more contact we had, the more fun it seemed to me. It felt like an outlet from my hectic life- an escape from what I felt trapped in. Conversations would start with business related issues, and then drift into more personal things. I vividly remember talking to her while driving, and she asked me if I was married. I remember feeling guilty when I told her I was, and I remember her pause in the conversation, and then we moved on to other topics of discussion.
My heart felt guilt in these conversations and thoughts, and God convicted me throughout this time, but I pushed it aside. So often I would get a text from my wife, followed by one from her. It was if God was reminding me of what I was doing- and who my attention should be on. I thought I could handle it, but without acknowledging the Spirit within, I was vulnerable and weak- a perfect target for Satan.
This is the beginning of a story I wish I could change, but I let down my guard, and left my First Love- Christ. It's so important to keep ourselves armed with the whole armor of God. His reasons for boundaries and warning of sin, isn't to punish us and keep us from good things. The fact is- He loves us, and wants to protect us from hurt and ruin. Had I been connected in a healthy way with the Lord, I would have avoided hurting my wife, my children, and so many others. If you have been there, you understand the guilt and devastation of your choices. But this is the beginning of my story- and I serve a God of amazing grace. As you journey with me through it, I pray you will see my story with eyes of compassion, and that you would use it as an example of a heart that grows cold to Jesus. Learn from my story- the great cost of turning from God.
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. Proverbs 14:12 ESV
If we are faithless, he remains faithful- for he cannot deny himself. 2 Timothy 2:13 ESV
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10 ESV
Be sober-minded; be watchful, Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, how I wish I had listened to Your voice, and followed Your way for me. Instead, I allowed Satan to bring me down. I hurt those who love me the most, and I hurt You. Father, forgive me for the pain I have caused, and I thank You for grace I don't deserve, yet You liberally offer it to us without end. Help me to have the courage to share my journey, praying it will show others redemption found only in You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
It started innocently enough. I had met her two years prior in a business setting. A co-worker of mine introduced us, as they had gone to school together. She was in our corporate accounting department at our headquarters, and each month I had to email her new accounts for editing and corrections. At the beginning of the month, I would send the expected email, and never thought anything of it. One particular month, I had an issue, and needed to call regarding it. We talked for a few minutes, and I found the conversation intriguing. The reason for intrigue, was her playfulness on the other end of the phone.
I continued to send my monthly email, and found out she had been transferred to another department. I was curious as to why, as I felt she did a great job in accounting. I found out her cell number, to inquire about the transfer. I wanted to know where she planned to transfer, and the reason why. I now had a dangerous piece of information- a personal way to contact a woman who wasn't my wife.
We now had established a regular format of conversation, based on me lending advice and support. I would check in every few weeks, and eventually every week, and before I knew it- daily contact! The more contact we had, the more fun it seemed to me. It felt like an outlet from my hectic life- an escape from what I felt trapped in. Conversations would start with business related issues, and then drift into more personal things. I vividly remember talking to her while driving, and she asked me if I was married. I remember feeling guilty when I told her I was, and I remember her pause in the conversation, and then we moved on to other topics of discussion.
My heart felt guilt in these conversations and thoughts, and God convicted me throughout this time, but I pushed it aside. So often I would get a text from my wife, followed by one from her. It was if God was reminding me of what I was doing- and who my attention should be on. I thought I could handle it, but without acknowledging the Spirit within, I was vulnerable and weak- a perfect target for Satan.
This is the beginning of a story I wish I could change, but I let down my guard, and left my First Love- Christ. It's so important to keep ourselves armed with the whole armor of God. His reasons for boundaries and warning of sin, isn't to punish us and keep us from good things. The fact is- He loves us, and wants to protect us from hurt and ruin. Had I been connected in a healthy way with the Lord, I would have avoided hurting my wife, my children, and so many others. If you have been there, you understand the guilt and devastation of your choices. But this is the beginning of my story- and I serve a God of amazing grace. As you journey with me through it, I pray you will see my story with eyes of compassion, and that you would use it as an example of a heart that grows cold to Jesus. Learn from my story- the great cost of turning from God.
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. Proverbs 14:12 ESV
If we are faithless, he remains faithful- for he cannot deny himself. 2 Timothy 2:13 ESV
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10 ESV
Be sober-minded; be watchful, Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, how I wish I had listened to Your voice, and followed Your way for me. Instead, I allowed Satan to bring me down. I hurt those who love me the most, and I hurt You. Father, forgive me for the pain I have caused, and I thank You for grace I don't deserve, yet You liberally offer it to us without end. Help me to have the courage to share my journey, praying it will show others redemption found only in You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Monday, January 21, 2019
I Don't Love you Anymore
When love is new and exciting, you can't imagine a day you won't feel that way. You get that fluttery feeling in your stomach when they touch you. You can't wait to see them after even a short time apart. They are always in your mind, and you often can't focus well on anything but them. This is love. But it's only part of love, and not what we will experience every day with our spouse.
Relationships grow, and we marry our love. Life settles in and the real life pressures begin to come back into our focus. We had been so busy with dating, and then wedding plans, that we weren't very focused on what else is going on around us. Work demands our focus. Responsibility piles up with owning a home, and paying bills. The grass keeps growing and it keeps needing cut. School loans mature. Pets that seemed cute to start our lives together with, have health issues, and require a lot more commitment and time than we anticipated. Sweet babies enter the scene, and our time alone together vanishes. Wife is busy with the kids, and husband is busy with his career. Tensions begin to escalate as we enter the full phase of family life.
It's interesting how different men and women are at our base level. Men are generally career and goal oriented, while women are more nurturing and loving by nature. How can two polar opposites function perfectly together? The truth is, they can't, and that is okay. God created us differently to compliment one another. But as we go along in life, we begin to see these differences as big problems that we are sure, others don't have. And we begin to doubt.
And one day, a very foolish thing comes across our minds- I don't love my spouse anymore. Some people process this in a more healthy way, and realize that we all feel "out of love" with our spouse from time to time. Others assume this is the end of a marriage, and call it quits. In our case, it led to an affair. Marriage kind of love is a choice- and not built on romantic love. There will be days I don't feel hopelessly in love with my spouse, and what I do with that is vital to a healthy marriage. While we need to put effort into maintaining our romantic love, we also need to remember our vow to love our spouse- regardless of my feelings and conditions.
Love is from God- and He is the essence of love. He is the only One that will perfectly love us at all times. Sadly, we won't return the favor, because we are selfish in nature. Our marriages are to be patterned after Christ's love for us- without condition. If we truly love one another like He loves, we will be wise enough to stay in the fight for our marriages. I remember the promises I made to my husband almost 26 years ago, and I know this- love is a choice, and I choose to love him, even on the hardest of days, because this is the love God has shown to me.
With humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, Ephesians 4:2 ESV
"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. John 15:12 ESV
Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8 ESV
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me remember that love is a choice. I won't always feel romantic love for my spouse, but I will choose to love anyways. I thank You for the pattern of love You have shown us- a love full of grace and compassion. Your love has nothing to do with merit, and everything to do with choice. And so I will also choose to love Your way. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Relationships grow, and we marry our love. Life settles in and the real life pressures begin to come back into our focus. We had been so busy with dating, and then wedding plans, that we weren't very focused on what else is going on around us. Work demands our focus. Responsibility piles up with owning a home, and paying bills. The grass keeps growing and it keeps needing cut. School loans mature. Pets that seemed cute to start our lives together with, have health issues, and require a lot more commitment and time than we anticipated. Sweet babies enter the scene, and our time alone together vanishes. Wife is busy with the kids, and husband is busy with his career. Tensions begin to escalate as we enter the full phase of family life.
It's interesting how different men and women are at our base level. Men are generally career and goal oriented, while women are more nurturing and loving by nature. How can two polar opposites function perfectly together? The truth is, they can't, and that is okay. God created us differently to compliment one another. But as we go along in life, we begin to see these differences as big problems that we are sure, others don't have. And we begin to doubt.
And one day, a very foolish thing comes across our minds- I don't love my spouse anymore. Some people process this in a more healthy way, and realize that we all feel "out of love" with our spouse from time to time. Others assume this is the end of a marriage, and call it quits. In our case, it led to an affair. Marriage kind of love is a choice- and not built on romantic love. There will be days I don't feel hopelessly in love with my spouse, and what I do with that is vital to a healthy marriage. While we need to put effort into maintaining our romantic love, we also need to remember our vow to love our spouse- regardless of my feelings and conditions.
Love is from God- and He is the essence of love. He is the only One that will perfectly love us at all times. Sadly, we won't return the favor, because we are selfish in nature. Our marriages are to be patterned after Christ's love for us- without condition. If we truly love one another like He loves, we will be wise enough to stay in the fight for our marriages. I remember the promises I made to my husband almost 26 years ago, and I know this- love is a choice, and I choose to love him, even on the hardest of days, because this is the love God has shown to me.
With humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, Ephesians 4:2 ESV
"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. John 15:12 ESV
Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8 ESV
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me remember that love is a choice. I won't always feel romantic love for my spouse, but I will choose to love anyways. I thank You for the pattern of love You have shown us- a love full of grace and compassion. Your love has nothing to do with merit, and everything to do with choice. And so I will also choose to love Your way. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Monday, January 14, 2019
Family Ties or Divide?
I have an amazing family and extended family. These are my people, and I love them. We are loud, and a little crazy. I have one sister, and two brothers, and tons of nieces and nephews. We all live in the same area and spend holidays together. These people are not just my family, they are my friends.
Family is fiercely loyal- at least mine is. We stick by each other through the good and the bad. This doesn't just apply to my siblings and parents, but extends to the older nieces and nephews as well. We don't believe that in-laws aren't equal to the original clan; we accept them as one of us. So when our marriage fell apart, it was painful to so many!
In family, we have a huge source of support and love. I am so thankful for that, and leaned heavily on them. Each one of them was always there for me, willing to help in any way. While I welcomed their comfort, I had to be careful. I had a lot of feelings and information that was painful- things that would be hard to hear and know. And while I had a burden I was carrying, I often felt the harder stuff was best not shared with them.
I was hurt and unsure of what the future would hold. Would we ever reconcile, or would this end in a painful divorce? Regardless of what had happened, I did love my husband (at least by choice). If we ever reconciled, I would be able to forgive the things he had done, but would they? If I shared really painful information with them, I could hinder those relationships from being restored if we decided to work things out.
This was, at times, a lonely journey. Had it not been for my husband's sister, I would have really struggled. I knew that his sister would continue to love him, no matter what I said. I knew she was praying for us all through the day and even during the night. I knew she loved me, and I knew she loved our children. She sent encouraging texts, scriptures and checked in often through the day. She was a safe place for my scariest thoughts, and I will always treasure her for that.
I want to encourage you to find a person like that. Choose wisely, and think about how this person will respond if you ever decide to reconcile. Don't automatically assume you won't reconcile- wait on God's timing and answer. We need someone we can take our feelings and thoughts to, knowing they will respond in love and with spiritual wisdom. But remember we have another valuable resource- our Heavenly Father! He is always with us, and longs to carry our burdens for us. He wants this valley to bring us close to Him and rely on His strength to see us through. I spoke to Him in my head, and I spoke to Him out loud. And you know what? The most wonderful thing happened when I talked to Him - He spoke back! Listen friends, really listen. He will speak, and you won't want to miss it!
Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22 ESV
Blessed be the LORD, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. Selah Psalm 68:19
How can I bear by myself the weight and burden of you and your strife? Deuteronomy 1:12 ESV
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for family. I pray that I will not say things to them that will cause division or anger. Help me to be wise in what I share, and who I share things with. May I always remember the resource I have in You- You long to carry my burdens for me, so I gratefully lay them at Your feet. Thank You for Your love for me, Father. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Family is fiercely loyal- at least mine is. We stick by each other through the good and the bad. This doesn't just apply to my siblings and parents, but extends to the older nieces and nephews as well. We don't believe that in-laws aren't equal to the original clan; we accept them as one of us. So when our marriage fell apart, it was painful to so many!
In family, we have a huge source of support and love. I am so thankful for that, and leaned heavily on them. Each one of them was always there for me, willing to help in any way. While I welcomed their comfort, I had to be careful. I had a lot of feelings and information that was painful- things that would be hard to hear and know. And while I had a burden I was carrying, I often felt the harder stuff was best not shared with them.
I was hurt and unsure of what the future would hold. Would we ever reconcile, or would this end in a painful divorce? Regardless of what had happened, I did love my husband (at least by choice). If we ever reconciled, I would be able to forgive the things he had done, but would they? If I shared really painful information with them, I could hinder those relationships from being restored if we decided to work things out.
This was, at times, a lonely journey. Had it not been for my husband's sister, I would have really struggled. I knew that his sister would continue to love him, no matter what I said. I knew she was praying for us all through the day and even during the night. I knew she loved me, and I knew she loved our children. She sent encouraging texts, scriptures and checked in often through the day. She was a safe place for my scariest thoughts, and I will always treasure her for that.
I want to encourage you to find a person like that. Choose wisely, and think about how this person will respond if you ever decide to reconcile. Don't automatically assume you won't reconcile- wait on God's timing and answer. We need someone we can take our feelings and thoughts to, knowing they will respond in love and with spiritual wisdom. But remember we have another valuable resource- our Heavenly Father! He is always with us, and longs to carry our burdens for us. He wants this valley to bring us close to Him and rely on His strength to see us through. I spoke to Him in my head, and I spoke to Him out loud. And you know what? The most wonderful thing happened when I talked to Him - He spoke back! Listen friends, really listen. He will speak, and you won't want to miss it!
Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22 ESV
Blessed be the LORD, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. Selah Psalm 68:19
How can I bear by myself the weight and burden of you and your strife? Deuteronomy 1:12 ESV
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for family. I pray that I will not say things to them that will cause division or anger. Help me to be wise in what I share, and who I share things with. May I always remember the resource I have in You- You long to carry my burdens for me, so I gratefully lay them at Your feet. Thank You for Your love for me, Father. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Sunday, January 13, 2019
Holding on to Hope
Have you ever hoped to win a million
dollars? I’ve actually wasted time imagining what I would do with it. Just in
case you wondered, I would pay off our house, our cars, and college for the
kids. I would probably take an exciting family vacation. And of course, give
some to something worth-while. This is me hoping in the impossible. But when it
comes to real life possibilities, there is always hope.
It’s easier to hope for the little things-
a sunny day after too many rainy days, a cup of coffee after a restless night
of sleep, or a shower after a workout. But for the bigger things- a good job,
buying a new house, or considering a move across the country, we can feel a
little stressed and unsure. Our hope can waver when it doesn’t seem there’s a
sure answer in the near future.
But then we hit a storm in life, and it’s
tough to have hope. I know, because it was something I had to constantly remind
myself of- hope in all situations. In fact, I put a reminder on my lock screen
on my phone that says: I wait for the LORD, my soul waits. And in His Word I
hope. Psalm 130:5. There is a story behind that...
It had been a particularly hard day. One where
we had made progress in our relationship, and then I found out he went back to her.
I was DEVASTATED. I spent a tear-filled night in bed, begging for something to
hold on to that would give me the hope I longed to keep. I could feel the Spirit
with me, but I had no answers. Then, in the morning, the verse of the day
arrived on my phone- it was Psalm 130:5 (the verse above). Wow! God speaks,
He really does. Hold on to hope, my friend. God really is able, and can do what
seems impossible. Just when we think there is no way possible, He opens a way. It may not be the way we thought it would be, but if He is in control, we can rest in knowing it's the very best way for us.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 ESV
"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Psalm 39:7 ESV
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience Romans 8:25 ESV
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12 ESV
For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O LORD, from my youth. Psalm 71:5 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me not to lose hope. You are the God of hope, and all things are possible with You. On the dark days, and in the sleepless nights, help me to remember Your power and might. You made the heavens and the earth. You designed the human body- so complex, and so orderly. You conquer our enemies, and You are always able. Thank You, Lord for being the source of my hope. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
ps- I almost posted this yesterday. And guess what the verse of the day was yesterday? Psalm 130:5;)
ps- I almost posted this yesterday. And guess what the verse of the day was yesterday? Psalm 130:5;)
Friday, January 11, 2019
Bearing one another's Burdens
You may remember the Bible story about Moses and his friends, Aaron and Hur. Here is a scripture reference that gives you a good picture of what they did for him:
But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. Exodus 17:12 ESV
During a battle, the Israelites were only winning while Moses held up his arms. Can you even imagine trying to hold your arms up for an entire day? Now, I love some Zumba, and one class I take is called Zumba Tone. For one hour, we do Zumba dances while we hold light weights above our heads. When you initially hold them up, it's super easy, but after an hour, yikes- I need Aaron and Hur!
I have been in a battle for my marriage over a year, and along the way, my arms grew weary. It was an experience that led to emotional exhaustion. There is no way I could hold up my arms that long without help. Along came my Aaron and Hur in the form of family, friends, and fellow believers. They came in droves, bringing kind words, encouragement, food, hugs, and prayers. They sat with me, invited me over, cried with me, and held me up. They didn't come for a couple days or weeks- they remained in the battle with me. I will always be grateful for those who helped carry my burden. When we come alongside someone who has a burden, we are living out a scriptural command (Galatians 6:2), and lightening the load for them.
If you are in a battle, no matter what you're fighting against, share your burden with others. We are notorious for trying to handle our own problems, feeling it's a sign of weakness to ask for help. When we carry a heavy load, we will feel anxious, stressed, and afraid. But when we allow others to share our burdens, we feel more equipped to handle them in a healthy way. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. When we don't ask for help, we are often too afraid to show we are vulnerable, just like everyone else.
For me, I needed people to pray for me. I wanted a few who could talk me through the more difficult times. I longed for a dinner companion. I needed financial advice. The bathroom fan stopped working, and I'm hopeless with that sort of thing. I had friends that encouraged me in my new business venture, and gave advice. People slept over when I was lonely or afraid. These were simple acts of kindness that spoke of their love for me, and lightened my load. Friends, share your burdens so that others can exercise the truth of Galatians 6:2 (see below). And if you see someone with a burden, be Aaron and Hur to them- even if it's coming to Zumba with me.
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 ESV
Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22 ESV
The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to share my burdens with others. We often let fear and pride hold us back, but we can't carry our burdens well on our own. Help me to allow others to know my needs, so they can carry out the truth we find in scripture. And always, Lord, help me remember You long for us to give our burdens over into Your capable hands. Thank you for Your willingness to bear them for us, Lord. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. Exodus 17:12 ESV
During a battle, the Israelites were only winning while Moses held up his arms. Can you even imagine trying to hold your arms up for an entire day? Now, I love some Zumba, and one class I take is called Zumba Tone. For one hour, we do Zumba dances while we hold light weights above our heads. When you initially hold them up, it's super easy, but after an hour, yikes- I need Aaron and Hur!
I have been in a battle for my marriage over a year, and along the way, my arms grew weary. It was an experience that led to emotional exhaustion. There is no way I could hold up my arms that long without help. Along came my Aaron and Hur in the form of family, friends, and fellow believers. They came in droves, bringing kind words, encouragement, food, hugs, and prayers. They sat with me, invited me over, cried with me, and held me up. They didn't come for a couple days or weeks- they remained in the battle with me. I will always be grateful for those who helped carry my burden. When we come alongside someone who has a burden, we are living out a scriptural command (Galatians 6:2), and lightening the load for them.
If you are in a battle, no matter what you're fighting against, share your burden with others. We are notorious for trying to handle our own problems, feeling it's a sign of weakness to ask for help. When we carry a heavy load, we will feel anxious, stressed, and afraid. But when we allow others to share our burdens, we feel more equipped to handle them in a healthy way. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. When we don't ask for help, we are often too afraid to show we are vulnerable, just like everyone else.
For me, I needed people to pray for me. I wanted a few who could talk me through the more difficult times. I longed for a dinner companion. I needed financial advice. The bathroom fan stopped working, and I'm hopeless with that sort of thing. I had friends that encouraged me in my new business venture, and gave advice. People slept over when I was lonely or afraid. These were simple acts of kindness that spoke of their love for me, and lightened my load. Friends, share your burdens so that others can exercise the truth of Galatians 6:2 (see below). And if you see someone with a burden, be Aaron and Hur to them- even if it's coming to Zumba with me.
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 ESV
Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22 ESV
The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to share my burdens with others. We often let fear and pride hold us back, but we can't carry our burdens well on our own. Help me to allow others to know my needs, so they can carry out the truth we find in scripture. And always, Lord, help me remember You long for us to give our burdens over into Your capable hands. Thank you for Your willingness to bear them for us, Lord. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Wednesday, January 9, 2019
Relinquishing Control in our Marriage Messes
I don't like gray. I'm not talking colors, I'm talking about things that fall outside the lines. I am more of a black and white girl, and prefer safety nets. I don't like vague or the unknown. These things make my head spin and fill me with anxiety. If I'm honest, I don't like giving control over to anyone else, in case they mess things up. And when my marriage crumbled, I wanted to figure out a way I could fix it- fast!
Maybe if I said just the right thing at the right time, I could turn this shipwreck around. If I dressed differently, maybe he would return my affection, and ultimately return home. I came up with quite a few game plans, and watched every one of them go up in smoke. I begged and pleaded with God to fix things. I knew He was able, but He chose not to immediately release me from this fiery trial. I remember the countless times that I lay crumbled on the floor, tearfully pleading with my Heavenly Father to have mercy and restore my husband and my marriage. There was no doubt in my mind of His ability to swiftly answer me in the positive, yet He remained silent on the matter.
Friends, when God is silent, He is STILL working. If God had answered me right away, and brought my husband home, I would not know Him the way I do today. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with worry. Worry says I am not trusting God, and that stings when I hear it plainly stated. All of my suggestions to Him on what He could try next, are actually insulting to Who He is. How could I think I knew better than God? I'm ashamed, looking back, at some of my thought patterns which perfectly displayed my distrust in the Lord.
Infidelity is so traumatic, that we often don't think clearly. If I can't trust my husband anymore, can I trust God? I knew in my head that God was trustworthy, but my heart was just not getting it. The truth is, God cares for my marriage more than I ever possibly could, but He also cares about me individually. Just as we want our children to trust us, especially with the big things in life, God is no different with us. By choosing to make me wait, He exercised my faith in Who He is. When I tried to maintain the control I never really had, I became anxious. But when I relinquished control and let God fight my battles, I felt peace.
If your marriage is a mess, I get it, it's stressful. If you're struggling with trying to control the outcome, I know of One Who is able to handle it for you. Honestly, the problem is just too big for us, but it isn't too big for our God. When we allow Him to step in and take control, we can have faith that the best possible outcome will happen- and only He knows what that is. Letting the fate of my marriage rest in the hands of the Almighty was the only path to the peace I longed for. He knows what we need, and when to move. Stop fighting for control, sweet friend, and lay your burden at His feet. Rest in knowing that this all powerful God can handle it, and we simply can't!
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. Proverbs 19:21 ESV
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9 ESV
Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases. Psalm 115:3 ESV
But Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your absolute ability to handle my problems. Forgive me for trying to control my marriage, and its outcome. Help me to remember that I will only feel peace when I leave it in Your capable hands, and that anxiety will attack me when I try to do it on my own. Thank You for caring not only for my marriage, but for me. I love You for being invested in every aspect of my life, and will always be grateful that You chose me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Maybe if I said just the right thing at the right time, I could turn this shipwreck around. If I dressed differently, maybe he would return my affection, and ultimately return home. I came up with quite a few game plans, and watched every one of them go up in smoke. I begged and pleaded with God to fix things. I knew He was able, but He chose not to immediately release me from this fiery trial. I remember the countless times that I lay crumbled on the floor, tearfully pleading with my Heavenly Father to have mercy and restore my husband and my marriage. There was no doubt in my mind of His ability to swiftly answer me in the positive, yet He remained silent on the matter.
Friends, when God is silent, He is STILL working. If God had answered me right away, and brought my husband home, I would not know Him the way I do today. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with worry. Worry says I am not trusting God, and that stings when I hear it plainly stated. All of my suggestions to Him on what He could try next, are actually insulting to Who He is. How could I think I knew better than God? I'm ashamed, looking back, at some of my thought patterns which perfectly displayed my distrust in the Lord.
Infidelity is so traumatic, that we often don't think clearly. If I can't trust my husband anymore, can I trust God? I knew in my head that God was trustworthy, but my heart was just not getting it. The truth is, God cares for my marriage more than I ever possibly could, but He also cares about me individually. Just as we want our children to trust us, especially with the big things in life, God is no different with us. By choosing to make me wait, He exercised my faith in Who He is. When I tried to maintain the control I never really had, I became anxious. But when I relinquished control and let God fight my battles, I felt peace.
If your marriage is a mess, I get it, it's stressful. If you're struggling with trying to control the outcome, I know of One Who is able to handle it for you. Honestly, the problem is just too big for us, but it isn't too big for our God. When we allow Him to step in and take control, we can have faith that the best possible outcome will happen- and only He knows what that is. Letting the fate of my marriage rest in the hands of the Almighty was the only path to the peace I longed for. He knows what we need, and when to move. Stop fighting for control, sweet friend, and lay your burden at His feet. Rest in knowing that this all powerful God can handle it, and we simply can't!
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. Proverbs 19:21 ESV
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9 ESV
Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases. Psalm 115:3 ESV
But Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your absolute ability to handle my problems. Forgive me for trying to control my marriage, and its outcome. Help me to remember that I will only feel peace when I leave it in Your capable hands, and that anxiety will attack me when I try to do it on my own. Thank You for caring not only for my marriage, but for me. I love You for being invested in every aspect of my life, and will always be grateful that You chose me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Tuesday, January 8, 2019
How Infidelity Wounds Body Image
If there is one thing I am certain of, it is how body image greatly suffers in the face of infidelity. Nothing invalidates us more than being passed over for someone else. The wounds don't quickly disappear, and may be a life struggle. We can seem to feel pretty confident in our looks and who we are, until we are rejected by our spouse. Those who have experienced this, can give me a painful head nod.
Rejection is an enemy of body image. We have the best intentions of feeling SELF confident, until it crumbles under the disapproval of our spouse. Never were my eyes more critical of myself than when I was faced with the awful truth of being left for another woman. What is it in me that is lacking, I wondered? Now let me be honest- I had a couple ideas up my sleeve already, since we women are generally pretty hard on ourselves. And since I'm being vulnerable here, I will let you in on my insecurities.
My primary insecurity is my loose, motherly stomach. If only it were still firm and flat, then maybe I would not be in this predicament. And where did all this cellulite come from? I used to try so hard to GAIN weight when I was younger. And why must my hair be so thin? I wish it was thick, full and naturally wavy. And if you really take a good look at me, I have a double chin. There- my flaws are out there for all of my blogging stumblers to find.
But the more I looked for my faults, the more I found the love of Christ. No matter what faults I saw, He chose me. No matter how many gray hairs I have, He knows each one, and completely accepts me. How shallow of me to question my body image in the face of sexual betrayal. Was my cellulite or double chin to blame for this mess? There is such a relief when we realize that our faults don't justify this kind of behavior. And if our love is based on physical traits, we don't know love. Too often, we fall into the trap of earning love based on sexual appeal and physical features. While it's true that we want to look nice and maintain our appearance for our spouse, it's also true that our love needs much deeper roots than that.
If your flaws are deflating you, step back and remember God's thoughts of you. He never holds cellulite or thin hair against us- He is far too busy looking at our hearts. Our culture puts far too much value on the outside appearance, and we miss the heart of those right in front of us. Some hearts are hurting and bruised. Some hearts are hard and lost. We need to really see others for who they are, instead of what they look like. God created you in His image. He loves us so much that He sent His Son to die in our place at Calvary. Don't miss the hearts of those you love, and don't be afraid to show yours to others. We are so much more than a face or a figure. Release your flaws to Him, knowing that we all have them. In the eyes of our Precious Savior, we are treasured beyond measure.
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 ESV
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14 ESV
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 ESV
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father,
Help me to remember that You gave your life to spare mine. It's so shallow to be focused on our outward appearance and miss the hearts of those around us. I pray for people to see my heart as well, and I pray that when they do, they will find You there. Thank You for loving me without limitations or conditions, and help me to love others with that same abandon. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Rejection is an enemy of body image. We have the best intentions of feeling SELF confident, until it crumbles under the disapproval of our spouse. Never were my eyes more critical of myself than when I was faced with the awful truth of being left for another woman. What is it in me that is lacking, I wondered? Now let me be honest- I had a couple ideas up my sleeve already, since we women are generally pretty hard on ourselves. And since I'm being vulnerable here, I will let you in on my insecurities.
My primary insecurity is my loose, motherly stomach. If only it were still firm and flat, then maybe I would not be in this predicament. And where did all this cellulite come from? I used to try so hard to GAIN weight when I was younger. And why must my hair be so thin? I wish it was thick, full and naturally wavy. And if you really take a good look at me, I have a double chin. There- my flaws are out there for all of my blogging stumblers to find.
But the more I looked for my faults, the more I found the love of Christ. No matter what faults I saw, He chose me. No matter how many gray hairs I have, He knows each one, and completely accepts me. How shallow of me to question my body image in the face of sexual betrayal. Was my cellulite or double chin to blame for this mess? There is such a relief when we realize that our faults don't justify this kind of behavior. And if our love is based on physical traits, we don't know love. Too often, we fall into the trap of earning love based on sexual appeal and physical features. While it's true that we want to look nice and maintain our appearance for our spouse, it's also true that our love needs much deeper roots than that.
If your flaws are deflating you, step back and remember God's thoughts of you. He never holds cellulite or thin hair against us- He is far too busy looking at our hearts. Our culture puts far too much value on the outside appearance, and we miss the heart of those right in front of us. Some hearts are hurting and bruised. Some hearts are hard and lost. We need to really see others for who they are, instead of what they look like. God created you in His image. He loves us so much that He sent His Son to die in our place at Calvary. Don't miss the hearts of those you love, and don't be afraid to show yours to others. We are so much more than a face or a figure. Release your flaws to Him, knowing that we all have them. In the eyes of our Precious Savior, we are treasured beyond measure.
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 ESV
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14 ESV
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 ESV
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father,
Help me to remember that You gave your life to spare mine. It's so shallow to be focused on our outward appearance and miss the hearts of those around us. I pray for people to see my heart as well, and I pray that when they do, they will find You there. Thank You for loving me without limitations or conditions, and help me to love others with that same abandon. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Monday, January 7, 2019
A Day in the Life of Broken Trust
It starts with one lie. This isn't a lie that says, "no- that dress doesn't make you look fat (when maybe it does)!" It's something more serious in nature than that. For me, what stands out the most was a lie about location. The trip home from work was taking longer and longer and things were starting to not add up. Once you notice one lie, you begin to see more clearly that others follow. This begins the slow and awful crumble to marital ruin, because one solid foundation of marriage, is trust.
My days and my thought patterns were completely altered once I lost trust in my husband. There were actions that continued to chink away at what was left of our marriage. Weird locations. Cell phone always face down. Constant texting when all of our family was present. New clothing. Long hours at the gym. A loss of intimacy. Weekend business trips. Anger. Sarcasm. Loss of interest in spiritual things. These were all terrifying to witness, and pointed to the awful truth we never want to accept in our marriages- unfaithfulness!
When we begin to doubt that we can trust our spouse, we begin to wonder if anyone is truly authentic. This is someone that should never have been dishonest with us. Marriage should be an open book- one where we are free to share our thoughts and feelings and be completely honest (except for the dress- because maybe I don't REALLY want to know that). When trust is jeopardized, walls go up. When walls go up, communication suffers.
The mind of a spouse that has lost trust is a complicated place. Anxiety sprouts up with anything that seems out of place. The mind goes to conclusions that are often not based on fact, but on fears. We imagine the worst, because we are living it. We initially lose confidence because the lies take away our security. It's a definite body slam to our world, and how we decide to brush ourselves off, and stand up is crucial to how we move forward in a spiritually healthy way. For me, there was One I knew I could always trust. His Word is full of kept promises and security. I knew that no matter who let me down on this earth, God never would. For this simple, yet beautiful reason, I clung to Him with desperation.
If you are floundering in a world of distrust and insecurity, I want to encourage you to start with Jesus. In Him, we are accepted. In Him, we are loved. In Him, we will never be lied to or rejected. In His Words, we can find healing. And with Him, we can learn to trust again. Whether it is in our marriages, or in other relationships, we are given the tools through scripture. We may or may not be given the opportunity to rebuild our marriages. I am confident if we are given the opportunity, through Christ, we can restore trust in time. It won't be a quick and easy process, but it can happen with broken and willing hearts. If we aren't given that opportunity with our spouse, we can find solid ground in our Savior. He does not want us to live in a world jaded by lies, but wants us to live in the freedom of His absolute truth. Living in fear of lies is not God's plan for us. So when these fears cross my mind and heart, I need to lay them at the feet of my Heavenly Father, and let them go. There is freedom in the blood of Jesus, and I'm going to choose His freedom over Satan's fear.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God, I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me? Psalm 56:3-4 ESV
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18 ESV
But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. Psalm 13:5 ESV
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father,
When lies threaten my security, help me look to You for solid ground. While lies hurt me, I pray You will open my heart in time to healing and forgiveness. Help me to find freedom from the fear of lies, and rest in the sure foundation of Your love and truth. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
My days and my thought patterns were completely altered once I lost trust in my husband. There were actions that continued to chink away at what was left of our marriage. Weird locations. Cell phone always face down. Constant texting when all of our family was present. New clothing. Long hours at the gym. A loss of intimacy. Weekend business trips. Anger. Sarcasm. Loss of interest in spiritual things. These were all terrifying to witness, and pointed to the awful truth we never want to accept in our marriages- unfaithfulness!
When we begin to doubt that we can trust our spouse, we begin to wonder if anyone is truly authentic. This is someone that should never have been dishonest with us. Marriage should be an open book- one where we are free to share our thoughts and feelings and be completely honest (except for the dress- because maybe I don't REALLY want to know that). When trust is jeopardized, walls go up. When walls go up, communication suffers.
The mind of a spouse that has lost trust is a complicated place. Anxiety sprouts up with anything that seems out of place. The mind goes to conclusions that are often not based on fact, but on fears. We imagine the worst, because we are living it. We initially lose confidence because the lies take away our security. It's a definite body slam to our world, and how we decide to brush ourselves off, and stand up is crucial to how we move forward in a spiritually healthy way. For me, there was One I knew I could always trust. His Word is full of kept promises and security. I knew that no matter who let me down on this earth, God never would. For this simple, yet beautiful reason, I clung to Him with desperation.
If you are floundering in a world of distrust and insecurity, I want to encourage you to start with Jesus. In Him, we are accepted. In Him, we are loved. In Him, we will never be lied to or rejected. In His Words, we can find healing. And with Him, we can learn to trust again. Whether it is in our marriages, or in other relationships, we are given the tools through scripture. We may or may not be given the opportunity to rebuild our marriages. I am confident if we are given the opportunity, through Christ, we can restore trust in time. It won't be a quick and easy process, but it can happen with broken and willing hearts. If we aren't given that opportunity with our spouse, we can find solid ground in our Savior. He does not want us to live in a world jaded by lies, but wants us to live in the freedom of His absolute truth. Living in fear of lies is not God's plan for us. So when these fears cross my mind and heart, I need to lay them at the feet of my Heavenly Father, and let them go. There is freedom in the blood of Jesus, and I'm going to choose His freedom over Satan's fear.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God, I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me? Psalm 56:3-4 ESV
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18 ESV
But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. Psalm 13:5 ESV
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father,
When lies threaten my security, help me look to You for solid ground. While lies hurt me, I pray You will open my heart in time to healing and forgiveness. Help me to find freedom from the fear of lies, and rest in the sure foundation of Your love and truth. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Saturday, January 5, 2019
If You had only Been Here, Lord
Life has its many ups and downs. Messes that seem impossible to fix. Hurts that are so deep, it seems they can never heal. The news is full of heartbreaking stories. But when pain touches your own life and home, hope can seem far away. Even harder- God seems far away. Why would God let this happen to me?
This verse is on my heart this morning : "Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." John 11:21 ESV. When our lives turn upside down, we quickly point our fingers towards Jesus, saying, "where are You in this? Why are you allowing this in my life?" Broken families, broken marriages, and broken hearts- these are all things He cares about, and yet they happen, even with Christians. Martha was frustrated with Jesus, and chastised Him for not being present, resulting in the death of her brother, Lazarus. His absence had a great cost to her!
Why are we so quick to ask God where He is in the dark part of our journeys? Has He ever proven Himself to be unfaithful to us? Before God sent us the Holy Spirit, it was true that Jesus wasn't physically present with Martha, Mary and Lazarus at his passing. For those of us who are His children, that can never be true. While we would love to place blame on God for allowing painful things to happen, it doesn't belong there.
When I allow myself to be distanced from His Spirit, I am in trouble. My marriage has greatly suffered from His absence in it. It isn't possible for both the husband and the wife to be walking close to the Lord, and land in hot water. We would love to place the blame anywhere, but on ourselves. We can't say- "Lord, if you had only been here..". We CAN say, "Lord, if I had only stayed with You."
If you are walking through a fiery trial, understand that as believers, He is with us. You are not alone on this rough part of your path. Jesus is present, and He longs for us to acknowledge His faithful Spirit. Jesus experienced betrayal from every single one of us, and yet He loves us still. It makes no sense, this love of our Savior. So today, step back from your painful circumstances, and look for Him- He is in it with us! He is carrying us when we are too weak to take another step, and just as He brought life back to Lazarus, He will bring us into the light and life of His love and hope!
Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20 ESV
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, we know You are never absent from us, and we confess we often stray from You. We quickly land in trouble when our lives aren't grounded in You. Help me to seek You in all of my life circumstances, knowing You are there, and You love me. Help me never to place blame on You for sin, and to accept blame when it's mine to own. When others hurt me with their choices- again, help me to know it isn't from You. Help me to grow in my relationship with You, knowing I will find Your strength there to carry me through these dark days. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
This verse is on my heart this morning : "Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." John 11:21 ESV. When our lives turn upside down, we quickly point our fingers towards Jesus, saying, "where are You in this? Why are you allowing this in my life?" Broken families, broken marriages, and broken hearts- these are all things He cares about, and yet they happen, even with Christians. Martha was frustrated with Jesus, and chastised Him for not being present, resulting in the death of her brother, Lazarus. His absence had a great cost to her!
Why are we so quick to ask God where He is in the dark part of our journeys? Has He ever proven Himself to be unfaithful to us? Before God sent us the Holy Spirit, it was true that Jesus wasn't physically present with Martha, Mary and Lazarus at his passing. For those of us who are His children, that can never be true. While we would love to place blame on God for allowing painful things to happen, it doesn't belong there.
When I allow myself to be distanced from His Spirit, I am in trouble. My marriage has greatly suffered from His absence in it. It isn't possible for both the husband and the wife to be walking close to the Lord, and land in hot water. We would love to place the blame anywhere, but on ourselves. We can't say- "Lord, if you had only been here..". We CAN say, "Lord, if I had only stayed with You."
If you are walking through a fiery trial, understand that as believers, He is with us. You are not alone on this rough part of your path. Jesus is present, and He longs for us to acknowledge His faithful Spirit. Jesus experienced betrayal from every single one of us, and yet He loves us still. It makes no sense, this love of our Savior. So today, step back from your painful circumstances, and look for Him- He is in it with us! He is carrying us when we are too weak to take another step, and just as He brought life back to Lazarus, He will bring us into the light and life of His love and hope!
Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20 ESV
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, we know You are never absent from us, and we confess we often stray from You. We quickly land in trouble when our lives aren't grounded in You. Help me to seek You in all of my life circumstances, knowing You are there, and You love me. Help me never to place blame on You for sin, and to accept blame when it's mine to own. When others hurt me with their choices- again, help me to know it isn't from You. Help me to grow in my relationship with You, knowing I will find Your strength there to carry me through these dark days. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Friday, January 4, 2019
Satan's Attack on my Marriage- Part Two
It's easy to see Satan at work in the lost. We can assign his hand to murderers, alcoholics, drug abusers, prostitutes and a long list of people whose lives are characterized by sin. But he doesn't just have jurisdiction on the lost, he most definitely goes after God's children as well- with fervency. According to 2 Corinthians 4:4, Satan blinds the eyes of unbelievers to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel. Satan once again doesn't stop there- he desperately seeks to blind the eyes of believers, with sin, to mess with their usefulness to God. Here is the scripture focus for today:
In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV
In my earlier blog post, I mentioned that Satan goes after the active ones- people that are considered a threat to his evil plans. He can make our blessings look like burdens. He can dangle things in front of us that seem like a much better path for us. Prettier women. Men with flattering words. Someone that seems to understand us better. A life without the restraints of God's Word. Better sex. Freedom. It all feels so alluring, and appealing. But these are all lies, things he will use to bring us down and cause ruin. Instead of living in the freedom we experienced through the blood of Jesus, we shrug back into the filthy bondage of guilt and shame. It's a familiar garment, one we wore well for far too long before we were His. But it has no place on the backs of believers.
There is no freedom in sin. There is no freedom in Satan. When we fall for his tricks, we lose joy and peace. We lose respect and confidence. This isn't a place God plans for believers, and His best plans are certainly not found in Satan's lies. Yet it happens, doesn't it? We see people who are prominent, useful, and active in the church fall. When we allow Satan to lure us away from God's ways for us, we will be temporarily blinded to what he is doing. We will question our blessings, and make excuses for why they are burdens. We will sit back, and watch marriages and families crumble, and shrug our shoulders. It won't look as ugly in the moment to the spiritually blind, but those with open eyes will look on with shock and horror at the awful price of sin. We know God won't stop pursuing a believer, and I'm so thankful for that. We can find hope in knowing that He will search for the missing sheep, speaking softly at times, and louder at others. And eventually, we pray that God will humble the blind. He is a God of restoration and healing, and He often does it when it looks completely impossible. Pray for the heart of those blinded by sin. Pray that God will open their eyes to the mess, chaos and ruin in the wake of Satan's destruction. And always- praying that through restoration, God will be glorified and honored.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 ESV
And give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:27 ESV
For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:3 ESV
For we do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for any who are spiritually blinded by Satan. Open their eyes to truth, and help them to clearly see the destruction of their choices. Guard me against this same blindness, and help my eyes to be fixed on You. Restore the lost and broken, and give healing to the hurt and set aside. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV
In my earlier blog post, I mentioned that Satan goes after the active ones- people that are considered a threat to his evil plans. He can make our blessings look like burdens. He can dangle things in front of us that seem like a much better path for us. Prettier women. Men with flattering words. Someone that seems to understand us better. A life without the restraints of God's Word. Better sex. Freedom. It all feels so alluring, and appealing. But these are all lies, things he will use to bring us down and cause ruin. Instead of living in the freedom we experienced through the blood of Jesus, we shrug back into the filthy bondage of guilt and shame. It's a familiar garment, one we wore well for far too long before we were His. But it has no place on the backs of believers.
There is no freedom in sin. There is no freedom in Satan. When we fall for his tricks, we lose joy and peace. We lose respect and confidence. This isn't a place God plans for believers, and His best plans are certainly not found in Satan's lies. Yet it happens, doesn't it? We see people who are prominent, useful, and active in the church fall. When we allow Satan to lure us away from God's ways for us, we will be temporarily blinded to what he is doing. We will question our blessings, and make excuses for why they are burdens. We will sit back, and watch marriages and families crumble, and shrug our shoulders. It won't look as ugly in the moment to the spiritually blind, but those with open eyes will look on with shock and horror at the awful price of sin. We know God won't stop pursuing a believer, and I'm so thankful for that. We can find hope in knowing that He will search for the missing sheep, speaking softly at times, and louder at others. And eventually, we pray that God will humble the blind. He is a God of restoration and healing, and He often does it when it looks completely impossible. Pray for the heart of those blinded by sin. Pray that God will open their eyes to the mess, chaos and ruin in the wake of Satan's destruction. And always- praying that through restoration, God will be glorified and honored.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 ESV
And give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:27 ESV
For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:3 ESV
For we do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for any who are spiritually blinded by Satan. Open their eyes to truth, and help them to clearly see the destruction of their choices. Guard me against this same blindness, and help my eyes to be fixed on You. Restore the lost and broken, and give healing to the hurt and set aside. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Thursday, January 3, 2019
Satan's Attack on my Marriage- Part One
We were "that couple".. the one serving the Lord, useful in our community, living out the truth of God's Word in our home, and faithful to our church testimony. We were interested in spreading the gospel and demonstrating the love of God to others. Satan doesn't go after the quiet christians that pose no threat to his evil schemes. He wants to take down those that are building up God's kingdom, and destroy their usefulness to the Lord. One specific area of attack is on a godly marriage, which is just what happened to us.
Is it worth living for the Lord if we are opening ourselves up to attack from Satan? Is it better to just lay low and keep quiet about the gospel and how God works in our lives? If we are silent and not living a testimony for Jesus, we lose eternal rewards. That is a pretty high price to pay for momentary "peace". We hold knowledge of the most powerful truth there is- Jesus died to set us free from sin! Being active in God's work will always be the best path for our lives, no matter where it seems to take us on our journey. We CAN arm ourselves against Satan's attacks, knowing they will come. It's when we don't properly arm ourselves that we will quickly find ourselves in trouble.
Apart from personal daily scripture reading and prayer, what else can we do to protect our marriages? Do you read and pray with your spouse? Do you spend time together alone? Do you make each other a priority? Do you take vacations, just the two of you? Do you build one another up, and encourage each other? Do you seek the spiritual good of your husband or wife? Do you make intimacy a priority? Do you talk about your day in detail? When a spouse is not # 2 (# 1 is the Lord, not yourself;) there will be problems. If you assign yourself as #1, you are really in trouble. This is what happened in my marriage, and the sting of it hurts!
We live in a world that has distorted marriage. Our world is selfish and sinful, and its effects are felt in God's definition of marriage. Marriage isn't a "unless I find something I want more" kind of thing, it was meant for the remainder of our lives. The Bible specifically says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Marriage is a life long commitment, and one we should take seriously. Satan loves to pose situations and people as opposition to what God has planned for us. He offers a woman or man that SEEMS like a much better fit. If we are not armed with God's Word, and living in constant communication with Him, we open ourselves up to his evil plans for us. God's plans for us are good, but Satan's are evil. Why would we ever choose what isn't God's best for us? The results of giving in to Satan's evil plans are so far reaching, and traumatic to all involved. The price for this sin is so very high! Be on alert, dear friends! The damage to falling is ugly and painful, and completely avoidable! Tomorrow, we will touch more on how Satan blinds even believers to sin. But for today, let's look at these scriptures for help in arming ourselves against Satan's battle for our marriages, and our usefulness to Christ.
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.1 Peter 5:8 ESV
In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; Ephesians 6:16 ESV
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. Romans 13:14 ESV
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Ephesians 6:13 ESV
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help us to guard ourselves, and arm ourselves against the attacks of Satan. We know they will come, and we want to be ready. Help us to have the courage to stand firm in our faith, and to stay committed to our marriages in a world that puts little value in what You ordained. Help us to recognize the voices that speak to us, and may Your voice always be louder than Satan's. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Is it worth living for the Lord if we are opening ourselves up to attack from Satan? Is it better to just lay low and keep quiet about the gospel and how God works in our lives? If we are silent and not living a testimony for Jesus, we lose eternal rewards. That is a pretty high price to pay for momentary "peace". We hold knowledge of the most powerful truth there is- Jesus died to set us free from sin! Being active in God's work will always be the best path for our lives, no matter where it seems to take us on our journey. We CAN arm ourselves against Satan's attacks, knowing they will come. It's when we don't properly arm ourselves that we will quickly find ourselves in trouble.
Apart from personal daily scripture reading and prayer, what else can we do to protect our marriages? Do you read and pray with your spouse? Do you spend time together alone? Do you make each other a priority? Do you take vacations, just the two of you? Do you build one another up, and encourage each other? Do you seek the spiritual good of your husband or wife? Do you make intimacy a priority? Do you talk about your day in detail? When a spouse is not # 2 (# 1 is the Lord, not yourself;) there will be problems. If you assign yourself as #1, you are really in trouble. This is what happened in my marriage, and the sting of it hurts!
We live in a world that has distorted marriage. Our world is selfish and sinful, and its effects are felt in God's definition of marriage. Marriage isn't a "unless I find something I want more" kind of thing, it was meant for the remainder of our lives. The Bible specifically says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Marriage is a life long commitment, and one we should take seriously. Satan loves to pose situations and people as opposition to what God has planned for us. He offers a woman or man that SEEMS like a much better fit. If we are not armed with God's Word, and living in constant communication with Him, we open ourselves up to his evil plans for us. God's plans for us are good, but Satan's are evil. Why would we ever choose what isn't God's best for us? The results of giving in to Satan's evil plans are so far reaching, and traumatic to all involved. The price for this sin is so very high! Be on alert, dear friends! The damage to falling is ugly and painful, and completely avoidable! Tomorrow, we will touch more on how Satan blinds even believers to sin. But for today, let's look at these scriptures for help in arming ourselves against Satan's battle for our marriages, and our usefulness to Christ.
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.1 Peter 5:8 ESV
In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; Ephesians 6:16 ESV
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. Romans 13:14 ESV
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Ephesians 6:13 ESV
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help us to guard ourselves, and arm ourselves against the attacks of Satan. We know they will come, and we want to be ready. Help us to have the courage to stand firm in our faith, and to stay committed to our marriages in a world that puts little value in what You ordained. Help us to recognize the voices that speak to us, and may Your voice always be louder than Satan's. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Fear Associated with Marital Insecurity
There is no sucker punch quite like hearing the words, "I'm leaving you." A thousand thoughts swirl around your brain and heart as you try to reconcile this statement with your reality. There are no words I expected to hear less than these, in my life journey. If you have been told these terrible three words, I wish I could reach through and give you a hard hug. One that says, "I understand." Everything that once felt certain, now hangs up in the air of uncertainty.
I have been a supported spouse for most of our marriage. Apart from the emotional wrecking ball of this statement, is the fear of what to do. I raised kids, kept house, fed my family homemade meals. I washed clothes, cleaned house, was the sole keeper of the family pets, and a myriad of other things. While I worked plenty hard, I didn't have an income to show for it. This work of being at the hub of a family is hard, and often under appreciated. It's been a gift, to be home and be present in my children's lives. But in this moment, I feel panicked. Where will I go? What will I do? What about health insurance? There are so many uncertainties that it begins to steal your peace, along with your breath. Fear is a weapon of Satan, and he is wielding it against me in full force.
The bottom line is this- I don't know the answers to what I will do, and where I will go and how I will provide for myself. Here is the thing though, we never know about tomorrow, but I have been given today. Only God knows my future, and how my story will go. And while this chapter of my journey is hard, God doesn't want me to live in fear. Fear is a good friend of worry, and I am sadly acquainted with both of them. So, how can I move out of the bondage of living in fear, and getting to a place of trust and hope? Do I need the answers to tomorrow, in order to do that?
The best place to look for answers to our fear and insecurities is in God's Word. The Bible has a lot to say about fear. Some of my favorites are these:
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 ESV
For God gave us a spirit NOT of fear but of power, and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from ALL my fears. Psalm 34:4 ESV
The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." Exodus 14:14 ESV
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34 ESV
The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6 ESV
Can you see what God is saying to us through His words? When we have Him, we can cast aside fear. He longs to take them from us- ALL of them. It doesn't mean that I don't need to come up with a solid game plan for my life, but it does mean that I don't have to be afraid. He will fight my battles for me; I don't need to do anything but be silent. If fear is stealing your joy and peace, join me in casting them at the feet of Jesus Christ. You may, like me, have to do it repeatedly, but as we give Him our fears, He will give us His peace. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know He will meet me there!
Dear Heavenly Father, I give my fears and worries and anxieties over to You. I confess they are a constant struggle, and I long to trust You in all things. We know You are here with us today, fighting our battles for us. We also know You are in our tomorrows, places we aren't sure about- but we are sure about You. You are my hope and my Savior, and so I look to You for wisdom and guidance in all that is ahead of me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
I have been a supported spouse for most of our marriage. Apart from the emotional wrecking ball of this statement, is the fear of what to do. I raised kids, kept house, fed my family homemade meals. I washed clothes, cleaned house, was the sole keeper of the family pets, and a myriad of other things. While I worked plenty hard, I didn't have an income to show for it. This work of being at the hub of a family is hard, and often under appreciated. It's been a gift, to be home and be present in my children's lives. But in this moment, I feel panicked. Where will I go? What will I do? What about health insurance? There are so many uncertainties that it begins to steal your peace, along with your breath. Fear is a weapon of Satan, and he is wielding it against me in full force.
The bottom line is this- I don't know the answers to what I will do, and where I will go and how I will provide for myself. Here is the thing though, we never know about tomorrow, but I have been given today. Only God knows my future, and how my story will go. And while this chapter of my journey is hard, God doesn't want me to live in fear. Fear is a good friend of worry, and I am sadly acquainted with both of them. So, how can I move out of the bondage of living in fear, and getting to a place of trust and hope? Do I need the answers to tomorrow, in order to do that?
The best place to look for answers to our fear and insecurities is in God's Word. The Bible has a lot to say about fear. Some of my favorites are these:
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 ESV
For God gave us a spirit NOT of fear but of power, and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from ALL my fears. Psalm 34:4 ESV
The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." Exodus 14:14 ESV
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34 ESV
The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6 ESV
Can you see what God is saying to us through His words? When we have Him, we can cast aside fear. He longs to take them from us- ALL of them. It doesn't mean that I don't need to come up with a solid game plan for my life, but it does mean that I don't have to be afraid. He will fight my battles for me; I don't need to do anything but be silent. If fear is stealing your joy and peace, join me in casting them at the feet of Jesus Christ. You may, like me, have to do it repeatedly, but as we give Him our fears, He will give us His peace. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know He will meet me there!
Dear Heavenly Father, I give my fears and worries and anxieties over to You. I confess they are a constant struggle, and I long to trust You in all things. We know You are here with us today, fighting our battles for us. We also know You are in our tomorrows, places we aren't sure about- but we are sure about You. You are my hope and my Savior, and so I look to You for wisdom and guidance in all that is ahead of me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
Dealing with Anger
I'm not one to have a temper. I'm not a screamer or a slammer of doors. I like harmony and I really dislike conflict. I am known for being easy-going and gentle. But in the face of infidelity, anger is real. It isn't fair. The feelings of being put to the side include rejection, yes, but also anger. Infidelity holds many of the same emotions as death. But I think the worst truth we hear loudly is how this was chosen. And this truth leads to anger.
It's understandable to be angry. The message we are getting from our spouse is beyond hurtful, and extremely selfish. How then, as christians, do we work through the feelings of anger without allowing it to fester and bring us down? Is being angry a sin? Does God understand our anger? Anger is an emotion, one that is part of the human emotional bank. God understands our feelings of anger, and was even angry Himself when He walked this earth. When Jesus entered the temple and saw it being used as a place to make money, He overthrew tables and displayed anger- RIGHTEOUS ANGER. He never sinned, we know that from scripture. His anger at the misuse of the temple was justified. Ephesians 4:26 says : Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, . We can see that anger isn't sinful, but what we do with it, and how we process it can lead to sin if we let it.
I confess, right here on this page, that I have sinned regarding the anger I feel over my marital situation. I have had some pretty bad thoughts, and while others may say that is understandable, God calls me to something harder, and ultimately better. Satan would love to use my anger to derail my usefulness to serving the Lord. I can let it be the emotion that gets the best of me, and jades my world with bitterness and self-pity. I can let it be the thought that pops in my head when I wake up, and go to bed at night. I could let this anger consume me and lead me down paths of unrighteousness. OR- I can choose to lay this ugly emotion down at the feet of Jesus, every single time it pops its ugly head up. I can acknowledge that I feel this way, and share those feelings with my Heavenly Father. I don't want to live bitter- I want to live a life of joy and peace. If I let anger be my controlling emotion, then joy will be stolen from me.
If you've walked this journey, or are currently walking it with me, you know the struggles associated with this powerful emotion. Satan longs to use anger to steal our peace. When we arm ourselves with God's Word, and His promises to us, we are better equipped to deal properly with anger, and protect ourselves from the havoc it can cause. What we are experiencing is terrible, and it can bring out the worst in us. We have had much taken from us, and anger will take even more- it will steal joy, contentment, and peace. Make some healthy emotional decisions that will help you process these feelings, and find a trusted confidant to share them with. And as always, take it before our Father, and confess and leave it there.
For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:20 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31 ESV
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 103:8 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me righteously work through my feelings of anger. Don't allow Satan to use it to derail me from Your good plans for me. I confess it is an emotion I am struggling with, and I pray that I will acknowledge it and lay it at Your feet. Restore to me the joy and peace You long for me to experience. Thank You for Your grace and mercy and love towards me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
It's understandable to be angry. The message we are getting from our spouse is beyond hurtful, and extremely selfish. How then, as christians, do we work through the feelings of anger without allowing it to fester and bring us down? Is being angry a sin? Does God understand our anger? Anger is an emotion, one that is part of the human emotional bank. God understands our feelings of anger, and was even angry Himself when He walked this earth. When Jesus entered the temple and saw it being used as a place to make money, He overthrew tables and displayed anger- RIGHTEOUS ANGER. He never sinned, we know that from scripture. His anger at the misuse of the temple was justified. Ephesians 4:26 says : Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, . We can see that anger isn't sinful, but what we do with it, and how we process it can lead to sin if we let it.
I confess, right here on this page, that I have sinned regarding the anger I feel over my marital situation. I have had some pretty bad thoughts, and while others may say that is understandable, God calls me to something harder, and ultimately better. Satan would love to use my anger to derail my usefulness to serving the Lord. I can let it be the emotion that gets the best of me, and jades my world with bitterness and self-pity. I can let it be the thought that pops in my head when I wake up, and go to bed at night. I could let this anger consume me and lead me down paths of unrighteousness. OR- I can choose to lay this ugly emotion down at the feet of Jesus, every single time it pops its ugly head up. I can acknowledge that I feel this way, and share those feelings with my Heavenly Father. I don't want to live bitter- I want to live a life of joy and peace. If I let anger be my controlling emotion, then joy will be stolen from me.
If you've walked this journey, or are currently walking it with me, you know the struggles associated with this powerful emotion. Satan longs to use anger to steal our peace. When we arm ourselves with God's Word, and His promises to us, we are better equipped to deal properly with anger, and protect ourselves from the havoc it can cause. What we are experiencing is terrible, and it can bring out the worst in us. We have had much taken from us, and anger will take even more- it will steal joy, contentment, and peace. Make some healthy emotional decisions that will help you process these feelings, and find a trusted confidant to share them with. And as always, take it before our Father, and confess and leave it there.
For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:20 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31 ESV
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 103:8 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me righteously work through my feelings of anger. Don't allow Satan to use it to derail me from Your good plans for me. I confess it is an emotion I am struggling with, and I pray that I will acknowledge it and lay it at Your feet. Restore to me the joy and peace You long for me to experience. Thank You for Your grace and mercy and love towards me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
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