My Mysterious God

     Why do bad things happen, and what is my response when they do? If I'm honest, my first response is often an angry cry towards God asking why this was allowed in my life. I doubt my ability to handle it, and I doubt that God really knew me well enough in giving me something this large to manage. I am most comfortable with things I can know for certain, but my God is a God of mystery. His Word tells us that He moves in ways that are mysterious to us—too big for me to understand. This begins the seesaw of my faith—my desire to control my circumstances, and His will for me to trust what He's doing.
     So many days I've wished for God to come down in bodily form and sit with me a while. I have so many questions, and unless He speaks the answers to me in person, I often feel unsure and anxious. In the middle of a hard situation, I'd love to have Him meet me for coffee and tell me specifically what will happen, and what I should do. And yet if He did, I would never develop my faith—a faith He longs for me to have. 
     The truth is, sometimes I'm not ready for the answer. God is going to use experiences, people, His Word and circumstances to bring me to the point of acceptance of what will be. Had God told me that one day my husband would have an affair and leave me for over a year, I would not have been able to move forward for fear and heartache. Instead, He worked mysteriously in my life giving me circumstances to better prepare me for the news I would one day receive. The delay of immediate answers if often gracious, and preparing me for things I can't yet see or understand.
     What are you up against that you wish you had answers for? We all have things that we face that leave us feeling anxious and uncertain. Some of these are bigger than others and cause us serious distress and anxiety. We may not understand why God is allowing us to face these things, but we know He is good. In the middle of my darkest moment He was there—I felt Him and knew He was present, even if He didn't reveal what I really wanted to know right away. Because God is interested in the spiritual realm of our circumstances the most, we often feel slighted in the physical and emotional issues facing us. This is due to our worldly vision in contrast to His spiritual vision. He sees what we can't and He knows how each life event will fit His greater plan for us. 
     While God's ways are mysterious, we shouldn't allow that mystery to diminish our faith. If we even know a little about Him, we can trust that what we are experiencing is not without purpose. I don't have to know all the answers because He does. I don't have to feel afraid, because He walks through any storm with me. Some days, this is easier said than done and I still wish for a face-to-face visit with my heavenly Father. The future is unknown to me, but I serve a God that holds it all in His hands and knows exactly what He's doing. Somedays, even when my heart screams for answers, that's all I really need to know.

Oh, the depths and the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable are his ways! Romans 11:33 (ESV)
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all the mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:2 (ESV)
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 (ESV)
"Can you find out the deep things of God? Can you find out the limit of the Almighty? Job 11:7 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we can feel afraid and insecure when we face certain trials. We long for answers and we long for brighter days, but we can trust that You are with us in those broken places and have a good plan for us. We cannot understand Your ways—they are mysterious to us. But we can see Your character in Your Word, and we can trust You and place our faith in You. Help us to believe even when it's hard, that You love us and are working in ways too big for us to understand. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!