Why do bad things happen, and what is my response when they do? If I'm honest, my first response is often an angry cry towards God asking why this was allowed in my life. I doubt my ability to handle it, and I doubt that God really knew me well enough in giving me something this large to manage. I am most comfortable with things I can know for certain, but my God is a God of mystery. His Word tells us that He moves in ways that are mysterious to us—too big for me to understand. This begins the seesaw of my faith—my desire to control my circumstances, and His will for me to trust what He's doing.
So many days I've wished for God to come down in bodily form and sit with me a while. I have so many questions, and unless He speaks the answers to me in person, I often feel unsure and anxious. In the middle of a hard situation, I'd love to have Him meet me for coffee and tell me specifically what will happen, and what I should do. And yet if He did, I would never develop my faith—a faith He longs for me to have.
The truth is, sometimes I'm not ready for the answer. God is going to use experiences, people, His Word and circumstances to bring me to the point of acceptance of what will be. Had God told me that one day my husband would have an affair and leave me for over a year, I would not have been able to move forward for fear and heartache. Instead, He worked mysteriously in my life giving me circumstances to better prepare me for the news I would one day receive. The delay of immediate answers if often gracious, and preparing me for things I can't yet see or understand.
What are you up against that you wish you had answers for? We all have things that we face that leave us feeling anxious and uncertain. Some of these are bigger than others and cause us serious distress and anxiety. We may not understand why God is allowing us to face these things, but we know He is good. In the middle of my darkest moment He was there—I felt Him and knew He was present, even if He didn't reveal what I really wanted to know right away. Because God is interested in the spiritual realm of our circumstances the most, we often feel slighted in the physical and emotional issues facing us. This is due to our worldly vision in contrast to His spiritual vision. He sees what we can't and He knows how each life event will fit His greater plan for us.
While God's ways are mysterious, we shouldn't allow that mystery to diminish our faith. If we even know a little about Him, we can trust that what we are experiencing is not without purpose. I don't have to know all the answers because He does. I don't have to feel afraid, because He walks through any storm with me. Some days, this is easier said than done and I still wish for a face-to-face visit with my heavenly Father. The future is unknown to me, but I serve a God that holds it all in His hands and knows exactly what He's doing. Somedays, even when my heart screams for answers, that's all I really need to know.
Oh, the depths and the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable are his ways! Romans 11:33 (ESV)
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all the mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:2 (ESV)
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 (ESV)
"Can you find out the deep things of God? Can you find out the limit of the Almighty? Job 11:7 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, we can feel afraid and insecure when we face certain trials. We long for answers and we long for brighter days, but we can trust that You are with us in those broken places and have a good plan for us. We cannot understand Your ways—they are mysterious to us. But we can see Your character in Your Word, and we can trust You and place our faith in You. Help us to believe even when it's hard, that You love us and are working in ways too big for us to understand. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!
I'm not a fan of heights! I've never been interested in scaling tall mountains, and people that do rock climbing?- well, I think they are insane. I hate flying in airplanes, and only do it out of necessity. I can't imagine skydiving when merely looking out the window makes me feel slightly panicked, and definitely vulnerable. When we visited NYC, we decided to take the elevator to the top of Rockefeller Center. As beautiful as the view was, I felt relieved to be safely on the ground floor again. If I'm not on the water, I like my feet on solid ground- low ground. But if I look at my life as a climb, I'm way up in the clouds.
Looking at life as a climb gives us a good mental picture of where we are, but it also gives us an awesome visual of how far we have come. For each moment in each day, we take a step higher- not able to see what is ahead. Some days, I wasn't sure I could keep climbing and stumbled along the journey. I felt tired and uncertain. Miscarriage and infidelity seemed insurmountable. What was in front of me seemed too painful to continue forward, but with the help of the Leader of my Path, I desperately grabbed His hand and followed. I know this to be absolutely true: Jesus gives us strength for the climb.
Take a moment to think of your own mountain. Look behind you. What do you see? What have you come through that seemed impossible? The older I get, more of my mountain is behind me and a shorter journey lies ahead. It can cause feelings of fear and doubt looking ahead, not knowing what we will encounter in our tomorrows. Because we can't see it, it can unsettle us. But what I am being taught through the harder times, is that I don't have to know what's ahead. The reality is that God knows, and this wonderful truth relieves me from carrying the burden of uncertainty. Whatever lies ahead, I know He will meet me there.
Some of life's knocks are hard. They leave us fearful, angry, jaded and even bitter. As Christians, we weren't promised an easy climb. A world touched by sin has left it broken. We can't escape painful experiences, and honestly, if we could, we would be shallow, with little evidence to show Who we belong to. No, we don't know what is ahead, but there isn't any reason for fear when we are being led by our Heavenly Father. So grab a hold of His hand, and allow Him to lead you higher, knowing He is fully capable of handling the ruts along the way. Going sideways or refusing to walk forward will never allow us to get to our mountaintop peak. The way can be hard, but the view at the top is breathtaking, and I don't want to miss it!
And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it." when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Isaiah 30:21 ESV
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105 ESV
The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand. Psalm 37:23-24 ESV
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for faithfully guiding me along life's journey. I can't see what is ahead, but I look in awe behind me. Lord, You've led me through many difficult bends in the road, but I kept moving forward because You gave me the strength to take another step. Whatever is ahead, may I look to You for help and direction. In Your precious name I pray, Amen!
