Looking Ahead and Standing Guard

It's a New Year—2022! It seems hard to believe we are where we are, and that we've come through some really difficult years and face a new one with all its challenges ahead of us. While we've closed out 2021, we still have some of the same issues staring us in the face as we begin 2022. And yet among all of the challenges, we still serve the same Faithful God. But as we look ahead, it's great to take stock of where we are today, where we've been, and how we can do better tomorrow.  

There's much to be said about being committed and faithful to fulfilling our spiritual purpose, and yet Satan is no less interested today in manipulating our spiritual demise. The fact is, he's very good at what he does, and if we don't guard ourselves, we will fall spiritually. When we fall, every other area of our life will suffer. Our families will suffer, our marriage will suffer, our relationships will suffer and we will not be an employee or employer that exemplifies integrity or godliness. In no way is it true that as believers, we are promised an easy ride—that's called prosperity gospel, and is unscriptural at its core. But when we fail to guard ourselves and give in to Satan's temptations when life gets tough, it will dismantle us spiritually—affecting us and those we love. 

Perhaps one of the most powerful sermons I recently heard spoke of how it's a good practice to walk yourself mentally through a fall. Imagine yourself sitting down those you love and respect the most, confessing your failure to them—eye to eye, one by one. Imagine their response as they hear news that will disappoint them or break their hearts—and how it will break yours to see the pain caused by bad choices. It's an exercise that's sobering and frightening and helps us visualize the damage that comes from bad choices. And here's the honest truth—it's a possibility for every single one of us no matter our age or how long we've walked with Christ so we must be on guard. 

As we embark on a new year, it's a good time to reflect on our priorities. Where is the biggest chunk of my time spent? Who am I focused on the most? Am I being obedient to God's call on my life, and living to serve and please Him? Somedays, the answer may look much better than the next. And somedays, I feel pricked in my heart that its primary focus isn't first on Jesus. We don't set out to rearrange our priorities, it happens little by little and day by day in the choices we make. If we are too busy, we often cut out the most vital part of what we need spiritually—unhurried time with our Father in heaven. 

It's true that we've maneuvered through some pretty challenging years—years we couldn't have even begun to imagine. We've faced physical challenges, social challenges, emotional challenges and when you group all of those together, it can spill over into our spiritual health, crippling us and making us vulnerable to Satan's attacks against us. But I think one of the most precious truths we can hold on to is this: Jesus is the same—He never changes no matter what our circumstances may look like today. He's the same compassionate, grace-filled, loving Savior He was yesterday, last year, and even 1,000 years ago. Whatever we face this year, He's with us and He's for us.

As I think of 2022, I want to see my priorities balance out a little more than they've looked like previously. I want to stop living as a believer on auto pilot, going through the motions at times yet lacking spiritual fervor. I want to lay out further groundwork to protect my marriage, my family, my local church and the relationships I enjoy with family and friends. I want to acknowledge the propensity each day for slow steps in the wrong direction, and make corrections that will keep me on a path that pleases Christ. And should I live long enough to close out 2022, I pray that I'll see growth, development, enhanced relationships and harmony and joy in my home as I look back on the year. I pray I'll be committed to continually loving and better serving my husband, my family, my church family and most of all Jesus. And then I also pray that I'll strive for even more the following year so that each year, little by little, I'm starting to look a lot more like Him and a lot less like me. 

The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps (Proverbs 16:9, ESV).

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change (James 1:17, ESV).

Exercising Faith-What Does it Mean?

 Circuit training—a phrase that brings up bad memories from the past. With multiple weight machines set up in close proximity, you basically run from one to the next, and on and on it goes for about 45 minutes or so. The first few sets were typically done quite easily, as the weight is lighter than regular lifting, but as you worked through each machine and your heart rate steadily punched upward, I would begin questioning what in the world had ever prompted me to begin in the first place. This was exercise not intended for the faint of heart—but for the dedicated athlete.

Now Zumba—that's my kind of workout, but even with Zumba I struggled initially to learn the dance steps and to build up my stamina and confidence. No proper form of exercise comes without a learning curve and a period of adjustment—physical and mental, but with perseverance, you make strides as you keep at it. And when you think about it, faith is no different. I wasn't born trusting God and automatically knowing how to live as a transformed believer of Jesus—it was through many small experiences over time that I learned those things and continue to do so.

Building, or exercising our faith requires spiritual muscle development. It won't just happen unless you put in effort. You will never accidentally fall into being a person of great faith. And so it takes deliberate practice, just like any other form of exercise. Many times, I am guilty of praying for a greater faith, then being puzzled and frustrated with trial after trial. If you want to be a person of great faith, trials aren't optional. That teenager that's giving you a hard time? Faith building. That church leader that seems to make rules based on personal preference causing you irritation? Faith building. A spouse who runs to another's arms, devastating your heart? Faith building. Bills that are out of sync with your income? Faith building.

When you think of people in Scripture known for their faith, you'll see they were people who faced pretty difficult situations. Abraham was asked to offer his son. Esther came before the king unannounced with a desire to save her people—an action that could easily cost her life. Joshua instructed the people to march around the walls of Jericho, believing that God would spare them from harm and give the city into their hands. David picked up a small rock and faced a large giant who wanted to kill him. Moses led his people into the middle of the sea, believing God would hold back the waters from destroying them. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to worship an idol and walked inside a fiery furnace, not knowing if they would be delivered or not. 

All of these people are known for their faith—yet each one faced their own trials with confidence in God. It's true that trials stink. I know I don't like them and I bet you don't either. But trials are necessary if we want to truly grow in our faith and learn to trust our Heavenly Father. Without them, we would not learn to rely on His strength to see us through, and we would not grow in our faith. 

What are you facing today that you are wrestling against? Are you feeling bitter or angry that God allowed this situation in your life? Honestly, there are those moments we find ourselves angry with God—and yet He understands our emotions and feels compassion for us. But as a loving Father, He wants more for us than an easy life that won't encourage our spiritual growth and build our faith. When I think of people I have known who have passed away, the ones with the most powerful legacy are those who faced challenges and continued to walk in faith. So when we face things we wish we weren't called to face, may we see how God is exercising our faith by allowing things that have a greater purpose than the pain we are experiencing in that season. Our God is good and He deeply loves us. Even when our life gets hard and our hearts are hurting. May it be said of us when we take our last breath, "their faith is what I remember and appreciate the most". 

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him (Hebrews 11:6, ESV).

That your faith may not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God (1 Corinthians 2:5, ESV).

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith (1 John 5:4, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we want to be people known for our faith, and yet our hearts often struggle with trials. Help us in those hard seasons to trust You and believe that You will bring good from whatever we face. We know that faith building isn't easy and requires trials and so we ask that when we face them, we would learn to wholly lean on You. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Manipulation Game

 It starts as very young children—innocently enough initially until they figure out they own power over a caretaker. It's different than a new baby crying to signal hunger or discomfort, it's an action backed with intention. A temper tantrum is a clear sign of early stage manipulation—I'll scream and carry on until I get on your nerves so much that you'll give me what I want. As soon as you give them what they wanted to make the screaming stop, they think to themselves, "hey, that works!" And so it begins.

This behavior often follows us into our growing up years. We say things to manipulate a response: "If you really loved me, you wouldn't ground me for 3 weeks." The parents talk among themselves and reduce the punishment. They have in short, been manipulated. Why do we fall for this? Because our love is short-sighted and we don't enjoy punishing the people we love. By short-sighting our relationships though, we are failing to raise children who realize that A) sin has consequences, and B) manipulating us is not an option.

What is manipulation? It is defined as an action "to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner." (www.dictionary.com). The older we get, the better we often become at being manipulators. We learn what works with certain people and we skillfully use words or actions to influence them to do what we want them to do. This is a very damaging way to manage our relationships, and often leads to the parting of ways. If we manipulate our children, they are watching us and learning from our own behavior, thus, pouring this same manipulation into their own familial relationships. So, what do we do about it, and is there any hope to re-train ourselves to find value in differing opinions, behaviors and decisions other than what we prefer?

Manipulation is said by behavioral experts to be rooted in fear and insecurity. What we know from Scripture is that fear is not from God. ("For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline- 2 Timothy 1:7, NLT.") We also read in the Bible that there is no fear in love ("There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love- 1 John 4:18, NIV.) So we can surmise that fear is from Satan, and fear has no place in love. This poses a problem for allowing manipulation into our relationships as believers, and yet it is often prevalent in how we handle our kids, co-workers, and especially our spouse. 

Manipulation is a form of controlling others. When we practice controlling behavior, we are removing God from the equation. We may not be aware that we are essentially doing that, but isn't God the One who should be in control? Now here is another uncomfortable bit of truth. I've been a manipulator and I've been manipulated—and you have also played on both sides of the field. Some have a bigger struggle with it than others, but as believers, it's a behavior we need to eliminate from our lives. The only way we can even begin to tackle it is to understand that we have this problem and sincerely desire change. When we get to this point, only then is there hope for God to move in and work to change our hearts. When our hearts are changed, what flows from our words and our actions will also change as those are directly impacted by the state of our spiritual hearts.

If you recognize this damaging behavior in your own life, my prayer today is that you would acknowledge it, then learn to take it to the feet of Jesus. He longs to banish our fears and insecurities, and He promises to give us strength and help for anything we face. Depending on the severity and the root cause of our manipulative behaviors, we may find ourselves in need of counseling from a professional. But most of us can find what we need in Christ to kick this bad habit to the curb. May we allow God to purge us from using skillful influence to get what we want from the ones we love, because at the very core of it all, we are damaging our relationships. God, help us today to see ourselves with open eyes and open hearts, and be willing to allow You to work in us for our spiritual and relational good. 

Examples of Manipulative Behavior: (a very short list)

*Compliments before giving your parents your report card

*Withholding sex from your spouse over an argument

*Guilting your child to stay home because you're lonely

*Complimenting a co-worker so they do something that should be       your job to do

*Putting someone down to elevate yourself

*Pouting because your guy chose to play basketball instead of shopping   with you

*Crying to get out of a speeding ticket

*Using a loud, angry voice to intimidate

*Preaching a sermon that was tailored to jab at one person in the   congregation

*Misrepresenting a product to make a sale

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive us for this sinful, damaging behavioral pattern we often portray in our lives. Purge us from manipulation and help us to see how damaging it is to our relationships. Lord, may we remember that You are in control, and it is best left that way. In Your precious name we pray, Amen!

A Special Gift

It was Christmas morning, and the girl's loving father had really gone all out for her. With a real cost to his strict budget, he had splurged and had the most beautiful wooden rocking horse made for his daughter. With pinks and purples and touches of gold, it was a real work of art. It was the very best he could do for her, and he couldn't wait for Christmas morning. His wife had taken great care to wrap it in the prettiest paper she could find—tiny little unicorns wearing Santa hats. They got up early, anticipating her reaction, and waited on her to come out for her big Christmas surprise.

The little girl could hardly sleep. She hoped and wished with all of her being that she would get her dream pony. She had whispered her wish while sitting on Santa's lap, and now the moment had come. She ran from her room to look under the tree. Her parents were up waiting for her, and her eyes sparkled with excitement. Her parents sat waiting for her to pull open the paper and ribbon, their hearts so happy to sacrifice what they could almost not afford, to make their little girl smile. But as she tore open the paper and wrapping to see the little wooden horse, her eyes filled with tears and she tossed aside the gift with disappointment and sadness. This was no pony—it was not what she asked for. The parents were so sad as they realized their best gift for her was not what she wanted—the little girl was simply not satisfied.

If you are like me, you may think this little one needs a huge attitude adjustment, and you would be correct in your way of thinking. But if you look a little closer, you may see yourselves in her. I know I do. Because my Heavenly Father has given me spiritual gifts, and even though He generously gave them, I am often guilty of tossing them aside and not using them. Do you think our Father gave us gifts He didn't intend for us to use? How pointless that would be, and He does nothing without a clear purpose. 

Some of you may wonder what your spiritual gifts are, and if that's you, there are several great passages of scripture to refer to. If you really want to discover them through His Word, read 1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12 and Ephesians 4. While some may have more gifts than others, everyone who comes to know Christ as their Savior has been given at least one. Whether it's mercy, serving, leadership, discernment, giving, or one of the many others, there are various gifts He gives us—special to each one of us. It may also be helpful to ask someone else what they believe your gift is. Oftentimes, if it's being used, it's also being noticed by others.

Can you imagine, though, opening the gifts He gives us in the same manner this little girl opened her rocking horse? To be completely honest though, we often are like her. He has taken great care to generously give us our gift(s), and we often dismiss them as being unimportant or undesirable. We wanted something else—something we believed to be better for us. Do you think our Heavenly Father is also disappointed and hurt by our lack of care for our spiritual gifts, just like the Dad from our illustration? I would imagine it does disappoint Him and shows our lack of love and care for what He has given to us.

The flip side is that we also miss out when we pass over our spiritual gifts. There are certain gifts that God has uniquely given to me, and when I use them, they bring me purpose and joy. If I've been given the gift of hospitality and then stop inviting people over, I'm not exercising my gift, and ignoring the work God has for me to do through my spiritual gift. I may say I would prefer the gift of leadership, and when I try to force my way into leading, it won't be done with the same purpose or ability, because it isn't meant for me. 

What a waste it would be if this little girl never played with her beautiful wooden horse. The purpose of the horse—her enjoyment, would be lost if she didn't actually accept her gift and use it. Our gifts have been given with intentionality. There is a purpose behind each one and our usefulness in kingdom work is directly impacted by our willingness to know our gifts, and to use them to serve. Let's be mindful of exercising the gifts our loving God has given us—understanding that it will be a blessing to others, and will in turn, bring joy to our Heavenly Father as we serve Him.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace (1 Peter 4:10, ESV):

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:4, ESV);

All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills (1 Corinthians 12:11, ESV).

Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, (1 Corinthians 14:1a, ESV)...

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for giving us gifts—gifts we should be using to fulfill our purpose in the body of Christ. Help us to identify them, and then be willing to exercise these gifts and not forget the work You've fitted us for. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Are You a Baby?

     Can you imagine a world run by babies and toddlers? A world full of immaturity and pureed food? A world full of temper tantrums and shallow relationships? There would be no solid foundation or structure, and it would be a very frustrating place to live. Sadly, this is a reality of christianity today-a world where most who have legitimately come to Christ, have no real development or spiritual interest or growth. In fact, 8 out of 10 christians never go on to live a life for Jesus, and never have the discipline to develop past the baby stage of belief. A surrendered life doesn't look like that-it's a life that is marked by obedience and character that mirrors the character of Christ.

     If we want to grow up in our faith, we will need to surrender our bodies. We read in Romans chapter 12 that we are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice-holy and acceptable to God. We are further urged to resist conforming to the world, but to be transformed by the truth found in God's Word (see Romans 12:1-2). A surrendered life will be noticed and will usher us into the growing up stages of our spirituality. I'd like to discuss a few body parts we can surrender in order to grow in our faith.

     One part of the body that often leads us to sin is our eyes. One of my favorite scriptures regarding the eyes is found in Psalm 119:37. It says, "turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways." How many of us have gotten distracted from our christian journey by pornography, lust, and materialism? We see things we want, and we view things we shouldn't, and they lead us to spiritual ruin and heartache. When we fail to surrender our eyes, we open them to a world of trouble. 

     Feet that aren't surrendered will take us places we have no business going. These feet may lead us into sex outside of marriage, strip clubs, relationships that are unhealthy, and paths that are not led by the Spirit. Proverbs 4:26 tells us to "ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure." Where we go tells a lot about us, and when we fail to surrender our footpath, we will walk in ways that dishonor our Father and stunt our spiritual growth. 

     Failing to surrender our hands have gotten us in trouble more times than we care to admit. My earliest memories as a new christian at the age of 11, still involve fist fights with my siblings. Fighting, hurting others, and touching people we shouldn't touch are a few examples of failing to surrender our hands. Hands were never meant to hurt; but to work, soothe and give. 1 Timothy 5:22 reminds us "not to be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor take part in the sins of others; keep ourselves pure." Failing to surrender our hands will lead to hurt and broken relationships.

     The final body part we often fail to surrender is our mouth. Profanity, dirty jokes, insults, boasting, sarcasm, lies and gossip are all ways our mouth will show a life that is not surrendered. Sadly, this is often the reality for many of us and has no place in the life of a believer. A mouth that isn't reigned in by the Spirit will show the real health of our spiritual age. In Romans 3 we read that our "throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive." We should not be marked as one who lies and uses profanity, but rather as one who speaks truth and speaks kindly to others. Surrendering our mouths is crucial if we ever want to mature spiritually. 

     It's sad to think of how many fail to grow beyond their conversion. We allow schedules, selfishness, and laziness to stand in the way of our spiritual development. It's easier to continue on the way we lived before, but when we do that, we dishonor the name of the One we claim to serve. Furthermore, we are missing out on being an active part of His kingdom work on earth, and the eternal rewards associated with being a willing follower of Jesus. We look for shortcuts in most areas of our lives, but when it comes to growing in Christ, we must be willing to surrender our own will and seek to follow the path God has for us. 

     When our life is over and our friends and family gather to speak about who we were, what will they say? Will we be known by our faith, and will others easily identify us as Christians? Will people say we spoke kindly of others and lived a life of integrity and honor? Will the way we loved others stand out? Will our children say we had a heart for Jesus, and lived in such a way that our decisions, words and actions reflected His heart? Or will we be like the 80% who never really grew in our faith and left behind a legacy that didn't mirror the life of Jesus? It's sobering to think of the day we will stand before Him and give an answer for how we lived and loved. And while I've failed often, I pray that I will daily surrender my will to His. I pray that I'll realize the value in pouring myself into His Word, and how powerful it is in transforming me. And I pray that when I'm gone, the talk around the room will be less about me and more about Him-because I can tell you, He is worth the surrender.

And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it (Luke 9:23-24, ESV). 

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to be disciplined enough to surrender our bodies and our lives to Your way for us. We often find ourselves in a place that is stagnant and we are not growing spiritually. Help us to lay aside our own ways for Yours. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     

Remove the Weights Holding You Down

     I remember the hot asphalt and my skinny 8-year old unshaved legs like it was yesterday. I was hunched over the track, ready for the race. I didn't want to be here-in fact, I wouldn't have been without the stern request of the P.E. teacher. A row of grade school girls beside me, we waited for the sound of the starting gun, signaling the start of the race. I didn't really sweat at that age, but I do remember my heart pounding-and if I could've done it, I would have plugged my ears. As soon as I heard the blast of the gun, I ran for all I was worth, winning a blue ribbon for our team on track-and-field day. A coach approached me, inquiring about my willingness to join the elementary track team (it was a thing back then, in Canada). And I surprised him by quickly turning him down. Why? My fear of the starting gun held me back from ever wanting to run a race again. 
     Fear. It's one of the weights that lay across the opportunities that life, and even God, have spread before me. Fear is just one of the weights that challenge me and hold me back from doing things I would otherwise excel in. While being a runner never really was one of my life goals, I've walked away from plenty of others, simply because I allowed one factor or another to keep me from accomplishing them. Owning my own bakery, or landscaping/produce shop are dreams that are hindered by financial obligations and risk. I feel sure of my ability to succeed in either dream, yet certain aspects of both have kept me from seriously pursuing them. If I never own my own bakery or landscaping supply shop, it really won't matter once I finish my race here in life. But spiritual hindrances have an eternal cost.
     Maybe you want to be a missionary one day, but you're afraid to leave your homeland and all that's familiar. Maybe you want to write a daily devotional, but find the process too daunting. Maybe you want to read the whole Bible through, studying it carefully, book by book, but can't seem to find the time. Maybe God has placed in your heart, a burden to befriend a troubled church member, but you push away the whispers of His Spirit, longing to spend your time doing something easier. These spiritual goals or longings are good, and without proper focus, we will allow "weights" to hold us back from following through. Our faith journey is like a race-a starting point and the finish line is our goal, yet many things along the way will steer us off course. 
     The Apostle Paul had many weights that could have hindered his faith journey. He had a past that was guilty of shedding innocent blood of christian martyrs. He may have seen the stoning of Stephen night after night as he lay down to sleep, sorry for his part in it all. He could've allowed regret to keep him stuck, but he didn't. When I think of Paul, I am always so impressed with his spiritual focus-refusing to allow those weights to be an excuse to keep him stuck. He strived. He pushed aside the things that could hinder him, and allowed himself to wholly serve the Lord. Because of this, he did many great things for God's kingdom-maybe more than most others ever will achieve. But if I were to apply this same spiritual focus in my own life, how much more could I accomplish for God? 
      Friends, let's not continue to allow our past, or any other excuse to hold us back from finishing our faith journey well. When all is said and done, I won't want to feel regret for the many opportunities I turned my back on for one reason or another. I want to, instead, push aside these weights that are holding me back from what God wants me to do. Maybe you'll have to walk away from people who are standing in your way. Maybe you'll have to turn down obligations in order to make room for God. Whatever is holding you back-have the courage to remove them so that you may one day hear some of the best words ever: "well done, My good and faithful servant!"  

You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth (Galatians 5:7, ESV)?
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14, ESV).
I can do all things through him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13, ESV).
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith (2 Timothy 4:7, ESV).

Dear heavenly Father, allow me to clearly see the weights that are holding me back from my spiritual potential, and then the courage to remove them. In Your name, I pray, Amen!

My Mysterious God

     Why do bad things happen, and what is my response when they do? If I'm honest, my first response is often an angry cry towards God asking why this was allowed in my life. I doubt my ability to handle it, and I doubt that God really knew me well enough in giving me something this large to manage. I am most comfortable with things I can know for certain, but my God is a God of mystery. His Word tells us that He moves in ways that are mysterious to us—too big for me to understand. This begins the seesaw of my faith—my desire to control my circumstances, and His will for me to trust what He's doing.
     So many days I've wished for God to come down in bodily form and sit with me a while. I have so many questions, and unless He speaks the answers to me in person, I often feel unsure and anxious. In the middle of a hard situation, I'd love to have Him meet me for coffee and tell me specifically what will happen, and what I should do. And yet if He did, I would never develop my faith—a faith He longs for me to have. 
     The truth is, sometimes I'm not ready for the answer. God is going to use experiences, people, His Word and circumstances to bring me to the point of acceptance of what will be. Had God told me that one day my husband would have an affair and leave me for over a year, I would not have been able to move forward for fear and heartache. Instead, He worked mysteriously in my life giving me circumstances to better prepare me for the news I would one day receive. The delay of immediate answers if often gracious, and preparing me for things I can't yet see or understand.
     What are you up against that you wish you had answers for? We all have things that we face that leave us feeling anxious and uncertain. Some of these are bigger than others and cause us serious distress and anxiety. We may not understand why God is allowing us to face these things, but we know He is good. In the middle of my darkest moment He was there—I felt Him and knew He was present, even if He didn't reveal what I really wanted to know right away. Because God is interested in the spiritual realm of our circumstances the most, we often feel slighted in the physical and emotional issues facing us. This is due to our worldly vision in contrast to His spiritual vision. He sees what we can't and He knows how each life event will fit His greater plan for us. 
     While God's ways are mysterious, we shouldn't allow that mystery to diminish our faith. If we even know a little about Him, we can trust that what we are experiencing is not without purpose. I don't have to know all the answers because He does. I don't have to feel afraid, because He walks through any storm with me. Some days, this is easier said than done and I still wish for a face-to-face visit with my heavenly Father. The future is unknown to me, but I serve a God that holds it all in His hands and knows exactly what He's doing. Somedays, even when my heart screams for answers, that's all I really need to know.

Oh, the depths and the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable are his ways! Romans 11:33 (ESV)
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all the mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:2 (ESV)
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 (ESV)
"Can you find out the deep things of God? Can you find out the limit of the Almighty? Job 11:7 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we can feel afraid and insecure when we face certain trials. We long for answers and we long for brighter days, but we can trust that You are with us in those broken places and have a good plan for us. We cannot understand Your ways—they are mysterious to us. But we can see Your character in Your Word, and we can trust You and place our faith in You. Help us to believe even when it's hard, that You love us and are working in ways too big for us to understand. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

     

See Them with Different Eyes

     You hear the conversation from the other room, and your whole world spins out of control. Can it be true? Doesn't cancer happen to other people and their families? We never thought it would part of our journey- not now! Or the phone rings, and you hear words you hoped you would never hear- "your husband had a heart attack, and has been taken by ambulance to the local emergency department. Please come right away." Or your son is in a serious battle with depression, and you are desperate to get him help! These are moments that forever change our lives, and we feel compassion and a strong desire to do anything possible for them. We long to alleviate their pain and assist them in their health crisis. 
     When health issues assault a loved one, we work hard to make life comfortable for them. We drive them to appointments, we lighten their work load, we buy them gifts, and offer them unlimited support. We shave our heads so they aren't bald alone, we encourage them to seek counseling, or try eating the same heart healthy diet. We cry with them, listen to them, and try our best to understand, on some level, the journey they are on. Why do we do it? Because we love them, and their pain is personal to us. Our compassion capacity is "all in" for them, and we make sure they know it.
     Why then, do we have such a hard time feeling compassion when the sickness isn't physical?. What about when the sickness is spiritual in nature? Why do we so easily walk away, offering little to those we claim to love? When we are able to see infidelity, among other spiritual struggles, as a real battle against our sinful flesh, it transforms how we see our spouse. Yes- what they have done has caused a great deal of pain, but it often wasn't intentional, but rather the result of the "slow fade" Casting Crowns sings about. 
     Many have asked, through our own journey through infidelity, how I felt about my husband during those difficult months and years. Choosing to feel bitterness and focus on the anger, would result in my own "slow fade". These feelings are not meant to be a part of who we are, as Christians, even though anger has its place in any affair. But when I chose to look on my husband with eyes of compassion for his fall, it changed my way of thinking altogether. This man that I loved, was in a crisis, and by golly, I wanted to help him! If we all walked away from those who have fallen and are broken, then we are quitters. We are prideful. We are hard-hearted. We are missing the call of the gospel. 
     If you know someone who has fallen away from their faith, struggling against their flesh and the devil, and walking in ways contrary to scripture, can I ask you to show them compassion? Pity and feeling sorry for them isn't the same being compassionate. Pity involves pride, while compassion understands our own ability to fall-  choose compassion over pity! They are spiritually sick, and they need help. They need love. They need wise counsel. They need a hug. They desperately need prayer. They need the body of Christ more than ever before. Please don't neglect those who are floundering in their faith. What I realized is this-  I am capable of the same fall. My sincere hope is that should it ever happen, you will faithfully pursue my restoration. Your help may not be accepted for a long time, or possibly ever, but God has called us to live out the gospel. This doesn't only pertain to the lost, but also to those who have fallen away. God never turns His back on us when we fail or fall, and I pray I will live out that same principle in my own life, regarding others! See them with eyes like Jesus, and you'll start to see that they look an awful lot like you.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, Colossians 3:12 ESV
"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12 ESV
Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 1 Peter 3:8 ESV
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God. Matthew 5:9 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, may we train our eyes to see others with compassionate eyes, like Yours. It's so easy to dismiss those who have hurt us, refusing to restore relationships, and seeking revenge, instead. Help us to see the hurting, even though they have hurt us, too. God, help us to draw alongside the spiritually ill, and love them through it. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen!

False Start

     Last summer, my heart soared. I got a call from my husband saying all the words I wanted to hear. I wondered what caused the turn around, and was just so excited for a fresh start. To celebrate, we took some time away- just the two of us. We traveled to one of our favorite spots in Florida- Siesta Key Beach. We would have a week to talk, connect, and spend time together. 
     I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, but something seemed off. Our week started out strong, but as it went on, the connection felt strange. Honestly, I felt at times that he wasn't where he wanted to be, and that really bothered me. On the drive home, we didn't speak very much at all. I attributed it to being tired, and he was content to drive the whole way. There wasn't really tension, just a failure to feel rejuvenated in our relationship and connected in all aspects. This was affirmed when we returned home, and again, we drifted away from one another. The affair was not over. These were frustrating, heartbreaking, and painful points in our journey. 
     Maybe you've felt that in your relationship. Things seem to be going the right direction, but there is an underlying issue that ends up driving you apart, rather than closer together. Sometimes we have a firm understanding of what the root cause is, and other times we don't. Regardless, it's a hard bend in the road that leaves us feeling hurt and uncertain.
     False starts in relationships happen. We forge ahead, thinking we are on a good path, only to discover we aren't really moving forward after all. I think of times this has happened not only in my marriage, but in my spiritual walk with Christ. I have the best intentions of "turning over a new leaf" only to flounder again, and again. I used to wonder how this kept happening, and how I could avoid having it happen again. But I discovered that my lack of consistency for staying tuned in to His voice was the biggest contributing factor to falling off track. 
     If you've had the same spiritual struggle, the answers are found in daily Bible reading, study, and prayer. The more you do it, the more you'll enjoy it. The more you enjoy it, the more it will change your life. And when your life is changed, your marriage will also change. Just as we rely on God's grace toward us for a relationship with Him, we must also lavish it on our spouses, or significant others. A relationship without grace cannot thrive. Likewise, a relationship without a repentant heart for wrongdoing, also can't thrive. If you want a fresh start today instead of a false start, start with the truth found in His Word and let it spill over into all areas of your life. It will change you- and it will give you a new sense of purpose! Let this verse be your daily motivation:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your wonderful, marvelous grace. I am grateful that You give me fresh starts, and forgive my false starts. Help those hurting in their marriages today that are struggling with false starts. I know the pain of it, and I pray that You work in their lives and hearts. I pray for a heart of grace and compassion, and also for a repentant heart when I hurt others or sin against You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!