A lot happened in the month my husband was away after he left the second time in late December. Much of it has been included in our blog posts, and some will be held in our hearts for just us. If you read my husband's deliverance story, you remember how I had emptied his side of the closet and packed his things up. It wasn't to be cruel, it was to save my heart from seeing his things multiple times a day, but not seeing him. So I can tell you this- when we filled it back up with his clothing, shoes, hats, and belts, I felt such joy and such a sense of relief.
As soon as he was home, we started out doing the things we needed to do for us. First- devotion time and prayer time together. We do morning devotions that we send to one another since he's off to work, then we do our bedtime ones together. These are sweet times and I look forward to them. Then- spending time together. We started having one weekend night a week that we go out with either just the two of us, or another couple. We love these times and it's a great way to connect and unwind from the busyness of the week.
Family time is important too. We love a rare evening when we are all home together or a weekend night when we can all have a meal together. Rebuilding our family is a priority as well, and while the process isn't quick and easy, we are making a lot of progress. Having their Dad home allows our children to see the changes he has made, and how we are committed to making our recommitment to one another seriously.
One of the best things is knowing I am not alone- not as a woman, and not as a parent. Someone is there for me- caring for me and loving me. How I missed having another half- a half that helps my half function so much better. And perhaps one of my favorite parts of all was knowing when we pulled in our driveway, we were both home. No goodbyes, no "text me when you get to your sister's!" No "sleep good" or goodnight kiss in the driveway. God has poured down blessings on us in ways that are miraculous. Thank You, Father, for Your abundant mercy and love towards us- we are humbled and amazed! And as I drift off to sleep each night, I look up towards the sky and whisper words of gratitude to the One Who never let me down.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17 ESV
And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16 ESV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, Ephesians 1:3 ESV
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly that all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, Ephesians 3:20 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for never giving up on us. We see with eyes that see where we are in the moment, and we often lack faith to see where You will take us. Thank You for sight that sees all, for a mind that knows all, and for a heart that loves all. Thank You for doing more than we could ever ask or imagine, and help us to love and serve You with faithful abandon. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Showing posts with label again. Show all posts
Showing posts with label again. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 27, 2019
Monday, March 4, 2019
December 28, 2018 - Another Goodbye
When things aren't right in a marriage, you can feel it in your gut. We had been reunited for four months, and although the first two went well, the second two revealed an issue- our marriage battle wasn't over. We got through the holidays with strain and unease, a time I usually enjoyed immensely. In all ways, things were different- the holidays were celebrated in a different way, and our hearts were once again far apart.
Even though we lived under the same roof, and were "not okay", I do want to say that my husband made a concerted effort to make Christmas the best it could be, given the circumstances. He has always been generous, and that was no different. I did enjoy the day with my family, and if nothing else, we were still partners- working side by side to keep things going. But when the lights went out that night, I had such a feeling of dread and expectation, knowing he had one foot out the door. With Christmas officially over, I felt the other foot would now follow.
The day after Christmas, I noticed a pile of gifts that he received were stacked up on the floor of our room. He always puts things away, and I thought it was weird. But the morning I knew he was leaving, I noticed a bag packed in our closet- shoes, belts and some clothing, along with his packed shave bag. My stomach dropped because I was certain, before the close of that day, he would be gone. My nerves were on edge and my heart was a mess.
Around lunch time, I checked his location and noticed he was getting closer and closer to home. He wasn't supposed to be coming home, so I knew why he was. I tried to look calm and busy with my business tax information at the dining room table. He walked in the door, and asked if we could talk in private. I literally felt sick. We went back to our room where he stated that he tried, but still wasn't happy. He assured me I had done nothing to contribute to his decision, but was going to leave once again.
There was no longer any use to argue. I had come to peace with whatever happened, and while it was heartbreaking and unsettling, it was almost a relief since I knew it was coming. We spoke a few words, he went up and spoke to our son, came back down and we hugged and he walked out the door. It was me and God, and I knew He was with me. It's an amazing comfort to have Him when we experience times like this. So I sang to Him, and talked to Him just like He was sitting beside me, because I can tell you this for sure- He was! Thank You Lord, for meeting us in our deepest heartaches.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 ESV
This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. Psalm 119:50 ESV
So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. John 16:22 ESV
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, You comfort us when we are sad and heartbroken. I thank You for being so near at those times, and revealing Your tender love to us. Thank You for loving not only the hurt, but the one who is hurting others, and for pursuing them relentlessly. God- You are so good, and I praise You for Your tender mercies and kindness to us. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Even though we lived under the same roof, and were "not okay", I do want to say that my husband made a concerted effort to make Christmas the best it could be, given the circumstances. He has always been generous, and that was no different. I did enjoy the day with my family, and if nothing else, we were still partners- working side by side to keep things going. But when the lights went out that night, I had such a feeling of dread and expectation, knowing he had one foot out the door. With Christmas officially over, I felt the other foot would now follow.
The day after Christmas, I noticed a pile of gifts that he received were stacked up on the floor of our room. He always puts things away, and I thought it was weird. But the morning I knew he was leaving, I noticed a bag packed in our closet- shoes, belts and some clothing, along with his packed shave bag. My stomach dropped because I was certain, before the close of that day, he would be gone. My nerves were on edge and my heart was a mess.
Around lunch time, I checked his location and noticed he was getting closer and closer to home. He wasn't supposed to be coming home, so I knew why he was. I tried to look calm and busy with my business tax information at the dining room table. He walked in the door, and asked if we could talk in private. I literally felt sick. We went back to our room where he stated that he tried, but still wasn't happy. He assured me I had done nothing to contribute to his decision, but was going to leave once again.
There was no longer any use to argue. I had come to peace with whatever happened, and while it was heartbreaking and unsettling, it was almost a relief since I knew it was coming. We spoke a few words, he went up and spoke to our son, came back down and we hugged and he walked out the door. It was me and God, and I knew He was with me. It's an amazing comfort to have Him when we experience times like this. So I sang to Him, and talked to Him just like He was sitting beside me, because I can tell you this for sure- He was! Thank You Lord, for meeting us in our deepest heartaches.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 ESV
This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. Psalm 119:50 ESV
So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. John 16:22 ESV
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, You comfort us when we are sad and heartbroken. I thank You for being so near at those times, and revealing Your tender love to us. Thank You for loving not only the hurt, but the one who is hurting others, and for pursuing them relentlessly. God- You are so good, and I praise You for Your tender mercies and kindness to us. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
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