A lot happened in the month my husband was away after he left the second time in late December. Much of it has been included in our blog posts, and some will be held in our hearts for just us. If you read my husband's deliverance story, you remember how I had emptied his side of the closet and packed his things up. It wasn't to be cruel, it was to save my heart from seeing his things multiple times a day, but not seeing him. So I can tell you this- when we filled it back up with his clothing, shoes, hats, and belts, I felt such joy and such a sense of relief.
As soon as he was home, we started out doing the things we needed to do for us. First- devotion time and prayer time together. We do morning devotions that we send to one another since he's off to work, then we do our bedtime ones together. These are sweet times and I look forward to them. Then- spending time together. We started having one weekend night a week that we go out with either just the two of us, or another couple. We love these times and it's a great way to connect and unwind from the busyness of the week.
Family time is important too. We love a rare evening when we are all home together or a weekend night when we can all have a meal together. Rebuilding our family is a priority as well, and while the process isn't quick and easy, we are making a lot of progress. Having their Dad home allows our children to see the changes he has made, and how we are committed to making our recommitment to one another seriously.
One of the best things is knowing I am not alone- not as a woman, and not as a parent. Someone is there for me- caring for me and loving me. How I missed having another half- a half that helps my half function so much better. And perhaps one of my favorite parts of all was knowing when we pulled in our driveway, we were both home. No goodbyes, no "text me when you get to your sister's!" No "sleep good" or goodnight kiss in the driveway. God has poured down blessings on us in ways that are miraculous. Thank You, Father, for Your abundant mercy and love towards us- we are humbled and amazed! And as I drift off to sleep each night, I look up towards the sky and whisper words of gratitude to the One Who never let me down.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17 ESV
And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16 ESV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, Ephesians 1:3 ESV
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly that all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, Ephesians 3:20 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for never giving up on us. We see with eyes that see where we are in the moment, and we often lack faith to see where You will take us. Thank You for sight that sees all, for a mind that knows all, and for a heart that loves all. Thank You for doing more than we could ever ask or imagine, and help us to love and serve You with faithful abandon. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Showing posts with label new. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 27, 2019
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Dating my Husband Again
Remember the feeling of waiting to get picked up by your date? You would get all cleaned up, dressed up, and excited? We first dated before cell phones were a thing- there was no constant communication, and we couldn't FaceTime or Skype. We looked forward to the weekend since we lived 50 minutes apart and lived on our 10:00 pm phone calls (when the rates dropped)! I remember being so excited when I would hear him pulling into our driveway to whisk me away for a couple hours of fun.
It might seem a little crazy, but love doesn't change. Twenty-five years of marriage went by, followed by a really difficult year. But I can tell you, when he pulled in our driveway for our dates earlier this year, my heart felt like the same teenage-girl that waited for him decades earlier. The wonderful thing is this- our difficult year didn't define us, but it did refine us. I learned to appreciate him in a whole new way. This man wasn't afraid to be vulnerable and honest. He didn't hold back his tears or emotions. I was given a gift to know a better man than I had known before, and I thank God for that each day. My story could've went a whole different way, but I'm glad God chose this path for me- for us.
While it wasn't easy living apart, it did make the time we had together so special. We knew it was temporary, and looked forward to the day we could live under the same roof again. We talked, we dreamed, we shared, we cried, and we connected in a whole new way. What had been between us before- we learned from it, but it was a part of our past, not our present. We have been given a fresh start to do things better this go round.
If you have walked through infidelity in your marriage, you may not have a chance for a fresh start. If that is your story, and you prayed for a different outcome, then I'm so sorry. Being rejected is painful and can't be glossed over. But I would like to encourage you to find your own new beautiful story. While I had come to peace with parting ways with my husband, it was never what I wanted. I am thankful each day for where we are today- growing together and making a beautiful new story. This was truly only a script that God could write, and having Him at our center is key in building something that will last. Some bends in our life journey are really painful places to walk through, but I am so thankful God allows them to make us stronger, wiser, and more like His Son. Thank You, Lord, for giving us fresh starts, and for rescuing us in our darkest moments. And thank You for the light of these new days- days full of hope and love and opportunity!
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV
And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great. Job 8:7 ESV
For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more." Hebrews 8:12 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for these new days- days full of new beginnings and promise. I thank You for the lessons of the past, and for bringing us through some of our worst days. Your mercy is always greater than our failures and we are humbled by this beautiful truth. Give us strength and courage each day to make something stronger and better, and may our love be centered around Your Son. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
It might seem a little crazy, but love doesn't change. Twenty-five years of marriage went by, followed by a really difficult year. But I can tell you, when he pulled in our driveway for our dates earlier this year, my heart felt like the same teenage-girl that waited for him decades earlier. The wonderful thing is this- our difficult year didn't define us, but it did refine us. I learned to appreciate him in a whole new way. This man wasn't afraid to be vulnerable and honest. He didn't hold back his tears or emotions. I was given a gift to know a better man than I had known before, and I thank God for that each day. My story could've went a whole different way, but I'm glad God chose this path for me- for us.
While it wasn't easy living apart, it did make the time we had together so special. We knew it was temporary, and looked forward to the day we could live under the same roof again. We talked, we dreamed, we shared, we cried, and we connected in a whole new way. What had been between us before- we learned from it, but it was a part of our past, not our present. We have been given a fresh start to do things better this go round.
If you have walked through infidelity in your marriage, you may not have a chance for a fresh start. If that is your story, and you prayed for a different outcome, then I'm so sorry. Being rejected is painful and can't be glossed over. But I would like to encourage you to find your own new beautiful story. While I had come to peace with parting ways with my husband, it was never what I wanted. I am thankful each day for where we are today- growing together and making a beautiful new story. This was truly only a script that God could write, and having Him at our center is key in building something that will last. Some bends in our life journey are really painful places to walk through, but I am so thankful God allows them to make us stronger, wiser, and more like His Son. Thank You, Lord, for giving us fresh starts, and for rescuing us in our darkest moments. And thank You for the light of these new days- days full of hope and love and opportunity!
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV
And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great. Job 8:7 ESV
For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more." Hebrews 8:12 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for these new days- days full of new beginnings and promise. I thank You for the lessons of the past, and for bringing us through some of our worst days. Your mercy is always greater than our failures and we are humbled by this beautiful truth. Give us strength and courage each day to make something stronger and better, and may our love be centered around Your Son. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Monday, March 18, 2019
Changes
Changes- I generally find them uncomfortable and often resist them. When the clock changes in the spring and fall, I can't say I like those changes; they leave me tired and disoriented. I don't like the changes my body is going through as it transitions from young to old- things feel stiffer, grayer, flabbier, foggier, and wrinklier. And then there are the changes that come through phases of life- parenting has changed a lot for me in the past 20 plus years. From diapers, to science projects to swim meets to "where are my kids?", so many changes along the way. But when it comes to a marriage that was impacted by infidelity, changes must happen, and usually these are changes for the better; these changes I embrace and rejoice over.
The result of a broken person is one who is forever changed. I wrote a little about that in the blog post titled Broken. I'm so glad to be able to blog about these changes, as many who may not personally know us, likely have some incorrect assumptions of who we really are. One of my favorite changes was the willingness and work towards being completely open- no secrets, no "off limits" subjects, no lies. This was a necessary change toward a healthier marriage and one where trust could begin growing again. We are now able to discuss almost any topic without feeling walls and barriers. Of course there are some that will take time as they are areas that are very raw and painful. But I appreciate this new openness, and without it, would find moving forward very difficult.
The other crucial, major change was spiritual in nature. We now thoroughly enjoy sharing devotions and prayer time to start our day, and to end our day. As Christians, we believe that arming ourselves with scripture is the most powerful safeguard available to us- why not use it? These are my favorite moments spent together in our day, and through them, God is restoring us as a couple. In the past few years, we also had devotion time, but it lacked heart and sincerity which I believe greatly opened us up to Satan's attack against us. I highly recommend spending time with your spouse, sharing scripture and prayer. This is one of the highest forms of intimacy and greatly enriches our relationship.
Accountability has been another change that was necessary in order for our marriage to heal and grow. Whether it's sharing phone location, being open and honest about one another, or sharing the details of our day, being accountable to one another is imperative post-adultery. Rebuilding a marriage may be hard work, but the payoff is huge. I love a devotion my husband recently shared with me. It was centered around accountability to God for our marriage. One day, we will stand before Him and give account of our marriage- how we treated one another, how we served Him together, and so much more! God cares about our marriages, and will willingly assist us in rebuilding after the damage of a storm. I'm so thankful He cares- so much more than I can even begin to understand. And I am ever so grateful for the changes I see in our marriage in this new phase of our lives, and we appreciate your prayers as we work to make it a beautiful offering to present back to our Heavenly Father!
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2 ESV
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, our marriage needed change, and I thank You for opening our hearts to change in areas where it was most needed. Help any others who may be stuck in unhealthy patterns to courageously face them, seek ways to improve them, and making the necessary changes. We are creatures of habit and selfish at best, and yet You call us to something better. Lord, help us do the work required to present our marriage to You one day, knowing we can offer it as a treasure. Help us live lives that seek to honor You in all we do. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
The result of a broken person is one who is forever changed. I wrote a little about that in the blog post titled Broken. I'm so glad to be able to blog about these changes, as many who may not personally know us, likely have some incorrect assumptions of who we really are. One of my favorite changes was the willingness and work towards being completely open- no secrets, no "off limits" subjects, no lies. This was a necessary change toward a healthier marriage and one where trust could begin growing again. We are now able to discuss almost any topic without feeling walls and barriers. Of course there are some that will take time as they are areas that are very raw and painful. But I appreciate this new openness, and without it, would find moving forward very difficult.
The other crucial, major change was spiritual in nature. We now thoroughly enjoy sharing devotions and prayer time to start our day, and to end our day. As Christians, we believe that arming ourselves with scripture is the most powerful safeguard available to us- why not use it? These are my favorite moments spent together in our day, and through them, God is restoring us as a couple. In the past few years, we also had devotion time, but it lacked heart and sincerity which I believe greatly opened us up to Satan's attack against us. I highly recommend spending time with your spouse, sharing scripture and prayer. This is one of the highest forms of intimacy and greatly enriches our relationship.
Accountability has been another change that was necessary in order for our marriage to heal and grow. Whether it's sharing phone location, being open and honest about one another, or sharing the details of our day, being accountable to one another is imperative post-adultery. Rebuilding a marriage may be hard work, but the payoff is huge. I love a devotion my husband recently shared with me. It was centered around accountability to God for our marriage. One day, we will stand before Him and give account of our marriage- how we treated one another, how we served Him together, and so much more! God cares about our marriages, and will willingly assist us in rebuilding after the damage of a storm. I'm so thankful He cares- so much more than I can even begin to understand. And I am ever so grateful for the changes I see in our marriage in this new phase of our lives, and we appreciate your prayers as we work to make it a beautiful offering to present back to our Heavenly Father!
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2 ESV
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, our marriage needed change, and I thank You for opening our hearts to change in areas where it was most needed. Help any others who may be stuck in unhealthy patterns to courageously face them, seek ways to improve them, and making the necessary changes. We are creatures of habit and selfish at best, and yet You call us to something better. Lord, help us do the work required to present our marriage to You one day, knowing we can offer it as a treasure. Help us live lives that seek to honor You in all we do. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Saturday, March 9, 2019
Let Go, But Don't Give up Hope!
I recently posted a blog about letting go, and how it was a lesson I had to learn. Apparently, feeling in control was very important to me and I was pretty challenged in learning to let go, and truly allow God to do His work. But I can tell you for certain, when my husband left that second time I felt defeated- I had surely lost the fight for my marriage. It sure looked that way, but I was trusting God to somehow carry me through to the "new" that He had for me.
And that is where hope came in. I had placed hope in a restored husband and restored marriage, instead of placing my hope in Jesus Christ. My challenge was learning to place my hope in the plans He had for me- whatever they were. I had to believe that the plans ahead would someday, somehow, bring healing and joy. I had to believe that He loved me and would heal my heart and restore my brokenness. And I also had to believe that in some way, it was possible that my marriage wasn't over- but only if He opened the door. But in this moment, I had to let go and wait expectantly for the good He had planned for me.
If you are walking through a valley, don't give up hope. Some days will look dark and nearly impossible to overcome, and yet God is able in every situation. When I got to this point in my journey, God quickly moved to throw open doors I never imagined. But that door didn't open until I let Him take over. We struggle with allowing God to take control of our lives and think we know better. God forgive me for my foolish ways of thinking!
One of my favorite promises found in scripture is found in 1 Peter 5:10. (And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.) Brothers and sisters, we are going to suffer trials in our lives: it's unavoidable living in am imperfect world. But we won't stay there forever! This scripture promises that after a little while, the God of grace will restore us once again. If we can wrap our minds around that truth in the valley, we can look forward with hope, knowing the mountaintop awaits us- and very soon, He will place us there! God, I thank You for delivering me from my distress, and for faithfully upholding Your precious promises to me!
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 ESV
"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Psalm 39:7 ESV
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:25 ESV
For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O LORD, from my youth. Psalm 71:5 ESV
Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off. Proverbs 23:18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray I will let You have control in my life, and that I will never lose hope in Your promises to me. Thank You for walking me through my darkest days, and for victoriously leading me out into the "new" You have for me. Strengthen my trust and faith in You always, Lord. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
And that is where hope came in. I had placed hope in a restored husband and restored marriage, instead of placing my hope in Jesus Christ. My challenge was learning to place my hope in the plans He had for me- whatever they were. I had to believe that the plans ahead would someday, somehow, bring healing and joy. I had to believe that He loved me and would heal my heart and restore my brokenness. And I also had to believe that in some way, it was possible that my marriage wasn't over- but only if He opened the door. But in this moment, I had to let go and wait expectantly for the good He had planned for me.
If you are walking through a valley, don't give up hope. Some days will look dark and nearly impossible to overcome, and yet God is able in every situation. When I got to this point in my journey, God quickly moved to throw open doors I never imagined. But that door didn't open until I let Him take over. We struggle with allowing God to take control of our lives and think we know better. God forgive me for my foolish ways of thinking!
One of my favorite promises found in scripture is found in 1 Peter 5:10. (And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.) Brothers and sisters, we are going to suffer trials in our lives: it's unavoidable living in am imperfect world. But we won't stay there forever! This scripture promises that after a little while, the God of grace will restore us once again. If we can wrap our minds around that truth in the valley, we can look forward with hope, knowing the mountaintop awaits us- and very soon, He will place us there! God, I thank You for delivering me from my distress, and for faithfully upholding Your precious promises to me!
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 ESV
"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Psalm 39:7 ESV
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:25 ESV
For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O LORD, from my youth. Psalm 71:5 ESV
Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off. Proverbs 23:18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray I will let You have control in my life, and that I will never lose hope in Your promises to me. Thank You for walking me through my darkest days, and for victoriously leading me out into the "new" You have for me. Strengthen my trust and faith in You always, Lord. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Thursday, March 7, 2019
New Year- New Me
I think of the phrase, "new year, new you", and this year, that couldn't be more true. Oh the changes of the past year... and how those changes changed me! Here I was looking forward into 2019 with a whole different life situation- some good, some heartbreaking. While I had grown closer to the Lord, deepened my relationships with my children, started my own business, and began this blog journey, I was also looking at a possible divorce and the absence of my favorite person.
There were definite things I wanted to celebrate, and others I wished to forget. And just as with NYE, I didn't want to face the same traditions we had celebrated in past years and longed for something different. I know some of my family members didn't understand, but I could not do my usual hosting of New Year's Day, or anything remotely similar. It's a hard thing to try to explain to someone who hasn't been there, but "different" was absolutely necessary.
In the past, I had my whole family over for an Italian meal, games, strategizing for our family diet for the next few months, and just enjoying one another's company. It had always been something I enjoyed, but I was ready for a change. My kids were supportive of "something new", and we ended up celebrating in a really fun way, and had a really fun day! We spent a few hours at Top Golf, which by the way, I'm not too good at;) But hey- I think I may have a future at honing this new skill! Then we headed off for a couple hours of shopping and a nice dinner out. My kids made me laugh, and at times, I forgot my sadness. Kids are good for bringing a smile or a laugh when we need one the most.
While I knew my husband was off celebrating in a different place, I didn't know that God was working in his heart to begin something absolutely amazing. And so while this day was a different day, with a different perspective and outlook, very soon God would do something that could only point to His absolute faithfulness and power. But in this new moment, of this new year, there were changes in me that only God could bring about, and for them, I am thankful.
If you take your loved ones or your marriage for granted, I want you to take this moment to appreciate them. Tomorrow is not guaranteed- not the people we love or the marriage we have. And take this moment to appreciate the God Who delivers us from our worst moments, and brings us into victory. This isn't victory we have won for ourselves- but victory He gives through His miraculous work. And when we experience that victory, the most powerful thing we see through it is God's glory. Thank You dear Jesus for seeking victory in not only my marriage, but my life! Help me to remember that through it all, it isn't about me, Lord- it's all about You! When all is said and done, and my body is laid to rest, I hope there is this one thing remembered about my life- the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father and how His glory was revealed in my life.
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 ESV
For the word of the LORD is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness. Psalm 33:4 ESV
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV
O LORD GOd of hosts, who is mighty as you are, O LORD, with your faithfulness all around you? Psalm 89:8 ESV
He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and a buckler. Psalm 91:4 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, You faithfully deliver us from our fiery trials in Your time, not ours. You walked alongside me through my most painful days, never leaving me when life got tough. Your faithfulness and power give so much hope and encouragement and when I walk through the gates of victory, may others recognize the Author of my victory. Thank You for fighting for me, Father. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
There were definite things I wanted to celebrate, and others I wished to forget. And just as with NYE, I didn't want to face the same traditions we had celebrated in past years and longed for something different. I know some of my family members didn't understand, but I could not do my usual hosting of New Year's Day, or anything remotely similar. It's a hard thing to try to explain to someone who hasn't been there, but "different" was absolutely necessary.
In the past, I had my whole family over for an Italian meal, games, strategizing for our family diet for the next few months, and just enjoying one another's company. It had always been something I enjoyed, but I was ready for a change. My kids were supportive of "something new", and we ended up celebrating in a really fun way, and had a really fun day! We spent a few hours at Top Golf, which by the way, I'm not too good at;) But hey- I think I may have a future at honing this new skill! Then we headed off for a couple hours of shopping and a nice dinner out. My kids made me laugh, and at times, I forgot my sadness. Kids are good for bringing a smile or a laugh when we need one the most.
While I knew my husband was off celebrating in a different place, I didn't know that God was working in his heart to begin something absolutely amazing. And so while this day was a different day, with a different perspective and outlook, very soon God would do something that could only point to His absolute faithfulness and power. But in this new moment, of this new year, there were changes in me that only God could bring about, and for them, I am thankful.
If you take your loved ones or your marriage for granted, I want you to take this moment to appreciate them. Tomorrow is not guaranteed- not the people we love or the marriage we have. And take this moment to appreciate the God Who delivers us from our worst moments, and brings us into victory. This isn't victory we have won for ourselves- but victory He gives through His miraculous work. And when we experience that victory, the most powerful thing we see through it is God's glory. Thank You dear Jesus for seeking victory in not only my marriage, but my life! Help me to remember that through it all, it isn't about me, Lord- it's all about You! When all is said and done, and my body is laid to rest, I hope there is this one thing remembered about my life- the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father and how His glory was revealed in my life.
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 ESV
For the word of the LORD is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness. Psalm 33:4 ESV
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV
O LORD GOd of hosts, who is mighty as you are, O LORD, with your faithfulness all around you? Psalm 89:8 ESV
He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and a buckler. Psalm 91:4 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, You faithfully deliver us from our fiery trials in Your time, not ours. You walked alongside me through my most painful days, never leaving me when life got tough. Your faithfulness and power give so much hope and encouragement and when I walk through the gates of victory, may others recognize the Author of my victory. Thank You for fighting for me, Father. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Wednesday, March 6, 2019
New Year's Eve, 2018
How do you celebrate New Year's Eve? Do you have certain traditions that you enjoy carrying out with your loved ones? Most of us have our family traditions that surround holidays, and we look forward to them with anticipation. Because really- holidays are about family, and being with the people we love. And that's all well and good until we find ourselves in the middle of a broken marriage.
For many years, our family has celebrated New Year's Eve the same way. We go to my sister's house around 7pm. We eat (too much), we play games, we visit, we watch the ball drop on TV, and we bring in the New Year with loud kazoos, kisses, sparkling cider, and fireworks. These are fireworks well outside of the acceptable for midnight range - especially in their neighborhood, but so far- no cops;) It's a night of family, fun, food and lots of laughs.
This year, though, I didn't really have many laughs. I dreaded going, to be honest, because a big part of my New Year's Eve had been wrapped around the one who gave me my midnight kiss- and he was painfully absent. I didn't want to go, and yet I felt I had to resume some sort of normalcy. I was faced with many possible New Year's Eves, and I needed to start trying to find a new way of life on my own. My mom was a great listening ear that night, and understood if I wanted to leave, I could leave. I appreciated her caring, unselfish ways that night- I sure needed someone to understand.
My real issue wasn't the 7:00-11:59 part of the evening- it was the 12:00 on the nose, part of the evening that I dreaded. And so around 11:30, I made my exit and just wanted to bring in the New Year in my home. I wanted to sit on my couch, watch the ball drop, and use the time to pray for new beginnings. I had been checking on my husband's location (he still shared his), and I knew he was celebrating far away from home and it hurt.
These are days when we especially need our Heavenly Father. In a way that I had never needed him prior to our marriage crisis, I was learning to really know the truth of His faithfulness, and He never let me down. Maybe you've known Him in this same way, and you were amazed and humbled at the love of our precious Father. I can tell you- it meant all the difference to me! It was life to my weary, sad heart, and gave such comfort in those dark days. But what I didn't know was that God was preparing the way for a miracle in my life. While I knew He was able, I had no expectations for what was ahead anymore- other than to know that no matter what... He STILL had good plans for me. Wherever you are today, don't lose sight of that wonderful truth found in Jeremiah 29:11. The good plans are there- and in His time, they will come. Be patient in tribulation, my Friend, trusting He is faithful to His Word.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 ESV
And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great. Job 8:7 ESV
Trust in the LORD will all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, when we face hard life events or holidays without a loved one, we are so thankful for Your help and comfort through those times. A big part of faith is knowing that on our darkest days, You will bring us back to a place of joy and hope. The process won't be painless or easy, but we trust You to carry us through. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
For many years, our family has celebrated New Year's Eve the same way. We go to my sister's house around 7pm. We eat (too much), we play games, we visit, we watch the ball drop on TV, and we bring in the New Year with loud kazoos, kisses, sparkling cider, and fireworks. These are fireworks well outside of the acceptable for midnight range - especially in their neighborhood, but so far- no cops;) It's a night of family, fun, food and lots of laughs.
This year, though, I didn't really have many laughs. I dreaded going, to be honest, because a big part of my New Year's Eve had been wrapped around the one who gave me my midnight kiss- and he was painfully absent. I didn't want to go, and yet I felt I had to resume some sort of normalcy. I was faced with many possible New Year's Eves, and I needed to start trying to find a new way of life on my own. My mom was a great listening ear that night, and understood if I wanted to leave, I could leave. I appreciated her caring, unselfish ways that night- I sure needed someone to understand.
My real issue wasn't the 7:00-11:59 part of the evening- it was the 12:00 on the nose, part of the evening that I dreaded. And so around 11:30, I made my exit and just wanted to bring in the New Year in my home. I wanted to sit on my couch, watch the ball drop, and use the time to pray for new beginnings. I had been checking on my husband's location (he still shared his), and I knew he was celebrating far away from home and it hurt.
These are days when we especially need our Heavenly Father. In a way that I had never needed him prior to our marriage crisis, I was learning to really know the truth of His faithfulness, and He never let me down. Maybe you've known Him in this same way, and you were amazed and humbled at the love of our precious Father. I can tell you- it meant all the difference to me! It was life to my weary, sad heart, and gave such comfort in those dark days. But what I didn't know was that God was preparing the way for a miracle in my life. While I knew He was able, I had no expectations for what was ahead anymore- other than to know that no matter what... He STILL had good plans for me. Wherever you are today, don't lose sight of that wonderful truth found in Jeremiah 29:11. The good plans are there- and in His time, they will come. Be patient in tribulation, my Friend, trusting He is faithful to His Word.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 ESV
And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great. Job 8:7 ESV
Trust in the LORD will all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, when we face hard life events or holidays without a loved one, we are so thankful for Your help and comfort through those times. A big part of faith is knowing that on our darkest days, You will bring us back to a place of joy and hope. The process won't be painless or easy, but we trust You to carry us through. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Friday, February 8, 2019
Would I Take him Back?
What were the things that initially drew you to your spouse? For me, it was his confidence, fun personality, beautiful blue eyes, interest in spiritual things, and a persistence in pursuing me. I never thought he would be who I would marry, because for years, he was just my younger brother's best friend. I knew he liked me, but it wasn't until college that I discovered I liked him back.
We spent many happy years together, as a married couple. I loved how he made me feel secure, protected, and loved. I enjoyed spending time with him. We traveled, had dinner dates, and enjoyed sexual intimacy. We raised kids, worked to build a family and home, and poured ourselves into our church. This man was my person, and I loved him! I never imagined things would change the way they did. I took for granted our marriage, and our commitment to it.
An affair changes things. It takes a solid foundation, and puts a huge crack in it. Where do we go from here? A new possibility entered- a future apart from one another. Would there be a chance for us to work things out? Was it possible for us to restore our marriage? Did we want to? These were tough questions that I wrestled with daily.
Apart from grace that only God can give, the answer would have been no. Apart from forgiveness patterned after Jesus, and how He forgives, it would be impossible. Apart from a willingness on his side to surrender himself to God and His will, it wouldn't happen. But the bottom line is- I remembered what was. I remembered his role in my life, and how important it was. I remembered my vows- and what they meant. I remembered how God sees marriage. And I remembered our love, before things fell apart.
Not everyone can open themselves up to restoring a marriage, but I do believe if given the opportunity, and with God guiding, it is what was right for me. I didn't want him back for the security of finances; I didn't want him back for what he had to offer me. I simply was willing to take him back because I loved him still, and wanted to honor my Heavenly Father by loving like He does- without limits. Would my husband give me that chance? Well, I will share that with you another day;)
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 ESV
Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22 ESV
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Isaiah 43:18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, we all are so thankful for the many opportunities You give us after we disappoint You with sin. I thank You for Your grace and forgiveness, offered so generously towards me. Lord, help me to offer it to those I love when I have been wronged. Help me to have Your strength to do what I cannot, on my own. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
We spent many happy years together, as a married couple. I loved how he made me feel secure, protected, and loved. I enjoyed spending time with him. We traveled, had dinner dates, and enjoyed sexual intimacy. We raised kids, worked to build a family and home, and poured ourselves into our church. This man was my person, and I loved him! I never imagined things would change the way they did. I took for granted our marriage, and our commitment to it.
An affair changes things. It takes a solid foundation, and puts a huge crack in it. Where do we go from here? A new possibility entered- a future apart from one another. Would there be a chance for us to work things out? Was it possible for us to restore our marriage? Did we want to? These were tough questions that I wrestled with daily.
Apart from grace that only God can give, the answer would have been no. Apart from forgiveness patterned after Jesus, and how He forgives, it would be impossible. Apart from a willingness on his side to surrender himself to God and His will, it wouldn't happen. But the bottom line is- I remembered what was. I remembered his role in my life, and how important it was. I remembered my vows- and what they meant. I remembered how God sees marriage. And I remembered our love, before things fell apart.
Not everyone can open themselves up to restoring a marriage, but I do believe if given the opportunity, and with God guiding, it is what was right for me. I didn't want him back for the security of finances; I didn't want him back for what he had to offer me. I simply was willing to take him back because I loved him still, and wanted to honor my Heavenly Father by loving like He does- without limits. Would my husband give me that chance? Well, I will share that with you another day;)
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 ESV
Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22 ESV
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Isaiah 43:18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, we all are so thankful for the many opportunities You give us after we disappoint You with sin. I thank You for Your grace and forgiveness, offered so generously towards me. Lord, help me to offer it to those I love when I have been wronged. Help me to have Your strength to do what I cannot, on my own. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
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