I remember the good old days- the days when my son thought I hung the moon. "Mom, I'm gonna marry you when I get big", he'd say. Other nights, when I would tuck him in his bed, he would whisper "goodnight, mom. You're my favorite person in the whole world." That was before he grew up, and before Delanie. That's life in a child's world, where mom and dad held that number one place in the life of their little one. It's not that my son doesn't love me now, but he realized as he grew up that I'm just "mom", and I 'll never take the place of Who should be first in life. And he also realized he sure doesn't want to marry me, thank goodness!
But his naive misplaced view of me is a great picture of how we place value on relationships. Often, we get it wrong and we place the priority of our hearts on someone here. We love others more than we love God. I've had to question myself on this age old problem- who has the ultimate place of priority in my heart? Is it my kids? Is it my husband? Is it a boyfriend or fiancé? Is it a career or a substance? What gets top place in my affections and in my life? We can get a little turned around in love. We may romanticize loving someone more than anyone or anything. We may think we are loving the very best kind of love, but if we love them more than we love and serve God, we simply aren't.
The truth is, loving God helps us love everyone else so much better. God is love, and through Him, we learn how to love others. Healthy relationships are not based on how a person performs. When we learn to allow God's love for us redefine the way we love others, we free a person from being loved based on their qualifications. We all mess up, and we all make mistakes. If we love others first, we will eventually be let down by them and begin to question if we truly love one another. If we love God first, we will better understand that people are fallible, and can only love with human capacity- faulty at best. Understanding our own shortcomings, and how they don't disqualify us from God's great love for us, helps us pass it on to those we have a love relationship with.
There are many practical ways we can show that we love God first in our habits, attitudes, choices, and behaviors. Making God our top priority will have a cost, and considering what He did for us, any cost on our part is a privilege. Putting aside time for church, studying His Word, and spending time with Him are all ways we can express our love. But perhaps one of the best indicators of how well we love Him, will be in how we love others. Selflessly. Graciously. Fiercely. It's a no-strings attached kind of love. A love that has no limit or no exclusions. It's an all-in kind of love, with no exit clause.
So if you really want to love others well- love God first. Kick your spouse or your girlfriend, or children down a notch. By loving God more than you love them, you'll actually love them so much better. And they'll feel it. I know I feel the most secure when my husband loves God more than he loves me. And I love him the best when I allow God to have the priority of my heart. And when you do, His love will shine through you, spilling over into all your other relationships, allowing you to look more like Jesus. In a culture with a distorted view of love, we are given the opportunity to give fresh light on God's love to a watching world, when we love Him the most.
"You shall no have other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (ESV)
And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. Matthew 22:37-38 (ESV)
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Luke 12:34 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, I should easily love you more than others, and yet my heart is often not where it should be. I get distracted by earthly love- for my husband, for my kids, and even for this world. I lose sight of all You are, and all You've done, far too often. Help me to remember that by loving You most, I will love others so much better. In Your name, I pray Jesus, Amen!
Driving down the road today, I saw a billboard that spoke to me. Not really for what it was intended for, but it stood out all the same. I was driving to Hobby Lobby, (because who doesn't just love that store?), when I saw a sign urging us to have an emergency plan in place. The sign simply said : Don't wait. Communicate! Make your emergency plan. The sign featured a home in ruins, likely from storm or fire damage. It's a very practical call to speak with our families about safety plans before disaster strikes. What a great reminder, and one we should follow. I found this sign to be important and relevant- but my mind went to storms that are not as physical in nature.
American families today are the busiest they've ever been. Our kids play sports. Travel teams are all the rage- we want them to have the best training, but there is a cost. They dance. They play piano. We run them to gymnastics. There are countless school events we must attend. Social media wars for our attention. Many families have both parents working- building our careers demands time. Church responsibilities are important, and we try to attend each service or event. Dinner tables, with all family members present, are few and far between. We shove a million little things into each day, then collapse at the end; exhausted and disconnected from the most important things- our marriages, our families, and God. We simply don't have time anymore, and it's a heartbreaking trend.
People have asked me, "Ruth, what led to the breakdown of your marriage? What went wrong?" One of the most painful and surprising answers is this- we simply were too busy to properly communicate. This causes a disconnect that is easy to miss at first, but becomes increasingly dangerous over time. Can I urge you, dear friends and readers- invest in your families, invest in your children, but never at the expense of your marriage. It is vital to allow open spaces of time to just enjoy the company of your spouse. This is impossible if you cram your day full of activity.
If you're like the average American, you're likely swamped. You don't really have the time to enjoy with your spouse, the way you should. It sounds nice, but where can you squeeze that into your already full schedule? If there is one lesson my husband and I have learned in this phase of a restored marriage, it's learning to say no. We don't have to do everything. We don't need to be everywhere, at everything. Our kids don't have to do all the things. But what we do need, is to preserve "us". If we allow our communication to suffer, our marriage will suffer. So today, make an emergency plan. You don't want to be like that picture of a house destroyed. Today, in this moment, take every step possible to communicate regularly with your spouse and your children. Satan wishes to begin the process of destruction in our marriages- in fact, he may have already started with yours. What will you do about it? Don't turn a blind eye, and refuse to acknowledge the war against us. Say no. Stay home. Sit down together and just talk. Say, "I love you". Touch one another. Tear down the walls that you've built up from over-committing. It's war- one you can win, with God's help, and a simple plan to be available and engaged in one another's lives.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 ESV
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV
Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. Proverbs 23:4 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, forgive us for allowing so much into our lives, that we are putting our marriages, family and our relationship with You, in jeopardy. Equip us with the will to say "no", and invest in what really matters. Thank You, Father, for giving us our families, but give us wisdom in what we allow in them. It's so easy to fall into the trap Satan has laid out for our relationships, and find ourselves empty, dissatisfied and disconnected. Open our eyes, Lord, and may we really see the cost of our choices. In Your precious name we pray, Amen!
A lot happened in the month my husband was away after he left the second time in late December. Much of it has been included in our blog posts, and some will be held in our hearts for just us. If you read my husband's deliverance story, you remember how I had emptied his side of the closet and packed his things up. It wasn't to be cruel, it was to save my heart from seeing his things multiple times a day, but not seeing him. So I can tell you this- when we filled it back up with his clothing, shoes, hats, and belts, I felt such joy and such a sense of relief.
As soon as he was home, we started out doing the things we needed to do for us. First- devotion time and prayer time together. We do morning devotions that we send to one another since he's off to work, then we do our bedtime ones together. These are sweet times and I look forward to them. Then- spending time together. We started having one weekend night a week that we go out with either just the two of us, or another couple. We love these times and it's a great way to connect and unwind from the busyness of the week.
Family time is important too. We love a rare evening when we are all home together or a weekend night when we can all have a meal together. Rebuilding our family is a priority as well, and while the process isn't quick and easy, we are making a lot of progress. Having their Dad home allows our children to see the changes he has made, and how we are committed to making our recommitment to one another seriously.
One of the best things is knowing I am not alone- not as a woman, and not as a parent. Someone is there for me- caring for me and loving me. How I missed having another half- a half that helps my half function so much better. And perhaps one of my favorite parts of all was knowing when we pulled in our driveway, we were both home. No goodbyes, no "text me when you get to your sister's!" No "sleep good" or goodnight kiss in the driveway. God has poured down blessings on us in ways that are miraculous. Thank You, Father, for Your abundant mercy and love towards us- we are humbled and amazed! And as I drift off to sleep each night, I look up towards the sky and whisper words of gratitude to the One Who never let me down.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17 ESV
And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16 ESV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, Ephesians 1:3 ESV
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly that all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, Ephesians 3:20 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for never giving up on us. We see with eyes that see where we are in the moment, and we often lack faith to see where You will take us. Thank You for sight that sees all, for a mind that knows all, and for a heart that loves all. Thank You for doing more than we could ever ask or imagine, and help us to love and serve You with faithful abandon. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
** Please read Part One if you find this post and have not been following. My entire story will be told over the course of a few days.
After returning from my New Year's trip and breaking things off with the other woman, I needed some of my things from our house. I knew Ruth would be at church Wednesday night, so I asked if it would be okay if I came by and grabbed a few of my things. I knew it would be easier on everyone if I went when they were not home.
What I saw when I got to the house rocked my world pretty hard. My side of the closet had been totally cleaned out and my clothes had been packed in boxes and stored under my desk in the front office. Ruth had left me a pretty challenging note that began to eat at me. I responded with some pretty selfish and stupid words and actions that I hoped would hurt them back. I was fighting against the idea that God could win this battle.
By Friday, January 4th, the conflict had grown. I was leaving work and I wanted to reach out to my wife but I was very hesitant. I knew she still shared her location with me, so I could see that she was out eating with a friend very close to where I was. I missed her, and was already feeling the touch of God in my heart about how I had treated her and my kids.
I was sitting alone at a nearby restaurant and God clearly directed me to look and see what, if anything, she had posted about this on social media. I was caught totally off guard. I had not been on Twitter in months and I found her page and began to read a blog that she had created about spouses that had been betrayed by infidelity. I was so angry with what I was reading and could not believe she would put this out there for anyone to read. In that moment, God struck me right in the heart and He said to me, "why are you angry? This is what you have caused."
I was sitting in that restaurant all alone with tears running down my face as I read several of her blogs back to back. I went from complete anger to total shame and a real sense of guilt for what I had done. How could someone, especially one who proclaims to be a Christian, have left a beautiful woman and two awesome kids with such pain and with such terrible feelings? While I didn't want to answer, I knew how- the lust of the flesh. My selfish motives had blinded me, and driven me to fulfill them and abandon the ones I loved. I had fallen and I had devastated and wrecked the one most precious thing in my life- my family.
Isn't it amazing how God used what my wife was fearful to share, to point me to Him? He knew what it would take for me to fully see the consequences of my sin, and He led her to write exactly what was needed in order to rescue me. That's God- He works in ways that at times, astound me! I am so thankful He gave her the gift of writing this blog, created to help others, but was also the source that led me straight into the arms of my Savior, and ultimately, home! Our prayer is that you may know this same God- One so interested in you! Oh, how He loves us!
For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13 ESV
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 ESV
The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him. Nahum 1:7 ESV
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. Romans 8:26 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your Spirit Who convicts us of our sin and calls us into Your presence. We will never find true joy, peace and contentment outside of Your will. Forgive me, Father, for the many times I seek pleasure from my sinful desires, forgetting how only You can fill me, Lord. Help me to guard myself against Satan by arming myself with Your Word. Keep my feet on the path that leads to life, and may I always turn from wandering from You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
I had grown cold in my Christian walk. I was still going to my place of worship, I was still participating and even in a leadership role and at times, I was moved by the Spirit to be warm for Christ, but I was lukewarm at best. Satan saw the chance and knew exactly what it would take to cut me down and wreck my life, and he moved swiftly, and with boldness.
I had developed a friendship with a co-worker that turned into a temptation. This temptation was far more than I would ever have wanted in the past, but in my weakened state, I fell. I lied to the people that I loved the most, I did things behind their back that gnawed at the heart of what I stood for- honesty, integrity and loyalty. I was unfaithful to my family, I cheated on my wife and I lost the respect of my close friends. During all of this, Satan kept whispering lies, telling me this is what I really wanted in order to be happy. He was filling my heart with lies and he was continually telling me this was a good thing. I wanted to believe it, but I also knew in my core being that this was not right and was totally against what i believed and had been raised to be.
This is when Satan dropped my biggest challenge- he lied and told me I had gone too far to ever be restored. He said it was too late for me and that I was forever scarred and useless in God's work. I was struggling with being able to accept God's grace. I had been forgiven years ago when I was first saved, told others about God's abundant grace that He shows to all who call out to Him, and here I was - refusing to accept it and break free of my chains.
I want to fast forward to January of 2019. I had left my wife and family for the 2nd time just after Christmas, and my plan was for this to be the final departure. I knew this was going to be it and I would move on and divorce- it would be hard, but manageable. So many others chose this path and surely I could handle it as well. I tried to make it as easy as possible on my wife, but I left.
I spent New Year's being unfaithful and actually miserable. I had so much conflict in my heart that I can say it was the worst New Year's I had ever had. I got back to North Carolina on New Year's night and went to work the following day and the conflict began to intensify. It got to the point where I made the decision to break off the relationship with the woman I thought would make me happy. Satan had told me that would be difficult, but I prayed to God to help me do this quickly and for it to be forever done. God prevailed in this, and I was so thankful.
Whatever you're facing in life today, listen to the Voice of the Spirit. He will lead you to life and peace, while Satan will whisper lies to derail and defeat you. I am thankful to serve a God that doesn't turn His back on His own. We turn our backs on Him, yet He remains loving and faithful to us. I will always be thankful to the Lord for His persistence in dealing with me. He is a God Who invests in our lives- and He seeks to deliver us from sin. Will we open our hearts to Him, or listen to the lies of Satan? The choice lies on us- choose well!
Where shall I go from you Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! Psalm 139:7-8 ESV
The LORD you God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, no matter where we are or where we go, You promise to be with us. We can't outrun You, nor can we hide from You. I'm so thankful for Your persistence and Your faithfulness- without both, I would be lost. Help us to listen for Your voice, and that it would always be louder than the evil whispers of Satan. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
I think of the phrase, "new year, new you", and this year, that couldn't be more true. Oh the changes of the past year... and how those changes changed me! Here I was looking forward into 2019 with a whole different life situation- some good, some heartbreaking. While I had grown closer to the Lord, deepened my relationships with my children, started my own business, and began this blog journey, I was also looking at a possible divorce and the absence of my favorite person.
There were definite things I wanted to celebrate, and others I wished to forget. And just as with NYE, I didn't want to face the same traditions we had celebrated in past years and longed for something different. I know some of my family members didn't understand, but I could not do my usual hosting of New Year's Day, or anything remotely similar. It's a hard thing to try to explain to someone who hasn't been there, but "different" was absolutely necessary.
In the past, I had my whole family over for an Italian meal, games, strategizing for our family diet for the next few months, and just enjoying one another's company. It had always been something I enjoyed, but I was ready for a change. My kids were supportive of "something new", and we ended up celebrating in a really fun way, and had a really fun day! We spent a few hours at Top Golf, which by the way, I'm not too good at;) But hey- I think I may have a future at honing this new skill! Then we headed off for a couple hours of shopping and a nice dinner out. My kids made me laugh, and at times, I forgot my sadness. Kids are good for bringing a smile or a laugh when we need one the most.
While I knew my husband was off celebrating in a different place, I didn't know that God was working in his heart to begin something absolutely amazing. And so while this day was a different day, with a different perspective and outlook, very soon God would do something that could only point to His absolute faithfulness and power. But in this new moment, of this new year, there were changes in me that only God could bring about, and for them, I am thankful.
If you take your loved ones or your marriage for granted, I want you to take this moment to appreciate them. Tomorrow is not guaranteed- not the people we love or the marriage we have. And take this moment to appreciate the God Who delivers us from our worst moments, and brings us into victory. This isn't victory we have won for ourselves- but victory He gives through His miraculous work. And when we experience that victory, the most powerful thing we see through it is God's glory. Thank You dear Jesus for seeking victory in not only my marriage, but my life! Help me to remember that through it all, it isn't about me, Lord- it's all about You! When all is said and done, and my body is laid to rest, I hope there is this one thing remembered about my life- the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father and how His glory was revealed in my life.
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 ESV
For the word of the LORD is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness. Psalm 33:4 ESV
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV
O LORD GOd of hosts, who is mighty as you are, O LORD, with your faithfulness all around you? Psalm 89:8 ESV
He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and a buckler. Psalm 91:4 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, You faithfully deliver us from our fiery trials in Your time, not ours. You walked alongside me through my most painful days, never leaving me when life got tough. Your faithfulness and power give so much hope and encouragement and when I walk through the gates of victory, may others recognize the Author of my victory. Thank You for fighting for me, Father. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Relationships are riddled with ultimatums. We give them often to our kids. There are consequences for not listening to our instruction. We tell our kids to clean their rooms, do their homework, improve their attitude, or use shampoo this time when they shower (have you been there?) . If they don't listen, there will be punishment for ignoring our request. There are good reasons for these ultimatums, because we are building our little ones into responsible, respectable adults. It's a process with a lot of trial and error, but with consistent effort, it will pay off.
Ultimatums get a little stickier in marriage relationships. Because the bottom line is, we are often trying to change our spouse to suit our needs or wants. Our ultimatums may come across a little less obvious. We may pout if we don't get the attention we desire. We may yell or belittle if we don't see eye to eye on an issue. We may withhold sex if we are angry over an offense. Our ultimatums in this realm, fall into being selfish, rather than molding character or behavior.
But some ultimatums have their place in a marriage. Certain behaviors aren't acceptable, and if they continue, the marriage will possibly not be able to survive. Like infidelity. This behavior must stop in order for a marriage to have a chance. Some people may immediately close the door to a cheating spouse, and never look back. It's because infidelity is a very serious offense, and must be dealt with. It causes pain, insecurity, and unbelievable heartache.
During the process of dealing with infidelity in my own marriage, I have to confess something I am not proud of- I gave God ultimatums. I said things like, "God, please fix this fast, because I can't take this anymore." Or, "God, please remove this woman so he is no longer tempted by her." Instead of giving God ultimatums, I should have stated my heart, and let Him do His thing- whatever that was. I was ultimately asking God for changes to eliminate our weaknesses, and not allowing His strength to overcome them. God forgive me for trying to boss You around!
Certain situations in life will require us to give ultimatums. But it is still my prayer, that when the behavior and heart has changed, grace will follow! Whether it is my children that need it, or my husband, I want to be characterized as being a woman of grace and forgiveness. Many times I fail at this, but being able to offer grace to someone who needs it, is an opportunity to pay forward what Christ has done for me!
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. Romans 12:17 ESV
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. Galatians 6:7 ESV
For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. James 2:10 ESV
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me be wise with ultimatums. Help me to season them with grace and understanding, but to stand for truth. Forgive my selfish demands that You follow through on my wishes, in my time, and help me instead to have faith in Your ability to handle any crisis. I thank You, Lord, for always hearing my prayers, and forgiving my shortcomings. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Have you ever sat your child down, and warned them about a certain behavior, explaining the consequences that could come from failing to listen? I know I sure have. If your kids are like mine, they likely told you, "Mom, don't worry, I wouldn't do that." My kids are no longer little, but sometimes I still sit them down and give them advice. And still, most times they will reassure me I don't have to worry about them. But with age comes wisdom, and I know the hearts of us sinful humans- we often have the best intentions of not falling or failing, but we aren't fail-proof.
This brings me to a story about Peter found in Luke 22. Peter loved Jesus, and was one of His twelve disciples. He left everything he had to serve and follow Him. And while Peter did some pretty great things, he was still just human, capable of messing up. Jesus knew it, and He knows it about me, too! While they were sitting together, Jesus told Peter he would betray Him- not once, but three times. And just like my own kids, Peter doubted this could be true of him. He passionately argued that it couldn't be so- he said, "Lord, I would go with you to both prison, and to death." (Luke 22:33 ESV). He was basically saying, "NO WAY! I would go to prison for You, and I would die for You. I would never deny You." But we know the rest of the story, and we know that he does indeed deny Him three times. We also know how full of sadness and sorrow he was, when he realized what he had done. He never would've believed it possible, but God knows our hearts.
What have you denied was possible for you? I am confident that had my husband been warned of the consequences of being unfaithful, he would have reassured whoever was speaking with him. He would have told them not to worry, it wouldn't happen to him. We don't often see the truth of our weakness, and don't believe our sinful nature is really as ugly as it is. We think we are better and stronger than we naturally are.
There are things I have sworn I would never do- and I can tell you, I've done them. It's easy to shake our heads in shame at those who fall, and fail to see there is the same capacity within me. While it never excuses infidelity, or any other sin, it does help us to understand we are all fallible people- people that need God to be our strength and His Spirit to be our conscience. I pray for eyes and a heart like Jesus, and if I see someone who falls to sin, that I'll reach out my hand to help them up, rather than shake my head and walk away! Just as Peter went on to do great things for the kingdom of God after his betrayal of Jesus, so can anyone else! I love that our God gives second chances- I'm living proof of this wonderful truth!
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9 ESV
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 ESV
For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." Mark 7:21-23 ESV
I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, my heart is capable of sin and deceit. Help me to recognize that, and to follow You in my life, and not seek my own way. Help me to lift up my brothers and sisters that fall, and not turn my back on them. Help me to know that without Your leading, I could be in the same position myself. Jesus, we need You each moment of each day, in Your name I pray, Amen!
Life is like school. We may think we know most of what we need to know by the time we graduate college, but in reality, I knew little of what I needed to know at that point in life. Life is full of lessons- some are good and some are hard. But if we walk it, we need to get something out of it. If we don't, it was a wasted experience, and other experiences will follow until we get the point.
When bad things happen, we can get stuck in the cycle of asking "why". We won't always know why, and we might not understand the answer even if we did. "Why" makes me anxious and uptight, and even a little angry. Why did this happen? Why did it happen to me? Why was I allowed to experience this heartache? Why did he do it? Focusing on "why" isn't going to help me make progress. Friends, sometimes we don't get our answer, and even if we did, it won't change what happened.
When bad things do happen to us, and they will, we can look for what we have learned through the trial. If I have to experience a heartbreaking issue in my life, I want to learn from it. If I don't, shame on me. I don't want to learn cynicism from it, because that wouldn't be what God meant for me to learn. I don't want to learn bitterness from it, because that won't bring me to healing. I want to find the good things I learned as I walked that painful road, and use them to change me for the better.
Infidelity changed me. I don't take life for granted, and I don't take my marriage for granted. I appreciate the grace of God in a new way. I understand my own shortcomings I had failed to see before. I no longer underestimate the viciousness of Satan's attacks. I realize the importance of staying intimately connected to my Heavenly Father. My eyes were opened to the serious consequences of bad choices, made by parents, in the life of our children. I am humbled at the working of the Holy Spirit to restore and make new. I am overwhelmed with the comfort offered by Jesus in dark times. I am much more aware of our fallibility. And through His Spirit, I am stronger than I ever imagined.
Yes, life has many lessons. And when I am tested, I want to pass. And if I don't pass, I want an opportunity for test corrections. I want to learn good things from hard things. I want to grow through my trials, and not falter. I want to use my experiences to point others to Jesus. I want to be a light in a world full of darkness. And I want to keep learning, keep growing, and move past the "why", into something better- something that results in being more like my Savior.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, Philippians 3:13 ESV
Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. 1 Corinthians 10:11 ESV
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to learn good things from the bad experiences in life. Help keep me from bitterness and anger, and look for ways to use them to develop into someone more like You. May I use the trials I experience to grow and learn. And help me to remember how You carry me through them all. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
