I remember the good old days- the days when my son thought I hung the moon. "Mom, I'm gonna marry you when I get big", he'd say. Other nights, when I would tuck him in his bed, he would whisper "goodnight, mom. You're my favorite person in the whole world." That was before he grew up, and before Delanie. That's life in a child's world, where mom and dad held that number one place in the life of their little one. It's not that my son doesn't love me now, but he realized as he grew up that I'm just "mom", and I 'll never take the place of Who should be first in life. And he also realized he sure doesn't want to marry me, thank goodness!
But his naive misplaced view of me is a great picture of how we place value on relationships. Often, we get it wrong and we place the priority of our hearts on someone here. We love others more than we love God. I've had to question myself on this age old problem- who has the ultimate place of priority in my heart? Is it my kids? Is it my husband? Is it a boyfriend or fiancé? Is it a career or a substance? What gets top place in my affections and in my life? We can get a little turned around in love. We may romanticize loving someone more than anyone or anything. We may think we are loving the very best kind of love, but if we love them more than we love and serve God, we simply aren't.
The truth is, loving God helps us love everyone else so much better. God is love, and through Him, we learn how to love others. Healthy relationships are not based on how a person performs. When we learn to allow God's love for us redefine the way we love others, we free a person from being loved based on their qualifications. We all mess up, and we all make mistakes. If we love others first, we will eventually be let down by them and begin to question if we truly love one another. If we love God first, we will better understand that people are fallible, and can only love with human capacity- faulty at best. Understanding our own shortcomings, and how they don't disqualify us from God's great love for us, helps us pass it on to those we have a love relationship with.
There are many practical ways we can show that we love God first in our habits, attitudes, choices, and behaviors. Making God our top priority will have a cost, and considering what He did for us, any cost on our part is a privilege. Putting aside time for church, studying His Word, and spending time with Him are all ways we can express our love. But perhaps one of the best indicators of how well we love Him, will be in how we love others. Selflessly. Graciously. Fiercely. It's a no-strings attached kind of love. A love that has no limit or no exclusions. It's an all-in kind of love, with no exit clause.
So if you really want to love others well- love God first. Kick your spouse or your girlfriend, or children down a notch. By loving God more than you love them, you'll actually love them so much better. And they'll feel it. I know I feel the most secure when my husband loves God more than he loves me. And I love him the best when I allow God to have the priority of my heart. And when you do, His love will shine through you, spilling over into all your other relationships, allowing you to look more like Jesus. In a culture with a distorted view of love, we are given the opportunity to give fresh light on God's love to a watching world, when we love Him the most.
"You shall no have other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (ESV)
And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. Matthew 22:37-38 (ESV)
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Luke 12:34 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, I should easily love you more than others, and yet my heart is often not where it should be. I get distracted by earthly love- for my husband, for my kids, and even for this world. I lose sight of all You are, and all You've done, far too often. Help me to remember that by loving You most, I will love others so much better. In Your name, I pray Jesus, Amen!
If we could see our whole life picture ahead of us when we choose someone to marry, I wonder what we would do differently. If you saw your spouse, unfaithful in the future, would it change your choice? What if they were repeatedly unfaithful, and caused you a great deal of hurt? Wouldn't you want to run from what you saw, and choose differently? And what if God asked you to marry that person anyways, what would you think about that?
There is a book in our Bible called Hosea- it's one of the minor prophets in the cleaner part of your Bible;) Hosea was instructed, by God, to marry an unfaithful woman. It seems pretty ludicrous, that God would ask this of him, but He did. I love how Hosea was obedient, and didn't pitch a fit- he simply obeyed. Gomer was an unfaithful wife that surely caused a lot of heartache for Hosea. But God had a reason, as He always does for what He asks of us.
In Gomer, He saw me; and in Hosea, He saw Himself. By requesting that Hosea marry Gomer, He was allowing a picture of His immeasurable grace. I am the unfaithful one, when it comes to God. And time and time again, He takes me back because that is His character- a God of love and endless grace. It doesn't make sense to us that He would reach out to us every time we turn away from Him, because it is against our nature. We like to hold on to grudges, and refuse to give grace and compassion to those that have hurt us, but when we refuse to extend grace, we are saying our standards are higher than His.
The older I get, the more I realize God asks hard things of us, sometimes. But He never does it to cause us pain or harm, He does it out of love- to make me more like Him. God led me to this book of Hosea often after my husband left, and I knew He had a reason. It popped up in my devotions, it popped up in sermons, and it popped up in conversations. I couldn't argue that He was asking me to apply this story to my own marriage.
If you're struggling with extending grace to the one who has betrayed you, remind yourself of the grace God shows you. Hosea didn't partially obey, he chose to be obedient, and love his unfaithful wife. This is a hard thing for our hearts to comprehend, and sometimes, we don't quite make it there. Other times, we may not be given the opportunity to repair what has happened. But if you do have the opportunity, and if you're willing to be like Hosea, you have an opportunity to be a picture of God's love towards us. In any situation, grace is yours to offer- and in it, you'll find freedom!
And from his fullness we all have received, grace upon grace. John 1:16 ESV
You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, 2 Timothy 2:1 ESV
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. 2 Peter 3:18 ESV
But as you excel in everything- in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you- see that you excel in this act of grace also. 2 Corinthians 8:7 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to show grace like Hosea. In light of the grace You have shown me, I have no right to hold it back from others. Give me the strength to be liberal in extending it to those who have hurt me. I thank You for Your grace towards me, for it shows a love greater than I can understand. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
