Looking Ahead and Standing Guard

It's a New Year—2022! It seems hard to believe we are where we are, and that we've come through some really difficult years and face a new one with all its challenges ahead of us. While we've closed out 2021, we still have some of the same issues staring us in the face as we begin 2022. And yet among all of the challenges, we still serve the same Faithful God. But as we look ahead, it's great to take stock of where we are today, where we've been, and how we can do better tomorrow.  

There's much to be said about being committed and faithful to fulfilling our spiritual purpose, and yet Satan is no less interested today in manipulating our spiritual demise. The fact is, he's very good at what he does, and if we don't guard ourselves, we will fall spiritually. When we fall, every other area of our life will suffer. Our families will suffer, our marriage will suffer, our relationships will suffer and we will not be an employee or employer that exemplifies integrity or godliness. In no way is it true that as believers, we are promised an easy ride—that's called prosperity gospel, and is unscriptural at its core. But when we fail to guard ourselves and give in to Satan's temptations when life gets tough, it will dismantle us spiritually—affecting us and those we love. 

Perhaps one of the most powerful sermons I recently heard spoke of how it's a good practice to walk yourself mentally through a fall. Imagine yourself sitting down those you love and respect the most, confessing your failure to them—eye to eye, one by one. Imagine their response as they hear news that will disappoint them or break their hearts—and how it will break yours to see the pain caused by bad choices. It's an exercise that's sobering and frightening and helps us visualize the damage that comes from bad choices. And here's the honest truth—it's a possibility for every single one of us no matter our age or how long we've walked with Christ so we must be on guard. 

As we embark on a new year, it's a good time to reflect on our priorities. Where is the biggest chunk of my time spent? Who am I focused on the most? Am I being obedient to God's call on my life, and living to serve and please Him? Somedays, the answer may look much better than the next. And somedays, I feel pricked in my heart that its primary focus isn't first on Jesus. We don't set out to rearrange our priorities, it happens little by little and day by day in the choices we make. If we are too busy, we often cut out the most vital part of what we need spiritually—unhurried time with our Father in heaven. 

It's true that we've maneuvered through some pretty challenging years—years we couldn't have even begun to imagine. We've faced physical challenges, social challenges, emotional challenges and when you group all of those together, it can spill over into our spiritual health, crippling us and making us vulnerable to Satan's attacks against us. But I think one of the most precious truths we can hold on to is this: Jesus is the same—He never changes no matter what our circumstances may look like today. He's the same compassionate, grace-filled, loving Savior He was yesterday, last year, and even 1,000 years ago. Whatever we face this year, He's with us and He's for us.

As I think of 2022, I want to see my priorities balance out a little more than they've looked like previously. I want to stop living as a believer on auto pilot, going through the motions at times yet lacking spiritual fervor. I want to lay out further groundwork to protect my marriage, my family, my local church and the relationships I enjoy with family and friends. I want to acknowledge the propensity each day for slow steps in the wrong direction, and make corrections that will keep me on a path that pleases Christ. And should I live long enough to close out 2022, I pray that I'll see growth, development, enhanced relationships and harmony and joy in my home as I look back on the year. I pray I'll be committed to continually loving and better serving my husband, my family, my church family and most of all Jesus. And then I also pray that I'll strive for even more the following year so that each year, little by little, I'm starting to look a lot more like Him and a lot less like me. 

The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps (Proverbs 16:9, ESV).

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change (James 1:17, ESV).

His Hands and Feet

 It's a message we have heard many times within church walls—the commission to be the hands and feet of Jesus. In short, we are co-laborers with Christ which is quite a privilege. Who better to serve alongside than Jesus Christ? And yet the reality is, we allow so many things to distract us from sharing this responsibility with those hurting and in need of the gospel. We often are takers from others in active service for the Lord, and do not do our part in giving ourselves. In order to serve alongside Christ, we need to lay aside our own selfishness and desire for personal comfort. 

The Church is a place people are drawn to when they have a need. Sometimes, we judge the motives of those who come asking for money, groceries or help. We allow someone else to step in and help, but we feel most comfortable when it doesn't fall on us. But the reality is, the Church is a place people come for not only spiritual help, but a need they feel is more important. As believers, we know that the priority of Jesus was always meeting spiritual needs, but He often did that only after He addressed their physical needs. 

Take physical hunger, for example. Now I don't claim to understand real hunger even though I've been hungry, but for someone who is actually in serious need of food or water, their ability to think and reason is limited until that need is met. Or someone suffering from deep, searing burns on their body need pain management in order to think straight. Removing the discomfort allowed the people who came to Jesus to focus on what truly mattered—their spiritual need. 

Why is spiritual need the primary focus? The easiest way to answer this is because this need is the only need that transcends time. Physical discomfort is limited to our lifespan, but our spiritual need impacts our eternal destination. How foolish then to ignore our greatest need, brushing it aside for something less impactful. Jesus always sees past where we are now, to the place He wants us to be—in Heaven with Him for all eternity.

But back to being His hands and feet. In what ways has He called you to step in and actively meet the needs of others. Some may not have the finances to give money, but can instead offer their help. There are myriad of ways to step in and actively serve your part within the body of Christ. Perhaps the best place to start is to begin really seeing people. This means we not only watch, but listen. Only when we transfer focus from ourselves to others can we begin to see their needs. 

If you're like me, you have a natural fleshly desire toward selfishness. How seldom I give at personal cost to myself. Too many times, I give only after meeting my needs, and also most of the things I want. Because of this selfishness, I often miss the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus. 

We have a real need in our communities that are the responsibility of Christians to recognize and help meet. Whether it's a financial need, an emotional need, a spiritual need or a need for help, may we be willing to not only notice it, but to do something about it. I think in our moments of true generosity, Jesus allows us to experience a joy that no material possession can match. When we fulfill our purpose as believers, we fill ourselves with blessing. May we all be sensitive to the needs of others and actively pursue our purpose within the body of Christ.

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it (1 Corinthians 12:27, ESV).

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58, ESV).

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10, ESV).

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45, ESV)."

Dear Heavenly Father, give us eyes that see, and ears that hear. Then Lord, may we be willing to push aside our own selfishness and step in to be Your hands and feet. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Be an Encourager

 One of the most discouraging seasons of my life produced something infinitely valuable—those who stepped in as real encouragers to me. When you're down—really down, it's sometimes hard to muster the faith and courage within yourself to believe that somehow, you'll get through. You may have experienced circumstances that apart from God and His people, you have no doubt you would have hit the point of despair. And the reality is, we are rubbing shoulders with people this very day who are in similar circumstances; thick in the midst of their own personal trials and tragedy. It's easy to think you aren't the person to help, hoping someone else is more equipped for the task, but if you know of a need, at the very least, we can be their encouragers.

When my marriage fell apart back in 2017, a handful of people immediately come to mind who made that period of pain and heartache better, because they cared for me through their actions and words. While I was tempted often to hide away in the safety of my home, there were those who encouraged me to get up, and get out. If I missed an event or a church service, what I didn't need to hear were these words: "Where were you?, we missed you (which generally just meant why wasn't I where I was expected to be)." What I did need to hear were encouraging words like: "we are so thankful to see you today—I can imagine it must be hard to come, but we are so happy you did." The words we say to those who are hurting or spiritually struggling are so impactful, and because of that, we need to use the utmost care in how we speak.

We also can be encouragers to those who are spiritually struggling, rather than use words to bully them into biblical compliance. We can treat them in any of these three ways: indifference, unkindness that borders on threatening, or loving encouragement. As Christians, the only real choice should be number three, and anything other than the third choice will not bring about real spiritual change at the heart level. One of the best ways to look at this is through an example.

Eric grew up in a christian home, often in church services with two loving, godly parents. As Eric got older and made his own choices, he started down the wrong path, with the wrong friends, and his attendance became sporadic, at best, at his local church. One morning, he woke up and decided to go to church. When he walked in, he was tense, expecting people to question him and give him a hard time. Instead, an older man who was close to his Dad, came over and gave him a big hug. "Eric, how great to see you today! I was just praying for you last night, and thanking God for you and the blessing you are to all of us. I'd love to take you to lunch today, and catch up on all that's happening in your life. I've heard you're doing well in school, and I'd love to hear about your baseball season." Eric was greatly encouraged by this gentleman, and agreed to meet him for lunch. A door was opened for communication and connection through this man's love and encouragement.

Now Eric may be a made up story, but there are thousands of Erics around—and some of them may be in your circle of connections. You can choose to chastise his behavior, and further his discouragement, alienating him from God and His people. Or you can be someone who steps up to the plate and offers words that have power to touch the hearts of the lost or the hurting—possibly even bringing the wanderer back to the fold. There are so many things around us in this strange year of 2020 that may cause stress, anxiety and discouragement. There are also many discouragers out there—people who seemingly enjoy putting people down. As God's children, may that never be true of us. 

May we truly open our eyes to the people around us and when we see someone in need of encouragement, be there for them. Love them unconditionally. Trust that God will use you in ways you may never know the extent of, and that your willingness to encourage will be infectious to other believers following your example. As the body of Christ, it is our responsibility to look to the needs of others, and step in to help when we see a brother or sister who needs us.

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing (1 Thessalonians 5:11, ESV).

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29, ESV).

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2, ESV).

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver (Proverbs 25:11, ESV).

Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered (Proverbs 11:25, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, open our eyes to those around us who need encouragement and give us a heart of compassion for them. May we offer words that are like medicine to a wounded soul, and help build up the body of Christ. In Your name we pray, Amen!

God Hates

     The church has been remiss lately, to properly teach who God really is. We are comfortable with God's grace, speak easily of His love and forgiveness, and encourage others with His words of mercy and kindness. We easily share this message of Jesus with others, yet shy away from the rest of the story. But when we don't tell the whole story, the half we are comfortable with causes other to have a false idea of the gospel-one that fails to show their real need of redemption. The truth is, there are things that God hates, and when we understand that we all are guilty before Him, we can appreciate His purpose of coming to save us. 
     While it's true that God is love, we cannot soften the message of Jesus by forgetting the very things scripture tells us He hates. Solomon writes of seven things God hates in the book of Proverbs. God hates pride, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift at running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among others. (See Proverbs 6:16-19). And when each of us is honest, we are guilty before God. Churches are failing to proclaim this message, and instead, feed their flock messages that make them feel good about themselves.
This failure has led many to fall into the delusion of spiritual safety when in fact, their need has never been recognized.
     If we were good people, God would not have had to send His perfect, holy Son to the world to die for us. It would have been a waste and completely unnecessary, yet God never does anything without a clear purpose. Our generation enjoys sin, and I don't think this is a new concept. Sin gives us a season of pleasure, and we want to excuse our actions because we don't want to stop them. We also don't want to face the fact that our behavior requires reconciliation with God. If you attend a place of worship that is failing to teach the truth about the need for redemption from sin, the message being taught is inaccurate and deceptive. If you attend a place that preaches of sin and the consequence for it, including the good news of the Cross, thank God you are in a place sharing the whole message of Jesus.
     Our world wants a sin tolerant God. We make excuses for sinful behavior, claiming God's love for all, as a way to reconcile our choices. The truth is, God does love each person, regardless of our behavior. But the flip side is that God hates sin. Scripture is clear about what sin is, and how God feels about it. God's Word is not open to negotiation, and what was recorded in His Word is no less relevant today. Satan has been masterful in infiltrating the message and hearts of God's people with a disconnection from the true state of each of us before a Holy God. The sobering truth is that our failure to reconcile our sin before God results in an eternity in hell. It's a message that makes us squirm. It isn't a feel good message, but the gospel is.
     We can't share the truth about what God hates without remembering what He loves-He loves us! Our sin is only a temporary barrier when we allow God's grace to remove it from us through His sacrifice at Calvary. His blood cleanses us from our sin, removing the punishment for the sins He hates. God's love transforms us, bringing us out of spiritual darkness into light! And when we realize the depravity of our hearts, we have such a deeper appreciation of God's sacrifice! Yes, we need saving, but thank God He made a bridge through the blood of Jesus! Let's be responsible with sharing the whole message of Jesus-not shying away from the truth of our real need for rescue!

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23, ESV).
For we all must appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil (2 Corinthians 5:10, ESV).
Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out (Acts 3:19, ESV),
And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire (Revelation 20:15, ESV).

Dear heavenly Father, give us courage to share the whole message of Your gospel, and the need we have of redemption from sin. May we speak an accurate message filled with Your truth, and may we see it transform the lives of the lost. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     

Is Covid19 dividing God's People?

     The more time I spend on social media these days, the more discouraged I feel. Not only is our country at war-over this virus and racism, but the church is also experiencing division based on the handling of these sensitive issues. From the wearing, or not wearing, of masks, to the decision of how we should be worshipping, and to the outrage over racial comments, it's clear that we are under attack from no other than Satan. The church has always been his target- that isn't news to us, but the way this whole thing is going down is very concerning to many of us.
     I've never seen a people so bent on their freedom of doing whatever it is they want to do. Government mandates mean nothing these days, and there is little to be done about those who wish to violate the orders given to us. As christians, this should shame us. "Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God" (Romans 13:1). When we consider this scripture, we should be convicted to follow the mandates set before us by our governing authorities, and by obeying them, we please our God. If we are asked to wear a mask, then wearing one is pleasing to God, and considerate of our fellow believers and the watching world.
     We also have the authority of our church leaders to consider. My prayer, and my hope is that each leader is gleaning the opinions and desires of each one of their sheep. Decisions should not be based on personal opinions, but for the good of the whole body under their authority. Be sensitive to the issues at hand. Be mindful of the safety of the flock. By taking each person's thoughts and feelings into consideration, your sheep are so much happier to follow you. Many an issue has divided churches, and this one seems like one of the bigger issues we have faced in recent years. "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you" (Hebrews 13:7). Our church leaders are facing big decisions-we must respect them. 
     Ever since the Garden of Eden, Satan has been out to destroy anything that will bring glory to God. It causes my heart to shudder when I think of how thrilled he must be as he watches us deal with the situations at hand. Brother turning on brother. People refusing to worship. Leaders refusing to make their church a safe place. People refusing to follow the mandates of our government. Hurt feelings. Selfishness. Pride. Saints withdrawing from the fellowship of other believers. Fear. Paranoia. Anger. God-help us see You in the middle of all of this, beckoning us to follow You through it all. Help us to recognize the selfishness and pride in our own hearts, and abandon anything that divides God's people. Help us to toss out our own agenda, and remember the importance of seeking to live out Your purpose in our lives. Help us to listen with compassion to others. Help us to lead by example, and be a bright testimony bringing glory to our Heavenly Father.
     Father-forgive us for our straying hearts. Shine Your Light through the darkness and evil in the world around us. Help us to keep it out of the doors of Your individual testimonies. Deliver us from the attack of the evil one, and give us clear minds and hearts, willing to always build up and encourage others. You are a good Father, and we are Your people. We stray, and we fail You so often-but in this, we pray that our hearts would turn to You for direction. May each who watches us, see only You~ 

     
     

Forcing Penance Payment

     Exactly one month ago today, she had allowed a distraction to interfere with her driving. A crying baby in the backseat shifted her focus for one second- one little second, and it resulted in a costly car accident. Thankfully, she and the baby were both perfectly okay. However, their new family SUV had suffered moderate damage, putting them out a few thousand dollars and the inconvenience of being down a vehicle while it was being repaired. She gave an honest tear-filled apology, and a promise to pay more attention in the future. It was over- and it was the best she could do.
     As the weeks passed, he dropped comments. Things like "money wouldn't be as tight right now if you hadn't had that accident." And "be careful today and try to stay focused while you drive." He asked her for favors after reminding her of her mistake. He mentioned it around a co-worker, and he teased her about her driving skills. And every single action and word revealed a simple truth- he really hadn't forgiven her. Real forgiveness doesn't look like that. Because of her mistake, he was making her pay penance, and it really stunk. 
     I wish I could say this was rare in relationships, but it's not. We tease. We bring up the past. We remind. We lecture. And each of these behaviors shows an unwillingness to truly forgive. Forgiveness that requires penance isn't real. And it reveals something else about us too- pride in self and insecurity. Some do this on some pretty obvious levels, and some do it less conspicuously. I've been guilty myself, of using a moment of confession as an opportunity to get my way. And when we think of how a marriage is to resemble a picture of Jesus and His church (all Christians), it makes us shrink back in shame. Because penance is the very opposite of what Jesus requires from us. 
     My mind goes back to my childhood, and a trip we took to Mexico City. As a young girl, I was stunned to see an older man crawling on the street toward the huge, ornate church building. He had pulled up his pant legs to allow the hot, cement pavement to burn and shred away the skin on his knees. I remembering just staring, feeling sad and asking my parents why he was doing this. I learned he was paying "penance" for his sin- hoping with this painful sacrifice, that he would receive forgiveness. And yet 2,000 years ago, the price for our sin was put away through the painful, substitutionary action of our Savior- Jesus. He paid for our sins with His own body on the cross, so that we would never have to pay the price for them. His gospel says this: "no penance required" on our part. 
     In light of His gift to us, it's so wrong that we often feel others owe us for their past mistakes. We feel they should be indebted, and are tempted to bring up their past behavior. Friends- God never does this with His own. He doesn't withhold love from us, simply because we sin against Him. My own life should mirror this same principle, when faced with hurtful actions of others. If they apologize (and even if they don't), no penance is required from them. And nothing on my end should make them feel they owe me for what they did in the past. If you're flinging up dirt from the past- especially in your marriage, can I encourage you to stop? If you truly have forgiven them- an action mirroring God's grace to us, then leave it in the past. Don't bring it up. Even when you really want to. Because when we can give them freedom for their mistakes, we find that we are a little bit more like Jesus- and that's the real goal. 

For by grace you have been saved, through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:9 (ESV)
For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more." Hebrews 8:12 (ESV)
"I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Isaiah 43:25 (ESV)
"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Matthew 5:7 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, it's so easy for us to hold grudges, and to bring up the sins of others. We feel entitled because they have wronged us, and we remind them of the debt they owe us. Jesus- this behavior is completely unlike Yours. Help us to change our ways, and truly forgive and let it go. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Who's Your #1?

     I remember the good old days- the days when my son thought I hung the moon. "Mom, I'm gonna marry you when I get big", he'd say. Other nights, when I would tuck him in his bed, he would whisper "goodnight, mom. You're my favorite person in the whole world." That was before he grew up, and before Delanie. That's life in a child's world, where mom and dad held that number one place in the life of their little one. It's not that my son doesn't love me now, but he realized as he grew up that I'm just "mom", and I 'll never take the place of Who should be first in life. And he also realized he sure doesn't want to marry me, thank goodness!
     But his naive misplaced view of me is a great picture of how we place value on relationships. Often, we get it wrong and we place the priority of our hearts on someone here. We love others more than we love God. I've had to question myself on this age old problem- who has the ultimate place of priority in my heart? Is it my kids? Is it my husband? Is it a boyfriend or fiancé? Is it a career or a substance? What gets top place in my affections and in my life? We can get a little turned around in love. We may romanticize loving someone more than anyone or anything. We may think we are loving the very best kind of love, but if we love them more than we love and serve God, we simply aren't.
     The truth is, loving God helps us love everyone else so much better. God is love, and through Him, we learn how to love others. Healthy relationships are not based on how a person performs. When we learn to allow God's love for us redefine the way we love others, we free a person from being loved based on their qualifications. We all mess up, and we all make mistakes. If we love others first, we will eventually be let down by them and begin to question if we truly love one another. If we love God first, we will better understand that people are fallible, and can only love with human capacity- faulty at best. Understanding our own shortcomings, and how they don't disqualify us from God's great love for us, helps us pass it on to those we have a love relationship with.
     There are many practical ways we can show that we love God first in our habits, attitudes, choices, and behaviors. Making God our top priority will have a cost, and considering what He did for us, any cost on our part is a privilege. Putting aside time for church, studying His Word, and spending time with Him are all ways we can express our love. But perhaps one of the best indicators of how well we love Him, will be in how we love others. Selflessly. Graciously. Fiercely. It's a no-strings attached kind of love. A love that has no limit or no exclusions. It's an all-in kind of love, with no exit clause. 
     So if you really want to love others well- love God first. Kick your spouse or your girlfriend, or children down a notch. By loving God more than you love them, you'll actually love them so much better. And they'll feel it. I know I feel the most secure when my husband loves God more than he loves me. And I love him the best when I allow God to have the priority of my heart. And when you do, His love will shine through you, spilling over into all your other relationships, allowing you to look more like Jesus. In a culture with a distorted view of love, we are given the opportunity to give fresh light on God's love to a watching world, when we love Him the most. 

"You shall no have other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 (ESV)
And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. Matthew 22:37-38 (ESV)
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Luke 12:34 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, I should easily love you more than others, and yet my heart is often not where it should be. I get distracted by earthly love- for my husband, for my kids, and even for this world. I lose sight of all You are, and all You've done, far too often. Help me to remember that by loving You most, I will love others so much better. In Your name, I pray Jesus, Amen!

     

Loving Away Needs

     It was a cold, drizzly Sunday evening. His family was hungry and he didn't have enough money to feed them. Big, hollow, sad eyes looked at him. He was the family leader- the provider, and he had failed them all. Disability had robbed him of his ability to aptly provide, and they were in debt up to their ears. They had three kids- all in the growing up stage of life, where they seemed to be able to eat endless supplies of food. He hated to do it- but the church down the street may be able to help them.
     He pulled in to the parking lot and saw the service was just getting underway. He kept his family in the car and made his way inside. Ashamed and nervous, he was approached by a couple of the men who obviously attended this place of worship. After stating his situation, he hated looking up into the eyes of these men who saw him possibly as a beggar- because that's what he felt like in this moment. The men asked him to take a seat and they stood a ways away from him. He could see them- dressed nice, apparently well-fed, and clean. What must they think of him? He once looked very much the same as they did- but life had taken a hard turn, and the rest was history. 
    The men seemed to make a decision and came his way. They told him they would follow him to the nearest grocery store and purchase groceries to feed his family. No questions. No statements about why he didn't have a job. No feelings of judgment- just a kindness he was desperate for. Why would they help a perfect stranger- one who hadn't darkened the door of a church for many years? What led them to open their pockets to people they had never met before, or knew nothing about? The man had an idea of the answer, though, which is why he had come to this place- God. His grandma had believed in Him, and she had lived a life of sacrifice. She helped anyone who seemed to need it, and some who didn't. And she had always told him this was what servants of Jesus should live like- because we should love like Jesus loved.
     Jesus says that everyone is our neighbor. Each person we see with a need- our neighbor! Each person with a longing to be loved- our neighbor! Each person in need of forgiveness and grace- our neighbor! When we really understand this concept, it makes it a lot easier to let go of grudges. It makes it easier to open our pockets, our hearts, and our arms to those in need. And if we refuse, or allow someone else to do it in our place, we lose. We lose the chance to love like Jesus.
     The holidays are here- a time of giving and loving. Sometimes, the ones around us with the greatest needs, are the ones we live with. They may need words of encouragement, white flags of surrender, an apology with no strings attached, a tank of gas, a hot meal, a listening ear, a warm hug, or the gift of forgiveness. And when we meet these needs, let's then look a little further out from our homes and families, and see what other needs we can meet. This is written to you, yes, but it's also for me. I can get so wrapped up in all the things I want, and miss the fact that I'm surrounded by people who have needs I could meet. Not all of them will require money- in fact, often, they just require me to notice and care. God help me to be more like You; to allow Your love to flow from me. There would be no greater blessing than to have it said of me- "she loved." 

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 (ESV)
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; Romans 13:10a (ESV)
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Luke 6:35 (ESV)
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, there are so many around us in need. Some may need material things, but some may only need love. Help us, Lord, to love like You do- generously, unconditionally, intentionally and faithfully. May this season be a time to lay down any differences, and reach out to those we may be struggling with. May we be characterized as people with Your heart- willing to meet the needs of those around us, and even those who aren't. In Your name we pray, Jesus, Amen!

Emergency Plans

     Driving down the road today, I saw a billboard that spoke to me. Not really for what it was intended for, but it stood out all the same. I was driving to Hobby Lobby, (because who doesn't just love that store?), when I saw a sign urging us to have an emergency plan in place. The sign simply said : Don't wait. Communicate! Make your emergency plan. The sign featured a home in ruins, likely from storm or fire damage. It's a very practical call to speak with our families about safety plans before disaster strikes. What a great reminder, and one we should follow. I found this sign to be important and relevant- but my mind went to storms that are not as physical in nature.
     American families today are the busiest they've ever been. Our kids play sports. Travel teams are all the rage- we want them to have the best training, but there is a cost. They dance. They play piano. We run them to gymnastics. There are countless school events we must attend. Social media wars for our attention. Many families have both parents working- building our careers demands time. Church responsibilities are important, and we try to attend each service or event. Dinner tables, with all family members present, are few and far between. We shove a million little things into each day, then collapse at the end; exhausted and disconnected from the most important things- our marriages, our families, and God. We simply don't have time anymore, and it's a heartbreaking trend.
     People have asked me, "Ruth, what led to the breakdown of your marriage? What went wrong?" One of the most painful and surprising answers is this- we simply were too busy to properly communicate. This causes a disconnect that is easy to miss at first, but becomes increasingly dangerous over time. Can I urge you, dear friends and readers- invest in your families, invest in your children, but never at the expense of your marriage. It is vital to allow open spaces of time to just enjoy the company of your spouse. This is impossible if you cram your day full of activity.
     If you're like the average American, you're likely swamped. You don't really have the time to enjoy with your spouse, the way you should. It sounds nice, but where can you squeeze that into your already full schedule? If there is one lesson my husband and I have learned in this phase of a restored marriage, it's learning to say no. We don't have to do everything. We don't need to be everywhere, at everything. Our kids don't have to do all the things. But what we do need, is to preserve "us". If we allow our communication to suffer, our marriage will suffer. So today, make an emergency plan. You don't want to be like that picture of a house destroyed. Today, in this moment, take every step possible to communicate regularly with your spouse and your children. Satan wishes to begin the process of destruction in our marriages- in fact, he may have already started with yours. What will you do about it? Don't turn a blind eye, and refuse to acknowledge the war against us. Say no. Stay home. Sit down together and just talk. Say, "I love you". Touch one another. Tear down the walls that you've built up from over-committing. It's war- one you can win, with God's help, and a simple plan to be available and engaged in one another's lives.  

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 ESV
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV
Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. Proverbs 23:4 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive us for allowing so much into our lives, that we are putting our marriages, family and our relationship with You, in jeopardy. Equip us with the will to say "no", and invest in what really matters. Thank You, Father, for giving us our families, but give us wisdom in what we allow in them. It's so easy to fall into the trap Satan has laid out for our relationships, and find ourselves empty, dissatisfied and disconnected. Open our eyes, Lord, and may we really see the cost of our choices. In Your precious name we pray, Amen!

Why we Need the Family of God in Times of Crisis

     As little tiny kids, we exercised our independence by saying, "I can do it myself." Being self-sufficient is looked on as a strong character trait. We like to think we don't need others, and can do whatever comes our way on our own. But that isn't how God created us. We were never meant to do life on our own. God knew we were creatures who would fare much better enjoying relationships, and fellowship. 
     Last January, when my husband left home, I was completely wrecked. It is the only time in my life where the word 'despair' was a reality for me. I couldn't sleep, eat, think straight, or concentrate. It was the darkest time in my christian journey to date. I have no idea how I would have survived apart from the fellowship of the precious ones I worship with, and my Heavenly Father. These loving souls brought over food, flowers, chocolate, stuffed animals, prayers, and conversation. They cried with me- Kleenex cries, where there are too many tears for a hand swipe. They texted me, called me, and just plain loved on me. And I desperately needed it.
     No, God didn't intend for us to travel life's journey alone. If you are struggling, hurting and trying to do it yourself, can I encourage you to reach out to fellow believers? Don't let pride or fear hold you back. Just as God lavishes His grace on us, we will find it in those who love Him, and serve Him. Initially, I wanted to hide from other Christians, because I felt like a failure. I felt ashamed that I wasn't a good enough wife (Satan's words to me), resulting in a failed marriage. Satan wanted to use any lie he could whisper to keep me out of the 4 walls of my local church testimony. Because he knows... he knows that in those walls I will find compassion, love, and encouragement. I will find purpose, service and grace. I will be encouraged to exercise my spiritual gifts to the fullest. And when I find those things, Satan's voice gets quieter, and God's gets louder. 
     I have felt God's presence in a hug from a friend, a tear-filled prayer, and a casserole. God's Spirit is within those He has redeemed, and it's beautiful. The family of God is such a blessing, and our local church testimony is a safe place from the harsh, cynical, sinful world we live in. It is a place of refreshment, and I am privileged to be there. Don't push other Christians away in times of crisis, dear friends. God wants to use them to minister to your needs, so let them minister to you. 

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some. But encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:25 ESV
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 ESV
For where two are three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." Matthew 18:20 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for creating fellowship and for the comfort and joy, and accountability it offers me. Help me to lean on other fellow believers when I am weak and discouraged, and to offer it to others when they are in need. I thank You for the privilege of being a part of the family of God. Help me to accept help and hope from the wisdom of my church family. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!