Extravagant Worshipper

 In my reading this week, I was touched by the act of Mary's extravagant gift to Jesus—the gift of perfumed ointment. She sat at the feet of Jesus and poured out a whole bottle of very expensive oil on His feet, weeping as she did so. She used her hair to wipe the oil from His feet, and here's the thing—she used the whole container on Jesus.

We read in Scripture that this ointment was costly. How much are we talking here? It says it was worth about 300 pence which would equal the salary for almost an entire year of wages. Now if we convert this into modern currency, depending on whose math you choose to go with (there are many opinions), you're looking at a price tag of somewhere between $15,00 and $56,000 for this alabaster box of nard. That's a lot of money! Which brings this Bible verse to mind:

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21, ESV).

Our spending history reveals our hearts. This truth weighs heavily on me, revealing a lack in my heart for loving the LORD wholeheartedly. I hold back, and this is reflected in my spending which is why I know deep within my heart that I would only have used a little of that nard on Jesus and reserved the rest for another use. I'm unsettled by that truth and personally find it uncomfortable. I would love to think I would pour it all out on Jesus but I know myself well enough to know better.

What is it that may be holding you back from this type of extravagance? Maybe you would pour it all out, and if so, I want to be more like you. Or maybe like me, you would feel pretty accomplished and happy with yourself for giving a little bit of something so unbelievably expensive, thinking it was a sacrificial offering—but Jesus would know the truth. 

Mary's love for Jesus was evidenced in this act of worship. She didn't hold anything back from Him—she gave Him all of it. This shows her heart for Jesus, and how she properly understood His place in her life. Money wasn't greater than Him—she placed her own wants and needs under her worship of Him. Mary was a worshipper and this scene in Scripture gives us a front row seat to what that looks like.

God doesn't ask us to give gifts with a certain price tag, He just asks for our hearts. Not in part—but our whole heart. He is truly worthy of my heart and it saddens me to think of how often I reserve parts of it for other people or stuff. I don't do it intentionally, but when I stop to evaluate my own heart alongside the heart of Mary, I see myself falling far short. It's not wrong to love other people—in fact, as believers, we certainly should. But God should have the place of priority in my life and should be on the throne of my heart.

As I've thought of Mary's gift this week, it's humbled me. It's made me realize how far I fall short in my worship of Christ. I want to be more like Mary, yet the temptation to indulge myself often stands in the way. Jesus doesn't deserve being pushed down the totem pole while I place lesser things above Him. He is the Everlasting LORD—the King of kings. And all He asks of me is to love Him wholeheartedly. May that become more a more a reality in my heart and may it be reflected in my worship. 

If we want to be worshippers, we will have to remove the gods we place above Jesus—gods that have familiar names like money, comfort, materialism, sexual pleasure, food, and other worldly temptations. None of those will bring us the joy and satisfaction found in worshipping the only true God—Jesus. May our hearts be touched with how great His love is for us, and in return, may we worship Him with our whole hearts—hearts like Mary's. 

 

Changes

     Changes- I generally find them uncomfortable and often resist them. When the clock changes in the spring and fall, I can't say I like those changes; they leave me tired and disoriented. I don't like the changes my body is going through as it transitions from young to old- things feel stiffer, grayer, flabbier, foggier, and wrinklier. And then there are the changes that come through phases of life- parenting has changed a lot for me in the past 20 plus years. From diapers, to science projects to swim meets to "where are my kids?", so many changes along the way. But when it comes to a marriage that was impacted by infidelity, changes must happen, and usually these are changes for the better; these changes I embrace and rejoice over.
     The result of a broken person is one who is forever changed. I wrote a little about that in the blog post titled Broken. I'm so glad to be able to blog about these changes, as many who may not personally know us, likely have some incorrect assumptions of who we really are. One of my favorite changes was the willingness and work towards being completely open- no secrets, no "off limits" subjects, no lies. This was a necessary change toward a healthier marriage and one where trust could begin growing again. We are now able to discuss almost any topic without feeling walls and barriers. Of course there are some that will take time as they are areas that are very raw and painful. But I appreciate this new openness, and without it, would find moving forward very difficult.
     The other crucial, major change was spiritual in nature. We now thoroughly enjoy sharing devotions and prayer time to start our day, and to end our day. As Christians, we believe that arming ourselves with scripture is the most powerful safeguard available to us- why not use it? These are my favorite moments spent together in our day, and through them, God is restoring us as a couple. In the past few years, we also had devotion time, but it lacked heart and sincerity which I believe greatly opened us up to Satan's attack against us. I highly recommend spending time with your spouse, sharing scripture and prayer. This is one of the highest forms of intimacy and greatly enriches our relationship.
     Accountability has been another change that was necessary in order for our marriage to heal and grow. Whether it's sharing phone location, being open and honest about one another, or sharing the details of our day, being accountable to one another is imperative post-adultery. Rebuilding a marriage may be hard work, but the payoff is huge. I love a devotion my husband recently shared with me. It was centered around accountability to God for our marriage. One day, we will stand before Him and give account of our marriage- how we treated one another, how we served Him together, and so much more! God cares about our marriages, and will willingly assist us in rebuilding after the damage of a storm. I'm so thankful He cares- so much more than I can even begin to understand. And I am ever so grateful for the changes I see in our marriage in this new phase of our lives, and we appreciate your prayers as we work to make it a beautiful offering to present back to our Heavenly Father! 

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2 ESV
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, our marriage needed change, and I thank You for opening our hearts to change in areas where it was most needed. Help any others who may be stuck in unhealthy patterns to courageously face them, seek ways to improve them, and making the necessary changes. We are creatures of habit and selfish at best, and yet You call us to something better. Lord, help us do the work required to present our marriage to You one day, knowing we can offer it as a treasure. Help us live lives that seek to honor You in all we do. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!