His Hands and Feet

 It's a message we have heard many times within church walls—the commission to be the hands and feet of Jesus. In short, we are co-laborers with Christ which is quite a privilege. Who better to serve alongside than Jesus Christ? And yet the reality is, we allow so many things to distract us from sharing this responsibility with those hurting and in need of the gospel. We often are takers from others in active service for the Lord, and do not do our part in giving ourselves. In order to serve alongside Christ, we need to lay aside our own selfishness and desire for personal comfort. 

The Church is a place people are drawn to when they have a need. Sometimes, we judge the motives of those who come asking for money, groceries or help. We allow someone else to step in and help, but we feel most comfortable when it doesn't fall on us. But the reality is, the Church is a place people come for not only spiritual help, but a need they feel is more important. As believers, we know that the priority of Jesus was always meeting spiritual needs, but He often did that only after He addressed their physical needs. 

Take physical hunger, for example. Now I don't claim to understand real hunger even though I've been hungry, but for someone who is actually in serious need of food or water, their ability to think and reason is limited until that need is met. Or someone suffering from deep, searing burns on their body need pain management in order to think straight. Removing the discomfort allowed the people who came to Jesus to focus on what truly mattered—their spiritual need. 

Why is spiritual need the primary focus? The easiest way to answer this is because this need is the only need that transcends time. Physical discomfort is limited to our lifespan, but our spiritual need impacts our eternal destination. How foolish then to ignore our greatest need, brushing it aside for something less impactful. Jesus always sees past where we are now, to the place He wants us to be—in Heaven with Him for all eternity.

But back to being His hands and feet. In what ways has He called you to step in and actively meet the needs of others. Some may not have the finances to give money, but can instead offer their help. There are myriad of ways to step in and actively serve your part within the body of Christ. Perhaps the best place to start is to begin really seeing people. This means we not only watch, but listen. Only when we transfer focus from ourselves to others can we begin to see their needs. 

If you're like me, you have a natural fleshly desire toward selfishness. How seldom I give at personal cost to myself. Too many times, I give only after meeting my needs, and also most of the things I want. Because of this selfishness, I often miss the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus. 

We have a real need in our communities that are the responsibility of Christians to recognize and help meet. Whether it's a financial need, an emotional need, a spiritual need or a need for help, may we be willing to not only notice it, but to do something about it. I think in our moments of true generosity, Jesus allows us to experience a joy that no material possession can match. When we fulfill our purpose as believers, we fill ourselves with blessing. May we all be sensitive to the needs of others and actively pursue our purpose within the body of Christ.

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it (1 Corinthians 12:27, ESV).

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58, ESV).

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10, ESV).

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45, ESV)."

Dear Heavenly Father, give us eyes that see, and ears that hear. Then Lord, may we be willing to push aside our own selfishness and step in to be Your hands and feet. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Messy Me

          having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a 
          sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure
          heart, 1 peter 1:22 (esv)

     It was a busy morning- the kind of morning where you take a quick shower and put your wet hair up and throw on gym clothes. I had some errands to run and needed to stop by the store for a couple things while I was out. I usually take the extra time to dry and style my hair, but not today. While I was wandering around Walmart, I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen for years. I was tempted to dart around the aisle and escape, considering my look for the day, but I wasn't fast enough. I made excuses for my appearance and wished they had seen me on my better days. 
     Conversation catch up was light, including only the good things going on in our lives. We shared about our kids, where we lived, our spouses, and where we went to college. We smiled, and did our best to make the conversation one that was neat, clean, and tidy. Because that's what we feel the most comfortable with, isn't it? Can you imagine bumping into an acquaintance and actually telling them the truth about life? They would likely want to make a quick escape and even possibly feel sorry for me, if I were honest.
     Why do we feel the need to present the best version of ourselves to others? Are we afraid of being vulnerable and messy? Why do we put on the show that we live in a pain-free, perfect world? Why can't I be real with other people, letting them know that life has had its rough moments, without shame or embarrassment? The honest answer to that question unsettles me, because it points to one word- pride! 
     We often get wrapped up in being polished. We want the best clothes, good hair, pretty nails, and a nice ride- I'm no exception. I like to look my best, and be my best. Some days, I can almost pull it off, but most days, I'm messy. I don't necessarily mean on the outside as much as I mean inside of me. I say dumb things. I hurt people's feelings. I forget to pay attention to the person that feels left out. I make "mom mistakes." I gossip, even though I know it's wrong. I snap at my husband. I nag my kids. The truth is, the outside of me may look just fine, but the inside of me can be ugly. 
     Jesus isn't afraid of my mess. I may try to hide it from people, but I know God sees the truth of me. I can't fool Him with a polished exterior- scripture even tells us that God doesn't look on the outward appearance, He looks at our hearts. I may have it all together on the outside, but be falling apart on the inside- emotionally and spiritually. That's been true for me, more days than I care to recall. Hard days where pain, fear and insecurity were crippling me on the inside, yet I try to present a version of myself that isn't faulty. I'm thankful for those who really know me and can see past the facade. And I'm thankful that God loves me despite my failures.
     God has been working to remove the polished me, and replace me with a more authentic version of myself. I'm beginning to accept my imperfections, knowing God will use them in ways I never imagined. Being open about our messes, opens doors. I see the old me in so many others, especially Christians, that are still hiding. They have the outward appearance that everything is just perfect, yet inside, they're falling apart. I want to hug them and tell them it's okay to take off the mask and share their burdens. Are you afraid, friend, of sharing your heart- mess and all? I pray that God reminds me daily to have compassion for those who are brave enough to be vulnerable and open up, and that He gives me insight and wisdom to know when someone is hiding. Let's be genuine in a world full of knock-offs. God intends for us to be honest and real- may He give me the courage to live my imperfect life, and help me use my experiences to help others who may also be struggling. God loves "messy me", and He loves you too. No matter what. 

Changes

     Changes- I generally find them uncomfortable and often resist them. When the clock changes in the spring and fall, I can't say I like those changes; they leave me tired and disoriented. I don't like the changes my body is going through as it transitions from young to old- things feel stiffer, grayer, flabbier, foggier, and wrinklier. And then there are the changes that come through phases of life- parenting has changed a lot for me in the past 20 plus years. From diapers, to science projects to swim meets to "where are my kids?", so many changes along the way. But when it comes to a marriage that was impacted by infidelity, changes must happen, and usually these are changes for the better; these changes I embrace and rejoice over.
     The result of a broken person is one who is forever changed. I wrote a little about that in the blog post titled Broken. I'm so glad to be able to blog about these changes, as many who may not personally know us, likely have some incorrect assumptions of who we really are. One of my favorite changes was the willingness and work towards being completely open- no secrets, no "off limits" subjects, no lies. This was a necessary change toward a healthier marriage and one where trust could begin growing again. We are now able to discuss almost any topic without feeling walls and barriers. Of course there are some that will take time as they are areas that are very raw and painful. But I appreciate this new openness, and without it, would find moving forward very difficult.
     The other crucial, major change was spiritual in nature. We now thoroughly enjoy sharing devotions and prayer time to start our day, and to end our day. As Christians, we believe that arming ourselves with scripture is the most powerful safeguard available to us- why not use it? These are my favorite moments spent together in our day, and through them, God is restoring us as a couple. In the past few years, we also had devotion time, but it lacked heart and sincerity which I believe greatly opened us up to Satan's attack against us. I highly recommend spending time with your spouse, sharing scripture and prayer. This is one of the highest forms of intimacy and greatly enriches our relationship.
     Accountability has been another change that was necessary in order for our marriage to heal and grow. Whether it's sharing phone location, being open and honest about one another, or sharing the details of our day, being accountable to one another is imperative post-adultery. Rebuilding a marriage may be hard work, but the payoff is huge. I love a devotion my husband recently shared with me. It was centered around accountability to God for our marriage. One day, we will stand before Him and give account of our marriage- how we treated one another, how we served Him together, and so much more! God cares about our marriages, and will willingly assist us in rebuilding after the damage of a storm. I'm so thankful He cares- so much more than I can even begin to understand. And I am ever so grateful for the changes I see in our marriage in this new phase of our lives, and we appreciate your prayers as we work to make it a beautiful offering to present back to our Heavenly Father! 

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2 ESV
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, our marriage needed change, and I thank You for opening our hearts to change in areas where it was most needed. Help any others who may be stuck in unhealthy patterns to courageously face them, seek ways to improve them, and making the necessary changes. We are creatures of habit and selfish at best, and yet You call us to something better. Lord, help us do the work required to present our marriage to You one day, knowing we can offer it as a treasure. Help us live lives that seek to honor You in all we do. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
     
     

Sunday Relationship Post- Secrets

     You can probably go way back to your earliest memories and recall the birth of secret keeping in your life. Whispers in the ears of your sister or brother that circled around a likely trivial thought or event. "Don't tell," we would say. Or those hushed voice conversations with our best friends at recess, revealing our deepest thoughts. Whatever your memories conjure up, these were harmless secrets we often did tell, even if we promised not to.
     Then life got a little more complicated, and so did the secrets. They took on a more serious tone now, with real consequences if we failed to uphold our promise to keep them. The truth is, we all need someone to talk to and share our feelings with, and oftentimes our burdens are carried by others when we feel free enough to share. Having a trusted confidant is invaluable when life throws up some curveballs. 
     Then comes marriage. This a place where secrets are dangerous. They divide us and cause distrust. While our spouse should be our greatest confidant, we often turn to others instead. When we are faced with serious issues, we need to have open communication in order to be able to share our struggles with our spouse. It's so important to feel comfortable sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings in a marriage. And if we feel things about one another that are things we see as issues, we need to go to our spouse for resolution, rather than an outside source. 
     There are secrets that are harmless- surprises for one another or sensitive information told to us through another relationship that will not have any impact on your marriage. But in most cases, secrets will cause trouble in a marriage, and open doors of distrust and insecurity. When it comes to infidelity, secrets are the root problem and in order to heal and reestablish trust, they are off limits. The importance of honesty and openness cannot be overstated. Simply put, make a promise to keep nothing from your spouse- not overspending, not an encounter with a flirt, not career decisions, not parenting issues, nor any other piece of information that should be openly shared. 
     God has called each of His children to honesty. We cannot keep secrets from Him since He knows all, and sees all. And He doesn't want us to keep them in our marriages either. Honesty is a characteristic we associate with a godly marriage, and if we want our marriage to be healthy and God honoring, secrets have no place in them. As difficult as it is, I challenge you to open the doors of your heart and mind with your spouse and put away secrets that divide, not unite. 

Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Luke 12:2 ESV
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Ephesians 4:25 ESV
I tell you on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:36-37 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for honesty in my marriage and all of my relationships. Keep me from covering up secrets from those I love, and from tearing down trust in relationships I have with my loved ones. Help me to be a person of my word, and to be trusted by all that know me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!