What is your "I can't sleep" solution? Do you count sheep? Pray until you fall asleep? Do you take a Tylenol PM or melatonin to try to catch your Z's? From my earliest memories, I recall lying in bed with numerous thoughts running through my head, disrupting my sleep. I bet many can relate, and have spent countless night hours staring at the ceiling, simply thinking. My mind is a busy place. Even when my body is exhausted, my brain finds the energy to keep going- often over negative thoughts, ideas, and feelings. Other times, it just doesn't want to be quiet and can't seem to settle down from the activity and interactions of my day.
Relationships cause many of my sleepless hours. "Mom moments" I would love to forget. Kid choices that cause concern and frustration. Friend conversations that didn't go the way I expected. Foolish words that were spoken that I would love to retract. Periods of time when my husband and I weren't connecting. These are some of the issues that spin through my mind in the darkness of the night. Then there are even bigger things- health problems, finances, spiritual battles, and painful breeches in relationships that steal peace and sleep. In those moments, I desperately need to feel God's presence with me.
When my husband left home for a little over a year, sleep often eluded me. What should I do? What should I say? Where will I go? How will things end up? Between prayer and Fixer Upper, I would eventually find rest, but often not nearly as much as my body needed. I often wonder about menopause and our kids growing into early adulthood- how are we supposed to ever get good rest? I made a list of scriptures that point us to the only plausible answer- the presence of our Heavenly Father in the middle of all of it.
What is keeping you awake at night? Do you have concerns regarding your children? Is your marriage in a state that is causing you stress and fear? Is your career giving you anxiety? Are looming health issues eating away at your peace? Is your family in the middle of a messy battle? Whatever it is, it's eating at you, and robbing you of peace, sleep, and the joy and contentment God wants us to experience, even through our difficult seasons. And in the middle of the blackness and stillness of night, these problems seem insurmountable. And then after a restless nights sleep, we wake and remember this promise from our Father- "His mercies never come to an end; great is Your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV).
Friends- we know He is with us in our worries and fears, yet we often don't acknowledge His infinite ability to handle our stresses. Our enemy, the devil, seeks to disrupt our sleep and our lives with doubts and fears that our problems are too big for God to conquer. In the end, our worries only accomplish one thing- they rob us of our faith that He is willing and able to handle them for us. I am so guilty of this far too often. I wish I could write from a place of victory, but I simply can't. I struggle too. And each night that I find myself staring at the ceiling with a heavy mind, I can only do one thing- hand it all over to my Heavenly Father who is far more capable than me to take care of it all. Dear Jesus, I thank You that no matter how many times I fall into this trap, You always meet me there and rescue me!
In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8 ESV
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil, for he gives to his beloved sleep. Psalm 127:2 ESV
I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the LORD sustained me. Psalm 3:5 ESV
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I confess so often failing to trust You with my problems, and instead, worrying late into the morning hours. My worry and fears don't accomplish anything good, so help me Father, in those moments, to truly give them over to You, allowing me to rest in Your perfect ability to handle them for me. In Your precious name I pray, Amen!
I love when my husband is thinking good things about me. I love when he is thinking of our kids, our friends, our family members, or our two crazy dogs. These are safe people to have in his brain, and I am happy to share brain space with them. I especially love when he allows God to share a spot in there with us. But I can firmly say I hated the enemy taking residence in there, threatening my peace and sanity.
For me, one of the harder things to process in the face of infidelity, was my own thoughts. Where was he? What is he doing? What does she look like? Why is he doing this? Is she better than me? Is he telling the truth? Will he come home? How did this happen? Why is God allowing this? Why do other people get to have faithful marriages, but I don't? Will my kids be okay? So many questions swirled around my brain and caused anxiety and fear. I longed for the days of security and peace.
As Christians, how can we deal with these painful thoughts, and allow peace to rule in our hearts and minds? Some days, I wasn't able to remove them from continually invading my mind. Over and over I would take them to my Heavenly Father, then have them assault me again. These thoughts are ugly and turn our focus on what we have been blessed with, to our problems. The days I struggled the most, I tried to shift my focus by staying busy. That would work as long as I was busy, but those night hours in the dark were the absolute worst.
How many of you go to bed and spend the night in deep despair, worrying over things that may not even happen? In the dark of the night, they seem certain and filled with doom. Anxiety makes it hard to breathe well, and sleep evades us. Then the light filters in, and the house begins to stir, and you realize your problems aren't quite so bad. That is not to make light of what we are dealing with, but we often feel most negative in our thought patterns in the middle of the night.
While I think it's impossible to stop the thoughts from invading us, I do think we can make choices on what we do with them. What worked best for me was to speak them to the Lord, and ask Him for help. Each time I thought something painful, I asked Him to help me, or comfort me. I allowed myself to cry when I needed to, knowing He cared for me and sorrowed with me. While Satan longed to get comfortable in my brain, I shooed him away with whispers to Jesus. We don't like sharing brain space in our spouse's mind with the enemy, but we also don't want to open ours to the enemy and allow his lies to jade us. Jesus speaks truth, and I choose to listen.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 ESV
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, 2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV
When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul. Psalm 94:19 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father,
Help me to keep my perspective based on truth, and not the lies and fear of Satan. Help me to share my fears with You, and allow You to replace them with peace only You can give. I want my thoughts to be on things that are honorable, and just, and pure. In the darkness of night, when the enemy tries to steal my sleep with fear, give me rest. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
