I Wasn't Ready Yet

 I received a message through my Instagram account the other day, and something in it really struck a chord with me: "I wasn't ready, yet", she said. I've said it, and maybe you have too. How many things do we not feel ready for? I know for me, the list would be pretty extensive. In this particular case, she wasn't ready for words of hope—because sometimes, we feel the need to flounder in our grief and pain as we grapple with reality. We wrestle with our shocking feelings surrounding painful circumstances, and need to spend some time there.

I can relate. I have my own lapse between discovery and the quest for healing. Or maybe that lapse is really just the very beginning of the process that leads us to healing. When we receive shocking news—whether betrayal in our marriage, the death of a loved one, a serious diagnosis, or some other painful discovery, our initial response is not usually acceptance—that comes later in the grieving/healing process.

It helps to know this is a natural response for most humans. It doesn't make me a bad person or a bad Christian if I spend a little time between discovery and acceptance. It doesn't mean I don't believe God is good—but it does mean my faith in His goodness is being called to the test, even as He patiently waits for me to learn to trust Him with this hard news.

The truth is, when I hear something especially difficult, I like to nurse that pain for a while. Whether it's minutes or days, those feelings match the bad news. I need time to properly grieve those hurts and disappointments before I feel ready to move on and move forward—maybe you need this space too. But even in those days of nursing my wounds and floundering in my feelings, I'm still so deeply touched with His tender presence—giving comfort until I'm ready. 

I lost a dear friend this week, and I wasn't ready to hear she had passed away. I had hoped for healing—healing that would place her back in this world—healthy and whole and pouring herself back into her family and friends once again. We prayed and we believed, yet God took her home. I feel pain over our temporary parting—space is needed until acceptance comes. God knows. He understands our need for this time, yet it won't stop Him from planting precious truths into our hurting hearts. This is the soil needed for future acceptance—knowing He deeply cares for our hurts and pains.

Maybe you're somewhere between hard news and acceptance. Maybe you're wrestling with the darkness of those painful feelings—the deepness of grief. Maybe you don't even want to think of God, and are pressing against His longing to comfort you. If He is in control, then He could have allowed a different outcome—different news than what you're facing. Does He care for your hurt and pain, and does He understand the feelings we face as we grieve? He does, friends, He does.

We need days where we wallow in the bad news and we ask God, "why?" And while it's a natural part of the process of grieving, let us not stay stuck there. The truth is, bad news will come to us all at some point in our lives—and it seems more and more often as we age. Sin has broken this world, and it's broken us, too. That's why we desperately need Jesus—the God of all comfort. 

Maybe today you don't feel ready to accept whatever it is you're facing. Maybe you just want to nurse your pain another day. Maybe you aren't ready yet—ready to move forward. To accept. To heal. To trust God with your broken heart. Maybe today, hope doesn't feel possible. But tomorrow is a new day. Pray about your heart. Know that Jesus cares so very deeply for you. His ways are best, even when they hurt. 

We don't always need to know why, but eventually we must accept the present reality. We must remember God's faithful love, and that He works all things for good–even when it doesn't feel good. One day, you'll be ready, and one day you'll look back and see how far He's brought you. Don't spend too much time wallowing and nursing your pain—you have big things He has planned for you—things you don't want to miss. You aren't alone in this—He is always with us. So today in that space between hard news and acceptance, may you feel His love beckoning you to trust Him. May you learn to lean into His tender, strong arms and carry you through. He is our Good, Good Father—every single moment of every single day.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, ESV). 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3, ESV). 

Wedding Planning

 As the 31st of July approaches at the speed of a freight train, we are all about wedding planning around here. As the family of the groom, we certainly have less on our plates to handle, but there is still a lot going on to prepare for the big day. From rehearsal dinner menus and guest lists, to all the right clothing for the family, that's just the start to what we've been up to. The thing is, wedding planning is pretty fun, even though it's also pretty expensive. But if no effort is put into the planning, the day won't go smoothly and it wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable for the bride, groom or any of the guests. 

All of this commotion has got me thinking about something, though. As special as this wedding is, it pales in comparison to the wedding we will be a part of as believers in Christ Jesus. This celebration just gives a small peek into something much bigger and much more meaningful—the wedding where all of us are the Bride of Christ. The one really big difference is this: the Groom did most of the work and this work was costly beyond our scope of understanding.

In order for us to be a part of the bride of Christ, we had to be redeemed. This redemption cost God His only Son, Jesus, dying on the cross to offer us all the priceless gift of salvation. After His death, He was resurrected and ascended into Heaven where He went to prepare a place for us—you, me and every believer in Christ. He stated that He would "go to prepare a mansion for us." And so we can trust that this is exactly what He is doing as we wait here for Him to rapture His church. So we can see how He is doing His part to bring us into the marriage celebration in Heaven, but what about me? What about you? What are we doing to prepare for that wedding in the sky?

In all honesty, it's humbling to admit that I am not preparing at the same feverish pitch as I am for my son's wedding. It's like I think I have my whole life to prepare—but we have no idea how long we have before God calls us home. I have today, I have now, but that's all I can be sure of. So in these days or moments or years, I need to be preparing for my Groom—but what does that look like?

We put a lot of focus on the Bride in our worldly weddings. Their dress, hair, make-up and jewelry are all well thought out. We hire stylists and make-up artists. We get alterations until the dress fits perfectly. We shop around until we find the perfect pair of shoes. All of this is important, but quite different from how we prepare for our heavenly Bridegroom. Our preparation involves work on our hearts and our willing obedience to living to serve our Lord. 

Should Jesus call us home today—or if it is your last day here, how do you look from our Groom's perspective? While His blood covers our sin and cleanses us, we still are responsible for how we lived and loved. Would you feel prepared to meet Him today, or would you feel regret at misplaced attention on less important things? This gives me pause as I write this, because it's clear to me that I have much more I wish to do for the Lord and yet I'm pouring a great deal of attention in places that don't reap an eternal reward. 

I'm looking forward to July 31st—for sure. It's a day to celebrate these two people we love and their love for one another. But the day will come when I will meet my own heavenly Bridegroom—Jesus. I want to be ready for that day, and I don't want to feel unprepared when I stand before Him. And so I have work to do to prepare for that wedding in Heaven—I have serving and following and loving left to do in abundance. Not for my sake, no, but for the purpose of fulfilling my calling in the family of Christ. 

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also (John 14:3, ESV).

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure"—for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, "Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb." And he said to me, "These are the true words of God (Revelation 19:7-9, ESV)."

Dear Heavenly Father, help us be more aware of the preparation we should be doing as we prepare to be called home to You. The biggest wedding celebration ever will be our wedding to You–our Perfect and Precious Bridegroom. May it not be true that we stand before You fully unprepared with empty hands and hallow hearts. In Your name we pray, Amen!