Wedding Planning

 As the 31st of July approaches at the speed of a freight train, we are all about wedding planning around here. As the family of the groom, we certainly have less on our plates to handle, but there is still a lot going on to prepare for the big day. From rehearsal dinner menus and guest lists, to all the right clothing for the family, that's just the start to what we've been up to. The thing is, wedding planning is pretty fun, even though it's also pretty expensive. But if no effort is put into the planning, the day won't go smoothly and it wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable for the bride, groom or any of the guests. 

All of this commotion has got me thinking about something, though. As special as this wedding is, it pales in comparison to the wedding we will be a part of as believers in Christ Jesus. This celebration just gives a small peek into something much bigger and much more meaningful—the wedding where all of us are the Bride of Christ. The one really big difference is this: the Groom did most of the work and this work was costly beyond our scope of understanding.

In order for us to be a part of the bride of Christ, we had to be redeemed. This redemption cost God His only Son, Jesus, dying on the cross to offer us all the priceless gift of salvation. After His death, He was resurrected and ascended into Heaven where He went to prepare a place for us—you, me and every believer in Christ. He stated that He would "go to prepare a mansion for us." And so we can trust that this is exactly what He is doing as we wait here for Him to rapture His church. So we can see how He is doing His part to bring us into the marriage celebration in Heaven, but what about me? What about you? What are we doing to prepare for that wedding in the sky?

In all honesty, it's humbling to admit that I am not preparing at the same feverish pitch as I am for my son's wedding. It's like I think I have my whole life to prepare—but we have no idea how long we have before God calls us home. I have today, I have now, but that's all I can be sure of. So in these days or moments or years, I need to be preparing for my Groom—but what does that look like?

We put a lot of focus on the Bride in our worldly weddings. Their dress, hair, make-up and jewelry are all well thought out. We hire stylists and make-up artists. We get alterations until the dress fits perfectly. We shop around until we find the perfect pair of shoes. All of this is important, but quite different from how we prepare for our heavenly Bridegroom. Our preparation involves work on our hearts and our willing obedience to living to serve our Lord. 

Should Jesus call us home today—or if it is your last day here, how do you look from our Groom's perspective? While His blood covers our sin and cleanses us, we still are responsible for how we lived and loved. Would you feel prepared to meet Him today, or would you feel regret at misplaced attention on less important things? This gives me pause as I write this, because it's clear to me that I have much more I wish to do for the Lord and yet I'm pouring a great deal of attention in places that don't reap an eternal reward. 

I'm looking forward to July 31st—for sure. It's a day to celebrate these two people we love and their love for one another. But the day will come when I will meet my own heavenly Bridegroom—Jesus. I want to be ready for that day, and I don't want to feel unprepared when I stand before Him. And so I have work to do to prepare for that wedding in Heaven—I have serving and following and loving left to do in abundance. Not for my sake, no, but for the purpose of fulfilling my calling in the family of Christ. 

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also (John 14:3, ESV).

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure"—for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, "Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb." And he said to me, "These are the true words of God (Revelation 19:7-9, ESV)."

Dear Heavenly Father, help us be more aware of the preparation we should be doing as we prepare to be called home to You. The biggest wedding celebration ever will be our wedding to You–our Perfect and Precious Bridegroom. May it not be true that we stand before You fully unprepared with empty hands and hallow hearts. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Gift of My Son

 Our house is full of wedding plans. This is a first for us, and it's baffling how much planning is packed into saying "I Do"! But it's mostly fun stuff and we are happy to do what it takes to give our only son a proper sendoff into his own life with his own wife. But some days it touches my heart how this little boy, grown into a man seldom leans on me these days. Yes, that's the way it's supposed to be, but I treasure memories of the little boy who never wanted to grow up so he could stay with me forever. And I'm so, so incredibly grateful for the years I've had him home with me—those are years I will forever treasure in my heart.

It all started close to twenty-five years ago. The effort and tears and prayers and love all poured into him in hopes of giving him the very best foundation to start his own family. Sure I've made mistakes along the way, but never did my heart stray from only wishing him the best and wanting a great future for him. And so the effort of raising a good man was never wasted, and while no one is perfect I'm awfully proud of my son. 

Now the purpose of this post isn't to make you roll your eyes or gag at the mushiness, but rather to show how our children are a gift—not only to us but to their future spouse. If I allow laziness, disrespect and unkindness to be overlooked and shrug my shoulders at it, I do a disservice to their future spouse. Greed, grudge holding and no spiritual foundation will not make him the man I want for his wife. And so we have a huge responsibility as parents to make humans that will be respectful, helpful and tender spouses. 

The days are counting down until the day I will watch him take his girl as his wife. In that moment I'll nearly bust with pride and emotion, but I'll also give one of the greatest gifts I have to give—the gift of my son. I hope that in him I've instilled a sense of being the best husband he can be and in time, Lord willing, the best dad he can be. Those character traits have hopefully been formed in him, even as most came at the surrender of worn knees and heavenly pleas. He is one of my most valuable treasures and when I stop to think of this, I'm taken to Calvary.

God sent His only precious, highly treasured Son to a cruel cross to die in my place. Not because I'm a "good" person because I surely am not, but because of my great sin that separated me from a holy God. His Son was everything perfect and everything holy yet He gave Him willingly out of a love for us greater than our understanding. He gave me the gift of His Son. It was the single-most selfless sacrifice and one that provided everything I could ever need to secure my eternal pardon. He didn't make mistakes along the way and offer the best He could manage—He offered a perfect Son for a sinful creation. So while I offer my own son, filled with humanity's sinful imperfections, He offered the only perfect Son for me—for you!

When the day comes for me to celebrate the giving of my son to his beautiful bride, I hope I can take a few moments that day to reflect on God's Son being given to me. Giving something of great value has a high cost. In God's case, no higher cost could have been paid—He gave us the very best. And while my own son is no match to the cost paid through Jesus on the cross, he is my only boy–the son of my own heart. I'm not a person of great wealth or prestige—my children far excel over any earthly goods I could offer. As my heart thinks on these things, may it be touched with the price He paid for me through His own Son, Jesus. Thank You, Lord for your indescribable gift—my heart is humbled anew at Your great love for me. 

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward (Psalm 127:3, ESV).

And behold, a voice from heaven said, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased (Matthew 3:17, ESV)."

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father we thank You for the gift of Your Son, given up to the cross in order to rescue us from sin. Your love exceeds our understanding and our hearts are warmed by You. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Unloved like Leah

       If you've ever felt "less than", I get it. Whether you were overlooked for making a school sports team, a runner-up in a pageant, missed a promotion to a more qualified co-worker, or lost in an art show to someone more talented, you understand the sting of feeling passed over. These are life events we all face at one time or another, and the best way to move forward is to dust ourselves off and keep going. But sometimes, being "less than" hurts far more than we feel capable of handling on our own. Being rejected hurts, but being rejected by the one we love is devastating and seemingly impossible. I've had a Bible story on my heart for quite a while that paints a clear picture of being unloved and looked over for another. If you would like to read more of the story, you can find it in Genesis 29. 
     Here is a brief synopsis of the story of Jacob, Leah and Rachel: A long time ago, in a far away country in the east, there were two sisters. The younger sister had a beautiful face and a good figure, while the older was plain and less attractive. A young man comes into town and finds the prettier sister at the watering well as he inquired of his Uncle to some of the local men. She is the daughter of his Uncle Laban, and he is welcomed into their home. He falls desperately in love with this pretty young woman named Rachel, and eventually asks her father for her hand in marriage. He offers seven years of his life to her father in exchange for Rachel. He works for seven years and feels like it was only a short time because of his great love for her. After his wedding night, he wakes up in the morning to find his Uncle had tricked him and given him the older sister, Leah, as it was the custom to marry off the older first. He then waits one week, and is given his long anticipated bride, Rachel, in exchange for an additional seven years of service to her father. This begins a long, complicated, painful journey for these sisters, and Jacob. Marriage was never intended to be shared, but rather a sacred union between two individuals. God knew the complications, jealousy, and heartache that would result from polygamy, and because of this, it was not His intention that we would share our spouse with another. 
     Imagine with me the pain Leah was forced to endure because of her father's deceit. Rachel was always given the place of favor among Jacob, and Leah was not cherished. Jacob would choose to lie in Rachel's arms over Leah's. Jacob would choose to spend his free time with Rachel, and not Leah. Leah would yearn for his love, only to see it showered on her sister instead. Rachel would become jealous and unkind towards her sister for her ability to bear children, while she remained barren for quite some time. Leah hoped that bearing sons would cause her husband to love her, but she was unable to capture his heart. 
     Have you ever felt like a Leah- unloved, unseen, unchosen, and cast aside? No matter who or whatever causes us to feel this way in life, as God's children, we are never unloved or unchosen. While the sting of rejection doesn't vanish because our Heavenly Father loves us, we can rest assured that He will heal our hurts and He understands our feelings of being unloved. No one ever felt as unwanted as our Savior did. If your heart is hurting and heavy from being overlooked, put away or cast aside, lay your burdens at His feet, and hear His precious promise to you- You are my beloved, and I have chosen you!

For you are a people holy to the LORD your God, and the LORD has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. Deuteronomy 14:2 ESV
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah Psalm 62:8 ESV
Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever. Psalm 136:26 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, we are so thankful that we can be sure of Your faithful love towards Your people. While we may feel cast aside by those who love us here, we know You will never forsake or leave us. Thank You Father, for Your faithfulness and Your perfect love for us. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!

Picking A Different Version

  When I was a little girl, I had some pretty big    pipe dreams about life. In my mind's eye, everything went great. There were no bumps in the road, and no seasons filled with pain or sorrow. I had fairy tale ideas of what marriage was like. And to be honest, most of my thoughts of marriage centered on the wedding. Most of us girls dream about being a bride, and wearing the fancy dress and planning a beautiful day. But marriage is about so much more than a wedding, and as Hollywood can attest, many fall apart afterwards because we believe the wedding day is our grand crescendo. 
     While a wedding is a special day, and one to celebrate, it's no finale- rather, it's the beginning of learning to serve. It's putting myself after the needs of my spouse, and learning selflessness over selfishness. We don't see these things when we are young and eager to be with our person 24/7; we see with rose-colored glasses. If we could see what would follow, would we pick a different version of our life, if it were possible?
     I've thought of this often, since my husband's affair. Would I wish for a different life story- one that is easier, and less painful? Would I choose a path that was absent of heartache and loss? Would I wish my husband out of my story? And even in the darkest days of my marriage, the answer is no. I wouldn't pick a different story or a different life. If you have lived a fairly easy life, you are missing out on knowing a lot about God. You won't know how He redeems our pain, and turns it into something beautiful. You won't know how closely He walks us through our darkest valleys. You won't feel the comfort of His whispers to your wounded spirit. And you won't know how good it feels to feel His blessings after pain. 
     If you have been betrayed in your marriage by an affair, I pray you'll use it to reach others that are hurting. I pray you'll be willing to share your story with someone who needs to hear the hope you have experienced. God doesn't orchestrate any form of sin or pain in our lives, but He does want to use it when we experience it. He wants us to use it to bring glory to Him. And the more that we allow that to happen, and use our story to help others, the more our own season of pain will heal. This is how He will take our most difficult seasons, and redeem them! So I'm thankful for my life story, and I pray that through it, I will have the opportunity to reach others for good, and His glory!

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18 ESV
For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:3-4 ESV
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for the version of my life that I'm living. It isn't the easiest, but through those hard times, I've witnessed You in ways I never would have without those trials. I thank You for redeeming pain, and for allowing situations that will bring help and hope to others who are suffering. Help me to have the courage to share my story, and not be ashamed. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Rings

     I will never forget the day my best friend became my fiance, and slipped an engagement ring on my finger. We were walking along the beach on Topsail Island, and he proposed to me. That ring was special to me, and so was the man that placed it on my hand. I couldn't wait to show everyone- so much so, that even though I had sun poisoning on my LIPS, and had pink scaly lotion on them, I just HAD to go to church to share my news. Seriously, I can't believe I did that, looking back!
     Rings are special, especially to us women. And the story behind them is even more special. So when I decided to remove my wedding ring, it tore at my heart. My ring meant that I belonged to someone, and removing it meant that I didn't. Most people my age wore one, and I wondered how many, like me, took it for granted. When I first put mine on at the age of 22, I never really took it off. It was there, and after the initial newness of it wore off, I didn't really pay too much attention to it. 
     If you have faced infidelity, you may have your own "ring story". My husband removed his immediately- and seeing his hand without it, made me feel sick to my stomach.  Initially, I kept mine on for a month or two, unable to part with the significance of the promises I had made. But slowly, I began to see that it was a symbol of what was, rather than what is. I would have given anything to not face the truth, but my marriage was simply broken, and until that changed, my ring would remain packed away. 
     It's hard to face promises that aren't kept. When we make a promise, we should keep it, and I especially felt this was true regarding a marriage union. But the bottom line is, we can only control our end of keeping promises- the responsibility of the promises made by our spouse rests on them. When I slipped off my wedding ring, it wasn't because I forgot the promises I made, it was because he did. 
     I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that always keeps His promises! He will never let us down, and we can always count on Him to follow through on His Word. I thought of that often, as I looked at my empty ring finger. While my husband forgot what he vowed on that hot summer day in 1993, Jesus won't ever forget me. If you are brokenhearted because someone let you down in a big way, allow the comfort of a faithful Savior to soothe your pain. Remind yourself of the promises He has made to you, and that He has good plans for you- even though your heart hurts today. Oh, how He loves us!

It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Ecclesiastes 5:5 ESV
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it? Numbers 23:19 ESV
So that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. Hebrews 6:18 ESV
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, it hurts to have our hearts broken by empty promises; especially by our own spouse. Give me the help, courage, and strength for whatever is ahead, and give me wisdom to follow Your way for me. Open doors that should be open, and close doors that should be closed- and help me to honor whichever You choose for me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!