Passing Through the Waters

 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you (Isaiah 43:2, ESV).

With the enemy thundering at their heels, the Children of Israel rushed forward hoping for an escape from Pharaoh's army. The Egyptians had set them free, only to change their minds and pursue them on their flight from bondage. God had delivered them—or so they thought. As they were pursued, they came to a roadblock. The Red Sea lay before them and the enemy behind. They were trapped. Fear, doubt, anger and uncertainty likely held each of them captive. Why would God deliver them only to bring them to certain death at the banks of the sea?

"Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the Lord drove the sea back by a strong east wind all night and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided (Exodus 14:21, ESV)."

Deliverance came for them through the gracious hand of God and their enemies perished in the waters as they closed on those Egyptians. The waters did not overwhelm them.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to kneel down to the golden image King Nebuchadnezzar had made. Refusal to worship this false god would result in a serious punishment—they would be thrown into a fiery furnace. What a terrifying verdict, and yet when we read further we read these words in Scripture:

"Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished and rose up in haste. He declared to his counselors, "Did we not cast three men bound into the fire?" They answered and said to the king, "True, O king." He answered and said, "But I see four men unbound, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods (Daniel 3:24-25, ESV).""

Deliverance came for these men through the gracious hand of God for their faithfulness to Him. The fire did not consume them.

What waters are you currently facing? Is there something you're facing that seems impossible? Do you feel trapped by your circumstances and can't seem to find a way out? Is it finances? An addiction? A troubled relationship? An affair? Or maybe you're facing foreclosure. What waters have you feeling fearful and discouraged?

What fires are you facing? The loss of a loved one? An unfaithful spouse who abandoned you? A pregnancy that is seriously in jeopardy? A family scandal or job insecurity? Do you feel the heat and wonder how you'll ever survive it? 

Deliverance doesn't always look like we think it should, but the God who parted that sea, and the same God who walked through the fire with those Hebrew men is still God today. When waters or fires threaten to consume and overwhelm us, He is our only solid answer and the only true Source of hope. 

May we be encouraged today in trusting that God knows our situation and He also knows our need. While He won't always remove hardships we experience, He will always meet us in the middle of them. He does always give us the strength and courage we need to face our trials and in these trials we face the promised refining—being made more like Jesus each day.

The Real Me

Posturing is something we're all guilty of. We talk ourselves up when we first meet someone, and try to put our best self forward. Who would want to meet up with us a second time if we introduced ourselves and divulged all of our shortcomings right from the start? "Hey, I'm Ruth, and I tend to hold people to my standards, and have a problem with thinking I'm better than I really am." Or, "Hey there, I try to control people's behavior, by dropping comments that are meant to manipulate their response." If I presented myself in light of all my flaws, I would have zero friends, and no husband. And so we do our best to hide our imperfections, hoping to make connections with people before they know we have a laundry list of real issues. But spend a little time with someone and those flaws begin to come to the surface. We begin to notice that they have their own deficiencies, and we find that the real versions of each of you are different than when you first met.

Genuine relationships can't be built when authenticity isn't present. Have you ever struck up a friendship with someone, only to realize that they were completely different when you really got to know them? Sometimes these differences make your personalities clash, and you drift apart. And other times, you find that they become unexpected lifelong friends. But it takes spending time together, and communicating well, to uncover the real version of a person. This is because initial meetings generally lack a depth of sharing the deepest part of who we are-the good along with the bad.

I remember a friend that met a charming young man-attentive and attractive. He doted on her and she thought she struck gold. He took her to nice restaurants, bought her jewelry, and complimented her often. But the more time she spent with him, the more his hidden flaws began to surface. He was no longer charming, but rather manipulative and abusive. What she initially saw in him was a cover up for who he really was. She felt duped, embarrassed, and heartbroken. This is often the case in abusive relationships, as no one would sign up for that kind of treatment if they knew their true nature from the start. And while this is an extreme version of hiding our flaws, we all do it to an extent.

Nothing uncovers the "real me" quite like marriage. Living with someone 24/7 makes it impossible to hide all our flaws-even though we may be successful in hiding some of them. While we won't be able to hide our tendency for being messy, oversleeping, being habitually late, being a bad cook, or losing things, we will be able to hide more secretive things like a pornography addiction, overspending, lying or flirting with co-workers. But when our true identity isn't known to our spouse or our closest friends, we lack the support we desperately need to help us in our weaknesses. And so I need to let the ugly out, in vulnerability and honesty before those we allow to truly know us, because I need that accountability and the depth that comes from being loved despite our failures.

No matter how successful we may be in hiding from others, we know that God really knows us. There isn't anything we can hide from Him-He sees it all. He sees that I have a Pharisee's heart, an honesty that teeters on being brutal, and a tendency to pout when I don't get my way. I try my best to hide these behaviors-especially around new people, but in the deepest part of me, these sinful tendencies lurk. Yet I love how God doesn't write me off, and refuse to love me because of my shortcomings. He knows me intimately and completely, and yet He sees past all of the junk and offers me Himself-fully able to step into my faults and transform me. 

One thing that's become clear to me the older I get is how important it is to let people in and allow them to know the real me. I need relationships like that-deep, and honest in nature. People that will call me out when necessary, and also encourage me when I need it most. If I refuse to open up, I miss out on what's best for me, and my relationships will suffer from lack of authenticity. Hiding our flaws won't help us find victory over them. In my closest relationships, I need to be open to constructive criticism, accepting that there are areas of my true self which really do need a makeover. We often want to make positive changes in ourselves, yet lack the courage to face our worst character flaws, and then exercise discipline to make necessary changes.

What flaws are you hiding in your relationships? Whatever it is, your relationship cannot be genuine if you continue to conceal the areas you wrestle with the most. And when we really love someone, we should be willing to step in and be a help when they are vulnerable enough to share their shortcomings with us. It won't help to judge them and treat them with a condescending manner. Instead, what they likely would appreciate would be your ability to listen, encourage and share the love of Christ. The people who really know me somehow still choose to love me. Loving me in spite of my faults makes their love not only special, but real. Let's be authentic in our relationships, and trust that God has placed people in our lives that will help us be the best version of ourselves, calling us to live more like our Savior. And for those who do this for me, my heart is so grateful, and I thank God for those special relationships. Being genuine takes courage, but when we stand in the strength of our Lord, we have no reason to doubt or fear.

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good (Romans 12:9, ESV).

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working (James 5:16, ESV).

Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him (Proverbs 30:5, ESV).

God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship him in spirit and truth (John 4:24, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to be more authentic with others, bringing to light the things I try so hard to hide. May I find love and compassion when I am courageous enough to share the ugliest parts of me. I thank You, Father, that despite all of my flaws, You loved me so much that You died to redeem me. In Your name I pray, Amen!

 

Knowing the God of the Storm

     I've had the pleasure of knowing God in very unpleasant circumstances. Is it a different God than the God of my other days? Is it the God that is right along with me, when I'm totally oblivious to Him? Is He the same God that hears my daily prayers, and is the subject of my daily reading? Well, He is always the same God, but He feels so much different to us when we are in the middle of a crisis or a storm. God hasn't necessarily changed in those moments, but my awareness of Him does, and He exemplifies different characteristics than the God of my usual days.
     The likelihood that you know the God of the storm is relatively high. If you're His child, and you live in this broken world, then storms will naturally come into our lives. We can choose in those moments to draw close to God, or we can choose to cast unwarranted blame at His feet. Our petulant nature feels He owes us a storm-free life as Christians. This is a naive way of thinking, and we are so much better prepared if we expect them to come our way, and choose to draw our strength from God when they do. 
     I've been a follower of Jesus for 39 years. I'm ashamed to admit there have been days I've forgotten He was with me. I've been guilty of allowing life's responsibilities and pleasures to crowd Him out of my mind. I've taken Him for granted, even though I owe no one more than I owe Him. He's never left me, even when I took the wrong path and did sinful things. God is faithful even when we stray. The days where storms were absent didn't change who God was, but they foolishly permitted me to take Him for granted, until storms hit my own life.  
     The God of the storm is so compassionate, so full of comfort, so encouraging, so strength-giving, and so very near. I'll be the first to admit that the storms of life are painful, and experiences I wish I didn't have to wrestle face. But I'm so blessed to know that aspect of God. When I struggled with infertility and lost pregnancies, He was my Comforter and Friend. When I wrestled with my identity as a mom and a wife, and needed guidance, He was my Guide and my Source of wisdom and encouragement. When my heart was broken from a broken marriage, He filled the sad places of my heart and whispered words of love and hope. I desperately needed Him, and He loved being needed and wanted by me.
     Friends, isn't it humbling and yet precious to know He wants to be needed by us? I often shake my head in disbelief that God would want me or need me. And I also feel sorrow that storms are often necessary to drive me to His waiting arms. God is no less sweeter or stronger when I think I don't need Him-and I wish it didn't take a storm for me to love Him and bring Him into every moment of my life, no matter the situation. If you've walked through a storm and allowed Him to carry you through, you know the God of the storm. Such precious help and hope and healing He brings to us who call on Him. Forgive me Father, for the days I take You for granted, and I thank You for Your unfailing love and devotion to me. God-You want me- I'm so amazed by that and I'm forever grateful.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10 ESV). 
The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you (Psalm 9:9-10 ESV). 
When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:17-18 ESV).  

Dear heavenly Father, we thank You for always being present with us as Your children, and we thank You for drawing so close when we are in the middle of a storm. Your presence gives us hope, peace and comfort. May we appreciate Your unfailing love for us each day, no matter our circumstances. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     

Waiting On Your Answer

     The days ticked by, and still it wasn't happening. It just didn't seem to matter how much I prayed, or how much hope I tried to muster, he still wasn't home. I believed God was able, but I couldn't figure out why He wasn't stepping in and giving me the desires of my heart. I waited. I hoped. I prayed. I believed-yet, God chose to allow the situation to continue. I couldn't understand it in those days and months-it simply didn't seem right. I felt much like the father in the story of the prodigal son, faithfully waiting for my own prodigal to return, only to go to bed each night again, disappointed and lonely.
     Waiting doesn't come easy for any of us when we are waiting for something we desperately want. Surgery dates, root canals, court dates and the last day of vacation don't work that way. Those come much quicker than we can even imagine, but not the anguished prayers of our hearts-those take time. Even so, God has great purpose in our waiting, and oftentimes He withholds our answer because He is doing a greater work in our own hearts and lives. It's our moment of being purified by His fire, and the goal is the become more like Him. It burns and it hurts, but the process is for our spiritual good-good that has eternal value. 
     What are you waiting for today? What desperate pleas are you lifting up to our heavenly Father? Is it a child that has wandered from their faith? Is it a husband that has fallen to alcoholism? Is it a daughter who carries a child conceived out of marriage? A husband content to play video games and skip church? A wife who is unfaithful and unwilling to return home? Is it a sick child-fragile, and too young to die? Or maybe your job situation is less than ideal, and causes you great anxiety and stress. Some of us are in the middle of some pretty big trials, and some much less, yet we all have walked inside situations we longed to escape. 
     If you're one of the ones that feel desperate today, can I encourage you not to lose hope? Can I remind you that in this season of waiting, God is refining you? Can I encourage you that He only refines His own children, and that by walking through this trial, you can feel connected to Him as your Father? I won't profess to love my own seasons of waiting, because I can promise you, those seasons are painful. And while they are painful, they are also sweet. I've never felt closer to Jesus than in those dark valleys of waiting. Because it was in those moments that I knew my absolute need of Him. And He never lets us down in those seasons-He is always faithful and always giving us the strength and comfort we need to wait another day.
     Friend, keep praying, and don't lose heart! There is no situation too difficult for God, and there is no situation He doesn't walk with us. We are not left alone to figure it out on our own. We often feel we are, and take matters into our own hands only to make a bigger mess of it. As hard as it is somedays, trust Him with it all. Believe that He's working, even when you can't see it. And never stop looking for your own prodigal to walk down that long road toward home. And when it happens-praise the God of Heaven each day for His goodness to us. 

I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, ... Ezekiel 34:16a (ESV)
For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost Luke 19:10 (ESV).
For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found." And they began to celebrate Luke 15:24 (ESV).

Dear heavenly Father, we are all prodigals, and You've waited so long for each of us so many times. You know the anguish of our hearts, and are no stranger to waiting. Give us patience and hope as we wait for You to do a marvelous work through our prayers for Your ultimate glory. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Mountain Climbing

     I'm not a fan of heights! I've never been interested in scaling tall mountains, and people that do rock climbing?- well, I think they are insane. I hate flying in airplanes, and only do it out of necessity. I can't imagine skydiving when merely looking out the window makes me feel slightly panicked, and definitely vulnerable. When we visited NYC, we decided to take the elevator to the top of Rockefeller Center. As beautiful as the view was, I felt relieved to be safely on the ground floor again. If I'm not on the water, I like my feet on solid ground- low ground. But if I look at my life as a climb, I'm way up in the clouds.
     Looking at life as a climb gives us a good mental picture of where we are, but it also gives us an awesome visual of how far we have come. For each moment in each day, we take a step higher- not able to see what is ahead. Some days, I wasn't sure I could keep climbing and stumbled along the journey. I felt tired and uncertain.  Miscarriage and infidelity seemed insurmountable. What was in front of me seemed too painful to continue forward, but with the help of the Leader of my Path, I desperately grabbed His hand and followed. I know this to be absolutely true: Jesus gives us strength for the climb. 
     Take a moment to think of your own mountain. Look behind you. What do you see? What have you come through that seemed impossible? The older I get, more of my mountain is behind me and a shorter journey lies ahead. It can cause feelings of fear and doubt looking ahead, not knowing what we will encounter in our tomorrows. Because we can't see it, it can unsettle us. But what I am being taught through the harder times, is that I don't have to know what's ahead. The reality is that God knows, and this wonderful truth relieves me from carrying the burden of uncertainty. Whatever lies ahead, I know He will meet me there. 
     Some of life's knocks are hard. They leave us fearful, angry, jaded and even bitter. As Christians, we weren't promised an easy climb. A world touched by sin has left it broken. We can't escape painful experiences, and honestly, if we could, we would be shallow, with little evidence to show Who we belong to. No, we don't know what is ahead, but there isn't any reason for fear when we are being led by our Heavenly Father. So grab a hold of His hand, and allow Him to lead you higher, knowing He is fully capable of handling the ruts along the way. Going sideways or refusing to walk forward will never allow us to get to our mountaintop peak. The way can be hard, but the view at the top is breathtaking, and I don't want to miss it!

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it." when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Isaiah 30:21 ESV
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105 ESV
The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand. Psalm 37:23-24 ESV
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for faithfully guiding me along life's journey. I can't see what is ahead, but I look in awe behind me. Lord, You've led me through many difficult bends in the road, but I kept moving forward because You gave me the strength to take another step. Whatever is ahead, may I look to You for help and direction. In Your precious name I pray, Amen!

What is Written on Yours?

     If you're a Christian, you've probably figured out by now that we aren't exempt from trials and suffering. We didn't get an easy pass as soon as we accepted Him as our Savior. I've heard people say after a tragedy or trial, "and they are even a Christian, and yet it still happened to them" -almost puzzled by it. There are many bonuses to being redeemed, but one of them isn't a cake walk through life.
     I think we are not as shocked by infidelity when it hits the average secular home, yet when it hits the home of a Christian, we often don't get it. It can throw us for a loop when we don't realize that each one of us is clothed in humanity, making none of us immune to sin and the consequences of living in a fallen world. I'm approaching my 50's and I've had my share of tests and trials, and I'm guessing you have as well.
     I was enjoying a scripture that gives us a little comfort in knowing we aren't alone in this "cross bearing" journey we are traveling: "And he said to ALL, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me (Luke 9:23 ESV). If we are followers of Jesus, we will still have our crosses to bear. While we are encouraged to pick it up and keep following Jesus, we are also asked to deny ourselves. This is a tall order for our selfish nature to fill. And so I look at this scripture and apply it to our marital crisis.
     If I can make it a visual application, my cross has "betrayed by infidelity" written on it. But if I look closer, it has many other things written on it as well. Some are the results of others sin against me, and plenty are the result of my own pride and disobedience against God. The words on my cross are painful and shameful, and yet it has my name on it to bear. I can choose to let it lay there on the ground and feel sorry for myself, saying it's too heavy to pick up- that's the easy way. Or, I can look at the encouraging face of my Savior, calling out to me, "Ruth, while this is painful to carry, and really heavy, you can do this through My strength. Don't worry about what others are doing or saying, they have their own cross to carry, just pick it up, and follow Me." 
     Friends, we are called to walk through some tough circumstances, and yet it is within our power to persevere and follow our God, or allow them to defeat us. If infidelity is a part of your story too, what are you going to do with your cross? Yes, it's heavy, and yes, it hurts, but when we follow Jesus, we won't be led down a path of disappointment. While we often think we are entitled to only good things, it's often our cross bearing that will give us our identity in Jesus. How well are you carrying yours? Does it point others to your Source of strength, or do you refuse to deny yourself and let it lay useless on the ground? I won't say I never lay mine down, but when we do, we only need to look to Him to give us the strength to hoist it back up, and keep following our Lord! 

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 ESV
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, Hebrews 12:1 ESV
For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:36 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, how thankful I am that when we are called to carry our crosses, You draw alongside and help and encourage us. Some crosses are heavier than others, but none are too heavy when we allow Your strength to fuel us. Lord, when You call me to follow You through the dark and painful places, may I deny myself, and obediently follow You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

I Wouldn't Do That!

     Have you ever sat your child down, and warned them about a certain behavior, explaining the consequences that could come from failing to listen? I know I sure have. If your kids are like mine, they likely told you, "Mom, don't worry, I wouldn't do that." My kids are no longer little, but sometimes I still sit them down and give them advice. And still, most times they will reassure me I don't have to worry about them. But with age comes wisdom, and I know the hearts of us sinful humans- we often have the best intentions of not falling or failing, but we aren't fail-proof. 
     This brings me to a story about Peter found in Luke 22. Peter loved Jesus, and was one of His twelve disciples. He left everything he had to serve and follow Him. And while Peter did some pretty great things, he was still just human, capable of messing up. Jesus knew it, and He knows it about me, too! While they were sitting together, Jesus told Peter he would betray Him- not once, but three times. And just like my own kids, Peter doubted this could be true of him. He passionately argued that it couldn't be so- he said, "Lord, I would go with you to both prison, and to death." (Luke 22:33 ESV). He was basically saying, "NO WAY! I would go to prison for You, and I would die for You. I would never deny You." But we know the rest of the story, and we know that he does indeed deny Him three times. We also know how full of sadness and sorrow he was, when he realized what he had done. He never would've believed it possible, but God knows our hearts.
     What have you denied was possible for you? I am confident that had my husband been warned of the consequences of being unfaithful, he would have reassured whoever was speaking with him. He would have told them not to worry, it wouldn't happen to him. We don't often see the truth of our weakness, and don't believe our sinful nature is really as ugly as it is. We think we are better and stronger than we naturally are. 
     There are things I have sworn I would never do- and I can tell you, I've done them. It's easy to shake our heads in shame at those who fall, and fail to see there is the same capacity within me. While it never excuses infidelity, or any other sin, it does help us to understand we are all fallible people- people that need God to be our strength and His Spirit to be our conscience. I pray for eyes and a heart like Jesus, and if I see someone who falls to sin, that I'll reach out my hand to help them up, rather than shake my head and walk away! Just as Peter went on to do great things for the kingdom of God after his betrayal of Jesus, so can anyone else! I love that our God gives second chances- I'm living proof of this wonderful truth!

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9 ESV
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 ESV
For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." Mark 7:21-23 ESV
I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, my heart is capable of sin and deceit. Help me to recognize that, and to follow You in my life, and not seek my own way. Help me to lift up my brothers and sisters that fall, and not turn my back on them. Help me to know that without Your leading, I could be in the same position myself. Jesus, we need You each moment of each day, in Your name I pray, Amen!
     

I Can't do This!

     I am a slow learner, but man, I am learning. I think back on a "pre-mom me", and I hear myself saying that I couldn't handle losing a pregnancy- then I walked that journey not once, but twice! I see myself through the years telling my own husband and others I could never forgive an affair, and certainly couldn't deal with that, and what do you know? I think it's our feeble attempt at almost telling God, not me- that is too big for me to handle. And I think that's true, for the most part.
     Life is going to have its share of trials and hard times. It can't really be any different when we live in a world touched by sin, and its consequences. I have wished to fast forward through those more difficult days and seasons, but then I would miss the lessons in them. When it comes to the bigger heartaches in life, we will struggle even more if we don't find a source of strength. The world places a lot of emphasis on physical strength, and while it has a benefit to us, it won't help us through those harder days. And since I go to the gym out of necessity over enjoyment, I'm pretty glad it isn't that kind of strength I will need in order to survive hardships.
     I know people talk about how God won't give you more than you can handle, and I don't necessarily think that is true. Because when we are relying on Him to fight our battles, we will find that our strength doesn't really matter, but His does. I think a better way of putting it is like this - He won't give us more than He can handle. Because when it comes to the really hard stuff in life, like adultery, I am going to need strength much bigger than my own. In those moments, it won't be me that will carry myself through them, it will be my Heavenly Father!
     I think the Apostle Paul got it. He talked about how in his weakness, he could be strong. When I allow myself to be weak, and just give it over to God to handle, I am the strongest I can be! So when people talk to me about my strength, it truly isn't mine you are seeing, it's His! There is so much comfort in knowing that no matter what life presents, I won't have to handle it alone. No matter how I may struggle against the difficult things, I need to remember that if I truly want to be victorious over them, I must let the Source of my strength handle it for me. And I'm learning something else, too -never say never!

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 ESV
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Ephesians 6:10 ESV
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear of be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for the strength You give me. I am not able to do some of the harder things on my own. You challenge us to give up our own will, and allow You to transform us with Your strength and power. I thank You for that marvelous gift- which enables me to handle what I could not, apart from You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen! 
     

Anxiety and Infidelity

     Maybe you're someone who has struggled with worry and anxiety throughout your life, and maybe you even know the particular anxiety associated with infidelity. Since I was a little girl, I have been known to be anxious. A new school year, an oral report in college, a first date, or a dentist appointment (even a cleaning because they might say I have a cavity) can make my heart race, and keep me awake at night. I spent the early morning of my wedding day sick to my stomach because I would be the focus of attention for the day. A broken tooth or a root canal, could put me in cardiac distress;) 
     I have always been frustrated with anxiety, and wished for a way to get rid of it. I tried prayer, and I still worried- and I hated that. I tried medication, and it did help a lot, but I still worried. I asked God to help me have greater faith and trust, and had no idea how that would occur. When my husband left initially, and even just prior to that day, I was the most anxious I had ever been before. 
     There are so many problems and scenarios that run through the brain of a betrayed spouse. There are numerous questions in the "why" category- why did he do this, why did I not notice sooner, and why am I not enough? Then there were the "what" questions- what will I do, what should I say to people, what about our children, and what will ultimately happen? And then the "how" questions- "how will I support myself, how could he leave us, how can a christian do this, and how will I ever be ok? So many issues caused a feeling of restlessness and fear, and yet I knew God's presence with me.
     When you face the tougher things in life, we find out a lot about our faith- not faith that I belong to God (I knew that I did), but faith in His ability to handle 100% of my burdens. I realized that my faith was weak, and my worry was a result of trying to handle things bigger than me. If I didn't know Christ as my Savior, then the burdens are mine to figure out. But when I serve the Almighty God, I am foolish to carry my own burdens, when He wants me to hand them over to Him. 
     For most of a year, I struggled against handing my anxious thoughts, and worries, over to Jesus. I felt a need for control that I found out, I never really had. While my husband was warring against Satan in one way, I was warring against him in another- he was using my worries to cause me to doubt the ability of my Heavenly Father. When I recognized this, it was such a relief to know that I could just give up. Not giving up in defeat, but simply letting go of trying to control the outcome of my marriage, and just leaving it with God. When I was able to come to this place, I knew that whatever God had for me, was the absolute best, and I would be content with whatever that was. Will I ever worry again? I am sure that I will (especially at the dentist). But I hope I can look back to this time in my life when I was so aware of my inability, and He displayed His perfect ability to fight my battles for me. 

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 ESV
I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 ESV
So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:6 ESV
Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to lay down each burden, as I get them. I am unable to handle them properly on my own, but You are perfectly capable. Forgive me for feebly trying to manage my troubles, and then falling to anxious thoughts. Lord, Your power and authority make You the perfect solution to our troubles, and so I place them at Your feet. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Embarrassed by a Failed Marriage

     We can say it over and over again, but it just isn't true. We DO care what others think of us. It's nice to pretend we don't, and to tell others it doesn't matter, but it doesn't make it true. While there is definite shame for the unfaithful spouse, I felt it as well. 
     I didn't realize it before, but my marital security and integrity were important to my pride. I like to appear to have it all together. I want others to see that my life is neat and tidy. I don't want to appear flawed and messy. I don't leave my house without make-up. I usually go to the grocery store in nice clothes, and freshly washed and styled hair. I like a clean car and a clean house. I want others to see my kids behaving. I want them to believe my husband is amazing, and that together, we have a great thing going. What I came to realize is this- I stunk of pride.
     Why I held myself to this ridiculous standard, I don't know. But I do know that when our marriage fell apart, it further crushed my proud spirit, and caused embarrassment. What would people think? What will they say? I wanted to hide my marriage problems, because I was ashamed that I fell short of what others may think of me. How crazy this thought process was, and how short it fell from living in a meek and humble spirit. And a further shot to the heart is the reminder of what God says about pride- He hates it.
     When I think of how Jesus lived, it is deeply humbling. He came from a poor family, in a nondescript town. He didn't have monetary possessions. He spent time with sinners. He had only one possession at the cross- His garment. This man, Who was God in flesh, had not one stitch of pride in His character, and He had every right to. When I think of His attitude, and then I see mine, I drop my head in shame. Shame that isn't about my circumstances, but about my heart. My pride had to be humbled if I were to serve Him the way He wants me to.
     When I could release myself from the expectations I placed on myself, I felt a burden lifted. I still wear my make-up, and get dressed for the grocery store, but I'm not afraid to tell my story. I tell others that I'm messy and broken, and how God's grace is working in my life and my marriage. I don't try to hide my story from others, and felt relief at sharing our struggles. And when I let go of my pride, and allowed myself to be authentic about my situation, I found so many others that could relate to me. I didn't feel that connection when I lived in my pride, but I felt it when I allowed myself to be broken- just like everyone else. 

For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Galatians 6:3 ESV
Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. Proverbs 18:12 ESV
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3 ESV
The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rock, in your lofty dwelling, who say in your heart, "Who will bring me down to the ground?" Obadiah 1:3 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to live humbly before others, acknowledging my failures and shortcomings. These are things that show my need of You, and Your perfect ability to help me overcome them. I thank You for caring enough for me to show me my prideful heart, and change it. Help me to share my story with others, so they can see You woven throughout it. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Limbo- A Season of Waiting

     I am not one known for patience. I can be patient with people, but when it comes to life, I don't like to wait. If I decide to paint a bedroom on a whim, chances are the walls will be that color within 48 hours time. That's just me. If I have a spectacular gift for someone, I could be persuaded to give it early, because the anticipation kills me. So when I was called to wait on an ultimate answer for which direction my marriage would take, I was restless and impatient. I like quick fixes, not long periods of limbo. 
     I begged God for a quick fix. I wanted immediate answers. But quick fixes and immediate answers do not build trust in God. There are lessons in the season of limbo that we don't want to miss. As much as I wanted release from this season of pain, God wanted to change my heart and build up my faith in Him. As humans, we don't like painful seasons, but what can come out of them is beautiful. 
     In the time since my husband first left, there have been good days and bad days. We have drawn closer at times, and then torn apart again. Some days I believed we would reconcile, and others I wondered if it would end with a day in a lawyer's office, signing papers. My mind was in turmoil, and I grappled with gaining some sort of control over the situation. But God had other plans for me, and wanted to remind me Who is in control, and Who is best in control. 
     What I learned is that limbo is an opportunity. A quick release from my situation would have never grown my faith in God. I would have learned that life can right itself, and move on without really knowing Him. If you have never lived in a painful season of limbo, then you unfortunately don't know God in the same way. That's not to lessen your relationship with Him, but painful seasons draw us to His strength, comfort, hope, and voice, in a whole new way. 
     It's hard to not know our future regarding our marriages, but in reality, our future isn't known to us anyways. What can seem secure and permanent, can be removed in a moment. No matter what your situation is, God wants us to trust Him. If it's scary, and dark, and uncertain- trust Him. If it's bright, and promising, and optimistic- trust Him. Our circumstances don't define God's trustworthiness. Our marriages don't change His faithfulness. What we can know, and where we can find security, is in Him alone. If we are putting our faith and trust in anything or anyone else, we will experience disappointment. When we trust God in those low places, we will find the strength and courage to rise from them, knowing He is changing our character for His good purposes. So, if you're waiting, wait with patience- His will for you will be the very best, and worth waiting for!

The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. Lamentations 3:25 ESV
Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! Psalm 27:14 ESV
But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 ESV
Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. Psalm 33:20 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to learn to trust You in all situations. It can be so hard to wait for answers, and yet You can use waiting to build my faith. While we don't know what tomorrow holds, we do know You are faithfully there. May I seek to follow Your will for my life, knowing any other way will lead to disappointment and pain. I thank You for being in my todays, and my tomorrows. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Bearing one another's Burdens

     You may remember the Bible story about Moses and his friends, Aaron and Hur. Here is a scripture reference that gives you a good picture of what they did for him:
But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. Exodus 17:12 ESV
During a battle, the Israelites were only winning while Moses held up his arms. Can you even imagine trying to hold your arms up for an entire day?  Now, I love some Zumba, and one class I take is called Zumba Tone. For one hour, we do Zumba dances while we hold light weights above our heads. When you initially hold them up, it's super easy, but after an hour, yikes- I need Aaron and Hur!
     I have been in a battle for my marriage over a year, and along the way, my arms grew weary. It was an experience that led to emotional exhaustion. There is no way I could hold up my arms that long without help. Along came my Aaron and Hur in the form of family, friends, and fellow believers. They came in droves, bringing kind words, encouragement, food, hugs, and prayers. They sat with me, invited me over, cried with me, and held me up. They didn't come for a couple days or weeks- they remained in the battle with me. I will always be grateful for those who helped carry my burden. When we come alongside someone who has a burden, we are living out a scriptural command (Galatians 6:2), and lightening the load for them.
     If you are in a battle, no matter what you're fighting against, share your burden with others. We are notorious for trying to handle our own problems, feeling it's a sign of weakness to ask for help. When we carry a heavy load, we will feel anxious, stressed, and afraid. But when we allow others to share our burdens, we feel more equipped to handle them in a healthy way. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. When we don't ask for help, we are often too afraid to show we are vulnerable, just like everyone else. 
     For me, I needed people to pray for me. I wanted a few who could talk me through the more difficult times. I longed for a dinner companion. I needed financial advice. The bathroom fan stopped working, and I'm hopeless with that sort of thing. I had friends that encouraged me in my new business venture, and gave advice. People slept over when I was lonely or afraid. These were simple acts of kindness that spoke of their love for me, and lightened my load. Friends, share your burdens so that others can exercise the truth of Galatians 6:2 (see below). And if you see someone with a burden, be Aaron and Hur to them- even if it's coming to Zumba with me. 

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 ESV
Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22 ESV
The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to share my burdens with others. We often let fear and pride hold us back, but we can't carry our burdens well on our own. Help me to allow others to know my needs, so they can carry out the truth we find in scripture. And always, Lord, help me remember You long for us to give our burdens over into Your capable hands. Thank you for Your willingness to bear them for us, Lord. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
      

If You had only Been Here, Lord

     Life has its many ups and downs. Messes that seem impossible to fix. Hurts that are so deep, it seems they can never heal. The news is full of heartbreaking stories. But when pain touches your own life and home, hope can seem far away. Even harder- God seems far away. Why would God let this happen to me?
     This verse is on my heart this morning : "Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." John 11:21 ESV. When our lives turn upside down, we quickly point our fingers towards Jesus, saying, "where are You in this? Why are you allowing this in my life?" Broken families, broken marriages, and broken hearts- these are all things He cares about, and yet they happen, even with Christians. Martha was frustrated with Jesus, and chastised Him for not being present, resulting in the death of her brother, Lazarus. His absence had a great cost to her!
     Why are we so quick to ask God where He is in the dark part of our journeys? Has He ever proven Himself to be unfaithful to us? Before God sent us the Holy Spirit, it was true that Jesus wasn't physically present with Martha, Mary and Lazarus at his passing. For those of us who are His children, that can never be true. While we would love to place blame on God for allowing painful things to happen, it doesn't belong there. 
     When I allow myself to be distanced from His Spirit, I am in trouble. My marriage has greatly suffered from His absence in it. It isn't possible for both the husband and the wife to be walking close to the Lord, and land in hot water. We would love to place the blame anywhere, but on ourselves. We can't say- "Lord, if you had only been here..". We CAN say, "Lord, if I had only stayed with You." 
     If you are walking through a fiery trial, understand that as believers, He is with us. You are not alone on this rough part of your path. Jesus is present, and He longs for us to acknowledge His faithful Spirit. Jesus experienced betrayal from every single one of us, and yet He loves us still. It makes no sense, this love of our Savior. So today, step back from your painful circumstances, and look for Him- He is in it with us! He is carrying us when we are too weak to take another step, and just as He brought life back to Lazarus, He will bring us into the light and life of His love and hope! 

Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20 ESV
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, we know You are never absent from us, and we confess we often stray from You. We quickly land in trouble when our lives aren't grounded in You. Help me to seek You in all of my life circumstances, knowing You are there, and You love me. Help me never to place blame on You for sin, and to accept blame when it's mine to own. When others hurt me with their choices- again, help me to know it isn't from You. Help me to grow in my relationship with You, knowing I will find Your strength there to carry me through these dark days. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Satan's Attack on my Marriage- Part One

     We were "that couple".. the one serving the Lord, useful in our community, living out the truth of God's Word in our home, and faithful to our church testimony. We were interested in spreading the gospel and demonstrating the love of God to others. Satan doesn't go after the quiet christians that pose no threat to his evil schemes. He wants to take down those that are building up God's kingdom, and destroy their usefulness to the Lord. One specific area of attack is on a godly marriage, which is just what happened to us.
     Is it worth living for the Lord if we are opening ourselves up to attack from Satan? Is it better to just lay low and keep quiet about the gospel and how God works in our lives? If we are silent and not living a testimony for Jesus, we lose eternal rewards. That is a pretty high price to pay for momentary "peace". We hold knowledge of the most powerful truth there is- Jesus died to set us free from sin! Being active in God's work will always be the best path for our lives, no matter where it seems to take us on our journey. We CAN arm ourselves against Satan's attacks, knowing they will come. It's when we don't properly arm ourselves that we will quickly find ourselves in trouble.
     Apart from personal daily scripture reading and prayer, what else can we do to protect our marriages? Do you read and pray with your spouse? Do you spend time together alone? Do you make each other a priority? Do you take vacations, just the two of you? Do you build one another up, and encourage each other? Do you seek the spiritual good of your husband or wife? Do you make intimacy a priority? Do you talk about your day in detail? When a spouse is not # 2 (# 1 is the Lord, not yourself;) there will be problems. If you assign yourself as #1, you are really in trouble. This is what happened in my marriage, and the sting of it hurts!
     We live in a world that has distorted marriage. Our world is selfish and sinful, and its effects are felt in God's definition of marriage. Marriage isn't a "unless I find something I want more" kind of thing, it was meant for the remainder of our lives. The Bible specifically says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Marriage is a life long commitment, and one we should take seriously. Satan loves to pose situations and people as opposition to what God has planned for us. He offers a woman or man that SEEMS like a much better fit. If we are not armed with God's Word, and living in constant communication with Him, we open ourselves up to his evil plans for us. God's plans for us are good, but Satan's are evil. Why would we ever choose what isn't God's best for us? The results of giving in to Satan's evil plans are so far reaching, and traumatic to all involved. The price for this sin is so very high! Be on alert, dear friends! The damage to falling is ugly and painful, and completely avoidable! Tomorrow, we will touch more on how Satan blinds even believers to sin. But for today, let's look at these scriptures for help in arming ourselves against Satan's battle for our marriages, and our usefulness to Christ. 

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.1 Peter 5:8 ESV
In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; Ephesians 6:16 ESV
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. Romans 13:14 ESV
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Ephesians 6:13 ESV
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to guard ourselves, and arm ourselves against the attacks of Satan. We know they will come, and we want to be ready. Help us to have the courage to stand firm in our faith, and to stay committed to our marriages in a world that puts little value in what You ordained. Help us to recognize the voices that speak to us, and may Your voice always be louder than Satan's. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!