Let me introduce you to the "high school me". I'll grow up and travel the world. I'll be a travel agent and marry later, after I get my business established. I'll be a mom- 3 or 4 kids. I'll be successful, forever thin, and live a happy, carefree life. I'll find time to spend with God, and manage to make an impact on other's lives. I'll stay healthy. I'll marry a perfect guy. Blah, blah, blah- how unrealistic I was.
Goals are good, and I encourage them in others- specifically my children and myself. But while it's true that goals are good, and having a future vision important, it's also true that things often don't go as we planned. I'm living proof of this statement, because I'll now introduce you to "grown up me". I did graduate with a bachelor's degree- in social work/sociology. I am not a travel agent, but I sure like to travel. I am blessed to have two children after the loss of two pregnancies. I didn't foresee those losses, and they sure were painful. I am usually in need of losing ten pounds- sometimes more. There have been times when I didn't feel close to God, usually because I allowed too much extra stuff to crowd Him out. And I did marry a great guy- he's perfect for me, but we've had our struggles. One of the biggest unplanned life events we faced together, was infidelity. That wasn't supposed to be on my agenda- but it was.
The truth is, we usually have detours- life experiences that we never expected to be a part of our story. We wouldn't ever choose these painful parts of our story, but oftentimes, we need them. I know I do. Had I lived that high school version of myself, I wouldn't be where I am today! I wouldn't have experienced God's love, grace and mercy to the extend that I have, and frankly, that would be a loss. Losing pregnancies made me appreciate my children. Losing my husband, made me appreciate a restored marriage. Losing weight would also be cool, but hey, you can't have it all;)
How we handle our detours is crucial in our spiritual walk with our Father. We may not have planned those detours, but He knew they would be a part of our journey. He equips us to handle them. He gives us what He can handle, not what we can handle on our own. We are supposed to learn things from our trials. We are supposed to grow. We should learn more about who He is. And our goal should be to become more like Jesus- humble, compassionate, loving, forgiving and kind. Sometimes we may become shocked and alarmed at the way our story goes, and struggle to understand the "why". When we stay locked in that place, we won't experience the growth God wants for us through those bends in the road. We won't know Him better, and we won't be more like Him.
If you're walking through a detour right now, wondering why, try to shift your focus. Instead, think of ways God will use this detour to point others to Him. Allow His strength to be witnessed in your own walk, so that others may desire to know the Source of that strength. Don't allow Satan to trip you up, blaming God for your hardships. While God doesn't relish the pain you're experiencing, He does want to use it for His glory. Life often doesn't turn out the way we thought it would. But when it doesn't, our response to the detour has great power. May God help us to illuminate His light through the dark bends in the road, and that others may want to know Him, through our own walk through the valley.
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit."- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. James 4:13-14 (ESV)
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:3-4 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to allow You to handle the bumps in the road that feel too big for me. May I not become full of anxiety, wishing to quickly make it to safer ground, without really experiencing how You work in those detours. Help me to trust You when my world takes a painful spin, and to know You will bring me through. Help me be a living witness of what You have done for me. In Your name I pray, Jesus, Amen!
If you've been following the story of my husband's deliverance, you read about him sending a text to me the morning after he discovered my blog. I woke up early that morning and noticed a long text from him, and was curious about the subject, but also thinking it was probably about moving forward with a divorce. I expected it, and was prepared with a lawyer, some information, and complete heartache.
Instead, God gave me a window into a hope I wasn't expecting- a text filled with real sorrow and tenderness. While I had received plenty of texts throughout the year- some good and some bad, this one seemed genuine and different. It was different in that I expected only anger from his discovery of my blog... but here he was telling me about how it made him feel after the initial anger wore off. He mentioned shame, guilt and remorse. He offered words of apology and sorrow over his actions.
The one thing that stood out to me in his text was a feeling of hopelessness- that he felt he was forever ruined, and that tore at my heart. When you know God, and Satan isn't getting in the way with lies, you know that we are never beyond His grace and forgiveness. He loves us with a love so much greater than our human minds can comprehend. I longed for him to remember His grace, and I longed for him to remember how loved he was, and always would be. No matter what we do, no matter how far we fall, God's love is consistently the same. He doesn't love us more when we are obedient, and He doesn't love us less when we aren't.
At this point, I wasn't sure where this would go, but I got to praying right away, and asked a few of my prayer partners to join me. These wonderful prayer partners were with me through the whole journey, and I know they pray for us still- for healing and recovery! I had no idea of the spiritual battle that would ensue in the day and days ahead, but God faithfully pursued His lost sheep, and brought him not only back to the fold- but in time, back to me as well!
If you're in a situation that feels hopeless, I want to challenge you to believe that with our God, no situation is hopeless. There were days my hope wavered, but when we believe the promises He makes to us in scripture, we can rest in knowing this - He will prevail in all circumstances. He is good no matter how bad today may feel. Friend, don't give up believing He will deliver you! As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, He is faithful to His Word. Trust Him while you wait- and know your day of deliverance will come!
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 ESV
"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Psalm 39:7 ESV
But if we wait for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:25 ESV
Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off. Proverbs 23:18 ESV
Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD! Psalm 31:24 ESV
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for keeping Your promises to us. We make promises and fail to keep them, but I can always count on You to keep Yours. On days when it seems impossible, on days when it seems unbearable- let me hold fast to Your promises of hope and deliverance. Your unfailing love is my constant source of joy, and I thank You for loving me faithfully. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
