Let me introduce you to the "high school me". I'll grow up and travel the world. I'll be a travel agent and marry later, after I get my business established. I'll be a mom- 3 or 4 kids. I'll be successful, forever thin, and live a happy, carefree life. I'll find time to spend with God, and manage to make an impact on other's lives. I'll stay healthy. I'll marry a perfect guy. Blah, blah, blah- how unrealistic I was.
Goals are good, and I encourage them in others- specifically my children and myself. But while it's true that goals are good, and having a future vision important, it's also true that things often don't go as we planned. I'm living proof of this statement, because I'll now introduce you to "grown up me". I did graduate with a bachelor's degree- in social work/sociology. I am not a travel agent, but I sure like to travel. I am blessed to have two children after the loss of two pregnancies. I didn't foresee those losses, and they sure were painful. I am usually in need of losing ten pounds- sometimes more. There have been times when I didn't feel close to God, usually because I allowed too much extra stuff to crowd Him out. And I did marry a great guy- he's perfect for me, but we've had our struggles. One of the biggest unplanned life events we faced together, was infidelity. That wasn't supposed to be on my agenda- but it was.
The truth is, we usually have detours- life experiences that we never expected to be a part of our story. We wouldn't ever choose these painful parts of our story, but oftentimes, we need them. I know I do. Had I lived that high school version of myself, I wouldn't be where I am today! I wouldn't have experienced God's love, grace and mercy to the extend that I have, and frankly, that would be a loss. Losing pregnancies made me appreciate my children. Losing my husband, made me appreciate a restored marriage. Losing weight would also be cool, but hey, you can't have it all;)
How we handle our detours is crucial in our spiritual walk with our Father. We may not have planned those detours, but He knew they would be a part of our journey. He equips us to handle them. He gives us what He can handle, not what we can handle on our own. We are supposed to learn things from our trials. We are supposed to grow. We should learn more about who He is. And our goal should be to become more like Jesus- humble, compassionate, loving, forgiving and kind. Sometimes we may become shocked and alarmed at the way our story goes, and struggle to understand the "why". When we stay locked in that place, we won't experience the growth God wants for us through those bends in the road. We won't know Him better, and we won't be more like Him.
If you're walking through a detour right now, wondering why, try to shift your focus. Instead, think of ways God will use this detour to point others to Him. Allow His strength to be witnessed in your own walk, so that others may desire to know the Source of that strength. Don't allow Satan to trip you up, blaming God for your hardships. While God doesn't relish the pain you're experiencing, He does want to use it for His glory. Life often doesn't turn out the way we thought it would. But when it doesn't, our response to the detour has great power. May God help us to illuminate His light through the dark bends in the road, and that others may want to know Him, through our own walk through the valley.
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit."- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. James 4:13-14 (ESV)
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:3-4 (ESV)
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to allow You to handle the bumps in the road that feel too big for me. May I not become full of anxiety, wishing to quickly make it to safer ground, without really experiencing how You work in those detours. Help me to trust You when my world takes a painful spin, and to know You will bring me through. Help me be a living witness of what You have done for me. In Your name I pray, Jesus, Amen!
If we are all honest, we're guilty, at times, of offering up short-sighted prayers. We pray for the things we want today. We pray for things that will make us happy now. We pray for things that will make us comfortable and remove any current pain we may be experiencing. From the earliest memories of my prayer life, God has heard a lot from me about what I want, and not nearly enough about what He wants. I'm often guilty of having Ruth-vision, instead of God-vision.
Oh how thankful I am, for a God who understands my heart, shallow as it can be. I know He understands my prayers, and hurts when I am hurting. But when I was faced with a broken marriage, my short-sighted prayers were thrown at the feet of Jesus with a feverish pace. "Lord, help me through this day. Dear Jesus, restore my marriage. Heavenly Father, change his heart. Lord Jesus, change my heart. God, help me!" I longed for Him to remove my problems and pain immediately. My prayers were about my comfort, but sometimes, God moves us out of our comfortable state on purpose.
Imagine if I learned to pray with far-sighted vision. One that asked for things like, "Lord, exercise my faith in You!" Or, "God, thank You for allowing me to experience pain and loss so that I may use it to relate to others who are walking in similar trials." Maybe even this- "Jesus, use this for as long as You feel it necessary, so that I may be more like You, and point others to You!" These are prayers that we are afraid to pray, because the reality is- these prayers will cost us.
Honestly, it's a lot easier to pray this way when you've already reached the other side of a particular battle. We pray that God will use what happened to us for His glory, in our more comfortable state of relief and victory. But in the thick of our heartache, these are hard words to say. I take comfort in the prayer of Jesus when faced with the looming sacrifice of His life on the cross. He prayed, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup (of suffering) pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39 ESV). Of course none of us like suffering, loss, or pain- not even Jesus. But in our obedience to faithfully enduring a trial or hardship, we are living with God-vision. When we pray with an attitude of seeking God's will in a situation (including His timing), we are praying a far-sighted prayer.
This angle of prayer takes courage and faith in our Heavenly Father. It will oftentimes cost us our comfort and our current happiness. But it won't ever cost us our security, when we realize we are always secure in Christ- our unchangeable foundation. And it won't cost us our joy, when we recognize that joy is found in Christ alone. I don't write these words as an authority on always praying with far-sightedness, because it's an honest struggle for me, as well. But in the middle of our battles, we will never be sorry when we pray for His will to be done. While we may flounder at understanding His ways on this side of eternity, one day it will be crystal clear. We will see all the pieces come together in one giant story of redemption- and our own obedience will show its evidence in God's master plan. What an honor it will be when we see how our little part in the bigger story allowed for His glory to be revealed. God help me to pray with a heart that seeks Your vision, and not mine!
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Matthew 6:10 ESV
For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:36 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to transform my prayer life in accordance with Your will for me, and not my own. I confess that I love to live a life of comfort, free from suffering. But there is a cost associated with an easy life, and the cost is the loss of being molded into someone more like You. Help me to pray with God-vision, and not my own vision. In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen!
I am one that finds change unsettling. I like familiar. I don't find bumps in the road exciting, most of the time. I like my routines- not that I don't like vacations from routine, but there is comfort in doing the same things. Familiar feels safe and soothing, while unexpected jolts can be frightening and worrisome.
While I know there are never guarantees for tomorrow, I still have dreams of my future. I think it's normal and healthy to prepare for what is ahead, and when I see myself years down the road, I had a vision. I saw my husband and I celebrating the weddings of our children, hand in hand. I could see grandbabies, and the joy they would bring us. I envisioned trips to Grandma and Grandpa's house, and all the spoiling we would do, together. I saw bucket list trips we would enjoy in our later years, when the kids were gone, and it was quieter around here. I saw years of caring for one another, and serving our Lord together. But I never imagined this wouldn't be so- by choice.
I understand that my future vision could change from an accident or illness. But what I didn't see, was that it could be altered from a failure to commit. I never looked into my golden years, seeing all of this unfold as separate entities- my life, and his life. And yet, when an affair presented itself, I was no longer certain of what could be. I envisioned all of those future events with tension. How would we act towards one another? How would we learn to have a new relationship, outside of marriage? These were not things I enjoyed thinking of, and prayed that somehow, God will enable me to have the strength to live whatever He had for me, faithfully.
Life often presents us with "different", doesn't it? We are going along our merry way, and BAM- we get hit with unexpected twists and turns we weren't anticipating. Some changes are good, and exciting, and others bring us heartache and pain. I find such comfort in the faithfulness of God. He is with me today, and whatever tomorrow presents, He will be there as well. While we can't know exactly what our future holds, we can know He will meet us there. Life isn't predictable. But I am ever grateful for a God who is unchanging! So as I look ahead at my future, I can release the tension I feel at the unknown, and trust that He will lovingly care for all that is ahead for me!
But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15 ESV
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV
Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Psalm 36:5 ESV
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, while I can feel afraid at times, at what lies ahead, help me to remember that You will meet me there. I never have to fear that You will leave me, or let me down. No matter what comes my way, You are faithfully with me- loving, guarding, guiding and protecting. Thank You for your faithfulness to me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
