We all have life dreams- things we think of and wish for with all our hearts. Some want to be an actor. Some, a surgeon. Another may wish to take a ride out in space or a submarine into the depths of the ocean. Having goals is great and gives us something to work towards. For me, I wanted to be a wife and a mom. Having babies of my own was one thing I looked forward to, and assumed it would happen without much effort. I wanted to marry my best friend (and I did), and then settle into raising our babies.
While having dreams is a great thing, we often find that chasing them will lead us down paths of heartache. It isn't to say we shouldn't have our dreams, but things don't always happen easily, or the way we imagined they would. It's in these times God is working to exercise our faith and calling us to trust Him. But sometimes in those seasons, we often lose focus of our faith and instead, feel fear and disappointment.
My first pregnancy came without many months of trying. I was elated and couldn't wait for maternity clothes (they were ugly back in the day, mind you), lamaze classes, baby showers and all the fun leading up to Delivery Day. I remember the excitement of my first ultrasound at 16 weeks. The doctor had told me we would likely find out the sex of our baby at this visit, and I could hardly wait. I'll never forget how the anticipation and excitement of this day turned to heartache and sadness. On January 4th of 1995, we learned that our little one had passed away in the womb and would be surgically removed the following day. Disbelief and disappointment were very real that day and the months that would follow. Further heartache would come a few days later when my milk came in with no little one to feed. That was a tough valley in life, and one I never expected to experience.
After a couple months, we found out we were pregnant again. I was excited, but didn't feel well and had a feeling that things weren't right again this time. On April the 8th of 1995, I came home from the grocery store cramping and feeling anxious. Within an hour, I was headed to the Emergency Room to see yet again, that our second child was in Heaven without us. A long season of waiting followed- a season filled with sadness and grief. Everyone around me seemed to be pregnant and having healthy babies, and my arms were empty. I was truly happy for them, but hurting for what I had lost.
Prior to infidelity in our marriage, this season was our biggest challenge. And just as God worked in restoring our marriage, He worked to repair my wounded heart decades earlier when we were faced with infertility. The same God that cared for our marriage, cared for us in those years of wondering and waiting. Sometimes He gives us our own biological children, and sometimes He asks us to care for little ones that are in need of a mom and dad- either are a huge privilege and responsibility. But God hears our prayers for a child, and He makes a way for us to hear those precious words from the lips of a child- "Mom" or "Dad". If you know the pain and disappointment of infertility, my heart hurts for you- it's a difficult road to travel, and one many know all too well.
I'll never forget the day I first held my firstBORN son- a treasure and a true gift from God. And two years later, He blessed us with a little girl. On this day- 24 years after the second miscarriage, I'm reflecting on my Faithful God. He's been so good to me- to us. Yes, He's allowed us seasons of pain- but in them, I've found a faithful and loving Father. This Father is intimately involved in my little world. He cared for my empty arms and filled them. He cared for my empty heart when my husband had left home, and He led him back to us. How good is God- a God who loves, cares, provides, comforts, encourages and restores. If you don't know Him- I hope today you'll make it your mission to seek Him. Scripture tells us that when we seek Him, and search for Him with all our heart, we will find Him. You'll never be the same, and you'll never be sorry- and better yet- you'll never be alone!
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3 ESV
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! Psalm 27:13-14 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, be with those who are facing infertility today. Give them comfort, peace and Your love as they wait on You. Thank You, Father, for hearing our own cries and for blessing us with a family. Thank You for restoring our marriage and for working so intimately in our lives. We are humbled by Your love and care, and thank You for the hope only You can give. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Showing posts with label dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dad. Show all posts
Monday, April 8, 2019
Sunday, January 20, 2019
Broken Home- Broken Kids
I am a mama bear when it comes to my babies. My babies really aren't babies- they are in their early 20's, but to me, they will always be my babies. If you hurt them, it hurts me more. I would walk through fire for them, and slay dragons for them, if they existed. I don't like to see them disappointed or hurt, and most parents feel the same way.
One of Satan's biggest lies, regarding separation and divorce, is that it's better for the kids this way. Unless we are talking an abusive relationship, I don't buy that lie. I witnessed the change in my children, and the devastating effect it had on them- and it wasn't for the better. Their security was shattered, their role model was tarnished, and their lives were forever changed by infidelity.
My kids grew up in a home centered on Jesus, and the principles of God's Word. They were told from the earliest age that we would always be together, and they didn't have to worry about divorce in our home. We told them we were 100% committed to one another, and would always remain that way. So they didn't worry- it wasn't in the cards for our family. They saw their friends families broken, but never feared it would happen to us. So when it did, it was completely unexpected, and an absolute shock.
Our children are a gift to us. They look up to us, and a stable upbringing is so important for a healthy mind. I will never forget the looks on the faces of our kids when they were told by their dad he was choosing to leave. If I could stop right here, and just reach out to any reader that may be on the side of having an affair- PLEASE COUNT THE COST! And for any other reader- GUARD YOUR MARRIAGE, PLEASE! Infidelity causes so much pain, and steals so much, from so many.
While there is a lot of brokenness in our family and home, we serve a God of restoration. If you are a christian, you've witnessed how He changed you when He brought you out of darkness, into His light. This same God can do this with marriages, and families. He can't do it without our cooperation, but apart from Him, I have no doubt we would remain broken. Relationships have to be rebuilt, and trust and respect will be a process. While I am a fan of quick fixes, there isn't one for a home assaulted by infidelity.
While a quick fix isn't possible, a long term solution is. In Him, there is always hope when we are willing. If you are both willing, the first key is to have God at the center of all that is ahead. If you try to use any substitute for the Holy Spirit, the results will be lacking. Be there for your kids as a safe place to share feelings, and give them love and support. Encourage counseling and foster an open line of communication with them. While we will at times fail our kids as parents, our Heavenly Father never will. We have the perfect example in Him, and the perfect Parent. We will fall short of His example, but with His guidance, and our obedience to Him, we can repair what was broken. It may never be the same, but there is a possibility for something better- and only God can do that.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3 ESV
Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, Titus 2:7 ESV
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 ESV
"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27 ESV
You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. You will increase my greatness and comfort me again. Psalm 71:20-21
Dear Heavenly Father, help our children who are hurting from our choices, and those of our spouses. Help us to be there for them, and show them unconditional love and support. Give healing and restoration, as only You can. I thank You for the precious gift of our children. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
One of Satan's biggest lies, regarding separation and divorce, is that it's better for the kids this way. Unless we are talking an abusive relationship, I don't buy that lie. I witnessed the change in my children, and the devastating effect it had on them- and it wasn't for the better. Their security was shattered, their role model was tarnished, and their lives were forever changed by infidelity.
My kids grew up in a home centered on Jesus, and the principles of God's Word. They were told from the earliest age that we would always be together, and they didn't have to worry about divorce in our home. We told them we were 100% committed to one another, and would always remain that way. So they didn't worry- it wasn't in the cards for our family. They saw their friends families broken, but never feared it would happen to us. So when it did, it was completely unexpected, and an absolute shock.
Our children are a gift to us. They look up to us, and a stable upbringing is so important for a healthy mind. I will never forget the looks on the faces of our kids when they were told by their dad he was choosing to leave. If I could stop right here, and just reach out to any reader that may be on the side of having an affair- PLEASE COUNT THE COST! And for any other reader- GUARD YOUR MARRIAGE, PLEASE! Infidelity causes so much pain, and steals so much, from so many.
While there is a lot of brokenness in our family and home, we serve a God of restoration. If you are a christian, you've witnessed how He changed you when He brought you out of darkness, into His light. This same God can do this with marriages, and families. He can't do it without our cooperation, but apart from Him, I have no doubt we would remain broken. Relationships have to be rebuilt, and trust and respect will be a process. While I am a fan of quick fixes, there isn't one for a home assaulted by infidelity.
While a quick fix isn't possible, a long term solution is. In Him, there is always hope when we are willing. If you are both willing, the first key is to have God at the center of all that is ahead. If you try to use any substitute for the Holy Spirit, the results will be lacking. Be there for your kids as a safe place to share feelings, and give them love and support. Encourage counseling and foster an open line of communication with them. While we will at times fail our kids as parents, our Heavenly Father never will. We have the perfect example in Him, and the perfect Parent. We will fall short of His example, but with His guidance, and our obedience to Him, we can repair what was broken. It may never be the same, but there is a possibility for something better- and only God can do that.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3 ESV
Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, Titus 2:7 ESV
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 ESV
"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27 ESV
You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. You will increase my greatness and comfort me again. Psalm 71:20-21
Dear Heavenly Father, help our children who are hurting from our choices, and those of our spouses. Help us to be there for them, and show them unconditional love and support. Give healing and restoration, as only You can. I thank You for the precious gift of our children. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
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