Asking for Help

     If you are having marital difficulties strong enough to question your durability and commitment, it's probably time for counseling. If you are seriously unhappy with your spouse, it's time for counseling. If you can't seem to understand one another, and it's causing an issue, it's time for counseling. If you have one partner that has been sexually unfaithful, it's definitely time for counseling. 
While there are a myriad of issues that can benefit from counseling, I can say personally that a counselor is invaluable in helping sort out the mess in your mind, when it comes to adultery. I found it causes anxiety to keep things in, and it released tension to talk things through. I am so thankful for the availability of counseling, and the choices I had open to me. 
     I lived an entire 47 years before I ever darkened the door of a counseling center. I am fortunate to have not felt it necessary in my past, but when I was faced with infidelity, I needed an outlet for my thoughts and feelings. While I had many friends and family I was able to talk to about my situation, at least to a degree, they were all connected to one side or the other. I loved having a safe person to share my thoughts with who was completely outside of the situation. This person had the necessary training to make sense of the issues I was dealing with, and offer ways to cope in a positive way.
     Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Many people feel that they should be able to deal with life's struggles on their own, but many times, we just can't do it well. When we try to handle big things on our own, we often don't heal in a healthy way. Not only did I find a listening ear in my counselor, I found an invaluable friend. While I went for close to a year by myself, I am thankful to have sessions now with both of us present. A counselor is so helpful in opening up our eyes and hearts to the needs and feelings of our spouse. 
     You may have grown up hearing that counseling is a waste of time, or that you can fix any problem on your own. I want to encourage you to remove any old thought patterns you may have heard against it, and look into a good christian counselor. Once you go and connect with one, you will soon see the rewards for having someone professional and safe, giving guidance and encouragement. 
     Having a christian counselor that supports the truths found in scripture is important. Not only did I find one of that fit that description, but I also received wonderful advice and help from others. None will be able to shed as much light as someone that has walked the journey of infidelity. And of course I had my Heavenly Father, always with me, and listening to my thoughts and my heart. Speak to Him- share your feelings, and know that He is completely invested in you. When we open our hearts to those willing to help, we will be on the road to healing, much faster!

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22 ESV
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14 ESV
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 ESV
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for always hearing me, and for Your Word that gives instruction and guidance. I thank You as well for providing those who can give us professional help when it is needed. I am thankful for the counsel of friends, and for the blessing of a good, christian counselor. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!