Living Without Sin

     Today, my heart is heavy when I think of the world we live in. Depravity of every kind fills the hustle of modern day cities, as well as the quiet gentle slopes of the countryside. You can't turn on the news without hearing awful things. Nor could you scroll through social media without squirming with discomfort. School cafeterias buzz with plans-plans that involve sin. Hospital corridors are teeming with patients suffering the results of sin. Co-workers whisper of things that should never be said. Church walls witness sinners in desperate need of a Savior. And my own heart is a place that is in a constant battle against that 3-letter word-sin!
     Without sin, we would live in a perfect world. This is a world only experienced by two humans-Adam and Eve. A world unstained before the fall of mankind. A world fully connected with God. This world was pain-free. It was open and trusting and completely harmonious. No wars. No racism. No worry. No sickness. No sadness. No divorce. No sexual sin. No selfishness. No natural disasters. No hunger. No death! Nothing at all that could hurt us. It's a world that I honestly can't imagine, because I've never lived there. But I know that someday, I will.
     I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to heaven. But even though I am, I'm unable to grasp what it will be like to no longer be tempted. I can't begin to understand never feeling worry, pain, or sadness. I don't know a world that isn't self-absorbed. I worry about illness, or the loss of a loved one. I am in a constant war against aging and body image. I feel a craving for more-a craving that can't ever be fully satisfied because my list of wants continually grows. This is all we know, because we live after the fall of Adam and Eve. But I long for better.
     If I assigned a mental picture to entering heaven's gate, there would be a huge pile of burdens, too high to measure, laying just outside of it. I would walk through with such relief after such a weary journey through life. Oh, how I long to see the face of Jesus-for sure, but I also long to feel the absence of sin and how deeply it affects every aspect of my life. I long to finally be at complete peace with no worries or cares weighing heavily on my mind and my heart. I long to be holy. And while many days here make me smile with joy, the burden is always there, always lingering, and always beckoning me to succumb to the desires of my flesh. 
     You've been hurt by sin. We all have. None have been exempt from its wages. But if you belong to Christ, it's all just temporary. And while we can claim victory over temptation through His Spirit each day, it's a constant war. Some wars we will win, and some we will falter and fail. As our hearts are heavy with the devastating current events-we long for better days, yet we cannot experience complete peace and unity in a sin broken world. What our souls long for is heaven-a place where sin will be forever put away. And while I can change my own actions, the world will continue to disappoint me. Until I'm home in heaven, sin will be an issue for me. I'll wrestle with it until the day I die. But one day-one day soon, it'll lose its hold on me. I long for the release of its deadly grip, and I daydream of how wonderful it will to finally be free.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23 (ESV).
Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned- Romans 5:12 (ESV).
Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins Ecclesiastes 7:20 (ESV).
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me Psalm 51:10 (ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we long for the day sin will be forever removed from us. It hurts others, and it hurts me. Our sin had such a cost to Your Son, Jesus, and through that cost, He made a way for us to be free! We look forward to the day we will no longer struggle with it, and are at perfect rest in Your presence. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     
     

Facing Life with Courage

     Honestly, I love the word courageous, and all that it means, but it's not a word that often fits my character. Me and the struggle with being courageous go way back. From being a tiny toddler, terrified of being plopped on top of the fridge, to being scared of the starter gun while running on the school track, to being afraid of the dark, I've often fallen short of bravery. I want to be courageous, but I often allow fear to spoil it. 
     As we forge ahead into 2020, I pray for more courage- for you, and for me. Life can be scary. Situations unsettling. Circumstances impossible! What unexpected bends in the road are you currently facing? Is your career in jeopardy? Do you have a sickness that causes you worry? Troubling kids?Financial challenges also are very unsettling, bringing their own set of fear and doubt. Is your marriage in trouble? Often, those who have walked through an affair, like me, have their own set of worries. Satan longs to use these to weaken our faith and zap our courage. So many life situations can make us feel stressed and fearful, far from courageous- even as Christians. 
     God doesn't want us to live in a state of worry and fear, yet I often drag myself into exactly that. While He understands our feelings, but He doesn't want us to allow circumstances to diminish our faith in Him. Instead, He wants us to recognize His ability to handle our problems allowing us to live courageously and boldly! Worry and stress have always plagued me. I would love to be known by my unshakeable faith, but in reality, I'm often anxious. Yet looking back over my life, I can see examples of how God walked me through some very trying circumstances. He didn't allow them to destroy me, but rather to challenge and grow me. That, alone should give me courage for anything that is ahead.
     What if we were given the ability to know what would happen in the future? Would it cause us less fear, having the unknown removed? Would I be braver? I would imagine that wouldn't be the case- instead, we would often live our days in dread of what's ahead. God, in His mercy, spared us from knowing future happenings; instead, calling us to faith. Faith that whatever lies ahead, He knows about it all, and is able to meet our needs. When we exercise true faith in our Father, our courage is bolstered. We can push away the stress and anxieties of today, knowing they are all in His capable hands. 
     Today, I am grappling with my own set of fears and worries, and I bet you have your own list of them. God is working in my heart to remove these burdens, reminding me that He is an Overcomer. And because I am God's child, He can overcome what I cannot. While I am a person that likes to be prepared for what is ahead, the best way I can do this is to recall His promises to me. He has promised that no matter what I am called to, He will meet me there. And so as I write this, I ask for courage to simply surrender to His control, knowing He is fighting my battles for me. 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 (ESV)
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6 (ESV)
For God gave us not a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)
Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! Psalm 27:14 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, open my heart and my hands to Your control, and ease my worries and stress. Life has its uncertainties, but we can be sure of Your ability to work in them, and through them. Father I pray for a greater courage, and a deeper faith, knowing You alone are best in the driver's seat of my life. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!

     

Short-Sighted Prayers

     If we are all honest, we're guilty, at times, of offering up short-sighted prayers. We pray for the things we want today. We pray for things that will make us happy now. We pray for things that will make us comfortable and remove any current pain we may be experiencing. From the earliest memories of my prayer life, God has heard a lot from me about what I want, and not nearly enough about what He wants. I'm often guilty of having Ruth-vision, instead of God-vision. 
     Oh how thankful I am, for a God who understands my heart, shallow as it can be. I know He understands my prayers, and hurts when I am hurting. But when I was faced with a broken marriage, my short-sighted prayers were thrown at the feet of Jesus with a feverish pace. "Lord, help me through this day. Dear Jesus, restore my marriage. Heavenly Father, change his heart. Lord Jesus, change my heart. God, help me!" I longed for Him to remove my problems and pain immediately. My prayers were about my comfort, but sometimes, God moves us out of our comfortable state on purpose. 
     Imagine if I learned to pray with far-sighted vision. One that asked for things like, "Lord, exercise my faith in You!" Or, "God, thank You for allowing me to experience pain and loss so that I may use it to relate to others who are walking in similar trials." Maybe even this- "Jesus, use this for as long as You feel it necessary, so that I may be more like You, and point others to You!" These are prayers that we are afraid to pray, because the reality is- these prayers will cost us. 
     Honestly, it's a lot easier to pray this way when you've already reached the other side of a particular battle. We pray that God will use what happened to us for His glory, in our more comfortable state of relief and victory. But in the thick of our heartache, these are hard words to say. I take comfort in the prayer of Jesus when faced with the looming sacrifice of His life on the cross. He prayed, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup (of suffering) pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39 ESV). Of course none of us like suffering, loss, or pain- not even Jesus. But in our obedience to faithfully enduring a trial or hardship, we are living with God-vision. When we pray with an attitude of seeking God's will in a situation (including His timing), we are praying a far-sighted prayer. 
     This angle of prayer takes courage and faith in our Heavenly Father. It will oftentimes cost us our comfort and our current happiness. But it won't ever cost us our security, when we realize we are always secure in Christ- our unchangeable foundation. And it won't cost us our joy, when we recognize that joy is found in Christ alone. I don't write these words as an authority on always praying with far-sightedness, because it's an honest struggle for me, as well. But in the middle of our battles, we will never be sorry when we pray for His will to be done. While we may flounder at understanding His ways on this side of eternity, one day it will be crystal clear. We will see all the pieces come together in one giant story of redemption- and our own obedience will show its evidence in God's master plan. What an honor it will be when we see how our little part in the bigger story allowed for His glory to be revealed. God help me to pray with a heart that seeks Your vision, and not mine!

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Matthew 6:10 ESV
For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:36 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to transform my prayer life in accordance with Your will for me, and not my own. I confess that I love to live a life of comfort, free from suffering. But there is a cost associated with an easy life, and the cost is the loss of being molded into someone more like You. Help me to pray with God-vision, and not my own vision. In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen!

Warning Label

     What if God gave us warning labels ahead of our sin, to help us more clearly see the disastrous result of our poor choices? Do you think we would proceed with what we wanted to do if we had a clearer picture of what our choice would cost? I think we may look at our sin differently, but I also think we get stuck in a selfish pattern of wanting what we want, regardless of what God has to say about it. This past summer, I wrote an article through a counseling exercise regarding a warning label for my husband's infidelity. I wanted to share a little of it, even though we find it painful to read now:

"You will feel disappointed with things as you get to be middle-aged. Did I do all the things I wanted to do before I was old? You’ll feel like you missed out on things you deserved and you’ll begin forgetting about Me, and about her. You’ll believe you are an exception to the rule and will be able to handle some harmless flirtation. The other guys do it, why can’t you? Who will know, and who would find out? You’ll stuff down My voice and My Word will get dog hair and dust on the cover. Flirtation will turn a little more serious, and you’ll ignore My warnings. You’ll lie to your wife and the people you love and care about. You’ll call her on your way home from work each day and build a relationship you have no business building. You’ll build all around your lust, and your family I blessed you with will fall like shattered glass. You will fail them. You won’t be there for them the way they always thought you would be. You’ll tell them lies about where you are and what you are doing and you’ll try not to hear Me.  You were once respected by all who knew you, but your lustful choices will bring you down. You are broken and weak and you still won’t listen to My voice. You will walk away from your family and leave your wife and children feeling vulnerable. You will destroy what was, with your selfish ways and insensitivity, but your focus is on yourself now. I warned you from the start that you had no business going down this path, but you didn’t listen to Me. You wanted your way. You can turn back and make things right, but you must love Me more than anyone- including yourself. Satan sent this woman- not Me. You forget the good plans I have for you and you will never find happiness serving your selfish desires. Had you read this warning label before you started down this road, would you have chosen differently? My love is for you, and I call to you still. Will you listen? I love you, My son, and I always will. Turn back to Me, and let Me show you the path to true joy and happiness." 

     When I found this the other day, I was struck with how good God is! Just like a loving parent, He speaks and urges us to listen. He longs to forgive us and offer grace when we ignore our warning labels- and I am guilty. If God is warning you today, friend, about a particular struggle you are facing, take time to really think it through and count the cost. 

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23 ESV

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Galatians 6:7-8 ESV

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 14:12 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for how often I ignore Your voice whispering words of wisdom in the face of my foolish, sinful choices. How thankful I am for Your wonderful grace- so undeserved yet such a gift. Help me to listen closer to Your voice, and to stay actively engaged in Your Word to protect from Satan's targets against me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

False Start

     Last summer, my heart soared. I got a call from my husband saying all the words I wanted to hear. I wondered what caused the turn around, and was just so excited for a fresh start. To celebrate, we took some time away- just the two of us. We traveled to one of our favorite spots in Florida- Siesta Key Beach. We would have a week to talk, connect, and spend time together. 
     I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, but something seemed off. Our week started out strong, but as it went on, the connection felt strange. Honestly, I felt at times that he wasn't where he wanted to be, and that really bothered me. On the drive home, we didn't speak very much at all. I attributed it to being tired, and he was content to drive the whole way. There wasn't really tension, just a failure to feel rejuvenated in our relationship and connected in all aspects. This was affirmed when we returned home, and again, we drifted away from one another. The affair was not over. These were frustrating, heartbreaking, and painful points in our journey. 
     Maybe you've felt that in your relationship. Things seem to be going the right direction, but there is an underlying issue that ends up driving you apart, rather than closer together. Sometimes we have a firm understanding of what the root cause is, and other times we don't. Regardless, it's a hard bend in the road that leaves us feeling hurt and uncertain.
     False starts in relationships happen. We forge ahead, thinking we are on a good path, only to discover we aren't really moving forward after all. I think of times this has happened not only in my marriage, but in my spiritual walk with Christ. I have the best intentions of "turning over a new leaf" only to flounder again, and again. I used to wonder how this kept happening, and how I could avoid having it happen again. But I discovered that my lack of consistency for staying tuned in to His voice was the biggest contributing factor to falling off track. 
     If you've had the same spiritual struggle, the answers are found in daily Bible reading, study, and prayer. The more you do it, the more you'll enjoy it. The more you enjoy it, the more it will change your life. And when your life is changed, your marriage will also change. Just as we rely on God's grace toward us for a relationship with Him, we must also lavish it on our spouses, or significant others. A relationship without grace cannot thrive. Likewise, a relationship without a repentant heart for wrongdoing, also can't thrive. If you want a fresh start today instead of a false start, start with the truth found in His Word and let it spill over into all areas of your life. It will change you- and it will give you a new sense of purpose! Let this verse be your daily motivation:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your wonderful, marvelous grace. I am grateful that You give me fresh starts, and forgive my false starts. Help those hurting in their marriages today that are struggling with false starts. I know the pain of it, and I pray that You work in their lives and hearts. I pray for a heart of grace and compassion, and also for a repentant heart when I hurt others or sin against You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!