People associate grief with death, but when it comes to a broken marriage, you will likely experience grief. Grief can occur with any emotional parting with someone or something we genuinely care about. When my husband walked out of the door the second time, I truly felt fresh grief as I was faced with what I felt was the end of our marriage.
There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. At some point since I initially discovered infidelity in our marriage, I went through all five stages. But I experienced all of the first 4 before he left the second time, and when he left in December of 2018, I felt the final stage of acceptance. We had gone through so much working towards resolution and reconciliation. I didn't believe there was anything further I could do to save our marriage. I had prayed a thousand prayers, cried a river of tears, begged and pleaded before my Heavenly Father, and still- he left. I didn't have any more fight left in me.
The best thing about God is that when we can't fight anymore, He can! In fact, when we give up our own struggling for what we want, He does His best work without any interference by us. And so while I had felt all of these painful feelings of grief, He was about to get to serious business with the fate of my marriage. While I laid down my will and simply let go, He stepped in and began some pretty amazing things- things I couldn't see over the next week. The week ahead would be painful, but I tried to focus on bringing in the New Year enjoying the company of our kids, and doing some fun things to celebrate.
Have you felt grief in your life? Most of us have experienced it with the death of a loved one, but have you felt it in other areas, excluding physical death? It's interesting how our brain experiences grief in the trauma of a marital crisis, but it makes sense. God says when we are joined in marriage, "two become one flesh" (Mark 10:8). When the one flesh is torn in two again, there is a form of death- marital death. This is a painful event that causes us to experience grief, especially as the betrayed spouse. Scripture promises us that God is a God of comfort and help. He won't leave us throughout our grieving process, and will seek to strengthen and help us navigate through until we come out of the other side. And even then, He is with us in the "new" that awaits.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 ESV
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4 ESV
My flesh and my heart may fail. but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26 ESV
"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1 ESV
For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you." Isaiah 41:13 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for walking beside me through my grief. You've felt it, and You know how difficult the emotions are. I pray for any currently facing grief, that You would draw close, give comfort, and in time- acceptance. Thank You for bringing me through the fire, and for faithfully walking through it by my side. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
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