New Year's Eve, 2018

     How do you celebrate New Year's Eve? Do you have certain traditions that you enjoy carrying out with your loved ones? Most of us have our family traditions that surround holidays, and we look forward to them with anticipation. Because really- holidays are about family, and being with the people we love. And that's all well and good until we find ourselves in the middle of a broken marriage.
     For many years, our family has celebrated New Year's Eve the same way. We go to my sister's house around 7pm. We eat (too much), we play games, we visit, we watch the ball drop on TV, and we bring in the New Year with loud kazoos, kisses, sparkling cider, and fireworks. These are fireworks well outside of the acceptable for midnight range - especially in their neighborhood, but so far- no cops;) It's a night of family, fun, food and lots of laughs. 
     This year, though, I didn't really have many laughs. I dreaded going, to be honest, because a big part of my New Year's Eve had been wrapped around the one who gave me my midnight kiss- and he was painfully absent. I didn't want to go, and yet I felt I had to resume some sort of normalcy. I was faced with many possible New Year's Eves, and I needed to start trying to find a new way of life on my own. My mom was a great listening ear that night, and understood if I wanted to leave, I could leave. I appreciated her caring, unselfish ways that night- I sure needed someone to understand.
     My real issue wasn't the 7:00-11:59 part of the evening- it was the 12:00 on the nose, part of the evening that I dreaded. And so around 11:30, I made my exit and just wanted to bring in the New Year in my home. I wanted to sit on my couch, watch the ball drop, and use the time to pray for new beginnings. I had been checking on my husband's location (he still shared his), and I knew he was celebrating far away from home and it hurt.
     These are days when we especially need our Heavenly Father. In a way that I had never needed him prior to our marriage crisis, I was learning to really know the truth of His faithfulness, and He never let me down. Maybe you've known Him in this same way, and you were amazed and humbled at the love of our precious Father. I can tell you- it meant all the difference to me! It was life to my weary, sad heart, and gave such comfort in those dark days. But what I didn't know was that God was preparing the way for a miracle in my life. While I knew He was able, I had no expectations for what was ahead anymore- other than to know that no matter what... He STILL had good plans for me. Wherever you are today, don't lose sight of that wonderful truth found in Jeremiah 29:11. The good plans are there- and in His time, they will come. Be patient in tribulation, my Friend, trusting He is faithful to His Word. 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 ESV
And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great. Job 8:7 ESV
Trust in the LORD will all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, when we face hard life events or holidays without a loved one, we are so thankful for Your help and comfort through those times. A big part of faith is knowing that on our darkest days, You will bring us back to a place of joy and hope. The process won't be painless or easy, but we trust You to carry us through. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!