Sunday Relationship Post- Secrets

     You can probably go way back to your earliest memories and recall the birth of secret keeping in your life. Whispers in the ears of your sister or brother that circled around a likely trivial thought or event. "Don't tell," we would say. Or those hushed voice conversations with our best friends at recess, revealing our deepest thoughts. Whatever your memories conjure up, these were harmless secrets we often did tell, even if we promised not to.
     Then life got a little more complicated, and so did the secrets. They took on a more serious tone now, with real consequences if we failed to uphold our promise to keep them. The truth is, we all need someone to talk to and share our feelings with, and oftentimes our burdens are carried by others when we feel free enough to share. Having a trusted confidant is invaluable when life throws up some curveballs. 
     Then comes marriage. This a place where secrets are dangerous. They divide us and cause distrust. While our spouse should be our greatest confidant, we often turn to others instead. When we are faced with serious issues, we need to have open communication in order to be able to share our struggles with our spouse. It's so important to feel comfortable sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings in a marriage. And if we feel things about one another that are things we see as issues, we need to go to our spouse for resolution, rather than an outside source. 
     There are secrets that are harmless- surprises for one another or sensitive information told to us through another relationship that will not have any impact on your marriage. But in most cases, secrets will cause trouble in a marriage, and open doors of distrust and insecurity. When it comes to infidelity, secrets are the root problem and in order to heal and reestablish trust, they are off limits. The importance of honesty and openness cannot be overstated. Simply put, make a promise to keep nothing from your spouse- not overspending, not an encounter with a flirt, not career decisions, not parenting issues, nor any other piece of information that should be openly shared. 
     God has called each of His children to honesty. We cannot keep secrets from Him since He knows all, and sees all. And He doesn't want us to keep them in our marriages either. Honesty is a characteristic we associate with a godly marriage, and if we want our marriage to be healthy and God honoring, secrets have no place in them. As difficult as it is, I challenge you to open the doors of your heart and mind with your spouse and put away secrets that divide, not unite. 

Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Luke 12:2 ESV
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Ephesians 4:25 ESV
I tell you on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:36-37 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for honesty in my marriage and all of my relationships. Keep me from covering up secrets from those I love, and from tearing down trust in relationships I have with my loved ones. Help me to be a person of my word, and to be trusted by all that know me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!