There's a lot of truth to the title and lyrics of this song by Cinderella. This likely dates me a little- back to the 80's, which was a pretty good decade, to be honest. But just the simple truth in the song title is as real as real gets. For me, I took my life and my marriage for granted, but when faced with the very real possibility of losing my marriage, there was a lot of loss associated with that.
It's a lot easier, today, to write a blog post on this subject, because I know the outcome of our journey through infidelity. But in reality, there is a lot to be gained in taking stock of whatever stage of life we are living today. Even in those darker months and years, there were life lessons and cultivating that I needed to learn and experience in order to appreciate today. When I think of life without my husband, I realize with clarity, the real sense of loss I faced.
Losing my marriage meant losing so much more than just a wedding ring and a last name. It meant losing my life partner- losing the yin to my yang (whatever that even is;). It meant making big decisions on my own and finishing up parenting as separated parents- not united. It meant quiet, lonely evenings and cereal for dinner, because cooking for one is a waste of my time. There was no one to fall asleep with each night, and no one to share all the little details of my day and my life. Who would care for me if I fell ill? What would I do with our family home and how do we separate personal items? There is so much associated with our marriage partner that we don't even realize until we lose it. For those readers whose spouse has died, my heart hurts for you. There is a permanency there that forces one to move forward without their other half, and I'm sure the pain is horrible.
One of the best lessons to take from each day, and each moment in our journey, is to find the good in where we are. There is always good even in our most difficult moments. I can see the hugs, support, love, and prayers from my dearest friends and family in those dark times, and I see good. I look at how God made His presence so real and so comforting and I praise Him for His goodness. I can see how I was changed for the better through what we experienced. I can see how my husband is a better man because of what God brought us through. I see the good in our marriage today, and how much richer it is from experiencing near loss. Whatever it is you are facing today, I encourage you to see the good, and not just the heartache. It's understandable and easy to wish away these more difficult days, but trust that God is with you in your today, and He will use these moments to make a better "you" than you could ever imagine. Loss makes us appreciate what we do have, and I pray that today, you will find the touches of God in your present, and praise Him for them!
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 ESV
He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, Colossians 1:13 ESV
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27 ESV
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 ESV
This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. Psalm 119:50 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for giving back to me not only what I almost lost, but so much more. That is something only You can do, Father, and I praise You for Your ability to bless us beyond measure. For those who have lost a spouse, I pray for comfort and healing. We are so thankful that no matter what our circumstances, You are with us. You love us with a love we can't understand, and we are so grateful. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
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